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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26552803">Twinkle Twinkle Little Star</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/EpicAandK/pseuds/EpicAandK'>EpicAandK</a>, <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Icy_Roulette/pseuds/Icy_Roulette'>Icy_Roulette</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Ameanria - All Media Types, Half-Life VR But The AI Is Self Aware, The Borrowers - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Amputation, Angst, Beta read but at what cost, Black Mesa Sweet Voice, Blood and Injury, Body Horror, Canon-Typical Violence, Cosmic Horror Benrey, Fluff, G/T, Giant/Tiny, Hurt/Comfort, Hysteria, M/M, OC - Freeform - Freeform, Original Species, Original Universe Lore, Panic Attacks, Size Difference, Stabbing, Violence, character exploration, gordon has trust issues, he/him/they/them benrey, hlvrai au, kinda love at first sight?, mature for violence; swearing; etc., more characters and relationships to be added; elton &amp; pennyback are for plot, one-sided pining; or is it?, original universe gods mentioned, quick to catch fire slow to burn, size shifting, species shenanigans, time perception ambiguity</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 08:29:35</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>90,575</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26552803</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/EpicAandK/pseuds/EpicAandK, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Icy_Roulette/pseuds/Icy_Roulette</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"Today wasn't seeming too poggers; vibes were off or something. A bit of intuition was screaming at him that maybe a small event would occur today, shake things up a little from the monotonous lifestyle he subjected himself to."<br/>----<br/>A lonesome borrower finds himself in the apartment of a celestial monster who's too bored for their own good and does his best to cope with the first time he's ever been caught.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Benrey/Gordon Freeman</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>226</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>412</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Unlike other stories where Benrey is an ambiguous eldritch horror, my friends and I managed to lasso an alien species around the bastard, and thus, this fic is the result of us experimenting with how to characterize him with the label slapped on... That, and how it would go if borrower!Gordon somehow got mixed in. Oops. </p><p>So have fun reading this RP-turned-fanfic mess of a love story. </p><p>Also, the species is from my friend's comic, Ameanria, and since lifeforms from the planet are heavily tied to their gods, we have a couple mentioned throughout the story. Tbh this fic helped me further map out the species for the comic, so poggers. </p><p>---</p><p>Gods mentioned in the story:<br/>Ghetsis - the Ameanrian god of Chaos: he is responsible for making Griilliis - the first species to inhabit the planet and the species we've assigned to Benrey.<br/>Bikriin - the Ameanrian goddess of Love: she deals with all things love, lovers, friends, and family. </p><p>Sweet voice translations:<br/>Brown to white to brown like a coconut - it's time to hunt<br/>Blush - I have a crush<br/>Green to blue - it's nice to meet you<br/>The shades of a ripe grapefruit - you are so cute</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Round and around. Round and around. And on and on and on... So, fucking,<em> repetitive </em>... yet, so hypnotizing. Eyes circling in tandem with the blades of the ceiling fan, locking on akin to that of a hawk locking onto prey. Could he spend eternity here? Probably. He was immortal after all! But would he have the moxie to lay here long enough to experience any sort of collapse? Fuck that. </p><p>He was bored, but not THAT bored. </p><p>Benrey let out a frustrated sigh of annoyance. He should probably do something <em>other </em>than lay on the living room floor and stare at a ceiling fan. Today wasn't seeming too poggers; vibes were off or something. A bit of intuition was screaming at him that maybe a small event would occur today, shake things up a little from the monotonous lifestyle he subjected himself to. <em> Anything </em>but this. Ghetsis, he needed friends; well he had Tommy, but Tommy lived in New Mexico with his two boyfriends in a house in the suburbs of Albuquerque. </p><p>Benrey had tried staying for extended periods of time - keyword tried. However, New Mexico had too much fucking sun, too much light. Instead, the Griillii opted to live in a state much colder and much darker, yet still bearable: Dildo, Newfoundland, Canada.</p><p>The apartment he had to himself wasn't much, but it was all he needed. A simple single bedroom, single bath apartment with a small kitchen space, bar-like area, and living room area. In the living room, a sliding door opened to a balcony. Piles of clothes laid around the floor, seemingly in a contest to outgrow the piles of Monster and soda cans.</p><p>-----</p><p>Gordon was hungry. His crumb supply was running low and he needed to go scavenging for supplies.</p><p>In his old home, this wasn't an issue. He lived with an elderly bean, a few doors down in the apartment complex. They seemed nice and were forgetful enough to leave lots of stuff out for him when scavenging.  It made his life easier. He would even say he was slightly spoiled by the elderly bean. But... but they had left, and he hadn't seen them since. Instead, younger beans arrived, still adults but not elderly, they had begun to clean up the apartment. He couldn't stay there anymore.</p><p>So now he was here. This apartment was not as easy as his previous home. He chose this apartment because of all the stuff left around, it gave him lots of hiding spaces and helped him find supplies. But the bean was unpredictable. He also looked really fucking scary. Gordon noticed the claws and sharp teeth, he assumed the human, err, bean got himself modified to have them.</p><p>Gordon was peeking out around the corner, he planned on moving from the bedroom to the kitchen, but he had to sneak past the bean to make that work. Dammit. He was fairly sure they were distracted with... whatever the fuck they were doing, but just watching them left Gordon on edge.</p><p>But his rumbling stomach reminded him why he needed to get to the kitchen.</p><p>He sighs, adjusts his bag, and begins hurriedly sneaking into the kitchen. Just a quick get in, grab food, and return to the small home he's set up in the bedroom. The bean spends the least amount of time in the bedroom, so he set up shop there.</p><p>Benrey kept watching the fan. Maybe he should put stickers on the blades, see what effect that would have. But that would mean he'd have to go out and buy stickers... Eh maybe someday. His throat felt a bit dry laying there. Oh shit, maybe he was thirsty? It was hard to tell what his body even craved at any given point, it was <em> love </em> he craved...though gamer fuel always seemed to liven him up. Benrey had tried alcohol at one point, but it was god awful in taste and had no effect on him; keep that trash away. </p><p>With a newfound determined huff, Benrey sat up and stretched with an unholy yell - it was a damn good stretch. </p><p>"Aaaa fuck yeah." he sighed, getting up from his spot on the floor. Claws idly scratched at his stomach, eyes dead set on getting to the fridge.</p><p>Gordon had made it close to the small bar section of the kitchen and had started moving along the counter walls. He pulled his hook out of his bag. He searched for a good spot to throw it; had to make sure it was stable so he could climb the long string onto the counter. That's where most of the crumbs would be.</p><p>His searching was cut off by the unholy yell. It sent a shiver up the borrower’s spine, the tip of his tail puffed up and his ears shot up, the actions akin to a startled cat. Fuck. That couldn't have been a good sign.</p><p>Gordon turns to look at the bean, feeling his stomach sink at the sight of it now standing, its gaze on the fridge. Shit. Now, the fridge was kind of across the kitchen from him, but the bean would have to walk past him to get to it, and there was a real risk of being spotted or stepped on. Shit shit shit.</p><p>He needed a hiding spot, and fast. </p><p>His legs kick into motion and he rushes himself along the counter wall, sticking close to it. He noticed one of the cupboards was slightly open, just enough for him to squeeze inside. Well. It would have to do. He shoved his hook back into his bag and began sprinting towards the hiding spot, moving as fast as his little legs would carry him.</p><p>Strides long and heavy, Benrey's socked foot planted down close to where Gordon had just been, still very much unaware of the borrower. The Griillii was aware of one key and crucial thing: something small had been getting into his food, not fucking cool at all. Not much could piss Benrey off, but if there was one thing that you should never mess with it was his gamer fuel rations. </p><p>He never really needed to eat, but he still found it enjoyable as all hell to just <strong>consume</strong> - it's in his nature. Despite the "small annoyance", it was the furthest thing from his mind when entering the kitchen. That Dragon Fruit Monster: Rehab was calling his name. Benrey sauntered to the fridge and opened the door, exposing what little food he had in there.</p><p>Gordon got himself into the cupboard and pressed himself against the wall inside, listening to the bean stomp about. Shit. That was close. Way too fucking close. His tail twitched anxiously as he listened to them. He would have to wait in here until they were distracted again. Gordon didn't know how long that would be but staying here was far safer than risk being crushed out there.</p><p>Borrowers would only take things that wouldn't be missed. Lost items and bits of food that were left behind were common for borrowers to take. They usually lived with humans who didn't care about some missing crumbs or tiny bits of food off a plate. Gordon didn't know Benrey wasn’t human, so he had assumed that the little bits of missing food did not matter to the large entity.</p><p>Like magic, when Benrey opened the door to the fridge he stared at it for a while, having momentarily forgotten why he was at the fridge in the first place. Unblinking, unmoving, he stood. It was deathly silent - save for the humming of the fridge itself. Benrey closed the door.</p><p>A pause. </p><p>"Oh shit. Ha-ha, that's right." The giant spoke to himself, reopening the fridge and reaching for an ice-cold Monster. It was always funny to him; a monster drinking a Monster. Poetic, almost...</p><p>Gordon heard the silence and shifted to the slightly opened cupboard door, he decided to peek out a little. He watched the bean stare at the fridge, unblinking. It sent another shiver up his spine. Something was very... different... about the bean he chose to live with. He was unpredictable. Gordon knew he had some form of a schedule, most humans did, but he couldn’t pin down the human’s routine or behaviors. At least not yet, he'd figure it out eventually.</p><p>For now, he silently watched from the cupboard. Okay Gordon, once they’re out of the kitchen you can keep searching for food. Just the thought of food made his tiny stomach rumble. He couldn't do anything about it yet, he had to wait.</p><p>A sniff echoed. Benrey blinked and his pupils narrowed into slits, his nose picking up a peculiar smell. It was an oh-so-familiar scent that once ravaged across his brain in times of old and made something turn in his stomach: he blew some sweet voice from his mouth, brown orbs that shifted to white and then to brown again. He was just about to open the can when the inexplicable scent wafted across his senses.</p><p>The Griillii inhaled and then exhaled heavily, he had lowkey missed smelling it: the smell of fear.</p><p>Benrey turned around where he stood; thankfully, his eyes were not directed at the floor.</p><p>Gordon watches the colored orbs leave the human’s mouth; his brows furrowed in confused curiosity at the sight. He.... he had never seen anything like it before. The sound was odd but somewhat beautiful - same with the colors.</p><p>His fascination was replaced very quickly when the bean turned suddenly. He flinched back a little. Uh oh. His ears press flat against his head as he quietly retreats further back into the cupboard. He wasn't sure what caused the sudden movement but the last thing he wanted was to be found. The thought of the bean’s sharp nails and teeth tearing him apart made him want to hurl.</p><p>His ears remained pressed to his head as his tail nervously swayed behind him. He listens out for the bean’s movements, hoping it'll leave for another room soon.</p><p>Yellow eyes snapped to the cabinet door that just closed from the borrower's retreat. Even though it was such a small movement, Benrey most definitely caught it, more eyes opened on his head. To be sure and thorough, a few bits of his sweatpants dripped off into blobs of black ichor onto the floor, shifting and morphing into 3 tiny floating skeletons. Without a single word of command, the bones flew off to other parts of the house: the living room, the bathroom, and the bedroom; leaving the kitchen just for big ole Benrey.</p><p>Gordon heard the footsteps growing closer and felt his stomach sink. He backed away from the cupboard doors. Did it see him? How?? He'd never been spotted before!</p><p>The Griillii stalked closer to the door and squatted down. Whatever had entered his domain was gonna fucking get it. He could practically smell the fear rolling from the crack in the door in waves, and it seemed to have grown in strength as he neared. 'I can't wait to see what even dared-' The inner monologue started as sharp talons pulled the door open, the light shining in and onto the borrower in the corner. </p><p>
  <em> 'What even dared to be.... so... so...'  </em>
</p><p>The slits in his eyes bloomed, pupils dilating, and talons shrinking as something caught in his chest. He had never, never, never ever had this reaction to anyone ever.  Benrey stared down as a new warm emotion racked his body. A string of green to blue followed by tiny orbs spanning the color of a grapefruit floated out of his agape mouth.</p><p>
  <em> 'So cute'.  </em>
</p><p>The borrower’s panic only grew when the cupboard doors were thrown open. He was already afraid, but his fear turned to dread when he saw the bean. They suddenly had more eyes and talons. Those eyes... Those eyes did not look human. It sent a shiver down his spine, his ears pressed against his head and his tail tucked between his legs.</p><p>Gordon felt like a cornered animal. Shit. He needed to find an exit. His mind debated if he could somehow run past them. Would it catch him then?? Could it catch him??? He wasn't sure, he just knew he was terrified of the entity in front of him. For now, the borrower's shaking form looked up at Benrey, he almost felt frozen as all the eyes gazed at him.</p><p>The stare between the two was held for a couple of moments before Benrey made a move. He swallowed before speaking.</p><p>"Uhh, h-hey… what's up?" The anomaly tried, a clawed hand raising in greeting. </p><p>'Real smooth, idiot.'</p><p>Gordon didn't process what was said, he just saw its mouth move, the reveal of sharp teeth, and its clawed hand raise. His mind came to a single conclusion, though. In all his fear, terror, dread, and confusion he had a singular thought.</p><p>Run.</p><p>Without much thought the borrower booked it forwards, dropping out of the cupboard and moving to run past Benrey. His thoughts came as a jumbled mess as survival was his only goal. Fuck being hungry. Being hungry is better than being dead. He decided to run to the bedroom, his home was there.</p><p>Please don't grab me, please don't grab me, please don't grab me!</p><p>Benrey was frozen in place as all his eyes followed Gordon's fast exit. He blinked and pouted. Damn it... At least he knew what had been eating his "food" as of late. But with a face like that? That little dude could have whatever he pleased, he concluded. The feelings that consumed him vanished when the borrower vanished behind the corner, however, the memory lingered and the tiniest bit of that emotion from before leaked from a crack within. He didn't want to think about it too hard, he had a monster to drink. </p><p>The Griillii shrugged and closed the cabinet door, standing to his full height and grabbing the monster from the counter. Time to sip that sweet gamer fuel.</p><p>----</p><p>In the bedroom, the 4-inch skeleton sent to hunt Gordon sat on the edge of the made bed, waiting and watching. A silent command had ordered it to grab a wrapped mini Kit-Kat from a candy stash in Benrey's storage closet - scores from the post valentine’s day sale - and so it sat there, Kit-Kat in its boney lap.</p><p>Gordon dashed into the bedroom before quickly pressing himself against the wall by the door frame. He took quick and heavy breaths, still scared out of his mind. He did his best to hush his pounding lungs, trying to listen for the human, or whatever it was. Would it follow him?? Did it see where he ran?? Now that he'd been spotted, does he need to move?? Fuck. He had so many questions.</p><p>He didn't notice the skeleton on the bed, he was more focused on listening to the bean outside. Fuck. Fuckfuckfuck! Dammit, he shouldn't have been so careless. Damn him and damn his rumbling stomach!</p><p>The skeleton watched Gordon for a few more moments before floating down to hide behind a small box under the bed that rested near a hole in the wall. It was doing its best to not be spotted as it laid the Kit-Kat in front of the hole before retreating to its hiding place to watch. It seemed to act like a shy schoolgirl leaving a love letter for a crush in a locker.</p><p>Gordon didn't move until he was sure the bean wouldn't follow him. He let out a relieved sigh. "Oh, thank fuck." He whispers to himself. He adjusts his bag once more before walking to the hole in the wall. Inside was his home.</p><p>His home was a fairly simple set-up. It was basically one room. He had a collection of buttons and fabrics to make clothes, string and replacement paper clips for his hook, and a bunch of other items he found and decided to keep. Just in case. If it won't be missed, then it's okay.</p><p>Before he could enter his home, his eyes noticed something by the entrance. He picks it up and looks it over, his tail wagging a little excitedly. What are the odds! Chocolate! Right by his front door!!</p><p>"Seems like today isn't all bad." He chuckles to himself.</p><p>-----</p><p>"It was… a pretty poggers day," Benrey admitted to himself in the living room with a soft sigh. His tail fucking wagged when he was happy about something??? A pillow was gripped from the couch he laid on and slammed into his face; blush-colored sweet voice staining the pillow. The Griillii wanted to see that tail wag more someday.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you so much to my friends vrictel (tumblr), yourbesttrashcan (tumblr), slugdeluxe (tumblr), and N3ptxne (twitter) for beta reading the shit out of this for us.</p><p>And a super mega poggers thank you to yourbesttrashcan for letting me stuff lore into this story from the comic!!<br/>Please please check him out on tumblr ; - ; https://ybt-draws.tumblr.com/ || https://yourbesttrashcan.tumblr.com/</p><p>Feel free to follow Epic and I on Tumblr and our art blogs; we like to post art for this story there.<br/>https://epicaandk-creative.tumblr.com/ / https://epicaandk0.tumblr.com/ ||| https://icy-roulette.tumblr.com/ / https://prince-aster.tumblr.com/</p><p>We plan to update this every Saturday. If not, then Friday at the earliest and Sunday at the latest to account for life.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. How I Wonder What You Are</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>"Like the apex predator he was, Benrey wanted to "hunt" the borrower on his own: no skeletons, no traps, just him. All he needed was patience, alertness, and... the most foreign word to a Griillii... hospitality. "</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>We're posting another chapter early because y'ALL ARE TOO NICE QoQ</p>
<p>made a meme for chapter 1 long ago and now I get to share it with y'all hjfsdk<br/>https://prince-aster.tumblr.com/post/629834703594291200/this-is-basically-how-chapter-one-went</p>
<p>Epic also has a reference for her design of borrower!Gordon :0<br/>https://epicaandk0.tumblr.com/post/629834862980890624</p>
<p>Then more art by me owo<br/>https://prince-aster.tumblr.com/post/629818687801769986/me-when-i-fucking-get-you-been-super-hardcore</p>
<p>again, we'll try to link art we've made that's relevant to the chapters being posted</p>
<p>----</p>
<p>Sweet voice translations:</p>
<p>Dirty green - the taste is mean<br/>Electric Blue - I will protect you<br/>Blue - calm down</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The borrower had moved the chocolate. But one candy bar did not change the fact that his food supplies were dwindling. He waited till night before he left his home again. The human should be asleep on the couch, or at the very least distracted by a game, either works. So long as he wasn't looking for him it was fine.</p>
<p>He crept out of the bedroom and over to the kitchen. It was dark, so the borrower was relying a bit more on his sense of hearing and touch to navigate the house. He could still see, just not as well as before. He got out his hook and tossed it. A grin grew on his face when it hooked on the edge of the counter. "Perfect!" He whispers. He then began to climb up said counter; leftover crumbs here he comes!!! </p>
<p>Once on the counter, he freed his hook and rolled it back up before tucking it into his bag. Using what little vision he had, he quickly works on gathering crumbs. YES! Food! He nearly jumped for joy. His tail wagged happily as he gathered the crumbs and put them in his bag, eating one or two as he went along. He was so happy, he didn't notice his wagging tail swing a little too close to an empty can of mountain dew. It hit the can, knocking it off the counter.</p>
<p>Gordon flinched and tensed at the sound of it clattering on the ground.</p>
<p>Oh.</p>
<p>
  <em> Oh no. </em>
</p>
<p>Ever since that fateful day, the nights have been calm and silent. Benrey wanted to at least give the borrower that, plus it would be a great time to potentially get a chance to talk to them. The skeletons had long since discovered the spot the tiny person lived, but the Griillii did absolutely nothing about it. That'd be really uncool of him, he figured, to just, invade privacy like that? </p>
<p>Like the apex predator he was, Benrey wanted to "hunt" the borrower on his own: no skeletons, no traps, just him. All he needed was patience, alertness, and... the most foreign word to a Griillii... <em> hospitality </em>. </p>
<p>When the delicate silence shattered into shards via soda can, Benrey slowly sat up quietly from the couch, eyes fixating sharply on where the sound came from. </p>
<p>
  <em> ‘Little mousy man tryna get a snack, huh?’  </em>
</p>
<p>He figured, rising from the couch and stealthily stalking his way into the kitchen. </p>
<p>Just wait... and watch.</p>
<p>Gordon stood mostly still. His ears were up and his tail did small flicks of movement behind him. He was listening. If the bean woke up because of the can he would need to find a hiding spot, and fast. His ear twitched a little when he heard the couch creak, either the bean shifted in its sleep, as he'd seen them do, or it had gotten up. Shit.</p>
<p>Finding a hiding spot in low light would not be the easiest task, especially given he had extremely limited time. For the bean, it was not a long walk to the kitchen from the couch. He was glad humans didn't have good eyesight in the dark, otherwise he might have already been spotted. Standing on the counters out in the open to collect crumbs was not Gordon’s smartest move.</p>
<p>Whatever, he didn't have time for this. He pulls out his hook again and finds the quickest hiding spot. On the counter next to him was a large teapot with its lid half off. Perfect. He threw his hook up and it caught onto the rim of the pot. Quickly he pulled himself up and dropped into the teapot, pulling his hook in with him. Once inside he shifts so that he wasn't directly under the opening and starts to roll the string for his hook back up.</p>
<p>Now all he had to do was wait.</p>
<p>A heavy pressure began to weigh in the air, looming over the kitchen. The lights never came on. Benrey had most definitely caught a glimpse of the borrower when he stood, his height providing an advantage to seeing into the kitchen. He had to go about this carefully. </p>
<p>Gordon felt the sudden heavy pressure as dread filled his senses, his ears lowering in response. His hands moved, now nervously holding his tail. He moves his back against the wall of the teapot. What the fuck? Why did the air feel heavy? What was this? It’s... it’s probably nothing, or at least that's what Gordon tried to tell himself; he was just nervous, that's all. It um... it was really quiet. Maybe the bean hadn't gotten up? Maybe he was just overreacting?</p>
<p>The weight in Benrey’s steps was null, lifting his weight at the expense of making the atmosphere grow dread filled and heavy. Benrey had been daydreaming about the next time he got to see the cutie and held a small bag of trail mix in his pockets. If only Ghetsis could see him now... He could never live down the teasing the god would give him (akin to a teasing a parent gives when they support you and your crush). </p>
<p>
  <em> ‘Gayass cringe god.’ </em>
</p>
<p>In the teapot, a small clear plastic bag - containing: a raisin, a peanut, a sunflower seed, and a dried cranberry - fell into the pot out of nowhere.</p>
<p>Before Gordon could do anything with his thoughts, something fell into the pot with him. He nearly screamed in surprise but managed to keep it to just a whimper of fear. His grip on his tail tightened as he stared at the bag. </p>
<p>What. </p>
<p>The. </p>
<p>Fuck???</p>
<p>It... it had to be a trap. But that would mean the bean already knew he was in here. Shit. He kind of backed himself into a corner now. He didn't dare move while listening. He couldn't hear the bean outside, how did something that big sneak up on him???</p>
<p>Benrey’s own hearing picked up the tiny whimper that echoed out of the spout, the scent of fear falling on his senses once more. An open space next to the teapot caught Benrey's eyes as the perfect seat. The Griillii’s body slid up and onto the counter, taking a seat next to the tea pot and chilling. Legs swung idly, miraculously not hitting the cabinets by accident. </p>
<p>"Brooo..." Benrey caught himself off guard by speaking so softly. "come out, please?"</p>
<p>Gordon tenses when he heard it speak. Yeah it definitely knew he was here. The bean’s tone of voice surprised him though, he expected something far darker, angrier. Something malicious and hinting towards his inevitable death at their hands. He didn't expect... that.</p>
<p>"W-why should I?!" He asked defensively. Normally he would have never considered talking to a bean, but now he was stuck in a corner... or... well, stuck in a teapot. Same difference! He wasn't going to just blindly walk out and risk getting captured, or eaten, or captured and experimented on, or captured and eaten, or any other horrific thing the bean could do to him! He didn't want to die.</p>
<p>Benrey looked upwards in thought for a moment. He did have a point. </p>
<p>"To uh… chill? Hang out? Just ya know… vibe."</p>
<p>He just wanted to see his face again, feel those new feelings again, and make his tail move in happiness rather than the one time he saw it move in fear. The fear from the borrower was bitter-sweet and somehow managed to make him cuter in the Griillii's eyes. Shit, he was gay.</p>
<p>The borrower’s tail twitched nervously as he listened, he really, really didn't want to get out of the supposed safety of this tea pot. It had to be better in here than out there, right? Probably. He pushed off the wall of the tea pot and creeped over to the bag of trail mix. Curiously, he shifted the bag and looked it over. It was food, and it wasn't stale crumbs. But... Why would a bean give him this?</p>
<p>"A-are you trying to trick me? Cause it won't work!" Despite his fear he tried to keep his voice stern. This was a human, not a dog, so he didn't need to worry about it smelling his fear or anything. He could fake his confidence and the other wouldn't know any better!</p>
<p>"Trick you?  I dunno what there is to trick, dude. I mean honestly, what's uhhh… what's stopping big ole Benrey from just," </p>
<p>A large hand wrapped around the handle of the pot and lifted it up to Benrey's face. Glowing yellow eyes peered into the pot when he removed the lid, casting a soft light over the borrower's body. </p>
<p>"Gettin' ya myself?" The giant genuinely challenged.</p>
<p>Gordon flinched and stumbled when the pot was lifted "sh-shit!" He ended up falling and landing on his ass. Nice work, Gordon. </p>
<p>His head snapped up when the lid was removed. His ears perked up before slowly falling and pressing flat against his head as he made eye contact. His green and brown eyes stared into the much larger and piercing yellow ones. Yup. Still did not look human. But it had to be human??? Whatever. He'd question what it was when it wasn't about to kill him.</p>
<p>He was terrified. His form shaking under the gaze of the larger entity. There really wasn't much Gordon could do about the human-thing grabbing him if it wanted. His tail curled around himself defensively at the realization. He began thinking over the items he had in his bag for in case the human made a grab for him. He had his hook, a small jar, a knife he made from scraps he had collected, his journal that he sewed together himself, the broken tip of a pencil so he could write, and some extra string.</p>
<p>"Y-y-you wouldn't dare!" He challenged back, trying to hide his fear.</p>
<p>If Benrey had a tail, it would be swishing playfully like a cat playing with its prey. The defensive words struck a chord in his Griillii instincts, deviousness bubbling up in his soul. </p>
<p>"Mmm a game of truth or dare, huh?" Benrey's eyes became half-lidded. </p>
<p>Challenged in his own home by his crush? So fucking gay. </p>
<p>"Ha-ha, bet. D-dare you to not be such a-- such a scaredy-mouse. You totally reek of fear." </p>
<p>That sentence disproved the borrower's earlier musings - the "human" could smell fear.</p>
<p>That sentence sent a shiver down Gordon's spine, this was no bean. Whatever it was it wasn't human. He should have figured it out earlier: the claws, occasionally having multiple eyes, all of it pointed to something being wrong. Gordon denied it, and now look where he was. He was going to die in the clutches of whatever the fuck was in front of him.</p>
<p>He... he didn't want to play a fucking game, his only thoughts now were on getting home. He swore to himself if he got out of this alive, he'd move into another room in the apartment complex. Moving into this apartment was clearly a fucking mistake.</p>
<p>He found himself at a loss for words, his mind scrambling between trying to figure out what was in front of him, plans on for when he escapes, and actually formulating some sort of escape plan. The fear was most definitely getting to him though, he felt tears beginning to prick at his eyes. Quickly he tries to blink them away, not now.</p>
<p>Benrey waited patiently for a few beats for the small man to react further, he wanted more banter. More spice. His face pulled away from the entrance. Guess he better enact his part of the dare. </p>
<p>Gordon’s ears raised a little when the head pulled out of view, maybe it had gotten bored and would leave him alone? Please??</p>
<p>Nope; a clawed hand replaced the face. Large hand plus tiny pot didn't equal immediate grace: Benrey could only manage to fit his thumb, pointer, and middle finger in. </p>
<p>A finger pressed lightly against Gordon's stomach and flinched some before resuming its attempt to wrap around the borrower. </p>
<p><em> ‘Ghetsis, he's so soft, so warm, delicate…’ </em> A breath hitched in the Griillii’s throat.</p>
<p>The borrower was not proud of the scream that escaped him when the fingers reached into the pot. He struggles when they pressed lightly into his stomach, "nonononono!" </p>
<p>He flinched when they wrapped around him, quickly reaching into his bag and pulling out the shiv he had made for himself. With frantic fervor, he dug it into the nearest finger, "LET GO ASSHOLE!"</p>
<p>The fingers released more-so in shock than pain, retreating from Gordon but not leaving the pot. An otherworldly hiss was heard, and the air shifted some. Suddenly a small glowing eye opened near where the shiv dug into the grey flesh, black ichor dribbling from the wound. The eye looked up at the shiv, pupil blown wide, and then looked at the petrified assailant. </p>
<p>"Yooo not cool, dude. Take… take me out to dinner first, at least. Damn. Don’t even know your name yet. Epic fail." Benrey tsk'd, seeming to be more flattered than anything; the only hint of anger being more so annoyance than rage.</p>
<p>The shift in the air and hiss made Gordon shiver in fear. He watched in horror as an eye appeared on the finger, inspecting the small amount of damage he had inflicted. He didn't like this, not its tone, not its behavior, nothing. </p>
<p>Gordon pushed himself away from the creature, and backed up until his hand hit the wall of the pot. Fuck. Fuckfuckfuckfuck! He needed to get out of here. He glanced around the pot - now a prison - for any other escape route. He was too big to use the spout and the only other exit was being blocked by the hand. He felt the tears that pricked at his eyes begin rolling down his cheeks.</p>
<p>"F-fuck off!"</p>
<p>The eye's pupil narrowed to a slit with a fixed piercing gaze. It locked onto the tears that cascaded down the other man's face; Benrey's heart sunk at the sight. He loved the mild scent of fear from playfully startling the dude, however, this new scent was just tragic. The eye gave a panicked look itself before it closed, disappearing from sight.</p>
<p>Dirty green sweet voice leaked out of his mouth in distaste towards the smell. Tears were not in the plan. The Griillii had to think fast. He pulled the spout of the teapot up to his mouth and wrapped his lips around it like one would a pipe. A stream of blue sweet voice was blown gently into the pot, the bits of it that had condensed dripped onto the floor while the orbs filled a good bit of the small space. In the chaos, the fingers wrapped themselves around Gordon, careful not to be rough or scare him further. </p>
<p>"Bro, please don't cry. Calm down... please?" Benrey pleaded softly, worry lacing his voice as he lifted the borrower out of the pot.</p>
<p>Gordon had watched as strange blue orbs and liquid began to fill the pot. He was going to flinch in fear again, try and move away, but he instead suddenly felt... calm. His tears slowed, before stopping.</p>
<p>Gordon felt himself relax. The odd orbs were... kind of beautiful. The colors and effect distracted Gordon long enough so the fingers could wrap around him. His ears no longer dropped, and his tail untucked itself from his legs. He flinched a little when lifted though, not expecting the sudden action. Still, for the moment he felt relaxed enough to not be afraid and to not cry.</p>
<p>His eyes flickered away from the orbs to look up at Benrey. He was still scared and confused, but he also felt calm, for the moment anyway. He shifted a little in the grasp of the clawed hand. "W.... what?"</p>
<p>Those weird new emotions came flooding back while Benrey held the borrower. They burned at his mind and chest, his cheeks flushing in the darkness. Thankfully, but tragically unfortunate, the only things that stood out in the dark was the glow of his yellow sclerae and sharp teeth; mouth agape with that lovestruck stare, while the glow of blue sweet voice stained his lips. </p>
<p>"I said calm down... chill. You’re fine." </p>
<p>Hesitantly, Benrey's other hand lifted up behind Gordon, allowing for a finger to gently feel the top of the borrower's head. </p>
<p>Gordon watched in horror as the other hand approached his head, a whimper escaping him as he squirms in the giant's grasp. </p>
<p>"D-don't--!" He squeezed his eyes shut. </p>
<p>He expected to be crushed between the two hands. He expected to become a fine red paste, a stain on the creature’s grey skin. Tears had pricked his eyes, threatening to burst as he imagined his horrific death. Horrific, painful, messy.</p>
<p>But, that never came. He felt the hand start to rub his head and he felt confused. His ears moved back to their usual position and his tail flicked nervously, or at least, it did as much as it could in the creature’s grasp. His green and brown eyes looked up at the hand, before landing on Benrey. He remained quiet for a moment, afraid to break the silence.</p>
<p>
  <em> ‘He's so small... n soft... I could break him so easy... I... I need to--’  </em>
</p>
<p>A small bit of electric blue sweet voice completed his thoughts. Why did he feel this way towards a complete stranger??? It felt as if Bikriin herself were playing some joke-- some "it's just a prank bruh" on the Griillii... but wait.... she never jokes when it comes to these feelings. </p>
<p>Benrey's face burned as his multitude of eyes stared down at the tiny man being held in just his right hand - the man he had also been... petting. </p>
<p>How long had he been staring and petting unconsciously??? Shit.</p>
<p>"W-what are y-y-you doing?" Gordon stammered.</p>
<p>
  <span>It would be a lie to say he wasn't scared, no use hiding it. This thing, whatever it was, had claws and teeth designed to tear shit apart, its multiple eyes were intimidating as all hell. It looked like something out of a fucking nightmare.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>All the aforementioned eyes blinked stupidly, Benrey's mind coming back down to Earth. He stopped the petting with one last stroke and withdrew his hand. The extra eyes closed, leaving just two.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Whuh?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The borrower shivers as he watches all the extra eyes just... vanish. What the fuck? Okay, didn't like that. No thank you.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I-I asked what the f-fuck are you doing!" He tried not to stutter, to harden his tone and prove he was serious. "Are you g-gonna fucking eat me?!" He'd been told all sorts of horror stories involving humans, and the thing that held him was definitely scarier than a human. Did it eat borrowers? Is that why he had never heard of it before?? Had it found others like him and killed them too???</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Just thinking about it makes him sick. Gordon was shaking in the other’s grasp, his ears slowly falling again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Benrey mulled over the question, and it hit him that he probably looks absolutely horrific right now, especially in the dark. He needed to change that fast if he was gonna try and make a friend.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Thinking fast, a tendril of himself split off from his leg and slithered to the light adjuster. Can't have lights turn on instantly when you have super sensitive eyes. Ever so slowly the darkness lifted, giving the borrower a better look at the thing holding him. Hopefully, it would be less intimidating.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Eat... you? Like...? Uhh full on munchy mode? Need-a-snickers hungry?" </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you to the beta readers from the previous chapter for proofreading and yourbesttrashcan for allowing use of his comic's lore. </p>
<p>And a huge ass thanks for all the nice comments !! If we could afford to upload daily, we would, but alas, we must stick to the weekly scheduled program. &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Up Above The World So High</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>""What do you want from me??" He didn't want to imagine what cruel things the entity had in mind for him now that he'd been caught. Once again, he had grown up on stories about beans crushing, eating, and terrorizing borrower kind. Those stories taught him the important rules that borrowers lived by. Yet Gordon decided he didn't need others or their rules, and left. Now here he was. Dammit, what he wouldn't do to see his family again. He would probably die here, and no one would remember him."</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>For some reason, the endnotes are funky and put the notes for chapter 1 on chapter 2??? At least for me it did... I don't know how to fix it. Oops.<br/>Anyways! The lads be having a conversation this chapter. Yeehaw. </p><p>----------<br/>Sweet Voice translations:<br/>Yellow to Azure - you are safe and secure<br/>Bright Orange to Light Blue - it's a delight to be with you<br/>Electric Blue - I will protect you<br/>Yellow to Blue - I didn't mean to upset you<br/>Blush - I have a crush<br/>Blue to Red - rest your head, it's time for bed</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Benrey was baffled that he would be accused of such a thing, but it wasn't out of the realm of possibility. The dude was tiny, so it was understandable that it could be a genuine fear.</p><p>Gordon glanced around when the lights slowly turned on. His eyes landing and staring at the dark tendril for a while, yeah, okay, that wasn't normal.</p><p>When he looked away from the tendril and at Benrey things didn't look any more normal. He was still trapped in a clawed hand, the alien looked a bit more human, now that he could see more than his eyes and teeth, but he was still freaky. Gordon wanted to smack himself. He chose to move into this apartment because of all the stuff laying around, he chose to ignore the weird skin tone and warning signs. </p><p>Never making that mistake again. </p><p>He frowns more, his ears pressed against his head when Benrey spoke. It hasn't denied it, does... does that mean it would eat him? "Y-yes?" Fuck he needed to think up something, "I.... I d-don’t taste very good, trust m-me. You don't wanna e-eat me!"</p><p>Benrey smirked at the pleas the borrower was making. It amused him to think that this dude was unaware of how food was truly handled around here. Then again no one else, except maybe Tommy, knew of his eating habits. </p><p>"Sounds pretty wack. But like, I don't need to eat, even-- even then uh," </p><p>The hand lifted the borrower higher up to eye-level, so he wasn't staring down at the dude. His eyes were half-lidded as he got a better look. </p><p>"Even if I had actually wanted to eat you, then uhh, you'd be game over already. Gone. Bye-bye tiny man. Don't think we'd be chit-chattin' here, ya know?"</p><p>Gordon whimpers when the hand moves, looking into the eyes of the creature once more. He squirms a little in response, fear still running through him.</p><p>"What do you want from me??" He didn't want to imagine what cruel things the entity had in mind for him now that he'd been caught. Once again, he had grown up on stories about beans crushing, eating, and terrorizing borrower kind. Those stories taught him the important rules that borrowers lived by. Yet Gordon decided he didn't need others, or their rules, and left. Now here he was. Dammit what he wouldn't do to see his family again. He would probably die here, and no one would remember him.</p><p>Benrey's expression faltered, he was taken off guard from the honest question. What did he want from the little dude? </p><p>"Uhh... I dunno entirely? See you always running around, scared n hungry n shit. And I-- I figured I could maybe help a bro out? Become friends?" The anomaly shrugged, eyes glancing away from the tiny man's gaze.</p><p>Gordon paused at that. That... that couldn't be right. Beans and borrowers couldn't be friends. Beans were monsters, predators, and borrowers were prey. His brows furrowed in thought. His tail stopped moving as he focused.</p><p>"I-I already told you, tricking me won't work! If you're gonna k-kill me, just get it over with!"</p><p>The small bag of trail mix was now being held in Benrey's left hand. Benrey blinked and shifted his right hand to allow the borrower to be gently cupped, rather than held, by his clawed fingers. Be shitty if he accidentally nicked the person he was currently trying to gain the trust of. </p><p>"Silly mouse-man, trix are for kids." Benrey facetiously joked with a snicker. </p><p>The Griillii lowered himself to sit on the floor, positioning himself to give the borrower the most freedom: the open palm allowed the man to not feel crushed, while the changed elevation lowered the chances of the mouse-man hurting himself should he freak out too much and just jump the gun. </p><p>The trail mix from the teapot was placed on Gordon's lap.</p><p>Gordon paused when Benrey spoke, growing more confused by what was being said. He didn't understand. He... He should be dead! Don't get him wrong he was happy to be alive, but that's not how this works! He should be dead, or trapped in a lab, or something!</p><p>His tail twitched as he looked down at the bag on his lap, frowning at it. He was hungry. But he still did not trust the bean. Despite this he sighed and opened the bag with his small hands, his stomach decided it was time to eat and who was he to deny it. He'd been eating nothing but small crumbs for days, and sometimes felt too afraid to leave his home and eat. </p><p>That was a mistake.</p><p>He hesitantly pulled out the dried cranberry, holding it in both hands. His tail wags happily at the thought of eating, but his eyes flickered between the cranberry and the grey skinned entity before him. </p><p>"... s... so you’re not fucking with me?"</p><p>Benrey shook his head, eyes closing until he stopped the motion. In Griillii culture this would be super fucking obvious flirting and a huge sign of "I care this", however, like with the humans here, he didn't expect the little borrower to know the ins and outs of eldritch friendship or romance. </p><p>"No siiiirrr. wouldn't have uh, given you those Kit-Kats or that mix there if I was." </p><p>For once he sounded genuine; it surprised him too, but maybe it would help ease the other’s tension. Maybe that's why the string of orbs flew out of his mouth so easily - starting with yellow and ending in a shade of azure.</p><p>Gordon hesitated once more before starting to eat the dried cranberry. He still didn't trust the other, but his hunger made him desperate for something. Let's hope it didn't kill him.</p><p>Some of his worries wash away once food enters his mouth. His wagging tail increased in speed as he actually ate, his ears even perked up. Fuck. It was so good to have something that wasn't stale! He couldn't hide his happiness.</p><p>Benrey couldn't help but watch with intense fondness. Seeing the borrower eat the food he had gotten for him erupted a sense of pride and giddiness in the Griillii. And oh, Ghetsis there was that happy tail again - super mega ultimate poggers. His pupils were blown wide as he felt a blush creeping on. </p><p>His own voice broke the stare, allowing his eyes to gaze down at the floor. </p><p>"So uh... have a name? A gamertag?"</p><p>Gordon didn't notice Benrey watching him, more so focused on eating. He did perk up when Benrey spoke.</p><p>He wipes some crumbs off his mouth and nods. "It’s um... it's Gordon. Gordon Freeman." Giving his name to the monster probably wasn't the best idea but.... He did give him food.</p><p>"Um... w-what’s your name?"</p><p>"Benrey." The Griillii stated flatly, eyes returning to be brave and make eye contact. </p><p>Gordon Freeman... Gordos Feetman... Gordon Mouseman... </p><p>Gordon. </p><p>No fucking way this dude had a cute name to pair with his cute ears, cute tail, handsome face. It was tradition on Ameanria for really exceptional people to be named after the ancient Shaden prince, prince Borden - any name that ended with "ordon" or "orden" spoke volumes of what type of person you were and were destined to become. Receiving a name like that required special permission from oracles; a special intervention from priests was required if anyone were to be named "Borden/Bordon". Such is fate that Benrey comes to encounter a non-human non-Ameanrian named G-ordon.</p><p>"That's uh... got a really nice name, mouseman."</p><p>The borrower soon finished the cranberry. Benrey wasn't a name he heard before, he might have once heard a human be called Barney, but never Benrey. Odd. </p><p>With the cranberry done he glanced up at the creature once more, his tail was no longer wagging, but it still swayed back and forth; his ears also returned to a more neutral position. </p><p>He frowns "I'm not a mouse. I'm a borrower."</p><p>The giant's head tilts in curiosity. </p><p>"Oh? What are those about? Think I’ve heard of borrowers from browsing Netflix or-- or something, but thought it was just a part of, uhh human fiction." He admitted.</p><p>Gordon blinks twice, "H... humans have documentation of us!?" He was more so speaking to himself than the bean. </p><p>He paused, before looking up at Benrey. "Well, borrowers are... well... what I am. They’re supposed to stay in groups and stay hidden but... I guess I'm... I'm not a very good borrower."</p><p>He lacked a group and now he lacked the ability to hide away. Now he sat in a creature’s hand, waiting to be let go or crushed. He ran a hand through his messy hair as his tail finally grew still.</p><p>Griilliis were the complete opposite, Benrey thought, choosing to be selfish loners, isolating themselves, and acting completely hostile to anyone who dared get close - if they did get close, it was miserable for the other. Yet here he was, being selfless, seeking companionship, and - by Bikriin - acting soft to the one-person brave enough to enter his domain.</p><p>"I'm sure you're an excellent borrower, man. You're out here… uhh, by yourself, having evaded my senses like some pro-strat Hitman, Assassin's Creed player." </p><p>Benrey pointed out.</p><p>"I-I mean shit, you're probably the first borrower to encounter a Griillii. Wait- wait, oh yeah, you are..." he was beginning to ramble a bit. "Anyways, if anything, uhh I'm an epic fail for a Griillii, not that I'm complaining, but… yeah. Think that you're.... pretty epic." The anomaly's words seemed more scattered the more he spiraled to the compliment.</p><p>Gordon listens as he speaks. "Well, I didn't completely avoid your, um senses..."</p><p>"That would make you godly, super mega expert hardcore mode, if you never got found." Benrey beamed with a toothy smile. </p><p>Griillii? That's a word Gordon had never heard before. It was kind of cool to be the first borrower to meet a... a Griillii, but he wasn't sure what to do about being the first. He's never talked to a bean, and now to be expected to document an entire new race and find young borrowers to teach it to. That's... that's a lot of work! Assuming he makes it out of this alive, that is.</p><p>"What's a... a Griillii?" He tilts his head; his curiosity and excitement mix together. Allowing his tail to resume its wagging. His ears were also perked up and attentive.</p><p>"Well shit, where to fuckin begin." he hummed, left hand tapping claws on the tile floor idly. </p><p>"For starters, I'm from a totally different planet than this little rock. Homeworld is called Ameanria. It's one of the oldest planets in this galaxy. Basically, uhhh my creator, one of the first gods that emerged when this whole shebang started, wanted to make chaotic forms of life, creatures to inhabit the new planet. Funny enough, he was completely unprepared for the shit that started to go down: the creatures were ravenous, dangerous, and astronomically detrimental to the whole ass planet, so he got a chicken hat on, made some new gods to clean his shit stained planet. In the end, the creatures he made got shooed off into space to do as they please and uh yeah."</p><p>Benrey paused for a moment, hoping he wasn't overwhelming Gordon with the sudden info dump - this was just the bare TLDR... Though before concluding he figured he needed to clarify what differentiated him from other Griilliis. </p><p>"I was, uhh, made near Ameanria by a stubborn ass Griillii… he wasn’t cool, like at all... no chill... Ate him easily. That was a good thing, apparently?  Cause then Ghetsis said ‘’wow poggers benny boi, you’re welcome on Ameanria if u be good.’’so I was like fuck yeah okay. Dicked around on the planet for a long while and then just left. Now I'm here on Earth by myself living the gamer’s life.”</p><p>Gordon was amazed by all the sudden information, he vaguely knew about other planets and space, but not much. So, to hear that this... that Benrey was from another world blew the borrower’s mind. Without thinking he opened his bag and got out his journal and piece of lead. He began to take notes on what Benrey was saying.</p><p>His tail wags faster as he took his notes, a big old smile on his face as he did so. He found it fascinating, really. Most borrowers didn't care about how or why most things worked, they just cared if it was functional enough to utilize so they could continue to survive. Gordon wasn't like that. He was too curious. He wanted to learn, to understand! The world was already so big - imagining how big space must be made him feel dizzy.</p><p>"Why did you come to Earth? Oh! That makes you an alien!! Right? I watched a human film once that had featured some aliens!!! Well, I more so overheard it - a human fell asleep watching it as I scavenged." He was rambling, clearly excited to be learning and talking to someone. </p><p>He missed conversation a lot more than he thought he would.</p><p>Benrey had the biggest smile on his face from observing Gordon's. It was infectious as hell. He listened to the man's inquiries and experiences intently.</p><p>He could practically feel the sweet voice at the back of his throat. Since they were having an information jam, he let himself sing freely: the colors went from bright orange to a light blue, coming out as bubbles that danced around the borrower. </p><p>Gordon’s rambling stopped at the sight of the sweet voice; his eyes filled with wonders as he watched the colored orbs. Now that he wasn't cornered in a teapot, he could fully admire the sweet voice. </p><p>He reached out two hands to catch a small orb of sweet voice. He curiously brought it closer to himself and looked it over, "woah..."</p><p>"Pretty poggers, right? It's one of my uhh, alien things." Benrey chirped. </p><p>"But yeah, Earth is pretty epic. I sort of came here by accident trying to go far far far from another cringe ass Griillii, and this solar system and nearby systems seemed pretty vacant. Thankfully, this planet had sentient life by the time I arrived. Came for the escape, stayed for the entertainment and chaos. 10/10 IGN."</p><p>Gordon’s gaze then turned up to Benrey. "So you like it on earth? How long have you been here?" He tilts his head to the side.</p><p>It takes a few moments for Benrey to think about it. Time usually meant nothing to him, just living life "day to day" so to speak. Though he was immortal, and probably old, it came at the price of not retaining too much information; however, the time he came to Earth was probably a memorable moment. </p><p>"So we're in the start of this culture's 21st century, yeah? Then, uhh… that would probably beee," he squinted at the air as he tried to do basic math in his head. "Like 600 years?"</p><p>That's what his brain told him, anyways. </p><p>"I don’t know, man. I-I wouldn't think on it too hard."</p><p>The borrower blinks and perks up a little "Woah!" Gordon didn't expect 600 hundred years. That's a long time to be alive.</p><p>"... you’ve spent 600 years on Earth and never met another borrower till now?" He was curious. He couldn't actually be the first, right? There had to be another, or someone before him, or something.</p><p>"Nope. Then again, I only started living in human homes about a few years ago." </p><p>Benrey stated, gesturing to the apartment around them. </p><p>"Moved here after I left a research facility in New Mexico. Lived there for about uhh 70 years till I got sick of playing 'test subject' / 'security guard'. Cringe ass dissections got redundant, though it was fun changing my anatomy to fuck with them."  The Griillii grinned at the memory of the scientists' expressions when they would "open him up" only to be dumbfounded.</p><p>Gordon paused before nodding; most borrowers would avoid a research facility like the plague. They tended to be large, empty, and lacking in almost all basic supplies. </p><p>His tail wagging slowed when Benrey mentioned being a test subject. Being torn apart or tested on was something Gordon feared, a lot. "That... that must have been awful..." He moves his tail into his hands to nervously fiddle with it. "No one should be a... a 'test subject'."</p><p>The impish grin fell seeing the borrower grow tense. Was... was he showing... concern? It smelled like fear, but it was more… pleasant. Though, the fear remained as a subtle undertone to Gordon's words... He was scared for both of them?</p><p>That didn't make sense to Benrey. He just explained that he enjoyed it... maybe... and this mega cute handsome dude in his hand just gave a minute shit about him. </p><p>Benrey, the gayass, smiled sadly. </p><p>"Y-you’re so right, man. But-- but hey... Don't stress too much, we're both here now n stuffs."</p><p>Gordon closed his journal before putting both the book and a small bit of lead back into his bag. For as curious as he was he also didn't want to offend the other in some way. He glanced to the side and he nods.</p><p>"Yeah... I've never been experimented on. But as a kid I was told stories about... about 'research labs'. At first they don't sound so bad! I mean, a place to learn and gain knowledge, fascinating. But... but then they teach you what happens there. The... the dissections, the experiments, all the awful things they'd do to you if... if they caught you."</p><p>His eyes flickered back up at Benrey at the end. He still sat in their hand, they were still nervous of course, it would not be hard for Benrey to crush him. "You’re not... gonna do anything like that? ... right?"</p><p>"It would be uhh..  pretty fucking cringe of me if I did." </p><p>The Griillii admitted more casually than what he truly felt. Inwardly, Benrey shuddered at the horrid image, and even some anger bubbled within at the thought of someone else doing such a thing to Gordon. </p><p>The claws on his hand sharpened some, and were thankfully not pointed towards the borrower, while eyes opened on the back of his head - redirected from the face to not scare Gordon nor reveal the emotions they were elicited from. In tandem, a couple orbs of electric blue sweet voice were sent Gordon's way. </p><p>To distract from the topic, Benrey glanced at the food bag. </p><p>"Hey you uhh... you thirsty? Little thirsty man?" </p><p>Water was just as important to Griilliis as it was to life on Earth. Benrey had learned that from spending time with Tommy years ago; the human would occasionally gorge himself on a bag of trail mix, and then be in dire need of some water. Curious, Benrey had inquired and he was excitably given a huge information dump on human homeostasis when he had only asked why Tommy claimed to be "thirsty" and in "need of water". Tommy was great, especially when he gushed about topics -- he should give him a call sometime.</p><p>The borrower watched the electric blue orbs float past him, his eyes curiously following the glowing blue orb. He reached a small hand out to touch one, wanting to understand what it was.</p><p>He pulled his hand away from it to acknowledge Benrey when he spoke. Responding to the question, he reaches into his bag and pulls out a jar; it was decently sized for him, but would probably be really tiny to Benrey. The jar was empty, causing Gordon to frown. Fuck, he had completely forgotten he needed water too. His tail twitched before he glanced up at Benrey.</p><p>"Yeah, I am." He blinks before adding on, "don't... don't call me that." He never wanted to be referred to as a 'little thirsty man' again.</p><p>A smirk plastered itself on Benrey's face, "Yes siiiirrr." He slurred out playfully. The hand holding Gordon cupped the borrower a bit further, fingers curling up protectively to keep stability. Then Benrey started to get up from his seat on the floor, rising to his full height and holding the other at chest level. Eyes glanced over Gordon's body to see if he was okay as he took a few steps to reach the kitchen sink.</p><p>Gordon glanced at the hand nervously when the fingers moved closer to him, his tail swayed nervously. Yeah, those claws didn't look any better up close.</p><p>His ears perked up when Benrey stood up, one of Gordon's small hands reached out and grabbed onto one of the fingers. Just to make sure. His other hand securely held the jar close to his chest. The last thing he needed was to fall off or be dropped; the same went for his water jar. </p><p>Said small hand didn't release the finger once Benrey was up, he still didn't want to risk it. He didn't trust Benrey not to accidentally drop him. His tail continues to sway nervously. Gordon didn't have a fear of heights, but he did have a fear of being crushed, eaten, impaled, and of course, dropped. He did loosen his grip on his jar though, no longer holding it in a nervous death grip.</p><p>The swishing tail tickled at Benrey's palm, causing him to hold in a small chuckle. Okay, phew, the borrower didn't look too rattled, but still seemed nervous. Maybe freeing him further would help edge off the nerves. </p><p>Stupidly, Benrey's free hand came up without warning and wrapped 3 fingers around Gordon, lifting him off the palm and then placing him on the counter. </p><p>Gordon flinched when the fingers curled around him and lifted him up.  He was too shocked to say anything at first but instinctively struggled in the hold. He quickly stumbled away when he was put down, the jar managing to slip out of his hand and onto the counter. It rolled a little way before coming to stop. </p><p>Gordon was shaking, adrenaline running through his system. His ears perked up and his tail gave agitated flicks. It took him a moment process what the fuck just happened. He had seen his life flash before his eyes as he thought over everything that had occurred. He then quickly turned to face Benrey.</p><p>"Think the stream from the tap would, uh, be too much-- be sucky for you to get wet." </p><p>Benrey stated while turning his attention away from the borrower to rummage through items on the counter; he didn’t notice the aftermath of his seemingly harmless action.</p><p>"D-Dude! Don't... don't fucking scare me like that!" Gordon’s ears fell from their perked position, "I-I thought you were gonna crush me or some shit!"</p><p>Benrey lifted his head from his searching when he found the item he'd sought after: it was a plastic green bottle cap that once belonged to a 2-liter Mountain Dew. Hellz yeah! He heard Gordon yelling some and redirected his attention to the borrower. </p><p>He looked... mad? </p><p>The Griillii blinked at him.</p><p>"Huh? Wh-what's up?" </p><p>He quizzed, stepping back to the sink with the cap held between his thumb and index finger.</p><p>Looking closer at his fingers, Benrey noticed the miniature shiv still embedded in his flesh from earlier. </p><p>"Ohh shit, you want this back?" </p><p>Thinking that's what Gordon was yelling at him for, he effortlessly plucked the weapon out of his flesh like pulling a small thorn. He placed the black-ooze-stained blade in front of the irate borrower, thinking all was well.</p><p>"What do you mean 'what's up'?! You can't just--" he was cut off by the blade being placed in front of him. He stumbled back from the clawed hand and stared at the ooze covered shiv. What the fuck?!</p><p>His ears pressed against his head as worry filled his stomach. That most definitely wasn't normal. But then again not much of the bean seemed normal. He was a Griillii, or at least he thinks that's the name.</p><p>He nudged the handle of the blade with a bare foot, yeah, that needed to be cleaned.</p><p>He then remembered why he was so jumpy in the first place. Right. Yeah. “Benrey! Your... your name was Benrey right? Listen dude, you can't... you can't just fucking grab people!"</p><p>Another challenge? If this dude didn't stop the Griillii would just have to kiss him right then and there. </p><p>"Uhh… yeah I can? it's so easy- like- watch--" </p><p>"NONONONONO--!" The borrower had attempted to stumble back and away from Benrey, but he wasn't fast enough.</p><p>Once more, Benrey's fingers reached for Gordon, lightly pinching the back of the orange-scarfed tunic and then hoisting the tiny man into the air. He wasn't too worried about dropping the dude - he could catch him easily -  but he still didn’t want to petrify him again. Gordon had flinched when lifted by the back of his tunic, quickly tears pricked at his eyes as the ground fell away. "SHIT!"</p><p>He was lifted higher and higher until he was dangled in front of the Griillii's shit eating smirk, playful eyes locking onto his object of affection. </p><p>"Told ya I could-- you don’t like, believe me when I say shit. Kinda hurts bro."</p><p>Gordon looks at Benrey when held to their face. He felt the color drain from his own face as he got a close look at Benrey's sharp and deadly teeth. It made him whimper. His tail tucked between his legs as he struggled lightly. Fuck! He didn't want to be dropped!</p><p>"PUT ME DOWN! RIGHT NOW!" He was shaking like a leaf, "T-THIS SHIT ISN'T FUNNY!"</p><p>The smirk fell into a pout, that one scent returning. Damn. Not again-- </p><p>"Yoo calm down, please?" </p><p>Benrey pleaded, realizing his mistake when observing the tears, tail, trembling, and all. His hand shifted around Gordon to cradle him in his palm rather than dangling him freely. </p><p>Yellow to blue orbs came out of Benrey's mouth, making the sound of a sad song, and then it ended with a stream of tranquil blue.</p><p>Gordon relaxed a little when the hand hovered under him. That was much, much better than a free fall. His hands moved to wipe away the tears that had threatened to spill moments earlier, beginning to take deep breaths to try and calm himself down. Fuck. He did not want to have a fucking panic attack in front of this thing.</p><p>It had been a good while since the borrower had spiraled into a panic attack. It was before he moved in with the kind old lady; he had had a little too close of an encounter with a bean and couldn't keep it contained. Going through that shit alone was hard, and he doubted being held by a... fuck what did they call themselves, right, he doubted being held by a Griillii would make it any easier.</p><p>The sound of the sweet voice did seem to help with his racing heartbeat, but it didn't seem to have the same calming effect, at least not till the end. Breathing became easier after the tranquil blue spilled out.</p><p>Once he no longer felt like he was dying he opens his eyes and looks up at Benrey. "Don't... don't do that again, please."</p><p>Benrey let out a relieved sigh he didn't know he was holding.</p><p>"Man I’m... I’m learning so much about that Feetman-lore, today." </p><p>He stated, slowly placing his hand on the counter to let Gordon climb off, rather than just picking him up. He coughed nervously. </p><p>"Let's uhh.. get you that life elixir, yeah?" Benrey tried, holding up the bottle cap.</p><p>The Griillii internally berated himself: on one hand he had the greatest urge to impishly pester the shit out of Gordon, while another pushed back against wanting to upset the tiny man.</p><p>Gordon looks up at him before nodding, life elixir? They mean water? Right???</p><p>"Uh, yeah... sure?"</p><p>He adjusted his orange tunic; glad his life was no longer in the flimsy fabric’s grasp. His eyes looked up at Benrey before looking over the edge of the hand and to the ground. Yeah that... that fall would probably kill him.</p><p>Taking the cap, Benrey lightly turned on the faucet letting a small stream flow from the tap. He held the cap under the rivulet, filling it up to the top screw line. Hopefully, that would be enough for the borrower; the cap looked like it could be a super large bowl to him.</p><p>The Griillii set the cap down on the counter near Gordon before turning off the sink. He waited for the other to move, wishing to just observe with curiosity while pondering things.</p><p>The borrower walks over to the lid and picks it up. He starts drinking the water. It was nice, having a full stomach for once. When he finishes drinking he wipes his mouth clean with his sleeve.</p><p>He looks up at Benrey, his ears had returned to their usual position and his tail gently waves back and forth.</p><p>"Um... thank you."</p><p>"No-- no biggie." </p><p>Benrey mumbled, not expecting to be thanked for anything, but it still felt... good. He squatted down, letting his head rest at eye level with Gordon. Technically any level was "eye level" for the Griillii, but he didn't think it would be too much of a good idea to spook him anymore today. </p><p>Looking at the borrower closely, Benrey wondered if he could shrink down to Gordon's height. I mean he could grow exponentially - if he ate and devoured everything he could like a true Griillii - but how was shrinking down out of the question? He had managed to shrink down to a small height of 7ft, from his original 157ft, just to be able to coexist with humans, so reducing himself to say maybe 6 inches couldn't hurt.... Right?</p><p>Gordon put the cap down. He then walks over to collect the knife he dropped as well as his empty jar. He looks at the knife and jar, then up at Benrey. "Um... could you turn the water back on? I... I need to clean this off," he gestures to the knife, "and I need to get this filled with water."</p><p>His tail sways as he spoke, he hoped the creature wouldn't be offended by his asking. He just... he didn't like the goop on the knife and if he ever wanted to leave this apartment he would need supplies. Enough supplies to last him until he found a suitable place to go. </p><p>He couldn't stay here, not with the bean knowing he was here. That was the rule he, as a borrower, had to follow.</p><p>Benrey nods in understanding, arm reaching up and switching on the sink to the same stream of water he used to fill the cap. </p><p>"Do you need help gettin’ into the sink? Or you want me to uhh hold you?" </p><p>He offered, peering down into the sink from his squatting position.  Certainly, the borrower could make it, but he just wanted to.... help him.</p><p>The borrower glanced at the sink, then at Benrey. "If... if you’re okay with holding me, it’d be a huge help."</p><p>Normally he wouldn't consider it but knowing his luck so far today he didn't want to slip and somehow fall down the drain. Better to be safe than sorry right now.</p><p>Rising from his squatting position, Benrey stuck both hands into the sink: the left hand pressed against the edge of the sink with the right linking up with it. The stream of water landed and flowed off his palm. He hoped it would help Gordon. </p><p>"Feel free to just stroll along. Can't believe I’m a platforming game now." Benrey chuckled.</p><p>Gordon nods, "thanks, again."</p><p>He walks onto the hands and walks over to the stream of water. He decided to start with the knife, reaching his arm out to let the water run over the blade. It was held there till the black liquid was </p><p> gone. Wiping the blade dry, he then tucked the shiv into his bag and exchanged it for the jar, opening the lid to allow the steady stream to leak into the custom-made glass. The jar was a much faster process than the knife, he just held it under the stream of water until it was mostly full. With that done he popped the lid back on and tucked it back into the bag.</p><p>With those two essentials taken care of, he turns around and walks back onto the counter. He nervously rubs his neck as he does so. The... the entity didn't seem too bad, when it wasn't scaring the shit out of him that is.</p><p>Large eyes watched intently, wanting to ensure everything went okay. They stopped looking when Gordon made it onto the stable surface, his hands-free to move to turn off the faucet. </p><p>"No problemo, Gordo."  </p><p>It was still awe-inspiring to the Griillii that even after finding a planet with people way smaller than him that there was an even smaller species that looked similar!! He broke his small musing to lean an elbow on the counter, propping his head on it. </p><p>"So uhh... come here often?" Benrey smirked, internally laughing at his own flirtatious joke.</p><p>The borrower blinks, not picking up on the flirtatious nature of the comment, "um yeah? I kind of live here? I guess."</p><p>He paused, "I- I can stop though. Go find someplace else."</p><p>"Whaaat? Nooo you can stay." </p><p>It almost sounded like a whine. </p><p>"We could be like super epic roomies. Watch movies together; be pro gamers; stuff like that. Have a real poggers time, ya know?"  Benrey rambled. </p><p>"Though if you have uh... better things to do then that's cool too." He half shrugged.</p><p>Gordon paused before shrugging and rubbing his neck. He... He didn't think that was a good idea. He had already broken so many rules just by talking to Benrey! The rules were there to protect him, keep him alive. There was still a real chance of Benrey, intentionally or not, killing him. He didn't want that.</p><p>"I... I don't really do a lot of... that... stuff. Never had the time to."</p><p>"Sounds real cringe, if you ask me." Benrey stated matter-of-factly. "No... No insult to you, but like, broooo you need a break. Relax a little with Benrey, please?" </p><p>He was squatting once more, head peering over the counter with wide, pleading eyes.</p><p>Gordon stumbled away a little from the pleading eyes. It was... unnerving. To see a creature he was terrified of observing him with such big eyes and such a saddened expression. It almost didn't seem to fit the yellow eyed, sharp toothed creature. His tail sways nervously but his ears stay neutral.</p><p>"I... I don't know. I should probably bring all this stuff home. And... and I don't want to take up any more of your time. I know beans like you.... well, I guess not like you... but, but beans usually sleep at this time! I shouldn't keep you up."</p><p>Not to mention Gordon himself was starting to feel tired. With the fear and adrenaline starting to run dry as well as his stomach being actually full for the first time in forever, he felt like he could sleep for a while!</p><p>A glance towards the red digital clock next to the utility closet told Benrey it was currently 2:39 am. He turns back to Gordon with a quirked brow. </p><p>"Well this bean... ole Benrey..." He stopped, eyes widening with a sudden epiphany. </p><p>"Oh my Ghetsis-- BEANrey!!! Brooo you’ve been missing your chance to call me fucking BEANREY!" </p><p>The Griillii’s train of thought was interrupted by the sudden pun coming to light, causing him to maniacally laugh on impulse. He let his laughter die down before resuming his earlier thought. </p><p>"Fuckin- anyways. Yeah. No. I don't uhh, do that sleeping thing?"</p><p>Gordon flinched when the volume of the creature suddenly increased, his ears lay against his head in an attempt to muffle the sound. He blinked twice when the yelling stopped, and he returned to speaking. He looked at, uh, Beanrey confused.</p><p>"What do you mean? I... I thought all living creatures slept?" </p><p>The tiredness he felt earlier had been temporarily startled out of him. Leaving him awake and confused.</p><p>"Or at least all living creatures rested, don't you need rest?"</p><p>"Nope."</p><p>Beanrey shook his head at Gordon. "Sleep is for the weak. And I'm not uhh... weak." </p><p>He wondered if the borrower was starting to grow tired; he took note of the signs he heard, saw, and smelled. </p><p>"What... what about you, huh? Feetman becoming a little sleepy boy? Hmm?"</p><p>Gordon frowns a little. He didn't want to be, Benrey was unpredictable, dangerous! He shouldn't be tired around a possible threat! ... but he was. So he nods slowly and frowns.</p><p>"Yeah, I guess I'm getting pretty tired." He nods, the sways of his tail beginning to slow as if proving his point. Yeah, now that his temporary scare was gone and done with, the need to sleep began to crawl back into his system.</p><p>"I should probably go home... I don’t wanna pass out on your counter or some shit."</p><p>"Well here, big ole Benrey can walk ya home. The night can be pretty gnarly and dangerous... Might need me to protect ya." </p><p>He spoke as if offering Gordon a walk home from a bar down the street. Maybe they could hold hands, let Gordon rest his head on his shoulder... Wait, stop, too gay, plus he can't exactly walk next to you, idiot. Though, it's not like he didn't know where Gordon's hidey-hole was. His skeletons had mapped it out the day he left the Kit-Kat. Getting there was no problem! - to Benrey at least, now for the poor borrower....</p><p>The borrower looks up at Benrey before adjusting the bag on his shoulder. The bag now held its usual content plus the trail mix he'd been giving and a couple of crumbs.</p><p>"Oh, um. I should be able to get- get myself home." He knew Benrey probably figured out where his home was. That thought didn't bring him comfort. Who knows what cruel things the alien could do with that information? </p><p>"Besides, it's not too dangerous." </p><p>Probably the most dangerous thing here was Benrey, and so far they didn't seem like they planned on killing him.</p><p>The Griillii instincts just wanted to snatch Gordon up and spoil him, wait on him hand and foot, but being on Earth for so long assisted Benrey in suppressing those undisclosed desires. </p><p>He knew that courting worked differently on Earth than in the dark void of space. The archaic horrors relied on being what the humans call "mean" and assholish and beating each other up to express interest in "dating". Not to mention how violent the "mating" usually went...</p><p>It was a surprise and unexpectedly refreshing for Benrey to learn how most creatures (humans included) on Earth got together. The end result was usually the same, though maybe watered down on Earth: the Griillii do everything with, and anything for their partner - a mutual spoiling of sorts. Whereas on Earth, the partners were together, just without so much spoiling. </p><p>However, from how the two halves reached that state varied extremely. Where a human might be nice and smooth, a Griillii would be rude and blunt. Earthlings needed care, kindness, and trust - an aspect that took spending time together to gain. The only "trust" and time a Griillii needed going into a relationship was to trust that they not be eaten by their partner, but even that could be broken easily; anything else could be figured out - they had infinity together, after all. </p><p>But here was poor poor Benrey; trying to find a balance between the two worlds with the only being in the universe that had managed to light a spark in the dark void within. Leave it to his shit luck, on top of that, to fall for the creature that was least likely to trust him.</p><p>Totally not poggers at all.</p><p>"Ah, all right uhh... Need help to the door or at least down to the- the floor?"</p><p>Borrowers got together a lot like humans would. Flirting, gift giving, dates, all the usual mushy human stuff. Gordon hadn't really even been with anyone, at least not like that. He chose to leave his home at a younger age than most who ventured off. So that left Gordon somewhat in the dark for mating with other borrowers, and he had literally no knowledge on dating a Griillii. </p><p>He looked up at Benrey when he spoke, his tail tiredly waving behind him. A hand reached up to rub his eye and a soft yawn escaped him. Yup, he was tired. </p><p>It.... it probably wasn't a good idea to try and climb down the cupboards like this, the last thing he wanted to do was to slide off his hook and fall to his death!</p><p>"Uh... I'd appreciate it if you helped me to the floor." He moves his hands to his tail and nervously holds it.</p><p>The sight of Gordon cutely standing there made his metaphorical heart skip a bit.  Benrey stares in adoration for a moment but breaks it upon remembering the request. </p><p>"S-sure thing. Big ole Benrey's got ya."</p><p>He reassured, both hands - pressed together and cupped - rising up to the counter for Gordon to climb on.</p><p>Gordon walks over and crawls onto the hands. He sat himself down to make himself more comfortable.</p><p>He rubs his neck nervously "Thanks again dude..."</p><p>The urge to just cradle him close or give Gordon cuddles was extremely poignant, especially when he had him in his hands, so comfortable and calm. </p><p>Benrey nodded in response and gave a verbal answer for it to be more concrete. </p><p>"Like I keep saying, bro, it's no problem. You're, uh, always welcome?" </p><p>He stated as his arms lowered slower than molasses dripping off a spoon, till the back of his hands felt the icy cold tile floor.</p><p>Gordon nods and yawns softly, a hand moving to rub his eye. Yeah, it was bedtime for Gordon.</p><p>Gordon was thankful for their slower descent. The idea of moving quickly and being scared shitless again did not appeal to the tired borrower.</p><p>Once the hands were on the ground the borrower stood up, stretched, yawned, then got himself off the clawed hand. He lets go of his tail and dusts himself off, he then adjusts the bag on his shoulder.</p><p>"Mm... fuck I'm tired." He said to no one in particular.</p><p>Benrey didn't want to say anything, just choosing instead to observe and watch the borrower vigilantly. Even from sitting on the floor, Gordon still seemed so tiny and small to the Griillii. It wasn’t a new feeling, but it carried much more significant implications than it did before the borrower entered his life. </p><p>"Wish... wish I could relate."</p><p>Benrey mumbled, shifting from sitting to lying down on his side to get a good view of Gordon and his path to the bedroom door.</p><p>Gordon looks up at Benrey, "I... I can’t imagine not being tired. Must be nice." He chuckles tiredly</p><p>He stretched once more, his ears twitched a little as he did so, "w... well, I should go. Um... bye?" He begins to walk to the bedroom, adjusting his tunic a little as he did so.</p><p>The borrower's soft chuckle left a warm smile on the anomaly's face. </p><p>"Nighty night, Gordon. Don't let the bed bugs bite..." </p><p>Benrey purred, too dotingly focused on watching the borrower leave to even bother to butcher his name. When Gordon slipped into the bedroom, they buried their face into the crook of their elbow; this time it was the sweater's turn to be stained with the color of blush. </p><p>---- </p><p>Bony fingers clung to thick plastic, clutching and tugging it with desperation. Each set of pedal bones stepped closer and closer to its goal: The Borrower's home entrance. </p><p>It froze momentarily hearing tired footsteps in the distance, then suddenly reanimating with a newfound panic-induced vigor. </p><p>How it was able to hear without ears wasn't too much of a mystery; considering it wasn't made from collagen nor calcium, but rather dark matter. </p><p>It got close to the door, a good enough distance, before melting away into the shadows.</p><p>Gordon enters the bedroom with a yawn, god he was ready for today to be over. His ear twitched when he heard the sound of a bag crinkle and quickly the borrower’s eyes darted around. Was someone else here? Why? Didn't Benrey live alone?? He slowly approached his home, staying on high alert.</p><p>Then he saw it. A bag of some sort located not far from his door. He curiously made his way over to it. What the fuck? This was... hella convenient. Why was this here??? Benrey was in the kitchen still so he couldn't have put this here. So who had...? </p><p>"... okay, weird..." He rubs a disbelieving eye; he was too tired for this.</p><p>From the darkness, the skeleton made one last hoorah and sang blue to red at Gordon before leaving, retreating to the top of the bed to stand guard. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Like A Diamond in the Sky</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Benrey tests out a power he hasn't used in billions of years, while Gordon gets a new shiv and learns some new information about the Griillii.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Update on that funky author note thingy: I figured it out and fixed it!! Woo!!<br/>Also, as always, thank you Vrictel for beta reading all the way up to uhhh, chapter 13? Thus far? Real OG for reading this for Epic and me despite having never watched HLVRAI.<br/>My friend d88ty/8dooty8 has drawn a piece for the AU, I just need to figure out where to post it since she doesn't use tumblr nor wants to get a blog (kinda been postin' for her - oops).</p>
<p>----</p>
<p>Sweet voice translations:</p>
<p>yellow to maroon - I hope to see you soon<br/>salmon and strawberry - you make me very happy<br/>grey - afraid<br/>violet to blue - I'm sorry I hurt you<br/>yellow - you like this fellow<br/>white - not all right<br/>black to cherry - extremely scary</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Having gotten up from the kitchen, Benrey now reclined on the couch, one leg on the floor with one leg stretched out. For a majority of the rest of the night, he stared at the tiny wound still left on his finger. Most of the matter had returned from the sink, but there were still a few remnants gone. Probably still on that little cringe ass shiv. Benrey thought... until a devious smile etched across his face. Still on the shiv, huh? </p>
<p>He glanced up at the wall, up at a framed black passport with a religious symbol that was hung above the television. It was the thing keeping him attached to this world rather than the world itself. The Griillii’s impulsive idea coming to full completion. After a while of Benrey just concentrating on it, the passport's symbol faded, and the color changed from black to blue, becoming a blue leather-bound booklet with a crest and the letters "C-A-N-A-D-A" imprinted on it.</p>
<p>Meanwhile, in the borrower's bag, the shiv twitched erratically - seemingly possessed (and it was) - as the handle grip turned black. The black ooze that had penetrated the weapon bled over the fuller - encasing it, before melding into the blade, leaving the weapon with sharper edges than before. A pommel formed on the tip of the grip, the religious symbol from earlier returning with pride. With a final touch, foreign characters burned into the blade and cooled immediately, staining it like an arcane sword of old.</p>
<p>
  <em> ‘Poggers. Still got it.’  </em>
</p>
<p>Gordon had been asleep when the shiv began to twitch. He slept on a pile of loose cotton and pillow feathers and had wrapped himself up in a blanket he had fashioned from different scraps of fabric. The bed frame was made of loose cardboard scraps and more so just kept fuzz from spilling all over his room. It wasn't the best bedding, but he made do.</p>
<p>His ears twitch when he hears an odd sound before he tiredly opens his eyes. "Nngh..." He whines, not enjoying being woken up. He slowly sat up from his pile on the floor and yawned. He stretched a little before looking around. Something was making noise and he was confused. </p>
<p>His eyes eventually drift over to his bag, it seems to be coming from there? What the fuck would be in his bag making noise? Did an insect or something crawl in?? </p>
<p>Gordon stood up from his bed and walked over to the bag, unknowingly just as the blade would finish its transformation. He opens the bag and looks inside. Despite being tired his eyes instantly noticed his shiv looked... different. He hesitated before picking up the blade. </p>
<p>"What the fuck...?"</p>
<p>Benrey was gone from the couch, now inside the shiv-turned-pro gamer dagger. He dared not make a sound, wanting Gordon to sleep and just accept the fact he now had a weapon that could cut literally anything like butter. He hated how overboard the attachments made the binders look, but it couldn't be controlled: this was as discreet as Benrey could get. He just prayed to Ghetsis that the borrower would be too tired to care. The symbol on the pummel glowed yellow to maroon before dimming to its default red colors. FUCKING CRINGE ASS SWEETVOICE. GONNA EXPOSE ME IN AN EPIC FAIL. Thankfully, no sound is emitted from the pummel, just the colors shifting with Benrey internally freaking out. </p>
<p>Gordon blinks and sits down, knife in hand as he looks it over. This most definitely wasn't his, too fancy, too well made. He flipped it over in his hands quietly, before noticing the light glowing then the symbol. His ears perk up in response.</p>
<p>Curiously, he ran his thumb along the symbol, his tail flicked with curiosity. Unfortunately, Gordon wasn't going to just go to bed. He was too confused, too interested, in the strange new blade. </p>
<p>He knew his old knife could barely cut fabric and wondered if this would fare better. In his own stupid curiosity, he lightly pressed his finger to the blade, and of course, it effortlessly nicked his skin. Luckily, he didn't cut his own damn finger off, just a small wound. Still, the borrower flinched and dropped the knife.</p>
<p>"Shit. Ow." He stuck the now bleeding finger in his mouth.</p>
<p>The rubbing of the symbol made the colors glow salmon and strawberry. Suddenly they stopped, ending on grey. </p>
<p>Upon cutting his finger, the colors began to flash violet to blue in rapid succession, casting a raving glow on the floor. It was as if the blade seemed alarmed by its owner's injury. </p>
<p>
  <em> ‘Fuck fuck fuck. Cringe little mouse-man be careful!! God.’ </em>
</p>
<p>Gordon looks over at the flashing colors, confused. As much as he wanted to inspect it he needed to do something first. Gordon stood up, grabbed a small amount of fabric scraps from his pile, and used a tiny bit of it to wrap up the bleeding finger. Once that was done, he walked back over to the knife and picked it up. He glanced it over before digging through his own bag for his own shiv. Because this one wasn't it.</p>
<p>He frowned when he couldn't locate it. "Where did it go? I just had the stupid thing..." He frowns before looking back at the decorative shiv. "Hm... guess you’re my new knife." He didn't really think about the fact he was talking to himself. Gordon had been alone for a while.</p>
<p>If only knives could pog. Well, Benrey could, in the form of glowing colors that represented emotions and meaning in an alien tongue. The symbol held a yellow glow at Gordon's proposition. Fuck yeah. Borrowing with the mouse-man.</p>
<p>"Okay Gordon, nap time." The borrower yawns. He put the knife down on his bag, he'd put it back in the bag later. For now, all he wanted to do is go to bed.</p>
<p>He walked over to the mess of warm cozy things and crawled in, wrapping himself back up in his hand made blanket. It takes a minute or two, but he did manage to fall back asleep.</p>
<p>A deep black shadow streams out of the tip of the dagger and flows along the floor, till it starts to bend and climb along the wall behind Gordon. Multiple eyes open in the silence, watching over the sleeping borrower for a while. A claw emerged from the shadow and reached for the soft blanket, grasping it. The claw covered Gordon's shoulders with the blanket, tucking him in the middle of his sleep; can't have the borrower getting cold, especially since winter is nearing and Benrey keeps the heat off. He waited for any movement - none.</p>
<p>Phew. The claw was about to return, when it stopped and hesitated, hovering above the wavy dark-brown locks of hair while seemingly unable to make a decision. The choice was made when the claw's talons became blunt and gently ran themselves through Gordon's hair, scratching some behind the fluffy ears, and finishing with a few pets. </p>
<p>The Griillii was satisfied, but Benrey berated himself for even invading Gordon's space like this; the sudden guilt caused the claw to recoil and quickly retract into the shadow mass. The eyes looked sad. </p>
<p>
  <em> ‘Stop. Stop... He...He probably hates me right now. Please... You see how fearful he is. I can't be cringe. Just protect him…’ </em>
</p>
<p>The eyes closed as the shadow fell from the wall and slithered back into the dagger: the pummel glowing a soft bright white.</p>
<p>Gordon remained asleep as the entity had crawled along his wall and pet him. The ears twitching a little when touched and, if Benrey listened closely, he'd hear a soft purr leaving the sleeping borrower.</p>
<p>He slept the rest of the night away, unaware of any tomfoolery involving the blade. He would begin to wake up at around eight am. He would yawn, grumble, and open his tired eyes.<em> ‘Fuck. Waking up was too damn hard.’ </em> He wanted to remain comfortable in his bed but... no. He had to get up. If he wanted to make it out of here and move into another apartment he didn't have time to be lazy.</p>
<p>Sitting up he looked around his small home. He was kind of proud of this one... he wondered just how much stuff he could take with him. He stood up from the bed and stretched, his hair a bit of a mess as he did so. He brushes a hand through it to straighten it out, then grabs some loose ribbon to tie it back. Good. He walks over to his bag and shifts the blade off of it, reaching into his bag to get out the small thing of trail mix. He grabs out the peanut and starts eating that.</p>
<p>"I should make a list..." He spoke out loud, it helped get his brain moving. "Figure out everything I need before winter. Yup. Good thinking Gordon." He praised himself with a chuckle. With a goal set, he finished his breakfast and got out his little journal and piece of lead.</p>
<p>Benrey had been "sleeping" to pass the time and only stirred when Gordon started to speak aloud. He was thankful for him talking to himself so he could feel included... even though he technically wasn't. </p>
<p>Regardless, the blade listened and hung onto each word out of Gordon's mouth. ‘<em> A list...? For winter? Shit, it'd be crazy if I somehow knew this list and helped the little guy stockpile... Haha, just kidding... unless?’ </em></p>
<p>The borrower paced around his home, making a list of things he would need, and things he could easily pack up in case he needed to run. He was still leaning towards running away, but he couldn't be stupid about this. Something told him that the creature, what did it call itself? Benrey? Yeah, if Benrey caught on that he was trying to leave, they may not take it all too kindly.</p>
<p>He mostly mumbled to himself as he paced around, focused on strategizing and just gathering information. But eventually, he was satisfied with his lists and hums to himself. </p>
<p>"Items needed: Fabrics; warm shit, duh, probably a warmer set of clothes; food and water, like always; string to help make new clothes; probably a new sewing needle, fucking lost mine again... God, I need to keep a better track of that thing." He was talking to himself again, but he figured it didn't hurt anyone. Not like Benrey, or whatever he was called, could hear him.</p>
<p>He then paused; the house was... well... kind of quiet. "Wonder if he's home..." He whispers to himself, "wouldn't be a bad time to start checking off my list if he's not." He smiles at the thought of a simple, easy, uneventful scavenging trip.</p>
<p>The anomaly thought for a moment. Shit was he in the living room still? No- no wait-- of course not. His form reset itself when he attached himself to the blade. Currently, his "body" was the blade, whereas his form had disappeared. </p>
<p>As much as he wanted to help Gordon out by being big, he figured that by observing what the borrower could-and-couldn't accomplish would be far more beneficial. By acting as both a tool and a weapon, he could help assist and defend Gordon!! </p>
<p>Two creepers, one arrow. </p>
<p>Oh, and maybe reveal himself to his crush after gaining more insight into the little man's perspective. Benrey just wanted to understand. After all, he's never experienced true terror since he fought and ate that elder Griillii. </p>
<p>Gordon emptied out his bag of everything he didn't usually bring. He then tucked the knife into his bag. He then puts the bag on his shoulder and begins walking out of the hole.</p>
<p>He huffs and peeks out of the bedroom to look around. Coast was clear. Usually, he went to the kitchen, but with the entity gone, it wouldn't hurt to search the living room. So he begins to walk over, glancing around the space. He didn't go into the living room very often, too big of a risk.</p>
<p>He pulled his hook out and tossed it onto the coffee table, smiling when it caught on; he then began climbing upwards. He was excited to see what was around. His tail wagged a little as he climbed.</p>
<p>The coffee table was littered with empty Monster cans, cans of mountain dew, empty Doritos bags, game controllers (Xbox and PlayStation), a swan figurine???, and spare bits of change. </p>
<p>Among the snack remnants and other usual coffee table objects, there was... one.. really out of place item: the passport that was once framed on the wall laid in a cleared space on the table. </p>
<p>If Gordon could see his own shadow, he would notice that it had yellow eyes that were watching the area around them. The angle was pretty fucking funky for Benrey since the immediate shadow was really small, but he still had a vantage point to observe the borrower climbing his coffee table. </p>
<p>
  <em> ‘Oh fuck the coffee table! Damn, it looks shit at this height. Cringe.’ </em>
</p>
<p>Gordon collected some of the crumbs, but he was more so looking for supplies than food. His eyes kept focused on his surroundings, occasionally glancing to the front door to ensure no one was entering. This kept his eyes, at least for the moment, away from his shadow.</p>
<p>He noticed the passport on the table and paused, before curiously walking over. He didn't think he'd ever seen it before. Was it new? ... It didn't look all that new. Gordon’s curiosity got the best of him as he inspected the new object. He shouldn't care, really. It was of no use to him. But Gordon did wish to understand beans better, and if he was truly the first borrower to meet a Griillii, he needed to understand it.</p>
<p>Upon flipping open the first page it was painfully clear that this was no human passport, despite having a human country listed on the front cover. The first page was decorated with faintly drawn eyes and the symbols of Ghetsis. Anything scribed on the paper was written in an alien rune-like language, indecipherable to any human or Earthling. </p>
<p>The second page held even more text, and a few images of Benrey: picture one contained a normal-looking portrait of "human" Benrey sitting in a sterile room, a logo reading Black Mesa behind him. Picture two, however... was more... ambiguous. It was a landscape picture of a seemingly decimated forest: the ground cracked, stained with black and ooze, jagged tree stumps clawed out of the earth like a man drowning, and mountains shaped the frame, giving depth to how massive the area was. In the center was a seemingly void-like lake filled with a liquid one might assume to be tar... liquid similar to the ooze Gordon experienced prior. </p>
<p>Other than the photos, the only piece of writing that could be recognized were earth-numbers typed out next to each photo. </p>
<p>[Picture 1] - 7ft </p>
<p>[Picture 2] - 157ft </p>
<p>Curious as to what Gordon was standing still for, Benrey peered shyly from behind the borrower's leg. <em> ‘Oh hell yeah, is he reading my passport??? That's hella gay…’ </em></p>
<p>Gordon furrows his brows in confusion at the alien runes. Looked like scribbles or nonsense. He'd seen passports before, not often, but he had. He flipped to the next page and froze.</p>
<p>He wasn't sure what the second picture was, but it scared him. The destruction was horrifying to the borrower. The text of '157ft' did not make him feel any better. Gordon wasn't sure he'd ever encountered something of that... scale, at least nothing living. It hurt his head to even try and imagine such a creature.</p>
<p>He stepped back from the passport; his tail moved in worried flicks. Was... was that Benrey? Was that what Griillii were? Destructive tar-like entities??? It made him feel sick, and it also helped him make up his mind.</p>
<p>He needed to get the <em> fuck </em> out of this apartment.</p>
<p>He moved away from the passport and used his hook to get him down from the coffee table. He was shaken. He knew if he didn't leave before that... thing came home, he'd be dead. He rushes himself home, not worried about being quiet since he knew he was alone.</p>
<p>He began shoving his bag full of whatever food and supplies he had. A determined yet fearful expression on his face.</p>
<p>The shadow hid away at lightning speed from Gordon absconding from the table. He wondered what had caused Gordon to turn tail and run like that-- damn maybe it was the O.G. height. That could probably be it. After all, Gordon would probably be even smaller than a simple grain of sand to his true size. The Griillii felt an extremely upsetting emotion at the thought of ever losing Gordon. </p>
<p>
  <em> ‘N-no more mouseman-- no Gordon- ‘ </em>
</p>
<p>Something dreadful cracked in him. </p>
<p>
  <em> ‘A-am I- Th-this-- is??’  </em>
</p>
<p>His thoughts were shaky and scrambled. A new combination of colors taking over his voice, translated into the pummel flashing between the colors: black to cherry. </p>
<p>
  <em> Extremely Scary.  </em>
</p>
<p>An emotion he hadn't felt in thousands of years broke through his core like a shattered dam. </p>
<p>Benrey felt fear. The fear of losing Gordon. </p>
<p>Too lost in the overstimulation of yet another new emotion to process, Benrey didn't notice the borrower's own fear experience being derived from the same realization.</p>
<p>With Gordon’s bag haphazardly filled with everything he could fit, the borrower ran out of his home. Or what was once his home. It wasn't safe here, clearly, he should have never come here in the first place. A mistake he does not plan to repeat.</p>
<p>He ran out of the bedroom and to the front door, tripping a little on his own tail as he ran.</p>
<p>When he reaches the front door he realizes a problem. It's not open. In fact, it's probably locked. To enter this apartment he had to slip in while the door was open... </p>
<p>How the fuck was he gonna get the door open?!</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>https://prince-aster.tumblr.com/post/631016805057642496/da-blade-in-question-for-the-borrower-fic-owo</p>
<p>Finally drew the blade I attempted to describe kdjfhsdjk</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. When The Blazing Sun Is Gone</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Gordon meets two "new" friends :)</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Reference for Borrower Benrey: https://prince-aster.tumblr.com/post/629818871240605696/icy-roulette-designed-borrowerbenrey-for-that</p>
<p>Sweet Voice Translations:<br/>Green - I'm not mean<br/>Dark Green Kelp - I want to help<br/>Yellow to Maroon - Hope to see you soon</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>"Shit shit shit." Gordon began pacing nervously. Fuck. He needed to get the hell out of here, but he didn't know how to get the fucking door open. Hook maybe? No, too weak.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fuck. He couldn't stop the panicked tears that began rolling down his face.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Timid little footsteps sounded behind Gordon, almost with a subtle clicking sound. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The skeleton appeared the second the borrower's tears began to fall. Shit, was it too late??? Having been drawn by the excruciating scent of both Gordon and the dagger, the skeleton was determined to reach its purpose for existing. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A soft song made of "ooo"s was heard from it: normal green orbs floated on one side while several dark kelp green orbs drifted on the other. Two similar yet very different messages: "I’m not mean," and "I want to help". </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>For the week or so Gordon had stayed in this apartment, the skeleton remined shy and apprehensive to make itself known to the borrower. Always leaving tiny gifts around for him: bits of fabric, pieces of candy, and even expensive looking silk ribbons that the skeleton may have "borrowed" from its own miscellaneous adventures. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Anything for Gordon Freeman. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>For the skeleton to come out proved the direness of the emotions it sensed: quite literally the skeleton was coming out of the closet.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon's ears perked up when they heard a sound behind him. His pacing stopped and he quickly turned heel only to face.... to face...</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A skeleton.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His blood ran cold as he stared at it, his eyes going wide. His ears fell and pressed against his head. What the fuck.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon had noticed the gifts but didn't think anything of them. Well he took them and put them to use of course, he needed to survive, but he didn't think about where they had come from or why they appeared. He chalked it up to luck. Nothing more.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He stumbled away from the skeleton, "S-STAY BACK!" He reached into his slightly overstuffed bag and grabbed his new shiv, holding it out in front of him defensively.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nope. Didn't like this. No thank you.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>On command the skeleton took a massive step back. It seemed to tilt its head in a way that seemed like it was listening for its next command. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The threat of the blade meant nothing; what was most important was Gordon's words and feelings.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon blinks when it listens, his tail beginning to curiously twitch as he watches it. Slowly he lowered the knife, eyes fixated on the skeleton.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"You... you listened to me?" He tilts his head as he speaks, confused. His tears had begun slowing down as well.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A yes/no question. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The skeleton nodded promptly, hoping it was a clear answer. It stood at attention after giving a "yes." Despite the dutiful aura, it seemed, nervous almost? Anxiousness reverberating off the bones, it didn't want to fail by upsetting Gordon further.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The borrower blinks before moving to wipe away his tears. He looks at the skeleton, then back at the front door. Maybe....</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Okay um..." He took a nervous breath in before looking back at the skeleton. "Think you can help me get the door open?" He didn’t want to be here any longer than he had to be.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The skeleton looked up at the door, and then back at Gordon, processing the request. It gave its verdict with a nod. A pause made it seem like it wasn't going to do it, when suddenly it started sprinting towards the door. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>After gaining some traction, it leaped, jumping at an extraordinary height towards the handle. Like a trapeze artist, it latched on with a spin and hung off of it. It struggled a bit before a surge of strength shot through the tiny skeleton as it managed to use enough force to turn the handle and prop the front door open. The force from the door helped the skeleton fly back down to the borrower, landing in front of him gracefully. It bowed at Gordon, standing at attention once more.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon flinched back a little when the skeleton sprinted forwards. He watched in stunned silence as the skeleton masterfully opened the front door. He blinks before turning to said skeleton. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I... holy shit. That was amazing!" He smiles brightly, all his fear and sadness temporarily removed. "Fuck! Thanks dude! I... I don't know what to say."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He grins before realizing, oh yeah, he should get going. "Um, I should head off, but thanks for the save. Seriously. You’re a fucking life saver! "</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The praise stunned the skeleton. If it had eyes it would be exuding so many hearts and tears at Gordon's compliments and graciousness.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Gee golly... I'm just doing my job…’ </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A single hand raised up at the borrower, waving him off with a string of yellow to maroon.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>‘I hope he has fun.’</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Not even a trace of doubt resonated in the skeletons mind of Gordon potentially being in danger - Benrey was with him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nothing would get Gordon if He was near.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Like a sad puppy watching its owner leave for work, the skeleton watched and waited for Gordon to be fully out of sights before working on closing the door. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rather than closing the door from the inside, the skeleton stepped outside the door, and closed it. It stood next to the raised border of the door and melted into ooze, seeping into the black door guard to be camouflaged while awaiting Gordon's return.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon grins, safe at fucking last. No more weird bullshit. He rushed down the apartment hallway and noticed one of the doors left open. He slowed to a stop before peeking inside. The room looked normal, not too messy but not too clean. No signs of any pets and around the same layout as Benrey's apartment. With fewer soda cans everywhere.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Curiously, Gordon enters the apartment, tail swaying nervously behind him as he does so. He wanted to look around, see if this place seemed safer for him. The bean, whoever they were, was home. They could be heard humming in the bathroom. Okay that left the living room, kitchen, and bedroom to be explored. Kitchen to start.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He sneaks over and starts looking around on the floor. He'd start with the floor then go up, just in case.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The blade held in his hand was finally coming-to after a panic attack.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Gordon- Gordon???’</span>
  </em>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>A Sense of environment came back. Held, he was being held. In the shadow he saw that Gordon was holding him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The realization instantly brought major relief to Benrey, the thought from earlier fading away for self-preservation’s sake. Looking around, Benrey noticed that the apartment seemed similar, but reversed, and all his things were gone and- </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Oh Ghetsis, he moved already... Well, now is the chance to show him my pro gamer strats and earn his trust! It's gonna be epic.’</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon worked on searching the apartment, keeping the knife in hand for his own safety and comfort.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was all fairly standard. Good, good, he didn't want anything crazy. That proved to be too much for him. Within the living room, behind the couch he found a nice hole in the floor, leading to a small space. He could set up his home here! But first, he had to check.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He dropped into the hole and began looking around, if there were mouse traps or anything he couldn’t stick around. Once satisfied that there wasn't any he grins. "Perfect!"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Benrey watched in awe at the process Gordon had to go through in order to find someplace safe. It was obviously different from Benrey's style of new home finding. Didn't have to look out for nor avoid dangers because, well, he didn't have any. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Seeing the borrower grin after picking out such a wonderful place made something pleasantly flip inside the Griillii. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Handsome handsome smile... That's super gay, Benrey. God. Gayass Griillii--’</span>
  </em>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>The shadow Gordon casted began to twist and turn, the silhouette of the borrower's features melting and reforming. Features of a certain Griillii appeared in the darkness, before freeing itself from the ground, rising to a whole 6 inches behind the 4-inch borrower.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Benrey's form solidified, eyes glowing brightly with a newfound vigor from being recreated. He was dressed like a borrower, sort of: his jet-black mess of hair was loosely tied back in a low hanging ponytail; said hair was covered by a hood that lead into a short cloak, accentuating the shadows on his face; underneath the hood and cloak, Benrey was dressed in a simple undershirt with high riding but slightly baggy pants that tucked neatly away into a pair of tall-leather- button-up boots; scarves and drapes that matched the cloak hung off freely, decoratively - always seeming on the verge of falling off, but somehow still remaining; and finally, two thick metal wrist bracelets shaped his large arms and hands. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Oh poggers, Feetman. It really is… uh, quite perfect.. s'a sweet crib." The monotonous voice echoed in the empty room, the smirk on Benrey's face being saturated into the words.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon was not proud of the scream that left him when he heard a voice behind him. Quickly he turned to Benrey. His ears perked up and his tail made sharp movements.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He looks the other borrower over, confused. He gripped the knife a little as he looked them over. "Who are you?!" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He paused, "and what did you just call me???"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon was nervous, feeling somewhat like an animal backed into a corner. He didn't mean to threaten the other. He was just really jumpy after everything that had happened to him over the past few weeks.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Whaaat... bro..." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The "borrower" sounded almost sad and disappointed from being asked the simple question. The tip of the tail flicked as it was posed between his legs shyly. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"You don’t- you don't remember me? Great friend?" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Yellow eyes locked onto the blade but were unphased by staring at themself. Not a threat, be cool. They stared at the blade, seemingly in a normal reaction to having a weapon pointed at you... However, the eyes shifted up to meet Gordon's own brown and green ones, expression unperturbed; save for the small pout.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon blinks, brows furrowed in confusion. He didn't think he'd seen this borrower before, but... it has been a while since he's seen another borrower, period! He slowly lowered the knife, thinking it over in his head.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I.... no. I don't think I know you? I'm sorry, should I?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fuck if this was someone he knew from before he left the group and he somehow forgot them; he was gonna feel like a real asshole.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Benrey smacks his lips, arms shrugging outwards. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Dunno.. like... Did you like... hit your head or something last time I saw you? Real cringe bro. Got that- got that </span>
  <span>Fallout: New Vegas</span>
  <span> amnesia. Or sumthin? Little forgetful boy, aren't cha?" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He teased at Gordon's confusion, a little confused himself from not realizing he looked totally different. Then again, anyone looked radically different when viewed as a skyscraper.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon's ears lower as he tries to search his memories. The man in front of him did... seem familiar. But for whatever reason something was off, he couldn't put a name to his face. The borrower couldn't make the connection that the borrower before him wasn't a borrower, but was, in fact, the bean he had just fled from.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He puts the knife into his bag and sighs. "I'm sorry, I really don't know who you are." He hesitated, tail flicking nervously, "uh, I'm Gordon. Gordon Freeman, but you seem to know that already." He chuckles and holds his hand out for a handshake. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Might as well try and be hospitable to the other, despite a rocky first introduction.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The Griillii eyed the borrower's hand, before returning the gesture with a toothy smirk. He stepped closer with his tail hovering to the side like a loving and curious cat. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>An all too recognizable clawed hand took Gordon's firmly: the black nails and black tips that melted into grey flesh being the most prominent feature. With a shake, the other "borrower" spoke with a low purr. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Benrey."</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Special thank you to vrictel on tumblr for beta reading this chapter!</p>
<p>Also special thanks to everyone who kudos and commented on this fic so far! You all make our day and help us find motivation to write!!!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. When The Nothing Shines Upon</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Gordon smiles at him, trying to be welcoming and friendly, at least he had been until the other said their name.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sweetvoice Translations:<br/>Salmon and Strawberry - you make me very happy<br/>The Shades of a Ripe Grapefruit - you are so cute</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Gordon smiles at him, trying to be welcoming and friendly, at least he had been until the other said their name. He froze for a minute before he yanked his hand back, taking a step away from Benrey. His tail swayed nervously behind him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"B-but that isn't... you shouldn't.... th-that can't be possible!" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Now that he actually looked at the 'borrower', it did make some sense. The familiar clawed hands, the sharp teeth, the piercing eyes. He felt a shiver go up his spine as his ears pressed against his head. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Benrey-- he--you.... He's fucking, like..." His thoughts remember the passport, "he's seven feet tall! Not... fucking this!"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Benrey's hand was left hanging in the air for a moment as Gordon rambled in mild panic, his smirk falling. He dropped his hand back down; he was listening to the other mention his height while he looked down at himself, studying his appearance with high interest.  Wow, he looked snazzy as a borrower. The scarves, da hood, the pants.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Pretty Gucciiiiii.’ </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>However, the boots and tail impressed him the most. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Oh shit and the drip!! Niiiiice.’</span>
  </em>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>That damnable shit eating grin was back on his face when he returned his gaze to Gordon. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Pretty epic right? Mean... y'not wrong there, Feetman. But uhh,, could be- I could be 7ft again if you want. Makes it hard to like, 'borrow' with you, but it could work out." His long tail swayed playfully. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Plus I'm... uh…  really likin' what I’m seein' -- at this height," </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The Griillii's eyes half-lidded themselves at Gordon - eyebrows doing a single waggle in the Borrower's direction, dilated pupils checking him out from head to toe. He then sighed in faux sadness. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Though, a dude does have his preferences..." Benrey lamented.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon paused before his tail continued to sway back and forth. So, wait, this was Benrey? Benrey who could somehow be bigger than mountains, could also be as small as a borrower. Well.... He was taller than Gordon, and Gordon was around average size. So Benrey could be taller than an average borrower? Tail and all?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It confused Gordon.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Wait... you want to like... scavenge with me? Why?? Don’t beans live like... a fucking luxury life???" He ran a hand through his hair before continuing. "They don't have to worry about birds, or cats, or dogs, or most predators! They don't need to constantly hide! Why would you want to risk your life scavenging???"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His ranting almost made him miss the flirty comments or the intense gaze the Griillii gave him, almost. His tail stopped moving and his ears perked up a little. He felt his face warm up with blush as he tried to, well, process the comments. He blinks, staring at Benrey. His mind raced with a mess of different thoughts.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"What...?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Huh?" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Benrey responded with Gordon's confusion with confusion of his own. He then remembered all the dangers Gordon listed that a borrower faced. Inconceivable. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Risk? There are uhh no foreseeable deaths... Just relaaax... Only thing gotta worry about would probs be the hiding thing-- shit’s mad difficult in some games."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Benrey spoke with obvious facetiousness - like it was a game to him; dare he say, a vacation. Such insensitivity wasn't filtered out on account of his own hubris on being able to handle himself and protect the actual borrower. If another borrower heard him he would be thought to be insane. Which is probably how he sounded to Gordon right now. He genuinely couldn't tell. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Besides, you got me!! Big strong Benrey can fight off the big bads for you." He declared, hands on his hips as he puffed out his chest.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>In the Griillii's mind it was a win-win compromise: Gordon got protection and an easier life; and Benrey got to spend time with his crush and no longer have to be bored! It was perfect!</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The borrower stared at Benrey, confused and overwhelmed and a whole bunch of other emotions he couldn't even name. He grips his hair as he tried to process what the ever-loving fuck Benrey had just said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"What the fuck are you talking about? What do you mean no foreseeable deaths??? This... this isn't a fucking game!" He began pacing back and forth, hands gripping his hair as he did so. "This is my life! I could fucking die out there! Even if... if you 'protect me'! I could starve, or drown, or be eaten, or-- or who knows what the fuck else!" He frowned more, yup, he was stressing.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He was stressing, pacing, and panicking. He was focused on the </span>
  <em>
    <span>real</span>
  </em>
  <span> dangers out there. "It's not some funny fucking game!"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Benrey deflated some at Gordon freaking out. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Why isn't he relieved? Gordo should be more at ease with being offered protection... Right? Earthlings be weird as always, huh.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Uh... calm down please?" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He asked, his tone taking on the seriousness and empathy that was lacking earlier. The imagery Gordon's words put into his mind struck chords like an out of tune guitar, painful emotions welling up. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Shit. Fuck.’ </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"S'not-- I wouldn't- I wouldn't let that happen, man--" he tried, attempting to use words instead of relying on the sweet voice right away. Benrey's body started to cautiously move closer to the borrower with his hands up nervously. "Th-that's what I’m, I’m tryna say-- You wouldn’t have to live with this cringe ass fear."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon stopped pacing and turned to him when he began to approach; he nervously took a step back.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I... but... why? Why would you... why protect me? What do you gain from that?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He didn't understand why a bean would ever care for a borrower. Let along some unknown entity that could grow to a massive scale and seemed capable of major destruction.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The simple answer? </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>‘I have a huge crush on you because you've sparked something in me that I've never felt before and it's something that my species doesn't reserve for other species. You paralyze me like fear paralyzes prey, and you draw me in like a super massive blackhole. Your smile shines brighter than any star I've eaten, and I just want to protect that gift you've given the universe... I just want to protect you… For some inexplicable reason.’</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>What Benrey said? </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Uhhh, I gain like... comradery, friendship, and a- a new experience? I dunno..." Benrey stopped to speak, thumbs nervously twiddling as a spec on the floor became super interesting to look at for some reason... The grey hood hung further down his face, hiding the blush that was blooming. He internally berated himself for not having a more coherent reason that would be reasonable to an Earthling. </span>
</p>
<p><em><span>‘He'd probably hardcore cringe at the words; I'm practically a uhh... what did they call them? Strangers? Yeah- I'm... I'm practically a stranger to him. S'not like Tommy where “strangers are friends we haven't met yet! :) " That'd make that relationship bar go into the negatives, surpassing the hate level. Fucking- Sims make it look so fucking easy…</span></em> <em><span>Oh shit,’ </span></em><span>he was clenching his teeth,</span><em><span> ‘what did Gordon say?? Fuck fuck fuck.’</span></em></p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon blinks, no longer moving away from Benrey. He stared at the entity. He was searching his expression, trying to spot any sign of the entity lying. When he felt satisfied that the creature, in fact, seemed at least somewhat truthful he took a deep breath.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"So, you... what? Want to be friends?" He paused, "you wouldn't know the, um, rules of being a borrower. But we... we're not supposed to talk to beans. We're told it's very dangerous. We're told that if we're ever spotted by beans you, um, have to leave. Quickly. Otherwise they'll kill you, or torture you, or whatever."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He rubs his neck, glancing at Benrey, then the floor. "But... I guess... I've been kind of lonely? Recently? Um... if you promise to not, like, kill me? I guess? We uh... could try... being friends? If... If that is what you want!"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Benrey's head perked up when "friends" left Gordon's mouth. He almost didn't believe he was hearing it, having expected the borrower to be adamant about being left alone and just shoo the Griillii away - the worst possible outcome in Benrey's mind. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>However, he was elated to hear the greatest news. With his face beaming, orbs of salmon and strawberry colored sweet voice sung out of his mouth into the dimly lit room. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I-I promise, bro. Absolutely. One hundred percent. 'D be weird if I didn't promise, considering what I'm here for..."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span> Benrey pointed out when affirming the promise to not kill the borrower.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Though, good thing I'm not a "bean" or whatever- so uhh, checkmate!"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The Griillii's sudden enthusiasm practically screams that he wants this.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon’s ears perked back up when Benrey showed almost immediate excitement. It was surprising and, well, kind of nice. He honestly wasn't sure what the entity wanted so he supposed being friends was better than being eaten.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I, yeah... I suppose borrowers don't have a specific term for, um, Griilliis? Is that right?" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He was still getting used to the word. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Whatever. Didn't matter. "I need to empty out my bag and start getting this place set up, then I think we can go scavenging. If you want?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>God this felt awkward, he had not spoken to anyone but himself in a while. Let alone tried to befriend anyone.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Sounds cool with me, dude." Benrey gave a thumbs up, voice once more monotone. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>While Gordon messed with his bag, he began to observe the room they were in, head glancing up at the ceiling that was a couple feet shy of touching his head; up and around. His eyes trailed along till landing on the walls that cut the room squarely: the “walls” were two wooden 2 x 8s, he noted. Earlier he had seen that the floor was made of pressed down dirt, making a dirt floor. Duh. It wasn't too shabby. The Griillii had definitely lived in much danker places. He was sure with some collecting and sprucing up they could make this feel homey. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Holy shit, just like Minecraft!’</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon focused on unpacking his bag. He unpacked fabric scraps, food, and everything else he had managed to grab. He began to organize the stuff he had gotten, wanting to catalogue what he had grabbed and how much of each item he possessed. Making a list would help with that.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>So Gordon began to busy himself with getting somewhat of a system started up. Fabrics put in one spot, food tucked into another, string detangled, so on and so forth. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"That's one of the hardest parts about all this," he mused to himself, "getting everything set up again. Moving sucks."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Benrey gave a sad smile at that fact, turning his head to watch Gordon curiously. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Yeah I feel you there, man..." He stated, having had his fair share of moving around while on Earth. A silent pause was shared between the two, like water in a full cup that was about to overflow, until Benrey broke it. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"You didn't have to... uhh, didn't have to move, ya know?" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He let it out there, half-way correctly assuming why the borrower fled. It was an understanding that was so close yet so far in his mind. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"B-but I, I understand? Or at least... at least I want to... U-understand your reasons. S'cool." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The Griillii didn't want to openly admit to accepting what he was trying to backtrack and do in hindsight of their current situation. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Stupid, why are you bringing it up???’</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon paused before nodding slowly. "I... the rules kind of say for our own protection that if we are, in fact, spotted by something bigger than us, cat, dog, human, whatever, it's safest to move out. Find a new home."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He rubs his neck as he thinks it over, "it's nothing personal. It's just... it's just how the rules are. And they've kept me alive so far."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He wasn't sure he needed to be out of Benrey's house anymore, but still, having his own space would be nice. Plus he didn't want to re-pack all the shit he's been unpacking and organizing. It would be more than a little waste of time to do so.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Besides this," he gestures around the hole there in, "will probably work a lot better than my old home."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ah, da rulez. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Borrower's had rules just like humans - makes sense: both species used rules to keep one another safe, it was just that Borrowers still had rules that were akin to ancient human rules, he noted. He supposed that it wouldn't hurt to learn these new do's and don’ts, wouldn't hurt to bend some either. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Benrey Ohh'd in understanding, giving the room another glance when it was mentioned. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Yeah you're right there, bro. Seems a bit-... seems a bit more roomy." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eyes stared curiously at the items on the floor placed in various categories. The Griillii was wondering what they would need to "borrow." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"So uhh... what stuff d'we need to raid for?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Well... if we want to get this place turned into anything livable we’re going to need things to make a bed, store food, and just generally basic supplies like lost buttons or coins, fabrics, string, broken pieces of other things, oh, shit, still need a new sewing needle."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon looks down at the list he had started in his journal. "Food, water, paper cause this journal is almost full, stuffing from blankets or pillows if possible, maybe more paper clips, jars of containers that can hold water are always welcomed."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Yeah he knew he was kind of rambling, he hoped Benrey didn't mind but he also didn't care. This was just how he operated. Kept him alive for... however long he's been alone. So he didn't plan on changing anytime soon.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"If you’re up for it we could probably head out there now? Most of this stuff, if we're lucky, should be in the living room or kitchen."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He paused.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Hopefully."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The Griillii blinked, seemingly spacing out but actually processing the list.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Pog. Seems easy-peasy. Let's fucking goooo,"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Benrey's voice trailed off - getting further away, not even waiting for Gordon as he jogged and climbed out of the hole's exit.  A faint, "Leeerooyyyy Jenkinnnssss!!" could be heard above.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon paused then sighed, before walking forwards and crawling out himself.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"... who's Leroy Jenkins...?" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He follows Benrey, pulling out his hook just in case. You never know when you'll need it, either for something good or to make a quick escape.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Outside, Benrey was staring up at the grey cheap couch that loomed above them; it was a good cover for the hole, but they probably needed to get something to actually hide the entrance. His tail was swishing impatiently despite having been the one to rush out before Gordon was even ready. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Looks a bit shit." He commented on the couch. At this size he could easily make out mysterious stains that had seemed to impossibly planted themselves on the underside. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Cringe. Bet it's not even comfortable.’</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon caught up to Benrey and looked at him, before looking up at the couch. He chuckles softly at the comment.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Yeah, it does. But I've seen worse." He shrugs. "One time I saw a couch with a litter of kittens living in it. They were cute but their mom was very much a feral cat." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He begins walking forwards, moving out from behind the couch to begin searching the living room floor. He wanted to avoid going into the couch if he could. It was hard to get his hook to actually hook onto the couch fabric sometimes. And it wasn't the safest option most times. Benrey whistled as he strolled behind the borrower, shadowing where he navigated.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Niiiiccee." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The living room floor was similar to his apartment's size, but different in layout. Aside from the grey couch being on the opposite wall, the furniture seemed more organized, and appeared to have more studious items. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Instead of a television, a large U-shaped bookcase filled with academic books, trinkets, gemstones, statues, and insect specimens took up most of the wall space. It didn't seem like anything out of the ordinary.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Between the two adjacent book towers was a space exposed to the wall. On it hung 2 framed diplomas. Below the frames were potted Venus flytraps and pitcher plants resting under special lights on either side of an old timey clock. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Bean must be a fucking nerd. Nerd ass bean. What do they even have a degree in? PhD in picking ugly couches? Gottem.’</span>
  </em>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Yo Feetman. Look-it all that nerd shit up there." Benrey pointed out. "Think there might be uhhh, anything of use?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon frowns a little at the insect specimens. Didn't want to end up like them. But having things like that wasn't too uncommon for beans, they found it cool or something. Nothing to fret over.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He looked up, glancing over the organized space. He hummed in thought before nodding.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Wouldn't hurt to look."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He tossed his hook up and watched it catch onto the top of the cabinet, between the two bookcases. Specifically the hook managed to dig into a little scruff on the corner.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Hope you're good at climbing." He says to Benrey with a smile.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon then began to climb up the string, he'd done this many times before, so he was pretty fast when climbing said string. Once up he made a mental note to keep some distance away from the plants, just in case, and looked back to check on Benrey.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Couldn't take his rope back till everyone was up.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The Griillii eyed the dangling rope in front of him with mild wonder. He took the rope in his hand and studied it, observing the little strands woven together to create a stable act of tension when pulled. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It would be so simple to just float upwards after Gordon, but he was already exerting so much pressure just trying to keep the 6-inch height. That'd really rain on both of their parades if he grew now; a scared and angry little Gordon, and a petrified human - be a bad time for everyone. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He had to do this the "hard" way. Benrey looked up lazily at the distance and gripped the rope. He tested the strength by tugging before beginning his climb. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Now, he wasn't.... terrible at it - far from it actually - however, his method for climbing initially seemed... less than practical. Rather than using his arms AND legs to scale the rope, the Griillii was nonchalantly pulling himself up by just his arms - matching a pace that was almost faster than the seasoned borrower.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon had planned to correct his climbing method when he saw it, but then noticed how... quickly they made it up. Damn, they must have some crazy upper body strength to pull that off. Once Benrey was up he grabs his hook and begins wrapping it back up.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"That couldn't have been good for your upper arms."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>With that said and the hook wrapped up he begins looking over the table for anything useful. Really anything at all. He was curious about the new bean he'd be staying with and wanted to get a read of their personality based on the items they owned.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"It's okay... I'm... I'm not an Earthling." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Benrey mumbled with a shrug, seemingly disaffected by any "pain" that was felt. Strolling past the framed diplomas, he was able to get a better look at what words were written. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The first diploma read: Pearl J. Pennyback - Bachelor of Science in Entomology and Ethology. While the second diploma held something similar: Pearl J. Pennyback – Doctorate in Biology. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>‘I was right!!! A total fucking nerd!!... What's a guy with those types of credentials living in a place like this??? Weirdo.’ </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Benrey hadn't noticed that he had stopped completely to stare and scrutinize the bean who lived here. He noticed and quickly scurried off to catch up with Gordon. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Hey Feetman. I don't think you got too much to worry about with this bean either. He's uh, he's a nerd like you." Benrey quipped, acting as if he hadn't let himself fall behind.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon paused before laughing, "I don't know dude, 'nerds' can still be pretty dangerous."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He found some scraps on the table that he grabbed and quickly slid into his bag. He then approached one of the bookcases. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I'm thinking we start at the top and work our way down, if you’re up for another climb?" His tone was somewhat playful. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He knew in the beginning the constant climbing is what made his first few trips the hardest. While he doubted the Griillii would have the same issues as a child aged borrower, he was curious how far the creature could push himself.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Besides, it wouldn't hurt to do some extra exploring, especially since he planned to move in.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The bored eyes of the Griillii lit up with excitement; the same playful glint that shone whenever Gordon prompted him with a challenge. That same gutsy expression translated into his new tail with the appendage curling in interest. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Fuck yeah. Don't need no chicken hat for this, Feetman." Benrey boasted, his smile beaming at Gordon. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Though do lead the way...  Besides I’m," His lips smack. "I’m kinda likin the view from back here~" he purrs with a double-tongue click.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon adjusts his hook only to pause. It took him a minute to process what Benrey said, he felt his face flush.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"D... did you just flirt with me?" He turns to Benrey. His tail wagged a little behind him, that and his blush showing how effective Benrey's little comment was.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon had never thought himself as bad looking, but he never expected to be flirted with. Let alone by something that wasn't another borrower.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Benrey smirked with his eyes half lidded. He crossed his arms and quirked a brow. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I dunno what... uh, you’re talkin' bout~" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He knew. It amused him greatly that the borrower was beginning to pick up the flirts. It was delicious seeing the reaction garnered when he did finally process the Griillii's words.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon blinks before shaking his head. He could process... that when they weren't scavenging.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He tossed his hook up and watched it catch onto the upper shelf of the bookcase to the left. He tugged it once to see if it was secure. Once satisfied he glanced back at Benrey, his tail giving a small nervous flick as he did so, before he started to climb up.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Once up, he waited for Benrey, glancing around the shelf a little as he waited.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Benrey made it up easily soon after Gordon.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Traveling as a borrower was "tiring" for the Griillii. Not the fatigue one might expect, but rather a tired one felt when using tons of willpower. He was doing his best to not 'let go', otherwise he would have to despawn himself and return to the dagger in Gordon's bag.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Speaking of the dagger. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Yoo Feetman. That- knife thingy that you pointed at me earlier. Looks pretty sick... like straight out of a Skyrim weapons mod sick." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He couldn't help but toot his own horn.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The borrower paused before pulling out the blade, "you mean this?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He looks it over, "it is cool. I just don't know where it came from... haven't tested it yet either. I hope it's good, my old knife could barely cut fabric."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon then puts the knife away again and begins to search this shelf of the bookcase. He hoped to find something good.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"So you're carrying around a weapon that you aren't even sure is capable of helping you? Sounds real cringe bro. That's like-- like not checkin’ the specs on a gun in Fortnite and then losin’ that epic victory royale." Benrey tsk'd, looking around items and under things perched on the shelf. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>This shelf contained items typically under-used, being the highest shelf: it had a photo of a landscape, a round-blue partially opened tin, miscellaneous trinkets, and a half-cut geode with colors spanning the rainbow. Among those items, the tin stood out the most. It looked like a tin of Danish butter cookies, images of the treats displayed in the round and on top of the lid.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon blinks before choosing to ignore Benrey's comments about his knife, brushing him off "I'll use it when I need to."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He approached the tin full of trinkets, his eyes lighting up as he looked inside. "There could be some nice stuff in there." He paused, before his ears perked up and he tried listening for the bean; he was satisfied when he didn't hear them.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Why don't we take a closer look?" He grabbed his hook and tossed it, letting it hook onto the rim. He then gave it a harsh tug, pulling it over and letting it spill out around them. He then waits a second, listing to see if the bean noticed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>After that was done he began searching through the items, a smile on his face.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The tin of "cookies" had been a sham all along!! Inside was sewing supplies - not Danish butter cookies!!  Exactly 20 small sewing needles, some spools of thread, a small pair of thread scissors, and other sewing supplies poured out. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Benrey had stopped gazing at the rainbow geode from the sound. He turned around to see the spoils Gordon had exposed. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Yooo!!! Fucking poggers!!" He cheered, running over to help the borrower investigate.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon gasps before grinning. "Jackpot!"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He rushes and grabs a sewing needle, looking it over happily. "Shit! I've been needing one of these!" He paused before smiling more and grabbing another. "I'm sure they won’t notice if I took an extra as well."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>This was great. He used the thread scissors to grab some different threads, making sure to grab a good portion but not enough to be noticed. He then looks down at the small scissors.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"They'd definitely notice these missing..." he paused, "but if they were hidden in a tin of cookies, they probably won’t notice for a while...." He then turns to Benrey, holding the scissors, "what do you think?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Bro I think even the scissors are almost taller than you." Benrey snickered, observing that the "small" scissors stood up to Gordon's height. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"We gonna yeet those, along with the needles...? Shaaarrrp." The pun practically melted off of his tongue.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon paused before laughing at the pun. "Fuck, that was awful. But yeah. I mean, they’re big, but they'd be so fucking useful!"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Setting up a home and being able to make large blankets would be a lot easier with something like this. "I suppose the only issue aside from being noticed is getting them... well... home."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Lemme see them, please?" Benrey held his hand out, fingers twitching with the "gimme" motion.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon hesitates before nodding. "Okay but don't like, break them or some shit."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He passes the scissors to Benrey, making sure to be careful as he did so.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The Griillii inspected the dual blades curiously before carelessly swinging them over his shoulders. Like a greatsword on a warrior's back, the scissors somehow managed to attach themselves seamlessly to Benrey's back. He shifted his shoulders up and down some to get adjusted to the feeling. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Niiiiccee. Now you, uh, don't have to worry 'bout carrying it."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon watched him quietly, tilting his head in confusion as his tail curiously sways.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I.. okay." He shrugs, "thanks dude. You sure you don't need a hand or something? We can always drop it off at home then keep looking?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Benrey chuckles, appreciating Gordon's concern while also wanting to show off a bit. "Nah man, I got plenty of hands. Like, sooo many."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>To make an example of himself, his arms pressed themselves to his sides flat and then began to raise up. As the arms rose, many more appeared like feathers on a bird's wings. They came up to shoulder height till Benrey lowered them back down, each arm seamlessly entering his body. It sounded like tape being ripped off skin when the Griillii raised his "normal" arms back up; just two. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"See?~"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon watched. His expression grew from a neutral but confused expression, to a look of shock and horror. He... he didn't know how to respond to... that. Whatever the fuck he just witnessed. So he stood there, in stunned silence. His tail had come to a complete stop as his ears slowly fell and pressed against his head. What. The. Fuck. What the fuck? WHAT THE FUCK?!</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He blinked once, then twice. He cringed at the odd sound; it sent a shiver up the borrower’s spine. His ears now pressed flat against his head. His brain trying to process what exactly he just witnessed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As his brain basically rebooted itself, he just... stared.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"... You are... a fucking anomaly." He finally managed to say.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Benrey gave a toothy grin at that, taking the abject horror from the other as a compliment. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Broo, that's gay." He quipped, walking over to a spool of thread that had landed neatly on the sides. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Might just... might just have to kiss you if you keep this up." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hinting at such a thing made his heart warm. Casually, he took a seat atop the spool, looking down at Gordon, legs swinging idly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The borrowers' faces flushed when Benrey mentioned them kissing. He adjusts his orange scarf to cover his cheeks. Nope. Nah. No.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"W-we should keep looking." Just ignore it Gordon. They're just messing with you, they probably don't feel that way about you actually. Just trying to get a reaction out of you.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He cleared his throat before he returned to looking around the shelf, seeing if there was anything else of interest.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The blushing borrower's face tattooed itself onto Benrey's brain. A saved play of the game. Total poggers moment. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>‘So fucking cute…’</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Without warning, orbs of song danced out of his mouth, displaying the various hues and shades of a grapefruit. He nearly choked trying to stop it, the spool wobbling from him almost falling off in shock. It was the Griillii's turn to attempt to madly hide his blush. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aside from the sewing supplies, nothing on the shelf remained that was of interest; except maybe the geode, but it served no purpose other than aesthetics.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon rushed over when Benrey nearly fell, his arms moved to Benrey’s arms to support him. The last thing he wanted was for them to fall off the spool, and possibly the bookcase. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He curiously watched the orbs as he held onto Benrey's arms, they were quite pretty. His eyes then met Benrey's as he realized how close he had moved to them</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Oh shit.’</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He's blushing again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He froze up and his ears perked up, his green and brown eyes meeting Benrey's yellow ones.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It took an awkward moment, but he managed to let go of the others arms and pull away. He took a step back and rubbed his neck awkwardly. "S-sorry."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He paused again. "We should be good to return home and drop some of this stuff off."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Those charming eyes ensnared him, paralyzing the Griillii yet again when they held that gaze. He swore he could see a spark of electricity shared between them. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Cheesy as fuck. Even my tail is curled…’ </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Time seemed to stop, Benrey moving closer and being pulled in; to think this tiny man had a stronger gravitational pull than the literal embodiment of a blackhole. To Benrey's dismay, it ended as fast as it had happened, a pout formed on his face when Gordon shyly pulled away. Then he had an idea, pout morphing into a smirk.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Broo... You- you saved me. My hero, man.... K-kiss for the hero, please?" Benrey purred, the spool of thread in tow behind him, being held with his tail wrapped around it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon was trying to ignore his blush and pull himself together. He almost had, reasoning that Benrey never felt that way towards him, and that it was all some joke! A sick joke, but a joke! At least until the Griillii spoke again. He felt all that time he had spent re-organizing himself and calming down melt into nothingness as his face filled with blush once more.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He turns to Benrey, tail wagging a little and his ears perked up. He looks into his eyes for a moment, feeling himself blush more. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Fuck, Gordon, keep it together.’</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He pulls his gaze away and looks to the floor. He took a deep breath and ran a hand through his hair, messing up his ponytail a bit in the process. "Oh, it's fine. N-no big deal! We um, we should really be getting home. Uh..." He pulls out his hook and nervously fiddles with it as he speaks.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Each time he got a reaction out of Gordon, the Griillii felt that inner dam cracking and splintering even further. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He had no right being that fucking cute. S'not fair. For a moment he doubted the other was being flustered from his own charm – err rather lack of it – and was instead flushing from awkwardness and mild anger towards him. But those eyes… those damn gorgeous eyes. Ghetsis, let him get lost in the amalgamation of brown and green for just a while longer, please? </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Benrey's eyes had looked hopeful before melting into soft disappointment when Gordon turned away again. Damn. No kiss.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The pining pity party didn't last long, however. Benrey's playful nature returning ten-fold.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Ohh 'getting’ a room' - 'going- going home'… I get cha, I get cha." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He purred with an otherworldly sound.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Sly little mouse-man.  You, uh, you all right there? Hmm?" Benrey lightly poked him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"You look a bit red there. Like a- like a uh, like a lil cherry tomato. Gordon Fruitman."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"That's not what I--" He was cut off by the sound of Benrey's purr. The deep sound sent a shiver up Gordons spine, his ears completely up. He barely registered the rest of what was being said as his mind processed the deep rumbling sound. What the fuck.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He was snapped out of stunned trance when Benrey poked him, he giggles and swats his hand away. Was he somewhat ticklish? Yes. Was he worried about that right now? No.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I am not!" He defends, taking a step back. "And what the fuck was that sound? Was that you??"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His tail swayed with curiosity behind him, his ears still attentive, trying to figure out if he could hear it again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Hmm??" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Benrey hummed in question.  He gave a questioning gaze that processed till realization hit. He hadn't even realized he had purred in the middle of teasing the borrower, the remnants of a small clicking sensation deep in his chest proving the accusation to be true. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Me...? Oh! Hahaha. Mmm...yeah--" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Watching Gordon react so curiously to him made that sensation in his chest stir up some, but thankfully it was not fully audible. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Why? You uhh... you wanna hear it again?? Duuude, that's gaayyyyy. Givin’-- giving me mixed signals here. We should- we should go out to dinner sometime." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>While rambling his "just kidding... unlesses?" the Griillii within betrayed him and let the purr go. The tail behind him double-teaming to expose his gay ass by posing like a cat's "I feel loving" position, hilariously with the spool still in its grasp.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon blinks, listening to Benrey ramble and attempting to understand.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I... I'm giving mixed signals!? You talk about getting dinner and then instantly take it back, then you take back the take back!" He sighs.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Another shiver ran up his spine at the sound. He blinks twice, he had heard the entity growl, so he knew that wasn't what the sound was. So what else could it be...? His tail continued to sway as he thought it over, not noticing Benrey's own tail.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Is.... Is that your fucking purr???" He stares at Benrey when the realization hits.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Oh shit. No fucking way.’</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"It is, isn't it!! Fuck! I thought, fuck dude, I didn't know what the fuck that was." He laughs.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Benrey froze with eyes wide, blush blooming across his face. The purring stopped and the tail set down the spool of thread when Gordon accused him, tail flicking nervously. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Shit it probably scared him.’ </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He stared at the ground, avoiding eye contact while twiddling his thumbs until he heard the laughter. Benrey gazed up and watched the beautiful sight. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"W-well duh... it's like- like you've never heard a Griillii purr before. Kinda-- kinda cringe?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He tried, and failed, to deflect. Oh man he fucking purred? In front of his crush?! How embarrassing. Sweet voice used in front of Earthlings was easyyyy to get away with - they couldn't translate the colors and their meaning - unless taught... But an obvious physical reaction that he shared with some creatures here? No memeing your way out of that one. Game over.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I've never met another Griillii, dude. At least, not that I know of." Gordon stops his laughter and smiles at Benrey. Getting over his initial shock.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He noticed the odd look on Benrey's face and frowns, his tail no longer wagging. Shit. Did he say something wrong???</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Sorry. I just didn't know what it was. Never heard anything like that..." He lowers his scarf to speak more clearly. He hadn't meant to upset the other. "Besides, I purr too. It... It doesn't sound like that, but I do. So it’s nothing to be ashamed of."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He figured since he didn't know much about Benrey and his race, he probably didn't know much about borrowers. He was embarrassed to admit he did, in fact, purr, but if they spent enough time together the other was bound to find out eventually.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Benrey's expression lightened up from bashful to curious from Gordon's admission. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He purred too? Wait-- shit that means he understood the meaning- the feelings attached...? </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Another more devious thought pierced through his awkward musings: Gordon Mouse-man can purr. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>That</span>
  </em>
  <span> he had to hear some day. Especially not now since... Oh fuck they were still on the shelf. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Benrey coughed nervously into his hand.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I getchu... I getchu. Don't worry, bro. S'cool."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>How long had they been up here? </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Think maybe... maybe we should head back?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon nods before getting his hook set up, hooking it into the shelf.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Yeah, we should. We don't want the bean showing up while we're talking."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He checks to make sure he has everything he grabbed: string, fabric, the two sewing needles, etc. Once that was done he grabbed onto the string attached to his hook, took a deep breath, then began his descent.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He mostly just slid down, his little fabric gloves there to make sure he didn't burn his hands. He also made sure not to descend too quickly. He'd done that before and fuck if it didn't hurt like a bitch. Once down he let go and backed up, looking up to make sure Benrey was doing okay.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The Griillii followed his lead and descended after Gordon, the spool of thread being held tightly by his tail and the scissors fixed comfortably on his back. Lack of gloves on Benrey's hands made no difference to him, a detail that would hint at him not being a true borrower - just like glowing eyes and sharp teeth weren't human (not borrower either but ya know). </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He glanced down below at Gordon and grinned. Suddenly he let go. He didn't start falling, but instead started gliding... The cloaks and scarves opened up, catching the air and creating an unnatural drag, allowing the Griillii to parachute down. Initially he could just drop down and take no fall damage, however the shock of landing may cause him to let go. A no-no at the moment.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Benrey gave Gordon a peace sign on the way down.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The borrower flinched when the Griillii let go "BENREY!"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He expected a quick and harsh drop, only to watch him calmly float down. He paused, before his features returned to a neutral state. He should have known. He shouldn't have panicked. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A long sigh leaves him, and he begins to take deep breaths. This thing, whatever it was, was going to give him a fucking heart attack. He waited for Benrey to land before he decided to speak.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"You scared the shit out of me! I thought you fucking killed yourself for a second!"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Aww little Mouse-man's concerned for me~" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Benrey chuckled, tail swishing as he took the spool from his tail and now carried it in his arms. He still wasn't used to being looked out for, though he could learn to like it - especially since a cutie like Gordon was looking out for him. The borrower had saved him and felt concern? He'd have to pay him back ten-fold for that. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Dude it's fiiinnnee. I got cheat codes enabled." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Benrey stated way too casually for what had just transpired. Stretching some as if he were just waking up.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Yeah I'm concerned for you! We're trying to be friends; it’s what friends do!"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon paused before sighing, "I don't... what does that mean?" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He felt tired.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Home time, it's home time. I'm going home." He pulls his hook free and begins walking to the hole in the floor.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Benrey said nothing further, following after Gordon into their home in the floor.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Sorry this chapter is a little late we both got kind of busy.</p>
<p>Thank you for all the wonderful comments and kudos! We greatly apricate them all!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Then You Show Your Little Light</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Food. Was Gordon hungry? Had to be... </p><p>The Griillii was "hungry” too, but he would rather use that hunger to fuel his desire to get the borrower sustenance.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sweetvoice Translations:<br/>Teal - needs meal</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Food. Was Gordon hungry? Had to be... </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Griillii was "hungry” too, but he would rather use that hunger to fuel his desire to get the borrower sustenance. Besides, if he ate anything while at this size, he might as well grow back now. A single crumb would be the downfall of his borrower adventures for some amount of time. He was just fortunate he had been fasting for a couple weeks before his encounter with Gordon. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But right now, he wanted to get Gordon food, get him supplies, anything. It was starting to eat away at him ever since he purred earlier. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey, Gordo, you uh... feelin’ peckish? Got the munchies?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The monotonous tone hid his emotions well. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Are you- you hungry?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon glanced back at Benrey when he spoke, not expecting the sudden question.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah." He shrugs, "are you?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He didn't know about Griilliis being like black holes; desiring to constantly consume. He just assumed Benrey was like any other living creature. Sure, he had some weird abilities, but everything needed to eat and sleep.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I have some stuff brought over from, uh, your place for us to eat." Of course it would be mostly crumbs and trail mix, but at Gordon's size it was fine. Maybe not the best of meals, but it was quantity over quality at this point.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When your options are stale crumbs or starvation, you'll usually take the stale crumbs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Benrey swallowed when Gordon asked him about the hunger and then offered food bits. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Always. Always hungry, but it's not like... like the hunger you have.. if that makes sense?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Even though the food items had been gifts from him to Gordon, he wanted to go above and beyond. Those were snacks. Not proper meals. In the Griillii's mind, the borrower only deserved the best. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I could go raid the noob's fridge. See what's poppin' in there." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He offered, unaware that such a feat would sound insane to a borrower.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon frowns at Benrey's first comment. Being constantly hungry would suck, or at least it sounded like it sucked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He then flinched, "what?! No! That'd be suicide dude!" Gordon was panicking a little at the mere thought of going near the fridge. "Do you know how many borrowers get stuck in those things and freeze to death! Or--or get caught!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He took a deep breath to calm himself. "Those things are death traps."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Mmm the cold..." Benrey sighed whimsically, blue calming orbs flying to gently bounce against Gordon's cheek. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It had been a good while since he let himself freeze. He never realized he could shrink down small enough to get inside his own freezer, rather than wait for winter or expend energy traveling further north. As blissful as that thought was, he had a new endeavor he wished to indulge in: helping Gordon. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Calm down, please? It'll be fine. Trust me." Benrey spoke softly, walking over to hesitantly place a large hand on the borrower's shoulder. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You can like, uhh stay here? And I'll be back super super fast. Speed run dinner for Gordon."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The borrower swats the blue orb away when it hits his cheek.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"But..." Gordon sighed, "... promise you'll be okay? I don’t... I don't want you getting killed or some shit."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They had food, but Benrey seemed pretty set on this. "Just... fucking say you'll be safe, and I'll agree."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Benrey lowered down to look Gordon in the eyes with a piercing gaze. He then spoke with a voice of certainty, seriousness, and determination that was rarely ever used by the Griillii. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I promise I will be safe, Gordon."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>No hesitation. No quips. No slang. Not even a butchering of the other's name.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon froze when the other leaned down, his tail stilled as he met the others gaze. The intense eyes sent a shiver down the borrowers spine. He had never seen the expression on the other before, it almost didn't fit them. He couldn't say the usual blank expression was missed but there was almost something playful behind it, not here though. No playful nature, no teasing, nothing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He swallowed a lump in his throat before nodding. "Okay," he breathed. He finally met the other eyes fully.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon shifted nervously under the intense gaze of the other. He wasn't sure if the silence was uncomfortable or not, but it was definitely silence. His mind wandered slightly as they just, well, stared.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The gaze was held for some time till Benrey acted first. Unprompted, he leaned in and planted a lightning quick peck on the borrower's cheek before turning to leave the hole. He didn't bother turning back to see a reaction; Benrey was certain that Gordon's face would be the one thing in the universe that could kill him. Sticking to the walls, he ran off for the kitchen.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eventually Gordon was snapped out of his thoughts by something warm on his cheek. His eyes went wide, and his face flushed. His tail also began wagging. He was frozen during and after the kiss, watching Benrey leave.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Fuck.’</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He eventually leaned against the wall before sliding to the floor. Face still red. Fuck fuck fuckfuckfuck. He didn't know how to respond to that. His chest felt fluttery, his head felt light, fuck.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Meanwhile…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The inside of the mind of the journeying "borrower" felt like a senate courtroom yelling and arguing back and forth with his logical side, emotions, and Griillii instincts.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>'Why did you do that?! Why shouldn't I? You don't know how he feels!! It's fine!! Just play it off as a buddy kiss? Cringe.'</span>
  </em>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Benrey's face kept a blush that burned like a wildfire, the cacophony of thoughts fueling the blaze. He had made it to the kitchen easy-peasy, now staring up at the looming stainless steel smart fridge. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>'Loser can afford a nice high tech fridge but not a nice couch? Fuck that.'</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>All senses were on high alert: the bean could be heard faintly in the bedroom, a hint of clacking and clicking telling Benrey that he was typing busily on the computer.  Perfect. Now how to open this fridge... Being strong enough wasn't an issue, but rather the tact on how to get it open without too much sound or being slammed open hindered his progress. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then an idea struck. The borrower's clothes began to turn liquid; dripping off into itself as if all the fabrics were a single entity, and they were. Benrey melted into an oozing black puddle and began to slip into the pitch-black fridge.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Inside the refrigerator, Benrey solidified to his borrower self. He could see clearly without the light no problem, night vision and glowing eyes and all... He looked around taking note of the items available: cheese; expensive looking wine and relishes; a container of crushed garlic cloves; a storage box filled with leafy greens; a carton of eggs; and a foil covered cylinder that read "ham". </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>'oh fucking poggers!! Ham!!'</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Benrey climbed over to it and ripped the foil off, observing the expensive ham slices. There were about 11 left... surely the bean wouldn't notice if he yeeted off with just one. Solid proof idea. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And he did just that, taking a slice of ham, and rummaging through small leftover containers in the area. He did his best to recover-and-reseal items as he infiltrated the stash. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It pleased his Griillii instincts in two pleasant ways: raiding another being's food stash (a “threatening” being) and doing this all for the person wishes to court, all for the little borrower, all for Gordon... Because this was a serious-serious emotional matter to Benrey, he didn't skimp out on grabbing the most suitable delicacies while obeying the borrower’s code of conduct's rule list. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>In his possession, he had grabbed: the ham slice disc; a smidgen of cheese from a cheddar block; a chunk of bread from the outer slice (apparently the bean was one of those weirdos who kept bread in the fridge); a piece of lettuce from the leafy greens; and finally he had managed to be even more extra and snatched a refrigerated chocolate chip. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>All of these items hinted at a very well put together ham, lettuce, and cheese sandwich for a meal - an expensive ham sandwich at that. Benrey stared at the ingredients and lamented about not being able to go even further, but he understood he needed to get back soon to avoid getting caught and to avoid worrying Gordon.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>'Spoil him with a grand meal when you have more preparation. This will be enough.'</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>The Griillii in him wasn't having it but yielded to fact and logic regardless. He had to remember that Gordon wasn't able to eat a whole bunch. He also had to take into consideration the bulk of what he had collected, while factoring in the reality of not having a fridge themselves to store food in. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Carrying the items back now had a newfound problem. How would he? </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘You only got so many hands, remember? Idiot? Ohhh yeah.’ </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Crisis averted, it seemed. Sprouting new arms to accommodate all the items he'd collected, he made it down to the bottom, and used in-human/in-borrower strength to heave the tight sealed door open by just a crack small enough for him to squeeze through. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>'Fuckin, mom get the camera moment. Victory royale. Let's fucking gooo.'</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>The door closed behind him without a hitch. Then he was off, hurrying across the kitchen and back to the living room to get back to the hole. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>----- </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Just as the Griillii entered the hole, the bedroom door could be heard closing. Deep red heel-boots clicked-and-clicked on the cheap wood floor, an indignant huff leaving the lips of the bored man they belonged to. It was the bean. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pearl John Pennyback hated this mundane hell. Wake up, get dressed, go to work at some dead-end job jewelry store, come home, enjoy not socializing with anyone, and obsess over his writings and "thesis." He had been working on the aforementioned thesis tirelessly these past few days with little-to-no sleep, 3 days of no sleep to be exact. Things were beginning to feel crazy for him - the exact crazy that fueled his musings and mania to begin with. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The little people... The little tiny rat people that haunted and taunted him for years. Them... THEY. They were the reason for him even residing in such a pigsty. They were the reason he was banned from universities. They were the reason he was laughed out of the science community. They had ruined him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Disgruntled by his own perpetual cycle of insanity, Pearl John Pennyback hated this mundane hell. Mundane. Mundane. Maddening. Well at least he had the week off. The jewelry store he worked at had been horrifically “robbed” and law enforcement needed a week to look into 3 accounts of 2nd degree murder and about $30,000 worth of stolen equity. No biggie. Not like they would catch him for it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"My therapist did say I needed to relax more."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pennyback sighed dramatically to himself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span> "Vhat does he know? How can I relax vith mein vork incomplete?" He grumbled, walking to the fridge. It was easily pulled open, the bean reaching in to pull out a glass bottle of Starbucks French vanilla cappuccino, and then slamming the door closed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>For whatever reason, his mind was drawing him to the living room bookcase. Call it a form of Spidey-sense if you will. Like how the little people had a 6th sense for his kind, Pennyback had a sense for their kind. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Time check? Late... The plants - mein precious babies...? Cared for perfectly. The shelves...? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Critical eyes scanned each line of shelves like a hawk. Then he saw it. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘The blue sewing tin... How curious... It's turned around some... I vonder.’</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Pennyback adjusted his square frame glasses to see if he was seeing things right.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>To be sure, and he was always sure, he took the tin off the shelf delicately. Borrower patterns were his specialty after all, he had been learning them for years: they needed things like sewing needles and thread to get by... It just so happens that the needles and thread are items humans- err, beans managed to miss the most, and, therefore, allowed the little rodent men to have at it as they pleased. But not Pennyback. No siree. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It seemed like everything had been returned to its perfect place - a phenomenal and supernatural feat considering Gordon had practically knocked over the damned thing. The tin only seemed so orderly thanks to Benrey. However, one little detail stood out: the scissors were gone, and he was missing 2 needles - he knew because he'd count them every day. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>No tricks. No mistaking it. A predatory shiver went up his spine with glee that bloomed into a disgustingly malicious grin. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pearl John Pennyback couldn't contain his excitement. Doing an excited toe-tapping jig, he placed the tin back and gracefully pranced back to his room, sipping on the drink. Time for some well-deserved sleep. Hopefully, he would not wake to it being all a dream.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>----</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon had eventually stood up from the floor and began pacing the small hole. It would be a lie to say he wasn't worried about Benrey. Benrey seemed to be able to handle himself, with all his weird... abilities, but Gordon tended to worry. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Maybe he got hurt? Or stuck? Should I go get him? Why do I care if he's stuck? Because he's your friend asshole!’</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>"Fuck." He sighed, gripping his hair as he continued to pace. His tail gave small impatient flicks as he did so.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When the Griillii dropped into the hole he let out a relieved sigh. "Shit dude, you had me worried for a second there!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He stopped his pacing and walked over to them, a smile on his face. The smile faltered a little at the sight of his many arms, but it was more so out of confusion than disliking.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"So, how'd it go?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Benrey could smell the worry all the way from the kitchen, the scent increasing tenfold when he approached, and seemingly disappearing with Gordon's sigh when he dropped in. He noted that the borrower hadn't done any organizing or crafting or anything in his absence; the footprints overlapping on the floor told him what he was really doing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Griillii grew bashful, chest flooding with warmth at the prospect of showing off his gifts to the other. Shifting and growing some, the arms adjusted themselves to have all the items in a row to easily display the food to Gordon. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It was uhh... it was pretty </span>
  <em>
    <span>chill</span>
  </em>
  <span>."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Benrey toothily smirked with the pun.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon laughs, his tail happily wagging as he did so.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He then stepped forwards and looked over the items, smiling more. "Shit, you went all out!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Benrey nods. "Got lettuce, cheese, da bread, a chocolate chip," Each item of those were held in one hand and lifted up some when mentioned. "And my epic fave: ham!!" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He concluded with a cheer, two arms having to hold up the ham. (Ham slice was about 2x3 inches in height and width.)</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The borrower laughed more when Benrey held up the ham with two arms, "yeah ham is pretty good."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Things he knew about Benrey: he liked to game, he could change his size, he had many arms, he had weird features (grey skin, sharp teeth), his eyes glow, and he likes ham.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Could make you a uh, a swag meal with all this." Benrey states, looking around the room for a place decent enough to assemble the food. His face fell some, realizing it was all still dirt floor. That would not be poggers at all, having Gordon's food be tainted so disgracefully. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Do you have- like- have something we could assemble the sandwich on?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Um..." Gordon thought before getting an idea, "no, but I can make one."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He grabbed the spool of thread that Benrey had gotten and placed it on its side, he then grabbed his old stitched together blanket and laid it over the spool. The spool acted as a makeshift table and the blanket acted as a tablecloth. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He smiles to himself, "it will work, for now."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Bro, you're so smart. Pro nerd brain over here." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Griillii gaped at the ingenuity displayed before him. He wouldn't have thought about it so quickly like that. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Must be the borrower instincts.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He initially assumed, but figured that Gordon was just that intelligent regardless. The multiple hands moved, making it no hassle to simply place the items on the spool - though he kept hold of the ham slice. While the spool was large like a small table to them, the meat dwarfed the surface area available to them. Holding it would be best for now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Sorry I couldn't get sliced bread nor anything to slice what I- what I got. T.B.H. I think a whole ass slice would, uhh, cover the entrance hole."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The borrower laughs and nods, "that is a lot of food. But we do have something to slice this all with." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon reaches into the bag and pulls out the shiv, a smile on his face. "Suppose testing out a new blade on some ham isn't the coolest way to do it. But it is more practical." He chuckles to himself as he looks the blade over, "almost feels wrong, using something this fancy for mundane work. But currently it’s the only thing we have."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The arms raised the ham slice to cover the sudden blush that started to form on Benrey's cheeks. He knew it would happen sooner or later, but never bothered to prepare himself for when it did; especially wasn't prepared for a small compliment. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I-I mean, if it can’t uhh cut- cut meat or like flesh, then what's the fuckin point, ya know? Don't want- don't want a cringe ass weapon that can't cut shit." </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Dude chill the fuck out. You're not some niko-niko-nee kawaii desu beta-chan fuck that got to give senpai a pen. Be cool, be cool.’ </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>"I can hold it steady for you while you cut off as much as you'd like." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Benrey offers in conclusion.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon smiles, watching Benrey as he raised the ham. Seems he wasn't the only one who hid when complemented.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"That would be helpful, thanks dude." He looks down at the knife before looking at the ham. He was debating how much he wanted to take. "How much are you gonna want?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"O-oh uhh..." Benrey stammered, unsure of how to break it to the borrower. "N-none. Zero. Zip. Nada. Please." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His eyes travelled to the floor in preparation for Gordon's confusion. Outside of their current circumstance, he would have LOVED to accept the food and share with Gordon, making sure none of the ham went to waste and devouring it whole. But sadly, he had to fast.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The borrower frowned when Benrey said no. So an entity that was always hungry didn't want any food? That made no sense!</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Okay? Why not? You can't say you’re not hungry, you already told me you were, like, always hungry." He didn't want to force an answer out of Benrey, but he also wished to understand. The creature, Griillii, whatever, made no sense to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"If I, uhh, eat then it's no more smol Benrey. End of the mini game. Cause like... food go in and then Benrey go-"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Two of the many free arms mimed something small growing way larger than it originally was. A crisp popping sound was made to accentuate it. Benrey looked at Gordon to conclude his less-than-apparent explanation of Griillii growth physics. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Be- be kinda cringe if that happened..."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon paused, thinking over the information quietly. He frowns deeply. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You'll grow bigger if you eat?" He paused before flinching a little, "dude! Are you starving yourself to be this small?!" He was distraught at the idea Benrey had been hurting himself just to hang out with him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"W-well... y-yes to the big thingy. But uhh? No??" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Griillii tried. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Like- it doesn't hurt. 'M always hungry, anyways... eating just makes it go away for a quick brb."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He swallowed some nerves down, more concerned with freaking Gordon out than feeling hungry. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Have to fast - no munchies - if we wanna condense ourselves. Longer we do it, the uhh,, easier it is to stay smaller."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I don't want you hurting yourself just to hang out with me. If this... if this somehow hurts you, fuck, I'm gonna feel like the biggest asshole." He wasn't fully listening to Benrey. His mind more so focused on the idea of the poor creature hurting itself to hang out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You promise it doesn't hurt? There's no negative consequences or anything for... well... fucking starving yourself?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The other shook his head firmly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Super-duper promise it doesn't hurt, bro. I've heard rumors of some old fucks going centuries without eating. Shit's wild." Benrey gives a reassuring grin. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"D-Don't sweat it. I can eat whatever and whenever I please, so it's no problemo.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon paused before sighing and nodding. "Okay."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He then looks back at the ham, ready to cut himself off a piece. He figures it didn't need to be a small piece, but also nothing too big because he was only one borrower. He shifted closer to the ham and got the knife in position, he then glanced at Benrey.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Thanks again for the help"</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Anytime. Anything for you.’</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>"No biggie. Y-you're my buddy. Gotta always help out a pal." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sappy emotions masked yet again and betrayed once more by orbs of pear (I care) softly humming from his mouth. He'll let them slide this time. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The extra arms not holding the ham returned to his body, eyes locking on and watching Gordon finesse his keystone with adoration. He held the meat steady for the other.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon paused before laughing, "gotta help out the homies?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With that said he moves and begins to cut a corner off the ham slice, carefully using the blade. He was surprised by how smoothly it worked. It easily cut through the meat, it worked so well he almost cut his own finger off by moving it too quickly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He didn't though, and managed to stop himself in time. Still, it taught him to not play with the knife. It was far more effective than his old shiv.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Damn. This thing is no joke.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"A whistle was heard from Benrey. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Niiiiccee. Still got it." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was an off-handed comment that he didn't mean to reveal. Didn't want to overload Gordon's mouse-brain with too much Griillii facts. Well, more so he didn't want to out himself as being the borrower's new weapon and tool; he was afraid he'd be tossed for not telling Gordon sooner. He redirected the comment with a musing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"If it cuts meat that good, wonder-- wonder what else it can easily dig into...."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon looks at the blade and nods, "I could probably kill someone with this thing." He chuckles</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He then put the blade down and looked over the slice of ham he had gotten himself, he couldn't hide his smile. "Guess it’s time to make that sandwich now. Thanks again for getting all of this, I've never been brave enough to enter the fridge! Heard too many horror stories."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"They're uhh probably true. It was pretty chilly in there. Epic for me, probably not so much for you." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The entity admitted, cold to below freezing temperatures being his most preferred kind of air. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Ever- ever need anything from there, d'be glad to maybe get it for ya." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He offered, observing the sandwich making progress and taking high key notes of that pure smile. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It felt as if the smile emanated its own light, </span>
  <em>
    <span>like a tiny star</span>
  </em>
  <span>. The Griillii grew hungry only for its light, wanting nothing more than to continuously see it flourish and burn so that he may selfishly indulge in the warmth it provided. Seeing Gordon smile satiated the hunger pangs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I would... probably die." Gordon starts eating the little sandwich he had made for himself. It tasted fucking amazing. When compared to stale crumbs and trail mix, a ham sandwich was a godsend. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His tail happily wags as he eats. He couldn't hide the soft happy purr that left him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Fuck this is good." He laughs, not yet realizing he was purring a little.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dark ears perked up underneath the grey hood from the sounds. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Oh my god he's purring. Holy shit.’ </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Benrey's long tail dragged back and forth on the ground, wagging slowly before inching to curl half-way around the borrower's feet. The tip curled and pressed against the base of the spool. Ham still in hand, Benrey just watched as warmth swelled in his chest from that little laugh. Fuck he was pining hard. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Where would they even put the ham after this...? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"So um... aside from crumbs n shit, what else do you eat? Do you have a favorite food?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He idly asked Gordon, trying to make small talk. This information would be crucial for the Griillii to know, he didn't want to deprive his crush of the good stuff. It's what he deserves.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon paused before thinking. A favorite food? He never really considered it. Didn't have the time to worry about favorites, he'd been focused on survival and nothing else. It wasn't healthy, but it’s what he had to do. He was alone, and being alone made things harder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Uh... we'll. I've only had it a handful of times, but I really like steak! Specifically when it's um... medium rare, I believe."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Getting steak, at his size, was no easy task. Humans tended to clean off their plates with it, and when they didn't there wasn't much left to take. But despite this, all Gordon had ever managed to have was a couple pieces for him to fall in love with the food. The borrower would be lying if he said he wasn't a meat lover.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Bro that's like the best way to have steak. Totally poggers that you like it too... could- we could have a- a steak date, together..." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Uh oh that daydream slipped out, didn't it? Benrey smirked, leaning against the spool like a sly guy at a bar. Idle fingers fiddled with the outer skin on the ham. So tempting to just eat it to get it out of the way. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Have a fun ole time, just eatin' together. Sitting, and talking, and sitting...."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon paused before blushing. He tucks a little bit of hair behind his ear. "Uh, yeah. I mean I guess at some point we could? If... if we ever got our hands on some steak, that is."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fuck. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Did he just agree to go on a date with Benrey?? He hadn't thought much about his answer, but now that it was out there he felt his face grow warm with even more blush. His tail wags as well. Shit. He should have thought that through more.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>To say Benrey was surprised would be an understatement. The same shared thought echoing in his mind as well.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Woah did he just agree to a dinner date with me??? Niiiiccee.’ </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh- uh- uh- yeah!! Duh, need the steak for it to be a steak </span>
  <em>
    <span>date</span>
  </em>
  <span>." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Benrey stressed the word to double-check, unsure if he heard the first decision clearly or if he was just delusional by his hopes and prayers to Bikriin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon rubs his neck and nods, feeling himself blush.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Be hard to have a steak date with no steak, pretty sure that’d just be a regular old date." He chuckles.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Not... not that a regular date is bad or anything!" Fuck, now he's nervously rambling, "I'm sure it be lovely. But steaks just, um, better?" God he should just fucking shut up. "Meaning that a steak date would be better than a normal date? I guess?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fuck the ham, Gordon was more interesting. Yeeting the meat onto his back like the scissors, he fixed it out of the way while the borrower rambled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He HAD to hear this. And listen he did, each word fueling the playful look on his face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Brooo, are you implying we could have more than just- just the steak date? ~"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Benrey probed flirtatiously. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Like- like- like- isn’t that... uhhh... don't they call that dating?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Griillii's eyes were half lidded and staring Gordon down, a hand resting under his chin in faux pondering.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon lifts his scarf back up to cover his face, feeling himself blush more. "I-I guess?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He swallowed a lump in his throat, took a deep breath, then continued, "y... you go on multiple dates before you start dating. Like, two or three I'm sure. It's uh... it's based on how those dates go that you decide if your, um, dating." He shrugs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His tail had slowed down as he explained it, he tried to focus on that and not his red face or flirtatious friend.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh shit. Like fuckin' placement matches for competitive. To see if you’re a bronze noob or grand master sexyman." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Benrey stated in his own weird gamer way of comprehending. Seeing Gordon hide behind the scarf prompted him to continue. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I getchu I getchu..... You all right? Got that tomato look again, hmm? Secretly a were-tomato or sumthin'?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon opts to ignore the first comment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I’m-- I'm not a fucking tomato. I just... blush a lot when I'm embarrassed, or something." Not his best excuse, but he wasn't about to give Benrey the satisfaction of him outright saying they made him blush.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With the others playful looks and teasing nature Gordon could see that if he out right said it, it would only lead to more teasing. He figured he could try and end that here with a distraction.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Anyway, I should probably start getting this place set up. Don't want to sleep on the floor when night time comes."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Griillii's playfulness fell back to a neutral expression. He shouldn't be distracting the other like this, he should be helping. Nodding, Benrey stood up straight, ready to assist Gordon with whatever he needed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Right. Right. Yeah. I can uhh help... help with decking this place out." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Be kinda ass if the ham went bad. Little dude barely ate from it. It's not like they had anything to refrigerate it and save it for later... Wait-’ </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The realization smacked Benrey in the face. Oh duh! An arm formed on his back discreetly and pushed the ham slice seamlessly into his body, disappearing without a trace. Fuck yeah... </span>
</p><p>
  <span>However, the Griillii was met with a new annoyance. Ghetsis, I can fucking taste it. Any urge to salivate got pushed down and translated into a teal sweet voice that sang its way out automatically. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I-ignore that... S'not important-- just-- lead the way Feetman."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Uh, okay? And don't call me that."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon decided to start with one of the more difficult tasks, setting up his bed. Using the scraps he had collected he began to build a frame, just something to hold all the soft fuzzy bits that will make up the mattress. It took some time, getting everything together and having it actually stay together using only string, but with some patience and help it eventually got done.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Normally Gordon would then work on the mattress, but with his blanket now acting as a tablecloth, plus it was old anyways, he needed a new one. This he could do himself, he grabs a mix of different fabrics and sews them together, creating two squares of mix matched fabrics. Using one of his brand-new sewing needles he sewed the two pieces together, sewing down all the sides but one. Using the one open side he stuffed some loose fluff into the blanket. Finally with that done he sewed the blanket closed completely.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He let out a tired sigh before grinning, almost done with the bed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He grabs any remaining fluff and soft nonsense he had and puts it into the bed frame he had built, making sure to get an even spread of soft nonsense. He didn't want it to be lumpy or hard on one side. With the mattress made Gordon then placed the blanket over it and grins.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It wasn't a perfect bed, not by a long shot, but the borrower felt accomplished anyway. He dusts himself off.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Task one, completed." And it only took what, an hour or two?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A slow clap echoed in the tiny room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Niiiiccee. Pretty sick, bro." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Benrey stood there applauding the borrower's handy work. He had been watching the entire fucking time that Gordon worked on the bed, not really doing anything - much to the Griillii's internal chagrin. Not his fault that Gordon didn't command him to do anything, plus he didn't know anything about furnishing an apartment or room or even how to make things. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had been fortunate enough for his current apartment to be furnished by Tommy and his dad; despite both the dad and Benrey himself insisting to Tommy that the entity would be “just fine” without furnishings. It was a futile attempt from both parties, after all, no one ever said no to Tommy. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Pretty poggers, mouse-man."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon looks over when Benrey claps, he paused, right, fuck, he had almost forgotten about the other.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I mean..." He rubs his neck and chuckles, "it’s not bad. I've seen better." He shrugs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I think what we need to do next is set up some shelving or something. A place to put everything cause otherwise it’s just gonna sit on the dirt floor... think you could help with that?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Sure- what- um... What do I need to grab for that? Don't really know... how?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Benrey tried, listening for the other's instructions with a blank face that leaked mild confusion.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well... the best things to get would be large wood splinters, toothpicks, that sort of thing. We could use string to tie it together, maybe even tape if we found some. Putting it together would be pretty easy, I'd mostly just need you to help me hold the pieces in place while I would secure it."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had tried to build a shelf before all on his own, it didn't go well. He cut himself more than once on the wood splinters and almost got stuck in his own threads.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh, but be careful with the splinters, shit can hurt if you get cut by it."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yes siiiirrr. Wanna come with? Or ya gonna hang here? Be... be cool if you came... idontknowwheretoothpicksare" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Benrey mumbled the last part under his breath as he looked down at the ground. He was certain he could just go out and find it on his own eventually, though it would probably take a long time... being so small and all. Plus he wanted an excuse to not leave Gordon by himself again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I can come with, and toothpicks are... usually in bathrooms? Bathrooms or living rooms?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon smiles at Benrey, not minding the fact that Benrey didn't know where something was. Despite Gordon's somewhat anti-social nature he loved being able to help people.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Benrey was in Black Mesa, scientists would berate him for not knowing things about the world. Especially when it came to things they had taught him multiple times... Information slipped so easily. It had annoyed him more so hurt, but still, it was refreshing to have kindness given. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Ohhh. Makes sense. I mean, I've never- never used them myself... so uhh... yeah." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Benrey admitted, nervously rocking back and forth on the balls of his heels. His tail swayed behind him when he caught Gordon's smile despite the blank expression.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's fine, I haven't used them like they’re supposed to be used." Gordon paused, "I don't think I use most things like there meant to."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He walks past Benrey, grabs his bag, then begins exiting the hole. Time to go find the supplies for a shelf!</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With the food items safely stored inside the Griillii, Benrey followed suit, ready to help Gordon with their new home.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Picture of Pennyback: https://prince-aster.tumblr.com/post/632905931698667520/never-had-the-need-to-post-him-until-now-since</p><p>Thank you everyone for your kudos and comments!!! We are so happy you all like this rp so far.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Twinkle, Twinkle, All The Night</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>From that day on, the two borrowers survived together in the apartment of a crazed biologist.</p><p>They did almost everything together: ate (except for Benrey of course), explored, collected, organized, created... Everything except sleeping together on account of Benrey not sleeping ever. </p><p>Those days together turned into weeks; weeks turned into months; a little over 3 months to be exact. The small dirt hole now resembled a tiny one room home as opposed to a cave with a dirt floor. It was filled with useful tools, constructed furniture, and a fluffy nest of thick blankets to keep the chill of winter out.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sweetvoice Translations:<br/>Pink to Blue - I love you</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>From that day on, the two borrowers survived together in the apartment of a crazed biologist.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They did almost everything together: ate (except for Benrey of course), explored, collected, organized, created... Everything except sleeping together on account of Benrey not sleeping ever. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Those days together turned into weeks; weeks turned into months; a little over 3 months to be exact. The small dirt hole now resembled a tiny one room home as opposed to a cave with a dirt floor. It was filled with useful tools, constructed furniture, and a fluffy nest of thick blankets to keep the chill of winter out. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon and Benrey had everything they needed - everything except food. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>---</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hurry up, feetmannnnnn~" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loaded with borrowing gear and working as the duo's pack mule, Benrey called out to his borrowing partner who lagged behind some. His impatience wasn't sincere, but rather playful and whiny with the hopes of getting a rise out of the other. The feelings for the man hadn't diminished in the slightest; in fact, they had grown ten-fold in the few months he spent with him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm coming asshole! Be patient." Gordon adjusted the bag on his shoulder before jogging a little to catch up with the other.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon had enjoyed the past few months a lot more than he'd like to admit. Being able to talk with someone proved to be much better than talking to yourself. Even if that someone was Benrey. He both loved and hated the constant teasing and banter. Benrey somehow managed to piss him off and make him wheeze with laughter. It was odd, but fun.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He also found himself feeling a little... well... warm around the other. He didn't want to think he had a crush on some otherworldly entity, but the possibility was there. He opted to ignore it though. Sure, the awkward flirting almost always got him flustered, but it never moved beyond that. It was always just jokes, so he figured that's all it meant to Benrey. Just jokes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Wanna know what we should do when we get home?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Benrey asked, sitting on the edge of the counter they had been running across. Down below a dangerous drop gave its sirens call to those foolish enough to stare long enough; in this regard the Griillii is deaf to its call. He swung his legs absent-mindedly while facing away from Gordon. Once a short-handed reply was given, he continued.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Should- we should, uhh… cuddle."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>For the past week Benrey had been offering and asking to cuddle subtly. The sudden need was being driven by his affections for the borrower and need to protect him from everything, especially the cold of winter. He wasn't blind, he started to see Gordon shiver in his sleep despite the copious amounts of blankets.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon laughed off the comment, assuming it was just a joke, like always. Though he blushed at the thought of cuddling the other, Gordon didn't want to say yes only to be mocked or teased. He could almost hear the Griillii's laughter as he said something stupid like 'bro that's gay'.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Dude be careful, you're gonna fall." Hide the blush under concern. He figured something like that wouldn't hurt Benrey, he wasn't sure anything could hurt the other, but it would give Gordon a fucking heart attack.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He made sure to also keep some small distance between the edge and himself. The idea of falling to his death didn't please him. He had no issue with how high up they were, Gordon didn't fear heights. Gordon feared the free fall that came afterwards, he feared reckless action that could get himself or someone else killed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Benrey glanced back shyly and then looked back down, legs halting their rhythm. "Bro, I've... I've already fallen..." He murmured.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon paused, almost missing the other’s words. His ears perked up a little to hear them better.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What do you mean you've already fallen? Did you fall off the counter at some point without me noticing?" He walked a little closer, he sounded annoyed but there was an underlying worry. If Benrey had already gotten himself hurt without Gordon's notice, he was gonna feel like an absolute piece of shit.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I've um... I've already fallen... for... for you." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Griillii's tail swished on the counter shyly. With his back turned he was able to hide the soft grin, blush, and nervous fidgeting of his claws.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It took Gordon a moment to process what was being said, his ears still perked up while his tail began wagging behind him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Oh.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Oh shit.’</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon wasn't sure how to process or respond to that. Since he couldn't see Benrey's face it was a little hard to tell if the man was joking or not, but he figured by the small shy flicks of the others tail, they were probably being truthful. Gordon’s face was red, he knew that. When someone you've borderline been crushing on for a month confesses to you, it’s a little hard to handle.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But it’s always been a joke, why would now be any different? Is he just fooling around? Is this all some elaborate prank?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shit. He should probably say something. But fucking what??? He ran a hand through his hair as he tried to process everything. "I.. uh..." He took a deep breath, "dude, I can barely tell if you're joking with me or not. I need a straight answer, do you like me?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Blush colored spheres of light and unknown liquid sang from the other in a minor chord pitch. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Shit was this too sudden??? Of course it is, idiot... Is it?’</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He should be confident that he's finally able to tell Gordon flat out how he feels - how he has felt for months - yet... The worry remained ever present in his mind. They had lived together for months; however it still didn't get rid of the potential of Gordon leaving or even saying that he'd had enough of Benrey's bullshit and kick him out. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Benrey didn't intend for that flirtatious comment to lead to him being put on the hot seat. If he said “no” that would ruin everything... It would cement it in the borrower's mind that it was just a prank, bruh... but if he said “yes”... what then? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The nerves bundling up inside began manifesting eyes on his face in an automatic form of internal self-defense, claws sharper, and fangs jabbing into his gums. His grin had fallen, and blush increased on his suddenly pensive demeanor. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Bro- Bro- I-- I can't give a straight answer.... I'm gay."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon felt his tail wagging behind him, part of hoping for some sort of confession. He couldn't hide the blush on his face as he thought about Benrey saying he liked him, Gordon saying they liked him back. Maybe they'd plan a date together, maybe laugh about how long they've both avoided it, who knows! The thoughts in his head caused butterflies to fill his stomach.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And then those butterflies died.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He blinks, staring at Benrey at the response. He knew it was supposed to be funny, just another joke. That's all they seemed to do, joke. It was always just a fucking joke. His tail stopped wagging as his ears lowered. He forced himself to look away from Benrey. Gordon forced a laugh, it was a joke, that's how you're supposed to respond to a joke. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It wasn't an outright no, it confirmed that Benrey was gay, but it was a very subtle rejection. He was gay, but he didn't like Gordon, at least he didn't say he did. Gordon could take a hint. He pinched the bridge of his nose and took a deep breath, "fucking... forget I asked. We... I should start heading back. Drop some of this stuff off, ya ‘know?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wouldn't look at Benrey, he was more focused on taking deep breaths. Don't cry Gordon, don't cry. So what he doesn't like you back? You can just stay friends, nothing wrong with that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A horrible scent alerted Benrey's senses that he fucked up. It wasn't delicious like fear nor citrusy like happiness... It was the most putrid thing the Griillii could ever hope to smell from his crush: the smell of despair. He knew his answer wasn't flat out and direct - bluntness wasn't his specialty - though he had at least hoped that for just this once the borrower would read him clearly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He needed to turn around. He needed to right this wrong... At least alleviate it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wh- hUH???”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Benrey stammered out, finding the strength to twist himself around and stare up at the borrower. His multiple eyes looked panicked, tears prickling at some ends. His claws had managed to pierce into the counter effortlessly - needing to dig them into something to keep him grounded.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon glanced at Benrey only to freeze at the sight of the multiple eyes. Well, he more so froze because of the tears in the other’s many eyes, rather than the eyes themselves. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I-I... ah... I was just saying we should head back? Is... Is something wrong?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He forced away his own tears, not wanting to cry in front of the other, especially when they suddenly seemed so distressed. Had... had he done something wrong? He figured if Benrey wouldn't give him a 'straight' answer that meant the other wanted to drop the conversation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He didn't expect this.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Benrey's lips pursed, his two main eyes looking away while the others betrayed him, keeping their gaze on Gordon. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Sss... s'not... I," he tried to form words, a sentence that should be 'it's not a prank bruh' but he just couldn't manifest it. Sweet voice that faded from pink to blue floated up at Gordon in place of the words he wanted to express oh so badly. English had left his vocabulary in this emotional state. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Please understand, dear Ghetsis please use that fucking intelligent nerd brain of yours. They rhyme. The color- It fucking rhymes.’</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon shivers a little under the gaze of the many, many eyes. It wasn't the first time he'd been stared at, but it still made him nervous.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He didn't understand the sweet voice, not like Tommy did, not at all in fact. He just knew it was something the creature did at times and that sometimes it was different colors. What he saw was Benrey struggling to speak and some of his eyes avoiding his gaze.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon sighs, "you... you don't have to say it. I got it. It's fine," he didn't understand, he still thought he was being rejected. "L-look, I'll give you some time alone. I should... I should go drop my stuff off..." He glanced away for a moment before he reached into the bag. The borrowing hook was placed then by Benrey. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Feel free to come back whenever you’re ready, I can get down without it."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With that the borrower turned heel and began walking away. It's been a while since he made it up or down a counter without his hook, but he was sure he could do it.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘The hook??? I don't need this- he- he does--’</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>The emotions boiling inside the Griillii didn't allow for any verbal communication that was of this world. Sweet voice was one of his native languages, though it was more pleasant and easier for Earthlings to comprehend. Not scary. Not like the ancient tongue... No sir... Regardless, the colors green to black whined out of his mouth (please come back) but to his dismay, the borrower was long gone. He was frozen, unable to give chase nor move from his spot.. He needed... He needed another way. Something that mixed song and English together - a beautiful mix of the meaning of sweet voice and the sounds it created. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>That was one thing that impressed him about humans here on Earth; they had tapped into their own special form of sweet voice that could be vaguely translated in Benrey's mind. It was then that a brilliant idea wormed its way in. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘The phone... The cellular device- that shit has music and YouTubes on it. Bro, you should play Gordon a song!!’ </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>More eyes appeared and a grin broke through the sadness to display the newfound giddiness in this marvelous idea. The Griillii melted into ooze and like a fast shadow, shot into the ground and flew across the surface of the floor, leaving the apartment for his own. This was gonna be good... Gordon would totally understand now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It took a bit of work, but Gordon managed to safely get himself down from the kitchen counter. He felt crushed. Hurt. But he understood, he had to. Even if Benrey didn't like him back it didn't mean their friendship was over, they just needed some space.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once down from the counter Gordon adjusts his bag and starts his walk back to the living room where his home was located.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wasn't paying much attention, more so focused on trying to not feel sorry for himself. If he were smarter he would know it’s important to always pay attention, to always be focused because you never know what's going to happen. But right now? Gordon didn't care. The only thing he really cared about was getting over the crushed feeling in his stomach.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe going home and crying would help? He didn't know.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Whatever.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He'll figure it out once he's home. </span>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>But home never came.</em>
  </b>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>:0! Surprise chapter! This week there will be three chapter updates. Today, Wednesday, and Friday (hopefully).</p><p>We thank you for your support and consider this a warning, the next few chapters get a little graphic, tags will be updated as needed.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Then The Traveler In The Dark</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>:)</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Short little update chapter from the last one :3c </p>
<p>I must warn you before you proceed that there is bloodshed and the first amputation occurs. Also, Pennyback is just awful. </p>
<p>-----<br/>no sweet voice translations yet. :(</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b> <em>But home never came.</em> </b>
</p>
<p>From the shadows of his lament, large pale fingers come from nowhere and harshly grab the borrower. The fingers were smaller and rougher than Benrey's had ever been, grasping tightly like a hawk with its prey. </p>
<p>"Ohohohoho~" </p>
<p>Came a sinister laugh from the giant. Gordon was plucked off the ground at a dizzying speed, the giant not caring about vertigo or the state of disarray it would cause the other. The hand turned him around, intense and manic red eyes meeting brown and green ones. Despite not having sharp teeth like a Griillii, the grin Pennyback bore could easily rival the entity's.</p>
<p>"Zhe little man has finally gotten comfortable in mein haus, ja? Tsk tsk tsk," He sneered with condescending pity. The German accent oozed with malicious intent. "Und to zhink his little friend isn't vith him... Tragic~"</p>
<p>Gordon flinched and screamed when lifted. It took him a minute to comprehend what had even happened. One second he was on his way home and the next he found himself being held by a bean.</p>
<p>"Vhere didz he go? Hmm? ~ Ah~ No matter. If I can't have two, zhen one vill be just enough."</p>
<p>
  <em> ‘Shit shit shit.’ </em>
</p>
<p>Gordon got over the shock and quickly began struggling against the hand that held him, his tail giving annoyed flicks as his ears pressed against his head. "L-LET ME GO ASSHOLE!" He demanded, glaring into the others terrifying red eyes. </p>
<p>
  <em> ‘Keep it together Gordon, don't panic now.’ </em>
</p>
<p>Pennyback stared in amusement at the other's defiance.</p>
<p>"Ohh so brave~ Feisty. Loovvve it!!" He sang before his demeanor fell to a cold and serious one. </p>
<p>"Since you asked so nicely." </p>
<p>The hand holding Gordon let go, letting the borrower fall. It was a quick 3ft drop that led straight into the bean's other hand. A cackle echoed in the room. </p>
<p>"Mein Gott, jou are SO hilarious!!! Really, I'm in tears. Oh too much- too much--" Pennyback jeered, the hand Gordon had once been in wiped away crocodile tears.</p>
<p>Gordon screams when dropped, hitting the other hand before groaning a little in pain. The end of his tail had poofed up, much like a cat might. His ears were pressed flat against his head. </p>
<p>He frowns deeply before looking over the edge of their hand. Fuck. Could he survive a drop like that? He didn't know and it made him feel sick.</p>
<p>"Y-Your fucking crazy!" He looks back up at Pennyback, a hand reaching into his bag as he did so.</p>
<p>The giant let out a surprised gasp.</p>
<p>"Oh!!! Vhy zhank jou!! I've been told zhat many many times!! Gosh I'm blushing here- to zhink zhe thing I've been called CRAZY for is calling me crazy too!!! Aaaa hahaha~" </p>
<p>He rambled, doing an excited jig with the ending laugh - feet lightly stepping in place in rapid succession. He failed to notice what Gordon was doing, legs beginning to carry them to his bedroom. </p>
<p>"Jou know, I might have just zhe perfect little cage for jou. Maybe after I show jou off to my 'colleagues' I'll be able to run some tests!! Oh vouldn't zhat be fun!!! I can’t wait~"</p>
<p>Gordon figures that drop would be better than ending up some experiment. The damage that could be done to borrower society if word about them got out would cripple the species. He couldn't let that be his fault. </p>
<p>He pushed back in the hand that held him, pulling the knife out of his bag. He tried to keep steady, but he was shaking like crazy thanks to fear and his anxiety.</p>
<p>"Fuck off!" He planned to just stab a finger like he had done to Benrey with his old shiv, get them shocked enough to drop him.</p>
<p>He swung the blade down with as much force as he could manage and found far less resistance than he expected. Far too little. He couldn't stop the momentum he had built up. He couldn't stop as the knife dug in just above the bean’s second knuckle and kept going down. </p>
<p>He couldn't stop it - the small shiv managing to slice off the upper part of the man's pointer finger.</p>
<p>Maybe Pearl John Pennyback had lost it that badly to not register the pain or maybe it was from how clean a cut the blade had made. But in a sick form of coincidence, the second the bean closed the bedroom door behind him just - the finger fell off. </p>
<p>The appendage made a small fleshy thud on the floor below. This caused him to pause, stopping any words that were about to come out as he glanced from his finger, to the borrower, to his finger again. </p>
<p>For years he had prepared to get stabbed in the fingers, palm, wrist, anywhere that a little person might be able to reach with a decent enough weapon; the scars of pin pricks and needles littered across his skin proved so. However, nothing could have ever prepared him for THAT. </p>
<p>The borrower stared in horror at the severed finger, blood from the wound getting onto his orange scarf and tunic. He barely registered what was being said as he was carried. He tried to push himself away from the bleeding finger, his hand squeezing the shiv.</p>
<p>Not an ounce of anger, not a reaction, nothing. The bean was eerily silent, blood gushing from his finger as he casually strolled to his desk. With one hand he took the dagger from Gordon and placed it next to an open cage. He then sat down and shoved the borrower into the enclosure, locking the door behind. </p>
<p>Gordon flinched when shoved into the cage, barely noticing that the blade had been removed from his grasp. When he hit the floor of the cage some items from his bag spilled out, specifically his book, jar of water, and some string. Gordon was shaking, pushing himself to his knees as his eyes stared down at his blood covered tunic.</p>
<p>He did that.</p>
<p>".... Jou know.... I zhought ve could have been good friends- GREAT friends..."</p>
<p>Pearl spoke with a soft tone that did not match the boiling rage within. His attention fixed on stopping the bleeding. </p>
<p>"But I believe zhat opportunity has been decimated... As much as I vould love to dissect you, eat jou, or simply crush jou beneath mein heel-boot, it vould be such a vaste to lose yet anozher specimen..." </p>
<p>It took a while, but Pennyback had managed to successfully stop the bleeding and wrap the injury up with precise first aid; perks of having dabbled in the medical field in college. </p>
<p>"So..." He started again, eyes looking up to pierce through the borrower's fast-beating heart. "I have a new proposition." </p>
<p>An evil grin ripped across his face while he grabbed the tiny Griillii dagger between his other thumb and index finger.</p>
<p>The borrower’s eyes then stared at the bean, watching as they patched up the finger. Color began draining from his face when he noticed the grin. He pushed himself away from the other, his back hitting the wall of the cage.</p>
<p>"I-I didn't mean to! I'm s-sorry!" Gordon interrupts, begging as tears stream down his face. But his cries were ignored.</p>
<p>"Auge um Auge, Zahn um Zahn, - err, eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth- as zhey say~" The bean purred, eyeing the blade over. "Well... in zhis case, I zhink an arm would do just nicely~"</p>
<p>
  <em> ‘The bean wanted to cut off his arm?! That would be a death sentence! No borrower would manage to survive anywhere while missing a limb, especially one that was all alone. Shit. He never should have left Benrey on the counter, he never should have dropped his hook. This was so fucking bad.’ </em>
</p>
<p>"Y-You can't do this!" Gordon choked on a sob.</p>
<p>"Oh? ~ I can’t? ~" </p>
<p>Those words were familiar, a similar response to the borrower's challenge. </p>
<p>"Watch me." </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>:( </p>
<p>see you Friday</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Thanks You For Your Tiny Spark</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A large smartphone seemed to be moving on its own across the thin carpeted floor. One would be foolish to assume it was the work of a poltergeist and not the tiny "borrower" carrying it on his back. Benrey had been gone for only 10 minutes from the moment he and Gordon went separate ways, completely unaware of the horrors occurring in the apartment they resided in.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Trigger warning for blood, violence, amputation, body horror and spaghettification. </p><p>Sweetvoice Translations:<br/>Grey to Purple - this isn't what I wanted<br/>Yellow to Azure - safe and secure</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>In the hallway of the apartment complex, a large smartphone seemed to be moving on its own across the thin carpeted floor. One would be foolish to assume it was the work of a poltergeist and not the tiny "borrower" carrying it on his back. Benrey had been gone for only 10 minutes from the moment he and Gordon went separate ways, completely unaware of the horrors occurring in the apartment they resided in.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Upon returning to his apartment, the Griillii returned to "normal" size to search for the cellular device. It would have taken too long if he searched for it as a borrower.  Luckily, it had been right where he had last left it - on the bar counter - and doubly lucky that it had a decent amount of charge left; despite not having been used in months. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Hmm... should probably bring a portable charger and the cord. Be real cringe if it died in the middle of the song.’ </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He thought ahead, wanting nothing to interrupt his confession.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taking most of the 10 minutes time, Benrey had collected his phone, his charger, some earbuds, and a small portable battery that the two could potentially use as a make-shift-hard couch. He couldn't wait to show Gordon the Frank Sinatra song he had in mind. He preloaded the song on his YouTube app, shut the device off, and made his way to the door. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Elton the skeleton had taken notice of Benrey's shenanigans, re-emerging from the black-door insulation to observe himself leaving the other apartment and entering their domain WITHOUT Gordon. He had a bad feeling about Benrey even being gone for so long... Was Gordon okay??? Where was he??? How dare Benrey leave him vulnerable. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fueled by the pure instinct to protect and watch over Gordon at all costs, Elton ran to Pennyback's apartment and phased through the door pronto. Need to get to Gordon.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Leaving the apartment while humming the song, Benrey had just missed Elton's urgent pursuit. With a different goal in mind, he returned to his borrower size to carry the phone while the charger, buds, and battery had been stuffed inside his void of a body. Didn't need those two getting in the way either, plus it would've been more cumbersome to carry all the parts and not just the phone. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Elton reached Pennyback's room first, only able to hide in the shadows and watch... He couldn't do anything at this size, Benrey hadn't granted him much mass. If he got squashed he would have to return to Benrey's mass, unable to reform until the Griillii willed as such. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>---- </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Benrey had made it to the couch when he smacked his lips. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘What is Gordon cutting into...? Meat- wait no it's metallic-- blood???’ </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He hurried his pace and jumped into the hole.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Feetman what the fu-" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Griillii froze in place, receiving a sudden stark upon not immediately seeing the borrower in their home. He pushed his phone aside onto the floor.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"G-Gordon...?" He tried, hoping Gordon would materialize out of thin air. He didn't. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Shit. The kitchen. Did he get hurt in the kitchen!?’ </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>The sudden frantic thought had Benrey depositing everything out of his body before he high tailed it out of the hole, making a mad dash for the kitchen. His "heart" pounded as multitudes of eyes began to appear on his face, starting to reach down his neck. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Searching high and low, he scoured every corner of the kitchen with rapid speed, not finding Gordon anywhere. Panic began to flood his system. Where is he- where- Gordon- </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was about to call out to the borrower when a sickeningly-sweet-and-coppery taste and a blood curdling scream from the bedroom assaulted his senses. Instant dread filled him to the core as the crimson blood he tasted was coughed up and spat out.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Th-that tasted like- that sounded like--’</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Upon the realization of who he had just tasted and from where he heard scream come from, the Griillii saw red.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>---</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon had struggled as best he could against Pennyback. He kicked, screamed, punched, thrashed, he did everything he could to try and escape the others hold. But he couldn't break free. Pennyback, while not as big as Benrey was when they first met, still dwarfed the borrower. Even while missing a finger the other had an iron grip on him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He screamed when the other began removing his arm, it was loud and blood curling. Tears had started streaming down his face. His ears pressed against his head and his tail tucked itself between his legs, exactly like a wounded animal might do.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had screamed throughout the entire process, his lungs hurt because of this. Of course his lungs weren't the only thing that hurt.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Green and brown eyes were now locked onto the severed limb. His vision was foggy from tears, but he could still clearly make out the blood leaking from the massive wound. He felt sick, but he couldn't drag his eyes away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He felt horrified.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>No borrower would survive like this. Gordon knew if he didn't die of blood loss he was still fucked. He couldn't climb without his arm, he couldn't build, couldn't scavenge, nothing. He could do nothing. He was a dead man.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The thoughts only brought more tears to his eyes. He couldn't stop his sobbing. He cried out like a wounded animal; eyes fixated on the bleeding shoulder as he was pinned face-down on the mahogany desk.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He didn't notice Elton or Pennyback. He just sobbed. He sobbed and grew light headed from blood loss and pain. He could very well pass out, which wouldn't make much of a difference to him. He was dead no matter what happened to him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But he knew Pennyback was near. He could almost see the sinister grin on their face through his tear covered gaze. Despite all his pain he managed to choke out one last insult to the bean that had just killed him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Y-y-you’re a m-monster."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hmm? ~ Nein, I zhink you're mistaken. Jou see. I'm a biologist. Stop jour screaming. Such a baby, really." The bean heartlessly retorted, more annoyed from the crying than feeling any remorse for the tiny man. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He placed the blade down, lifted his finger off Gordon, and reached for a jar of formaldehyde, dropping the severed arm into it. The lid was almost back on when the bedroom door was obliterated with a powerful kick. The sudden intrusion made the horrible man yelp in surprise and drop the jar to the ground. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Vhat zhe fu-" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A choking sound croaked out of his throat when a black tendril wrapped around his throat and violently yanked him back out of his chair and onto the floor. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>There in the doorway loomed a large and enraged Benrey. Multiple eyes ran across his melting body, his hair a pitch black mass of tendrils that began to crawl and bleed into the room around them, his hands - many hands - were sharp talons, and his fangs pierced out of his mouth - razor sharp and stained with the blood of the man he loved. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seizing the moment, Elton left his place in the shadows and made a B-line for Gordon. The skeleton took the Borrower in his boney arms and began to sing, directing colorful orbs of teal to green at the bloodied stump that was once Gordon's arm. If skeletons could cry, Elton would be bawling his eyes out.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Please don't pass out. We're here Gordon, we're here.’ </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Through Elton's memories, Benrey saw everything that Pennyback did to Gordon. It replayed in the Griillii's mind over and over making him lose hold of himself more and more, ready to obliterate the bug held in his grasp.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The human had no means of comprehending what the fuck was happening. Who was this?! WHAT WAS THIS?! </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"WHAT THE--" The tendril choked Pennyback. "ZHE FUCK ARE YOU. wH-WHAT DO JOU VANT FROM MEE?!!!" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>An unholy growl trembled the room, shutting Pennyback up promptly. Benrey bared his teeth at the human, moving further into the room. The tendril holding Pennyback wrapped further around the man's body and constricted before slamming him into the wall on the opposite side. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Griillii turned his attention away from the struggling human to kneel and lower himself down to where Elton and Gordon were on the desk. All his eyes lost their blood thirsty look and adopted a gaze of pain, concern, and worry. Benrey didn't want to speak, knowing if he tried to right now it would be in ancient tongue and it would probably scare Gordon further. Instead, the beast whimpered, tiny beads of grey to purple bleeding out of his mouth. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Elton rested his skull on Gordon's head, sitting on the desk with the injured borrower in his boney lap, the heal beam continuing.The borrower watched as his severed arm was removed from his sight. He couldn't bring himself to move, but he heard what Pennyback was saying and he heard the man doing something.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was currently facing away from the door and at a wall, so he heard the choked cries of the other man but didn't see what was happening.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It didn't matter. He was already dead.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He couldn't find the strength in him to move. At least until a familiar, but still kind of scary skeleton entered his view. He felt himself being slightly lifted and looking up at them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I... you..." He recognized them but didn't know their name. He quietly watches as they begin to wrap-up his arm  in the sweet voice. His brows furrowed a little in confusion.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe if he had the energy he would be more afraid. Being held by a skeleton, seeing the room go dark with weird tendrils, hearing the screams of a crazed bean. It was all terrifying. But for some reason Gordon couldn't bring himself to be anything more than in pain.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I-I know you..." His voice was weak, strained from screaming. Tears still rolled freely down his face. Green and Brown eyes were focused on the skeleton as his mind tried to block out the sound of Pennyback's screaming.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eventually he turns his head and notices a large and terrifying looking Benrey. If he had the energy to be afraid he would be. He blinks slowly, feeling even more tired from blood loss.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"B... B... Benrey...?" His vision was still fuzzy due to his tears, unable to fully make out the entity. Despite this his hand, his only hand, reached out towards the Griillii. Wanting to know if he was real or an illusion caused by blood loss.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>In fact, was any of this real or all just his blood loss making him see things?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>If he had the energy to ask he might have. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Instead the borrower leans into Elton as his little hand reaches out to Benrey.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The eyes fixated on the movement and registered the gesture. It broke Benrey's heart, the multitude of eyes leaking tears. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A large shaky claw placed itself on the table, the index finger blunting itself to be round and safe to touch the other with. It hovered close, Elton gazing up at Benrey with a critical and defensive aura, despite the skeleton being a part of Benrey. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>More tears fell from all the eyes upon making contact with Gordon's hand. Yellow to Azure orbs replacing the previous song in a minor chord. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘He feels so cold... He's so small... My little star, you've grown so dim.’ </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Instinctively, the finger moved after a moment of holding the other's hand and pressed itself lightly on Gordon's chest and body. It was a bastardized hug meant to comfort and check the other's vitals. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Cold... but alive.’</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon smiles when he felt the finger make contact with his hand, giving it a weak squeeze. So he was real, good... good. That was much better than the alternative. His hand fell to his side when Benrey moved his finger away, he no longer had the strength to keep it up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was no longer losing blood thanks to the sweet voice, but that didn't change the fact he was still in pain.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon follows Benrey's finger with his eyes, watching as it pressed lightly to his chest. His tunic was coated in blood, but it wasn't all his own. He shivers a little when he felt the wet tunic be pressed lightly into his skin, it wasn't the most pleasant of feelings.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Despite this he didn't shove the large finger away. Instead he forced his one arm up and placed it against the finger. His arm was shaking, he was shaking, but he gently held the finger to his chest. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was hugging it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As he did so he leaned more into the skeleton. His tears returned as he began to cry again. He hated crying around others, he hated the way they stared and judged him. But after the hell he just went through he needed to. He needed to cry in the hold of the only entities(?) that seemed to care about him. So he did. It was really the only thing he could do. His sobbing was built from both pain and relief.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His sobbing only began to slow when the borrower began losing consciousness, his head leaning back into the skeleton. His eyes closed for a minute too long, then slowly reopened.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The little trembles Benrey felt seemed like a catastrophic earthquake to his heart, fueling the burning inferno of rage that was near the breaking of a full-on supernova. It was when Gordon started sobbing did he feel himself begin to physically break apart more so than he already had, the final sob filling him with dread. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The shrill annoying voice of the taunting human shattered their moment. Benrey had to pull his finger away as quickly and gently as possible before the talon grew back ten-fold, claws scratching and digging into the table a couple of inches (feet to Gordon) away from the skeleton and borrower.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That son of a bitch.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Say monster man, what the fuck are you even doing with that rat hmm?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span> Pennyback jeered, literally brave enough to spit in the face of the Devil himself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You seemed to be soooo enamored with it. What could such a small and insignificant thing mean to you?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Another horrendous and terrible growl left the Griillii at the human's choice of words. Mouths with sharp teeth grew in miscellaneous places along the creature's mass, each one singing out blaring orbs of blood red. The cacophony sounded like a room full of soft whispers that spoke in a language not of this world. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Insignificant?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The entity bellowed, it sounded like Benrey... but not like Benrey. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"The only Insignificant creature here is you, human." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bits of ancient leaked out abhorrently. It was a truly terrifying thing to hear. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Elton worked quickly to sing calming blue orbs at Gordon throughout the exchange. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pennyback grunted from the tendril tightening even further; a fatal grasp if he remained in the hold for another minute. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"BUT WHY THAT THING?! WHAT'S SO SPECIAL-" Pennyback was immediately choked to shut up, Benrey grinding his teeth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Shut. Up. I love him." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Despite all odds, the manic human let out a wheeze of laughter. "A thing like that-- loving a thing like yOU?! BWAHAHA-- ACK-" A tendril finally wrapped around his mouth, muffling him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>That last phrase struck a chord in Benrey. The entity glanced back slightly, eyes on his back doing any further looking at the borrower for him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>How would Gordon feel about this? His keystone cut his arm off. He couldn't protect him. He upset him. He scared him. He'd even failed to tell the other he loved him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was a monster. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yet despite all of that.... Benrey glanced down at his claws, his other eyes peered at his fangs, his power, all in full display for Gordon... To save Gordon. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>None of it was to hurt to the borrower, but instead hurt those who tried. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Simple pain or a quick death would be too kind to this human… Those who ever managed to lay a finger on Gordon deserved a much worse fate. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's been a long time since I've tasted blood... felt flesh ripping beneath my claws.... You're not even worthy to die by my hand, you pitiful cringe ass piece of trash." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Benrey spoke, his main form of mass moving towards the true monster in the room. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He stopped just before Pennyback and turned back to look at Gordon once more.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon was still awake but the borrower felt himself slipping.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was odd, being awake and yet also feeling so close to a dreamless sleep. He wasn't sure how to feel.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Afraid?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He couldn't though. In the arms of the horrific skeleton and under the intense gaze of a black hole, he felt nothing but safe. Weak, but safe. Tired, but safe.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Green and Brown eyes tiredly watch as Benrey pulls away, he listens as much as he could to the argument between the bean and the Griillii. He couldn't hide the shiver that ran through his bones at the terrifying language and tone. But before his brain could process his own fear, he felt the calming blue.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It sure did calm him down, but it also made it even harder to stay awake. He braced his head against Elton as his eyes remained focused on Benrey.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He… loved him? He really loved him? He felt a weak smile form on his face at the thought. So, he had only overreacted? Good job, Gordon, seems you can't take a hint. A weak chuckle escapes him at the thought, it only made him smile brighter at Benrey.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That bright smile remained as he fell unconscious, not hearing the mocking laugh from Pennyback, not seeing the worried look on the entity's face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon fell into a dreamless sleep, the smile and fuzzy feeling from finding out his crush loved him remained plastered on his features.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The skeleton clutched the borrower closer before heaving the two of them up. He cradled the sleeping borrower in his arms, and nodded at Benrey, understanding the silent command. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon didn't need to see what happened next.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The entity approached Pennyback and glared daggers that burned brighter than all the suns he had ever consumed combined. He patiently waited for Elton to leave the room entirely with his little star to begin Pennyback's cosmic hell. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once the two were gone, the tendrils from the Griillii's hair shot out even more, the room filling with black as his mass melted into the floor, becoming one with the room itself. The tendrils holding Pennyback threw him into the now pitch-black void, the man crashing painfully onto the floor from the intense gravity that was beginning to increase further and further. On the ceiling, millions of stars shone brightly, illuminating the ooze covered ground that contained about a foot of black ichor. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The human frantically pushed his submerged face out of it but couldn’t escape the black tar substance clinging to his face. True unadulterated terror filled his system, and the Griillii was savoring the delicious flavor his next meal emanated.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Vh-vhere zhe fuck am I?!" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pennyback screeched out, hitting the floor with a fist. He had lost his glasses in the muck, yet his brain could still see the stars clearly. Benrey ignored him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yoo PJ- pajama fucker. I know that uhh humans know about blackholes n shit... and you seem to be pretty, I don’t know, intelligent? Could you uhh, could you maybe school a homie on what those things are like? ~" Benrey's voice boomed playfully in the "sky" like a god. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Vhat?! Th-this is absurd!!! Ridiculous!!!" The human's voice was brave, but the cracks of mortal fear were beginning to shine through. He felt toyed with, like a mouse in the paws of a hungry cat. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Is zhis vhat zhey felt like...? Zhose little people?’ </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>"I-I-I’M A BIOLOGIST- NOT- NOT A PHYSICIST--" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"BROooo bro shut up. A stupid 5th grader could answer what a blackhole is..." The Griillii scoffed, not buying the stammering nervous bullshit of a dead man.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Ever... ever seen smarter than a 5th grader?? Huh? Huh? Idiot. Probably too afraid to watch - afraid that Timmy and Lukas and Sheela gonna- gonna make your diplomas look like used toilet paper." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pennyback honestly had no fucking clue how to respond, the entity sounded fucking insane to him and the fear made it hard to process anything. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A black tendril emerged from the ooze behind Pennyback and slowly began to wrap around his neck. This got a rise out of the man, but he wasn't strong enough to pull away as it began to pull his head towards the abyss. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"OKAY. OKAY- I'LL TELL JOU VHAT A BLACKHOLE IS--" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The tendril released and turned to liquid, splashing down into the pool. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Niiiiccee. Podcast with Pajamas." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pennyback cleared his bruised throat, swallowing back tears. Would explaining what a blackhole is to this thing... free him? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Bl-blackholes are infinitely dense regions of space zhat consume everyzhing around it. Not even light can... escape it." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pennyback glances upwards. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's an anomaly- a singularity of gravity that is so strange... it can destroy space itself. Nothing is bigger nor scarier than a blackhole... Because zhe- zhe accepted laws of physics breakdown within..." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He rambled, giving lines he had vaguely heard from television documentaries. Truly sweating on the hot seat here.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Zh-zhere!! I answered jour question!! Vill jou let me go now...?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was a silent pause before a maniacal cackle that put Pennyback's to shame echoed in the chamber, the stars morphed from gorgeous jewels to critical and scrutinizing eyes of a monster. They glowed red with undying hate for the mortal in their presence. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Funnyyy.... thought- thought you were smart." The entity sneered. "What was that one thing you explained to me... with the uhh... with the light stuff?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Zh-zhat..." Pennyback felt immense dread when the realization hit. "That nothing can escape... it" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Upon uttering those words, both Pennyback and Benrey knew the human's fate was sealed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Tell me, bio nerd, you ever- you ever uhh seen a blackhole before? Well- of course you haven’t duh, but have you heard what happens when you see one in person? Pretty epic stuff happens- unless I gotta fuckin school you on what spaghettification is~" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I-I-I--" Pearl was trembling now. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Isn't that when you get ripped apart- molecule by molecule- atom by atom?!?!’</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Yes. It is. See. You're smart~’ </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>A second - more predatory - voice interrupted his nervous thoughts, causing the man to scream out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"plEASE- NO- NONO-"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Mmmm. Nah. Fucking hungryyyy and I want pasta ale human who hurt my star."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pennyback couldn't comprehend his last thought, as he began to feel his feet burn and shred apart, the agonizing pain shooting up his body to his midsection. When it reached there, he felt himself rip in half an infinite number of times. The blood curdling screams from him were delicious and sweet, music to the Griillii's ears. It felt like a million years of hell, the inside of the blackhole bending time and space to give Pennyback the worst imaginable death that seemed to last infinitely. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The last strings of consciousness were shredded with the last few atoms of Pearl John Pennyback, soul and all. Such a decimating act in the fabric of time and space made the man vanish from existence. Remembered by those who knew him before the event, never known by those who came after. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He will never hurt Gordon again... GORDON- </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The room shifted and warbled as the black walls melted to reveal the bland paneling of the dingy apartment. The black mass shrunk and condensed itself into a blob on the floor that began to take shape. It morphed and adjusted, turning into a 7ft tall humanoid man named Benrey. Standing in the middle of a blank room, the Griillii burped before spitting out square frame glasses onto the floor. No furniture remained; all traces of the previous inhabitant gone. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Benrey tch'd. “Cringe-fail meal.” He promptly exited the room, needing to find Gordon ASAP.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>RIP to Pearl John Pennyback, loved by almost no one and probably wont be missed.</p><p>Please let us know if we need to add any tags or warnings!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. He Could Not See Which Way To Go</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Elton frantically sprinted across the hall to Benrey's apartment. It was no longer safe to keep Gordon in that apartment. No siree. He would never ever EVER let Gordon out of his sights again. He'd learned his lesson. </p><p>‘Don't watch Gordon for a few minutes and look at what happened!!! He's missing an arm!!!!’</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So where done with most of the major blood and violence triggers. This chapter does still have a trigger though, Gordon talks about being useless and a dead man, so just be aware if that's something your sensitive to.</p><p>Sweetvoice Translations:<br/>Yellow to Azure - safe and secure</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>While a universally cataclysmic event was being held solely localized in the bedroom of a now redacted person, Elton frantically sprinted across the hall to Benrey's apartment. It was no longer safe to keep Gordon in that apartment. No siree. He would never ever EVER let Gordon out of his sights again. He'd learned his lesson. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Don't watch Gordon for a few minutes and look at what happened!!! He's missing an arm!!!!’</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Was Elton being overly dramatic about this? Yes. But he couldn't help it. It was in his programming to be overly protective and worrisome over the borrower. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon was the skeleton's star, and the mass of bones his orbital satellite. He was too modest to consider himself a planet. Such a concept had the skeleton blushing... if skeletons could blush. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Thankfully, Benrey had left the apartment door open, allowing for Elton to safely leave the sleeping Gordon on the floor, push the door open, and then collect Gordon once more to enter the safety of the Griillii's domain. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It didn't take long for Elton to come to the conclusion, finally deciding on where to take the borrower to lay him to rest. His boney legs were already sprinting in the direction of Benrey's bedroom. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘The bed. That bed will be soft enough for Gordon.’</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Ever since he had been tasked to watch over the borrower, Elton lamented the fact that Gordon didn't want to sleep on the unoccupied bed. He knew Benrey never used it, since he was Benrey, so it would be the perfect place to sleep for the tiny man. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Well, that was in the past! And now Elton's wishes were coming true... in... a less desirable circumstance that is... </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Using his super turbo skeleton legs, Elton touched down on the surface of the soft bed, each step sinking into the mattress till he reached the large fluffy pillow. Gently, he laid Gordon down in the center, giving him enough pillow, and using his skeleton strength to push the sheets and covers back to tuck the borrower in.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Content with his work, Elton sat next to Gordon where his stump was exposed and began to administer soft teal to green heal beams to keep the pain down while the other got some well-deserved sleep.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon remained limp throughout [REDACTED]'s execution.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon remained limp when Elton placed him down to open the door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon remained limp as the skeleton ran around.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon remained limp when placed on the bed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The borrower was out like a light. He was still breathing, his chest rose and fell and warm air left his nose, but he didn't move beyond that. He was moreso a dead weight now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His bag had fallen off during his... well... surprise amputation. All the contents had spilled out when he had been tossed in the cage. Now, most of his stuff was most likely consumed by Benrey. Minus the hook since that had been in a separate room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Not that the borrower could make much use of it all now; not with only one hand. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>No more climbing counters, no more scavenging, no more surviving.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It would be an hour before the borrower would begin to awaken. His ears would give the first hint to his return to the waking world, they softly twitched, then he groaned. He was still in pain, the sweet voice helping, but not entirely removing his hurt. He cracks his eyes open slowly and glances around the room. His eyes finally landed on Elton.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Y... you..." His voice was still rough from screaming, this caused him to frown.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The sweet voice cut off immediately, Elton's void-like eye sockets looking up at Gordon's face. It gave a firm nod.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Yes, Gordon. I'm here.’ </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>The skeleton waited for a command, a need, anything that Gordon wanted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The borrower looks at Elton, before looking down at his arm, or more accurately, his lack of an arm.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He felt the sweet voice that was cocooned around it. That must be what's stopping his bleeding, that must be why he hasn't bled out yet. His eyes shift from the sweet voice back to Elton.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I-I... ah... Thank you. I don't... I-I’d probably be d-d-dead without you..." His voice remained rough and weak. His throat raw from his blood curdling screams.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Despite this fact Gordon still wanted to thank his saviors. He didn't yet see Benrey so he would thank him later, for now, he could thank the skeleton.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A boney hand came up and rested on Gordon's middle, patting his stomach tenderly. He couldn't verbalize it, but he hoped it would get across as a gentle sign of welcome. In full honesty, Elton wanted to say that he nor Benrey didn't need to be thanked, especially in the skeletons case where he would do anything for Gordon unconditionally; might have to ask Benrey for some vocal chords or at least teach the smaller man sweet voice translations.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A job for future Elton, right now present Elton needed to keep that cocoon firm and glowing- until the arm healed itself at least. Err... rather. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘He sounds hoarse. He's probably thirsty!! Aaa!!’ </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>The skeleton withdrew his hand and pointed at Gordon.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘You.’ </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The hand brought itself back, fingers folding down leaving the index finger up. The top knuckle bent down making the letter 'X' in American Sign Language. The X shape was then bent down at the wrist.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Need.’ </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His fingers moved again, thumb and pinky bones folding down, leaving the W of the 3 middle fingers to rise. He then angled the W vertically up and motioned it towards his chin. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Water?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wasn't sure if Gordon understood, but at least hoped water appeared close to miming drinking.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon smiles when his stomach is pat, a weak chuckle escaping him as the skeleton did so. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His ears perk up a little as he watched the skeleton form signs. ASL. A few borrowers in his old community knew it, some were actually mute and others just thought it was cool. Gordon was one of the ones who thought it cool. It was a fun activity to learn and he made some friends doing it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He lifts his hand, having to spell out the letters individually since he couldn't do more complicated two-handed signs, since he, ya ‘know, lost his hand. "y-e-s p-l-e-a-s-e".</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A smile formed on his face, "y-o-u s-i-g-n?" He hoped by keeping his language simple it would make him easier to understand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The skeleton seemed to act surprised for a split second, his bones visibly rattling with excitement. Elton's hand formed a fist and made an ecstatic knocking motion. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Yes!’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He stood up from his seated position, stimming with his hands happily. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Oh, Ghetsis Oh Ghetsis he can understand the language of hands!!!’ </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He instantly signed, "B.R.B." before sprinting off the bed towards the kitchen. The front door to the apartment made an opening and closing sound, the clicking of locks following it. Benrey was home. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The borrower smiles at Elton’s excitement, it was nice to have some form of communication with the other. His green and brown eyes follow the skeleton as he leaves, but other than that he doesn't really move. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon’s eyes begin looking over the room. It was familiar, but he didn't quite recognize it. Gordon had never gone on the entity's bed, at least if he could avoid it. So, his perspective of this room was all off because he was some place he wasn't often, but it still held familiarity.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>In the kitchen, the Griillii held, in his hands, the entirety of the “room” they built together, the borrowing hook and dagger resting on the plush-filled pile of cloth that had acted as their bed. He placed it on an open space on his somewhat cluttered counters when he noticed the tiny skeleton attempting to get water from the sink. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A smirk plastered itself across Benrey's face. He reached in and plucked the skeleton out of the sink, confiscating the bottle cap. A silent command sent Elton back to the bedroom to resume the heal beam while Benrey handled the water.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Sorry. I am back." Elton signed to the borrower. Expecting the confusion, before signing again to clear it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘You have a visitor.’ he joked, sitting back down to start singing at the wound. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Before Gordon could ponder it too much the skeleton returned to the room. His focus returned to them, his head tilted a little.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Visitor?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With that, Benrey peered in, softly knocking on the doorway edge.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Uhh... Yo, uh... may I come in?" He shyly asked, being mindful of Gordon's privacy after such a turbulent experience.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon hears the knock and looks over, ears perking up. His tail then wags slightly at the sight of the other. "Benrey! Fuck, dude, I-I'm sorry... I didn't... I didn't m-mean f-for any of this to h-h-happen."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His voice was still weak, but he was too excited at the sight of a friendly face to care about that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hearing Gordon's voice in such a state sent a small wave of pain through Benrey's heart. He gave the smaller man a sad smile as he walked to the left side of the bed, getting down on both knees to be at a less intimidating height. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey… it's okay. Shhh, it's okay. Big ole Benrey's here to protect you." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His voice sounded more tender and gentler than in previous encounters; a special tone that he would only reserve for Gordon. Carefully, his fingers brought the cap of water close to the borrower, holding it for him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I, uh, I got you some water... Drink, please?" Benrey softly requested.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon nods and shifts closer to the cap of water. He happily began drinking, knowing he needed it after... well... everything that just happened.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was trying to not think too much about that. Not yet.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once the water was finished, he leaned back into the pillow, he used his sleeve to wipe the water off his mouth. He paused, then glanced down. His orange tunic was still covered in blood. The blood had now dried, it would most likely stain the shirt’s fabric. He frowns at the sight of it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The memory of what he did rushed back to him, all of it hitting the borrower like a fucking truck. His ears pressed against his head as tears pricked at his eyes. His hand moved to cover his mouth; he didn't want to vomit.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"F-fuck, I... oh god..." His eyes stared down at his sweet voice covered shoulder. Those same tears began rolling down the borrower’s cheeks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"F-fuck..."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The water was pulled away when Gordon finished, Benrey placing the cap on the nightstand next to him. His attention quickly returned to the Borrower, hearing the small muffled sobs wrack his love's body. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Elton's boney hand came up and wiped away the tears in Benrey's place. With the tears wiped, his hand slid its way into the mess of dirtied brown locks and began scratching lightly at the scalp - attempting to comfort Gordon without the sweet voice. Sometimes it was better to let the emotions out. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>While Gordon cried and Elton tended to him, a large hand slid behind the borrower to cradle him, the coolness of the expanse of pillow being replaced by the radiating warmth that Benrey provided. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"W-would it be okay if, I uh, if- Elton, the skeleton, removed your top?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Benrey asked. He would have loved to offer Gordon some fresh clothes, but he unfortunately didn't have any doll size clothes laying around. A mental note was made to ask Tommy about getting him a whole wardrobe for the borrower later.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The borrower’s ears relax as he leans into the head scratches, his eyes closed for a moment as he tries to stop his crying.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Those sad eyes reopened when Benrey spoke, his gaze turning to look up at Benrey. He weakly nods and sniffles. Normally he hated being topless around people, but topless was better than covered in blood. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Y-yes. Please," he sniffles before forcing himself to take deep breaths.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Get it together Gordon.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He glanced at the skeleton, "y... your name i-is Elton?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Elton nodded without stopping his voice, accidentally making orbs fly off course. He suddenly stopped and quickly swatted at the stray orbs with his free hand, seemingly embarrassed by the display. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When that was cleared up, he nodded again. Benrey chuckled at the spectacle. If Elton could glare, he would at Benrey, but regardless he probably wouldn't, choosing instead to give undivided attention to Gordon. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The skeleton slid his hand out of Gordon's hair and lowered both hands to the first button on his tunic, unfastening it and then the second button. He then assisted Gordon in pulling off the right and then the left sides, pulling it out from behind and casting it to the side. That left him in just the scarf, which Elton soon removed as well.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>All the while, Benrey was shyly glancing away. He didn't want to stare or look without permission.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon helps remove his tunic and scarf, letting out a relieved sigh when the bloody garment was finally off.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Thank you, b-both of you. I... I don't want to think about what would’ve happened if you hadn't shown up."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Despite not wanting to, his brain still did. The idea of being tortured, experimented on, out on display, it all made him feel sick. His arm wraps around his stomach as the thoughts flood his brain.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I... I don't... I don't k-know what that b-b-bean would have done. H-he mentioned cages a-and experimentation" he frowns more.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Benrey's ring finger folded inward, letting the tip gently rest over Gordon's arm and stomach. A soft bwoop was heard above from the Griillii, orbs of blue sweet voice floating out with each paced bwoop. Gordon’s ears perk up, his tail flicks curiously. Never in his life had he heard that sound before, it confused the small borrower.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"N-no need... to uh... thank us." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Benrey sounded solemn, finding courage to look at the tiny man resting against his palm. The man he fell for. The man he killed for. The man he-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"We- I… I love you..." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Elton let out sweet voice orbs of his own, the colors yellow to azure lighting the area with that calming deep blue.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The borrower paused before the arm that still had a hand moved to hug Benrey's ring finger. He felt his face flush a little bit.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I..." he swallowed before smiling, "I love y-you too. I'm sorry I... i-I should have said s-something s-sooner. I was... I was scared o-of how'd you'd take it."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A soft nod was given, a blush appearing on the giant's face as well. Warmth spread in his chest from his finger being hugged. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘If only I could give him a proper hug... Sadly I have to wait a few weeks or longer. Cringe meal having so much fucking mass.’</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>"S-same here... thought you would've, thought you would leave a-again... or, uhh, tell me to go away..." he shyly admitted, eyes gazing over the other's body for any other signs of injury. Elton had reported none, but he just wanted to be sure.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon laughs softly "seems we’re... we’re both kind of bad at communication."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He broke the hug in favor of leaning back and relaxing, he was still tired after everything, especially all the crying. But he still kept a smile on his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"... w... what happened after I passed out?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Benrey swallowed and looked away, not able to meet Gordon's eyes with this next bit. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well uh... Bean man and I had a 1v1 and I sniped him too hard. He uhh… he game over'd." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He explained with his gaming euphemism, not wishing to go into any further details. Didn't want Gordon to keep thinking about the violent parts of the past day. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"TLDR? He’s... He's gone. He won’t ever hurt you again. No more cringeback."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon blinks, taking a moment to understand the odd lingo. After a moment he nods, "s... so he's... he's dead?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Part of him wanted to be afraid, to fear what Benrey would do to him. But that part of his mind was silenced by his emotions. He loved Benrey, he said it, he decided it, he loved the odd alien. The creature known as Benrey and the skeleton known as Elton had saved him. They wouldn't hurt him, not after all the trouble they had gone to just to keep him safe. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He relaxes into the pillow as he waits for a response, "I... I suppose I shouldn't be surprised. I think... I think he tortured l-lots of borrowers..."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A soft and direct, "Yeah." came from Benrey.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The moments before Pennyback's erasure, the Griillii had a moment where he could tap into the memories, suppressed and all, Pennyback ever had; the man’s life playing out like a movie to him. He'd watch the man grow up cruel to small creatures, watched him go through high school and college, the highs and lows, and especially the times he tormented the souls of smaller beings. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It disgusted Benrey to think those atrocities could have happened to Gordon, which is why he cut the memory-movie early after the first couple of victims. He couldn't bear to watch. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The souls of those unfairly murdered could rest now. [REDACTED] no longer existed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"He..." Benrey paused, his left hand coming up and lightly laying itself across the borrower's lap and legs. He then sighed, choosing to drop the gamer speak for this. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"He did... B-but he won't. He can't. Not anymore."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Elton stared up at Benrey and then back at Gordon. The cocoon would be fine for another hour, but he still needed to do more. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Oh! Maybe I could wipe him off until he bathes.’ </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Benrey heard the idea, black tendrils from his feet shooting off along the floor and into the kitchen. They worked fast to grab a tiny dish of hot water while branching off to grab and slice pieces of a paper towel sheet into square rags of borrower size. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The black mass returned, bowl and cloth in hand. The tendrils slithered up and across the bed to Elton and Gordon; one tentacle revealing the steaming bowl of water, the other giving all the rags to the skeleton.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon nods when Benrey spoke, he moved his small hand to pat the clawed hand on his lap; he hoped it would be some small form of comfort.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Thank y-you... again." He smiles at Benrey and Elton, not noticing their silent exchange.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wasn't used to Benrey being so big. He had kind of grown used to the other’s 6-inch height during their time together. But he didn't hate Benrey's larger size - not at all. It was different, but that wasn't a bad thing. Either way he felt safe around the entity, and he hoped the other would understand, at either size, to avoid just lifting people into the air for no reason.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As his mind wanders back to their previous months together, a frown forming on Gordon’s face. His eyes moving back down to his arm. For as thankful as he was for Elton and Benrey saving him, he still felt like a dead man. He couldn't do anything like this. Starvation, dehydration, and any number of painful deaths lurk around the corner for him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Just these thoughts alone cause Gordon's ears to fall, pressing against his head as he frowns at his arm.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was pulled from his brain when he noticed the tendrils, his ears perking back up at the odd sight. He watched as they slither around, presenting items to Elton or just holding a different item. Gordon looks them over, a little confused.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What's going on?" His curiosity managed to reduce his internal dread, but it still lingered in his mind like a bad taste in your mouth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Elton didn't sign anything, placing the make-shift rags down by Gordon and taking a few, dipping it into the hot water and wringing it out to create a warm washcloth. The skeleton held it by Gordon, waiting for permission. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Little bone man wants to help clean you up. Help get rid of the stinkiness." Benrey explained, lightly joking. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"He says it's going to be a, uh, while before you can sit in the water to bathe- the- the wound's pretty fucked up still... and he hopes it's all right... to uh, help you clean up." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Griillii finished translating for the skeleton as if the ideas weren't his own, despite every thought the two entities shared being one-in-the-same.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon nods, yeah it’d be pretty nice to get the lingering blood off of him. He wasn't sure if he should mention that he accidently cut off [REDACTED]'s finger or not. But for now, it didn't matter. Getting cleaned up was a lot more important than some dead guy's finger.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah, that... that’d be helpful." He let out a hollow chuckle, "I... I can't really do... much of anything. Anymore." Careful Gordon, your inner dread is showing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Griillii's ears picked it up and the twitch of his nose backed it up. Lowering his head to press his chin on the sheets, Benrey gave a quick and playful sniff in Gordon's direction. The sniffing confirming what he had picked up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Got some- some underlying stench too. Smells like sad-Gordo." The entity mumbled, pupils narrowing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>While Benrey distracted Gordon, Elton got to work, tenderly pressing the warm wet rag on the borrower's chest, rubbing away the grime that had seeped through his clothes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What- uhh, whaddya mean?" Benrey softly asked. He had a vague idea of what his question would lead to but asked regardless. Gordon didn't need to keep his emotions bottled after such trauma, he thought.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The borrower looked over at Benrey when the entity moved, his ears perked up and he laughed a little at the sound of sniffing. So, it wasn't just fear that the other could smell? Had they been smelling his emotions this whole time? Weird.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His smile drops a little as Benrey spoke, his tail giving a nervous flick. He... he shouldn't worry Benrey with it, the other was already doing so much for him. There was no way he could pay them back for it. Especially with...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Uh... well I'm... I'm basically just a dead weight thanks to this." He gestures to his severed arm. "... I can't do anything. I... I'm basically a dead man walking." His ears pressed against his head. Wow. Felt even worse to say it out loud.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The hand on the man's lap tensed from his admission, resisting the intrusive thought of just scooping the borrower up and cuddling him close. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Th-that isn't- that- that's not true, Gordon." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A sad and pained expression worked its way onto Benrey's face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span> "You've been injured, yes, but- but it's not game over. Still got lives left, still on the roster-" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Griillii wasn't the best at consoling people when they were upset like this. His species never did this kind of stuff with each other because they had no capacity for empathy or even sadness out in the void; even with Tommy's lessons, Benrey usually failed at comforting the scientist when he had his rare bouts of despair. Darnold was the pro when it came to Tommy, so Benrey would just stand on the sidelines and give his silent support. Benrey was relieved that Tommy's significant other was there to comfort his friend for him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But now? When he was the significant other tasked with consoling? When his little star wavered in light? It filled Benrey with dread. Nerves wracked him at the fear of accidentally extinguishing Gordon's light instead of making it burn brighter. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The insecurity bubbled at the corners of his eyes. Benrey was trying.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon’s tail stopped moving all together as Benrey spoke, his eyes looking away from the entity and the skeleton. Unable to face them, he almost felt ashamed. To let something like this happen, to let himself become a bother.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He sniffles and choked on some tears he was holding in, still not looking at the other.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"B-but it's true! I can't d-do shit like this!" He insisted, "I can't scavenge, I-I can't b-b-build, I can't c-climb! I can't do a-anything!" He tries to blink away the tears that continued to try and burst forth, his form shaking as he did so.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I can't do anything! I-I'm going t-t-to fucking d-die!" He couldn't hold back the tears much longer, so he raised his only hand to try and scrub them away, not wanting to bother the Griillii with his sobs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"N-Now I'm just a b-bother. U-U-Useless."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hearing such awful lies let Benrey shed his own tears. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>While Gordon sobbed, a soft warmth pressed itself over the left side of the borrower's head. It lingered there for a few seconds before a subtle "ooch" sound was heard, the warmth pulling away. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon paused when he felt something warm on the side of his head, it took a minute to process what had happened. When it did click, blush formed on his cheeks and his tears slowed a little. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Benrey had kissed Gordon. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Griillii brought his face closer to the other, tenderly pressing his nose to nuzzle the borrower's chest. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No... lies- stop-- stop lying- please."</span>
</p><p>
  <span> Benrey mumbled out against his side. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Not true. Not true. Not true. P-please?  I-I’ll take care of you. Feed you. Lift you. Hug you. L-love you."  His voice was wavering but held strong. He needed to be strong for Gordon. Needed to be his rock- no, his ISLAND - in this fucked up ocean.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Y-you’ve said stupid stuff man, but but but that's the stupidest thing I’ve heard- p-periodt. You're not useless- not useless- nonono..." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Griillii continued to murmur. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"M-my precious star- the light of my life- you mean..." Benrey swallowed the sweet voice down, needing words not song. He trembled in Gordon's presence with a soft whimper. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You mean everything to me..."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon’s breathing hitched a little when he felt the warmth of the other against this chest, his face going red when he felt the nuzzles. He couldn't find his words as he listened to Benrey's mumbles, so he remained silent as he spoke.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I..." He sniffles, still trying to get himself to stop crying.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It seems his words were failing him as he continues to sob.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So instead he leans into Benrey, he leans into the larger entity and cries. All the pain he felt earlier, all the emotion he tried to bottle up, all of it came rushing out of him as he sobbed into Benrey. He was completely blinded by his own tears, just wanting to be held, comforted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He just wanted to be held, to be told that everything would be okay. Despite the fact it clearly wasn't.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Let it out bro, let it out..." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Elton could only watch the display with sadness etched into his bones. He continued his ministrations: discarding the paper towel that grew cold and dirty and replacing it with a fresh warm rag. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘We love you, Gordon.’ </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>While the borrower sobbed, boney fingers wiped the rag across his tear stained cheeks before resuming the clean-up. No use in wiping every teardrop away; more would just replace the ones he had just cleaned. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>By now most of the blood and ick from earlier had been cleaned off - all that remained to clean was the area where Gordon's arm was missing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Benrey had closed his eyes to focus on the other's touch. He could feel the small tears cascading down the bridge of his nose in rivulets, while his own tears slid off his cheeks. For a moment, the Griillii was hung up on what else to say, when Tommy's words echoed in his mind from when he learned and acquired the capacity to feel pain and grief. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Th-things will get better, Benrey. It's going to be A-Okay. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>"Things... things will get better, man."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Benrey mimicked the memory with a soft purr, holding onto it as a crucial point of reference. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's going to be okay... I'm here... I'm here..."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon looks at Benrey when the entity spoke, quietly listening to the other.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He leans more into them and hesitates for a moment. It was odd, being so close to a being he was once terrified of. He remembers hiding in the cupboards from. He recalls how terrified he was when he found himself trapped in a teapot, trying to hide from the beast. He remembers all the fear he used to feel yet finds he can feel none of it now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He's grown to feel safe around Benrey, and Elton. Both of them being here when he felt like he should be dead. It was an odd feeling, a warm feeling.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He felt himself blush as he realized what this feeling was. He felt loved. He felt warm and fuzzy, happy, and slightly lightheaded. Despite all his dread and anguish he also felt love.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The borrower shifts closer to Benrey, before gently leaving a kiss on the Griillii's nose. The tears on his cheeks began to slow as he did so.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"... T-Thank you."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nothing could stop the mass of pink and blue orbs that swarmed around the poor borrower and skeleton. The bubbles floated everywhere, even managing to stain the sheets with a light purple. The sound they made sounded like a corny angelic choir. As quickly as they appeared, the onslaught stopped, leaving a blushing Benrey and a chastising Elton in its wake. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘I just cleaned him, and you go and react like a giant gay ass to a simple kiss!!!’</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>The skeleton berated in Benrey's mind. The larger of the two only smirked with his own retort. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Oh yeah? How about you get a smoocheroo too sometime? See how you react, little gay bones. Fat bet you'll react the same.’</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>The skeleton deadpanned, opting to turn and acknowledge Gordon instead, figuring it's about time he starts teaching the tiny man their sweet voice translations. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Elton signed, "pink to blue. I love you."  and then gestured to the mess around them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Green and Brown eyes watch the display of colors, the borrower pulling a little away from Benrey as he sings. The colors were stunning, bringing a small amount of colored light with them. The sight was enchanting. Even if the aftermath was a little sticky. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon looks down at some color that had stained his good hand, curiously looking over the odd textured liquid. He almost missed Elton's signing because he was so focused on the purple color.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He did manage to see it though, and his head turned to give the skeleton his full attention.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Wait, these things have meaning?" He honestly didn't know that - he just assumed it was something cool the Griillii could do. "That's... that's kind of cool." He laughs and looks back at his sweet voice covered hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He then looks back up at Benrey, some blush covering the borrower’s cheek. His tail shyly swayed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I... I love you too."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The light burned through Benrey's chest, his pupils widening to absorb as much as he could of the star before him. Those few words made the giant feel small under the other's gaze, the irony was remarkable. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Benrey could only stare lovingly at Gordon, Elton coming over to re-wipe the tears that had stopped flowing and begin cleaning up the sweet voice plastered over the borrower. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Thank you," Gordon smiles to Elton as the skeleton helped get him cleaned up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He then turned back to Benrey, smiling shyly as the creature stared at him. Their large eyes were somewhat intimidating, but that was okay. Benrey himself didn't scare the borrower anymore, at least not as much.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A small chuckle left Benrey. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"B-bro that's... that's hella gay... wanna... uh- wanna kiss about it?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Laughter bubbles out of the borrower at the comment, "you’re not gonna try and eat me, right?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A playfully toothy smirk plastered itself across the Griillii's face. He wishes he could play that beautiful sound on repeat. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I mean," he starts, his eyes half-lidding. "You are kind of a snacc- so maybe a nibble or two? ~" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Benrey purrs, using a finger to rub at Gordon's midsection in a light tickle.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He sure as hell wasn't about to tell the other that he had indirectly eaten his arm back when [REDACTED] perished; subsequently knowing what he also tasted like as a result. Oops.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The borrower’s ears perked up and his tail began to wag when the entity tickled his stomach. He squirms a little as laughter bubbles out of him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"N-No! Ahahaha" His ears gave a little twitch as he laughed, his hand moved to lightly push Benrey's finger away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The smirk grew into a full-on grin from Gordon's infectious laughter. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Little Mouse-man's a little ticklish! Who knew? ~” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Benrey chuckled, moving his finger to mercilessly attack his love's side. He couldn't hold back the deep rumbling sounds that were apparently purrs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Poor Elton was freaking out, trying to help Gordon push the finger away to no avail. He too was powerless against the larger entity.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The borrower's laughter grew in volume as the fingers began tickling his sides, his tail wagging more in response.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Ahahahahah! N-Nohoh! Aahhahaha!" He shook his head. His hand continued to try and push the fingers away. His ears gave another twitch as well, the poor borrower squirming in the grasp of the giant.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Stahap! Ahahaha!!!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Mmm, what's the magic word bro? Gotta-- gotta use the magic word." He taunted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Now any sane person would just say please, or abracadabra, or whatever the fuck. But Gordon, despite his small stature and fearful nature, was a stubborn bastard. That stubbornness made it, so the borrower didn't want to just say please, he didn't want to give the Griillii the satisfaction. His hubris wouldn't let him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Ahahaha! F-fuck you! Heheheehaahahah!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Benrey's eyes widened and then immediately narrowed, his grin-plastered face moving closer to the other. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Is that- uhh a fuckin promise, bro? ~" He joked lowly, "Haven't even had our first date yet~ Bit forward, don’t cha think? ~" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The finger continued its assault under Gordon's only arm, while the skeleton was fighting off a second incoming finger from Benrey's other hand. Elton spewed blue to burgundy at the Griillii. How could you do this to me?!</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"N-Not Aahahahaha! Not what I m-meant! Ahahahaha! Heheheehahahah! Hehe!!!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The borrower continued to squirm, trying to break free. His arm trying to shove the finger back as he attempts to worm himself away from the other. It's not like he could really go anywhere, but the effort was still being made.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"S-stop! Ahahahahah! Hehehehahahaha!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The clear "stop" from Gordon pleas made the skeleton lose it. Elton leaped for the giant's face, tackling Benrey's nose with a tight cling. An angry high pitch sweet voice made of the color pink and red flew from the skull; the noise sounding akin to a frantic air horn. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>This stopped the Griillii immediately. Benrey's eyes widened and his hand immediately retracted from the borrower. The skeleton's voice was screaming in his mind. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘He said stop!!!’ </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Bro it was just a pra-’ </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘The man is injured, idiot!! Don't be cringe and potentially hurt him more!!’ </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Was Elton being overdramatic? Yes, absolutely, but within good reason. Regardless, Benrey yielded to his better part, watching the skeleton give an angry click-of-his-teeth before hopping off his face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The skeleton returned to Gordon's side like a protective dog, helping the man calm down, and starting to sing the teal to green heal beam at the wound just in case.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Benrey could only watch dumbfoundedly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon took deep breaths once the tickling was over, leaning back into the large pillow. His tail stopped wagging as his ears returned to a more relaxed position. It takes a minute for his breathing to return to normal, feeling tired after the merciless assault on his sides. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He raised a hand and signed to Elton, a small smile forming on his face as he did so, ‘thank you.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He let the other being wrap his arm again, watching quietly as he relaxed into the pillow. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"May have to sleep again," he chuckles, reaching his hand up to rub his eye, "kind of tired."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Y-yeah..." Benrey would have made a taunting jab at Gordon being a "little sleepy man," but the chewing out he got from Elton made him behave just this once. Being silly could come when Gordon was better. "You need rest."</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Offer him food.’ </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘H-huh, but we don't even have much here-’</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Get it for him. He's our mate.’ </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘WOAH- woah woah... I-’</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Benrey.’</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>The Griillii swallowed, blush dusting his cheeks as he sat up a bit straighter. The skeleton stared up at him with critical void-like eyes. He bit his bottom lip. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What uhh... W-want me to get you some food... for- for when you wake up, of course?" Benrey asked, trying to remember what kind of foods the borrower liked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon relaxes more into the pillow, smiling a little as he got comfy. Fuck this thing was soft! And so fucking cozy!</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He looks up at Benrey before nodding, "uh yeah. That... that’d be nice, thanks dude." He smiles a little before leaning back into the pillow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon then closed his eyes and relaxed more; it would not take the borrower long to fall asleep. The warm bed, the tiredness, all of it helping to pull him asleep. The warmth of the bed and softness of the pillow made the sleeping borrower smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He would end up purring in his sleep.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Now we can get into the fun parts of a ship fic! Self indulgent scenes and emotional fun! :)</p><p>Thank you all so much for your support!! For the moment we are back to our usual upload schedule of either Friday, Saturday, or Sunday.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. If You Did Not Twinkle So</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Griilliis were creatures of adaptability, intelligence, and finesse, able to learn anything on the fly and perfect it just as fast. It's what made them such deadly creatures - well, that, and being bloody fucking massive blackholes.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Time for some Benrey, Elton, and Gordon fun uwu</p><p>Sweetvoice Translations:<br/>Any translations are done by Elton and Benrey in this chapter uwu</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The smell of cooked meat filled the air of the small apartment. Floating around trying to find victims to instill hunger upon like a cruel mistress of gluttony. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Having finally put the small indoor grill to use, Benrey held a plate of a small filet mignon. The juicy meat sported tantalizing grill marks and bits of seasoning that would make a Texas Roadhouse meat master cry. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Only the best for Gordon. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Griilliis were creatures of adaptability, intelligence, and finesse, able to learn anything on the fly and perfect it just as fast. It's what made them such deadly creatures - well, that, and being bloody fucking massive blackholes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>In the time that Gordon slept, Benrey slaved away at researching. He drilled his brain with information, learning: all kinds of steak cooking techniques; the cuts of meat; which knives to slice with; what herbs would help bring out the flavor; and even going back as far as to learn the process of raising a specific breed of angus that would yield the most tender of meats. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Griilliis care about someone, they go hard. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Benrey knew this shit was all extra, overboard, frivolous - whatever label an Earthling could slap on his endeavors. But it's not like he had anything better to do! </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Besides, it was fun getting out of Dildo for a bit. He got to go to a nearby town to pick out fresh beef;  got to let himself freeze in the harsh winter conditions; and even got a scare or many out of the towns people who saw him walking down the street wearing nothing but shorts, a sweater, and flip flops. Benrey didn't understand what the big fuss was about: it was only 20 below 0 Celsius. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As much fun the outing had been, the Griillii's mission prioritized Gordon's meal over anything.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So, there he stood in his surprisingly clean kitchen. Elton had made him remove the clutter for more countertop space if they were going to plan to start cooking for the borrower. He slid the finally cooked piece of meat onto a cutting board and sliced a tiny piece of the juiciest part his precise eyes could find; he, of course, made sure to get some of the charred line into the cut. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It seemed borrower sized enough. He hoped. No matter - the rest would go into the fridge for Gordon to eat on later... Unless he wanted something different. Benrey would become better than the world's finest culinary chef for the borrower - such is the way of the Griillii. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You would think the extra-ness would end at the superbly prepared steak, right? Nope. The mother fucker had made sides too; even tea and bread!!! In town, he had found an expensive doll size plate at a thrift store. It looked like fine china and was even made of kaolin too! Benrey lamented not being able to find silverware for Gordon but settled on being fortunate enough to have even found the plate. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The plate held between his index finger and thumb was loaded up with the steak, a little dollop of mashed potatoes, a corn kernel, a miniscule chunk of roasted carrot, and a crumb from a Hawaiian bread roll. In his other hand, he held a cap filled with chilled black tea.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Fucking, swag meal for Gordon. Benny made it.’ </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Benrey chuckled to himself at the thought, standing outside his bedroom door. A third arm grew and knocked softly on the door. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Elton would not let the other in until he was certain that Gordon was awake. The skeleton had been singing calming blue orbs at the borrower to prevent any pain or nightmares from interrupting his sleep.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon had slept peacefully thanks to the calming blue orbs. His mind swimming with fond dreams of food, good scavenging, and having both arms. His purring only grew in volume thanks to the pleasant dreams.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The borrower began to wake up first at the sound of knocking.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Mmm..."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Green and brown eyes flutter open and are met with the sight of the bedroom around him. He was still cozy in bed, the sound of sweet voice softly ringing in his ear. Those same green and brown eyes blink before glancing around tiredly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The first thing he noticed aside from the cozy bed was the amazing scent. Steak! Oh, fuck it smelled sooooo good!</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He slowly sat up a little, a soft yawn escaping him as he stretched. His ears twitch before he turns to look at Elton. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Good morning." Gordon smiles at the skeleton.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He rubs his eye before shaking his head, trying to remove the drowsiness from his system.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Fuck." He hums, "that was an amazing nap!" He couldn't not smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He felt better than he had before. Not perfect, but better. He also refused to look at his severed arm, trying to ignore it. He didn't want to feel sick, he wanted to enjoy the peacefulness that came with waking up after a decent rest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The skeleton perked up, waving at the borrower and excitedly signing, “Good morning, Gordon!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With a mental cue shared between the skeleton and Griillii, Benrey opened the door, finally allowed in. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Gooood morrrnning, sleepy head!" Benrey sang, "Have any pogger dreams?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He playfully quizzed, walking over to the left side of the bed and taking a seat in the middle; the mattress sank down under his weight - the displacement, thankfully, didn't reach Gordon or Elton.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The borrower waves hello when Benrey enters, "hey dude." He smiles.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah, actually. I did." He chuckles, "mostly about food."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He sits up a little more, "speaking of food, what the fuck smells so good???"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A proud smirk found its way onto Benrey's face, his hand bringing the plate of food over to Gordon. A black tendril emerged from Elton and bent over the tiny man's lap, shifting and hardening into the appearance of a tray-table. The plate was placed on the table in front of him, the meat and sides steaming from being fresh off the grill. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"That would be your totally poggers swag meal. I uhhh, Benny made it."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon watched when the black tendril extended forth and formed a sort of table. "Huh..."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He looks down at the plate of meat and sides, his eyes going wide as he stares at it. "H-holy shit! You... I..." He smiles up at Benrey, "thank you."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Most humans would eat something like this with silverware, be nice and dainty. But Gordon was a borrower, and silverware wasn't always available to him, so he did what he knew how to do. He picks the steak up with his hand, smiling brightly as he does so.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He then bites down on it and pulls a chunk off; the action would reveal the small fangs the borrower had been hiding in its mouth. He let out a happy hum, already loving the taste.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Benrey's brow quirked at the sight. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Woah... Cute." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He breathed, watching his love tear hungrily into the steak he made for him. Normally Griillii's were neat with their food, but that still didn't mean they didn't like to go apeshit with it from time to time. In fact, ripping your food apart was reserved as a sacred form of romantic flirting between two Griillii. So, to see Gordon's little fangs come out and sink into the meat made Benrey feel an otherworldly sense of flattery. The butterflies in his chest started up a low rumbling purr that he couldn't contain.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Mmm," he smiles, loving the flavor of the steak. "Thank you Benrey! This is fucking amazing!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His ears then perk up at the sound of purring, green and brown eyes looking up at the massive entity. He paused before getting an idea. "You’re big now, that means you can eat, right?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He felt kind of bad, eating in front of the other for so long while they starved just to be with him. Now that it wasn't an issue he smiles, he then held up the piece of meat in his hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Do you want some?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ghetsis, Bikriin, help him; he might faint. A blush bloomed across Benrey's face with tears pricking at his eyes. His clawed hand came up to hold his mouth as teal orbs of sweet voice flew out. Wh-what should he say??? He knew Gordon was unaware of what his actions meant, but the Griillii in him couldn't help but indulge in the blissful feelings. Benrey nodded at Gordon a little too excitedly than what he initially intended and slid off the bed, kneeling on the floor to lower his head down to Elton and Gordon's level.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Oh my Ghetsis, so fucking gay!!!’ </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Elton's voice rang in his mind. The Griillii ignored the teasing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The eyes Benrey held when looking at the borrower were akin to the eyes of a begging puppy, wide, watery, and full of love; the purrs strongly continued with the expectant gaze.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon really didn't know what he was doing to the Griillii. He just wanted to share. He felt awful for all the times Benrey had to sit back and watch him eat, even if it was just crumbs. It felt wrong to eat when you knew your crush was starving. So to be able to share food, like he had wanted to, was nice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He put the steak a little bit in his mouth, before pulling on it with his hand. He managed to pull the steak into two pieces. He dropped the piece he had held in his teeth back onto the plate. He then turns to Benrey and smiles.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He couldn't not chuckle at the sight. A giant, terrifying creature, looking at him with the biggest puppy eyes the borrower had ever seen.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Here." He held out the piece of steak to Benrey, a smile still on his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Benrey couldn't help but return the smile Gordon held. Shyly, his hand came up to the borrower with his pointer finger outstretched underneath the smaller hand. The exchange showed just how vastly different the two were, yet they were one in the same for the love they held for each other. A sizeable bite of steak was but a mere crumb to the Griillii, regardless, the meaning that crumb held had far more value than any super-sized meal the creature had ever gorged itself on. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When the meat was placed on the pad of his finger, Benrey brought it closer to his face. He partially opened his mouth, allowing for a long blue tongue to slide out and make contact with his finger, taking the meat in a swiping motion before it was pulled back into his mouth. The Griillii attempted to "chew" what he tasted but failed miserably - unable to even get the meat between a single razor-like molar. To his audience, his face contorted hilariously; Elton already laughing out blue and grey orbs in near hysterics from the second the spectacle began.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon grabbed the remaining piece of steak and returned to eating, loving the flavor of the well-made steak.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His eyes watched Elton as the skeleton laughed sweet voice, he paused, before recalling the earlier translation. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What does blue to grey mean?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The skeleton had to calm himself down for a second, till he adjusted himself to give Gordon his full attention. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Blue to grey - you are GAY" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He signed to the borrower and began to explain further. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You just enacted one of the most romantic gestures a Griillii could make to another Griillii." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Elton hoped Gordon understood each time he had to spell out G-R-I-I-L-L-I-I. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You shared food with him. He's so fucking gay for you right now.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The skeleton finished by signing some "ha ha!"s. Meanwhile, Benrey gave up and just swallowed, the purr in his chest growing in volume.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon watched the skeleton. His reaction shifted from a smile, to confusion, to surprise. It had taken him a moment to understand the spelling out of 'Griillii', but once he got it he felt his face flush.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I-I did?" His tail wags a little behind him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The loud, rumbling purrs from Benrey gave away the answer, but he still felt the need to ask. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had only meant to be nice, not some massive declaration of love. Yet despite this he wasn't upset, instead he was thankful he already admitted his feelings to Benrey. This would be a lot more awkward if he hadn't told the alien. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His eyes flicked over to Benrey, "I... I hope you don't mind?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Completely lost in the sauce, Benrey didn't quite register the other man's question. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Whuh?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mind what?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The borrower chuckles, tail swaying a little behind him as he did so. Fuck he'd be lying if the giant didn't look amazing right now. He admired the Griillii for a second, blushing more.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Nothing. Don't worry about it." He wondered what else he could do with the new information as he returned to eating.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Benrey blinked when Gordon turned away. He didn't want to press on what had been asked - Gordon needed to eat. Oh! Yeah, the tea. His hand brought the cap of cooled tea up to the table, the tray extending some to make room for the cap. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Got you some, uhh, tea. Figured you might need something to wash stuff down with." Benrey offered. "Could also get ya some water, if that's preferred."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I don't think I've had tea before." Sure the borrower had smelled it, especially in his old home with the nice elderly woman. But the beans often finished the tea, and when she didn't the idea of a cold, leftover beverage didn't sound all too appealing to Gordon.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He finished the piece of steak, a smile on his face as he did so. Fuck, that was good. He wipes his mouth off with his arm, not wanting the juices from the steak getting stuck in his beard.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Well, might as well try the tea next. Using his one hand to carefully lift up the bottle cap, a smile forming on his face. "Smells amazing!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Trust me, it's pretty epic." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Benrey states with pride bubbling in his chest from the compliment. Elton took the other side of the cap, immediately at Gordon's side to help him stabilize it. He didn't want Gordon's other arm to grow tired and accidentally spill everywhere.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He smiles at the skeleton, "thank you."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He then raised the bottle cap up and began drinking, his tail lightly wags as he tastes it. Fuck, everything tasted so much better when it wasn’t cold or stale!</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As Gordon sips, orbs of baby blue to white are sung by Elton, helping the borrower lower the cap back down when he had his fill. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Gay-bones says you're a delight, so it's no biggie." Benrey chortles. If skeletons could make faces, Elton would be shooting the Griillii an incredulous look. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh, and if you want s'more steak, I could go grab another sliver of it for ya. Or maybe should I bring it in here and let you tell me how much you want?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They thought aloud at the end there, wanting to make sure Gordon got as much as he desired.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The borrower watched the orbs before laughing and blushing, he honestly wasn't sure how to handle all the sudden affection from the two entities around him. He brushed some hair out of his face and smiled. He honestly had no idea how he could ever pay them both back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His eyes then flicker up to Benrey, "thank you. But I think I'm good for now!" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The steak, the tea, the sides, all of it equals more food than the borrower has had in a while. He also didn't want to abuse the others' hospitality. Especially with the mess he's kind of gotten them all thrown into.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I really do appreciate all of this, so, uh, thanks." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A clawed finger lightly ruffled the mess of brown locks atop Gordon's head. In harmony, the Griillii and skeleton released a great amount of sweet voice. The song sounded warm with the mix of Benrey's bass and Elton's tenor lines and the colors reflected such warmth: shades of golds, yellows, brass, and cream wisp around Gordon.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Towards the end, Benrey did something never-before conceived by any Griillii - he sang the message in English. "You arrree~" He crooned. "very welcooomme~" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Even though Elton couldn't verbalize words, he still stuck with the harmony, going to the soprano register in tandem with Benrey's welcome. They hoped their mini opera helped get the message across.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The borrower paused at the feeling before pulling the string out of his hair, letting his ponytail fall. That would help it be less tangled after the pets. He couldn't hide his happy, wagging tail. A soft purr left the small borrower at the sound of the melody.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was beautiful, really. The borrower had heard song before, music wasn't something only beans had. But the melody, the sound of sweet voice, the way it literally fills the air with vibrant colors, it was something new to the borrower. It was new and beautiful. The scene was enchanting, watching the colors float above him, giving off a soft, glowing light. He reached a small hand up and caught one of the orbs, holding it close and quietly looking it over.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His ears perked up a little when Benrey sang in English. His green and brown eyes shifted to look up at the Griillii. Even in English the melody was gorgeous. Enchanting. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was no hiding the smile on his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He must be the luckiest borrower in the world! Caring people, possibly a boyfriend, food and song, all of it made him feel a little spoiled. He found himself breathless, unable to form words and express his love of the song or gratitude towards their singing. So he didn't use words.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He let go of the colored orb and reached his hand up. Gently he grasps Benrey's finger and pulls it away from his head, gently shifting the clawed finger in front of him. Gordon then very carefully kissed the tip of the finger. A small thank you.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Like a tiny spark that acted as the catalyst of a major wildfire, the kiss, easily felt and seen by Benrey, sent a shockwave of love through the giant. In a domino effect, the sweet voice colors melted from their golds into an exploding mess of pink and grapefruit. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The little hand on his finger could simply will the Griillii to crumble, fall, or even melt if it ever chose to enact such commands; that was the amount of power Benrey bestowed to the borrower. Move his finger effortlessly? Easy. Oh, how Benrey yearned to be borrower height right about now. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Elton stopped his singing via silent command to translate the new wordless tune. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Color of grapefruit. You are so cute, G-O-R-D-O-N. Next, color pink. Pure love.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Woah..." He softly breathed, watching the new colors swirl in the air around them. It was still an enchanting sight.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He let go of the clawed finger and turned his head up to face Benrey, watching the different shades of grapefruit and pink leave the creature's mouth. The color, the melody, all of it was amazing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Elton began signing Gordon turned his attention to him, watching the other quietly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He felt his face flush at the translation. HIs tail wagging more as his ears perk up. Cute? Love? Goodness that's a lot out of nowhere. Okay, well, not out of nowhere. He did just kiss their hand... er... finger. Still, they only just recently confessed attraction, there still hadn't been a first date. It flustered the borrower to be thrown headfirst into something a lot more intimate than he expected.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Don't get him wrong, he loved it. The attention, the gestures of kindness, the help, all of it made his stomach fill with butterflies and each action was greatly appreciated. He just felt lightheaded from how fast this all seemed to hit.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I-I, ah..." shit, he could barely form coherent thoughts due to how flustered he felt. Shit. "T-thank you. But ah, I'm... I'm not cute." Of course, despite how loved he felt and how much he adored this all, Gordon still had his pride.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The skeleton patted his shoulder in a "sure, Jan." attitude. He saw that Gordon had finished his plate of food and was observant of the flustered, almost seemingly overwhelmed, expression the borrower wore. Elton knew that both he and Benrey loved Gordon infinitely, but being a portion of the Griillii's logical side helped the skeleton see from Gordon's perspective and be, quite literally, on the man's level. He was an essential buffer and the borrower's first line of defense from potential dangers, even the dangers of himself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Which is why, with a heavy ribcage, Elton had to kick Benrey out for now. In a quick flurry of irritated sweet voice, the skeleton stood up with his hands on his hip bones, seemingly glaring up at Benrey. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Griillii had frozen in place, beckoned by the intensity of himself. As he stared down at Elton, his face fell to a pout, and soft whine was heard. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>'Now, now Benrey, we know we love Gordon, but this is still very new to him! Don't you think the past 48 hours have been exciting enough for him?'</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Elton internally nagged. Protect Gordon. Protect his emotions. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>'But- c'mon man. Please lemme stay pretty pleeeeasseee?'</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>'No. He needs rest, I need to administer more voice to his injury, and you need to take it easy some... Go call Tommy, please? Get Gordon clothes, furniture, maybe even a new arm. You know he'd be able to make it happen.'</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Benrey deadpanned, thinking for a moment before nodding in understanding. This entire conversation happened in the short time span it took Elton to sing and for Benrey to stop singing. The Griillii smiled down at Gordon, blush still burned into his cheeks. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Bro you're really fuckin' cute, don't lie. 'dorable little star." Benrey spoke, Elton giving an impatient beep when the giant wasn't standing up fast enough. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Get some uh, get some more rest. I'll try n’ get you something real epic for dinner, aight?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The borrower looks over at Benrey, blushing more when called an 'adorable little star.' His tail wagged quickly as he watched the other stand him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I-I'm not!" He tries to insist, blushing heavily.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He sighs before nodding at the second part, "I... okay." He leans back into the pillow. He grabs his tail in a small attempt to get it to stop wagging, he didn't need it exposing him like this. "Uh, thanks again. For everything."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Now standing at the door, Benrey nodded his head and blew some melon Gordon's way. He gently closed the door behind him leaving the smaller entities alone. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you for all of your support! We love all your kudos and comments! (^///^)</p><p>Any fan art is appriciated and can be sent to either of our tumblrs (epicaandk0 and/or prince-aster) or Icy's Twitter (@icy_roulette)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. In The Dark Blue Sky You Keep</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>'I love your name.' He signed. </p><p>'But it's so long to spell out. Do you have a sign name? I don't know much about borrower culture, especially Deaf borrower culture. Asking just in case.'</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Short chapter of Elton and Gordon</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Elton gave a curt nod once the Griillii was gone and turned his attention to the borrower. He tapped on his shoulder to initiate conversation. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>'I love your name.' He signed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>'But it's so long to spell out. Do you have a sign name? I don't know much about borrower culture, especially Deaf borrower culture. Asking just in case.' </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon turns to Elton when tapped on the shoulder, he quietly watches them. He did have a sign name, given to him by the few deaf borrowers he knew from before he went off on his own. He remembered it but... thinking of his old group hurt.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His sister, his family, his friends, everything he left behind. He really didn't want to be reminded of that every time Elton signed his name.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Uh... no sorry. I don't have a sign name, I was never given one." His tail swayed nervously as he rubs his neck.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Elton mimes a thinking expression. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>'No sign-name? Makes sense... I'm not Deaf so I can't really give him one... I can hear and use sweet voice- my form of verbal communica-’</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>The skeleton suddenly pointed at the sky when the epiphany hit. He immediately started signing, clearly excited by this new idea.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I cannot give you a sign name, but! I can give you a sweet voice name!!’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"A sweet voice name?" Gordon tilts his head a little, "that would be fucking awesome!" His tail began wagging again, joining in on Elton’s excitement.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I didn't even know sweet voice names were a thing!" Though to be fair he didn't know a lot about sweet voice in general.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yes, they're quite rare actually! Griillii have the ability to give names but seldomly choose to name anything. They're very solitary creatures, but when they manage to find an entity to care about, a sweet voice name can be given to one or to both if they both don’t already have a name."  Elton explained.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon perks up a little at this, "oh! I had no idea… I uh... I really don't know a lot about Griilliis... like at all..." He laughs nervously.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"If you have any questions about us, feel free to ask. We want you to be informed." Elton offered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon paused at that, his brows furrow, "wait... we? You’re a Griillii, too?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon didn't know that Elton was a part of Benrey. He had heard the two refer to one another as separate entities with their own ideas and opinions. He had assumed that Elton and Benrey may be connected somehow but he didn't know how.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This caused the skeleton to appear taken off guard for just a moment. Oh, shit he forgot to tell Gordon. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"'Well yes,'" Elton signed as if there was slight hesitation in his words. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"But also, no... I can explain further, but please try to relax, okay?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The borrower’s tail stopped before giving curious flicks, his ears remained perked up and attentive. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Um... okay?" He shifts to get more comfortable. He leans back into the pillow before he pulls the blankets back up to tuck him in. Fuck if these things weren't cozy. Way better than the ones he had made through loose scraps and other nonsense. Beans were so spoiled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Anyway, that's not the point. Once he got comfortable in the bed again his attention turned back to Elton. Waiting with a quiet curiousness as to how he can be something but also not.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Elton nods and starts signing once he sees that Gordon is set. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Griilliis are able to break pieces of themselves off to make more Griilliis. However, they can also split themselves into smaller pieces that don't entirely become their own Griillii. Instead, they act as extensions to the main body. If the keystone..." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He signs 'the main Griillii' to the side (written between parentheses) to simulate side information. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"...Wills it, they can allow the satellite - the pieces that are broken off, aka me - to have full autonomy."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The borrower watches as Elton signs, his brows furrowed in confusion as he tries to process what is being said to him. His tail flicks had slowed even more as he tried to understand the information.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"So... wait." He was trying to figure this out, "so you both used to be one? Like you used to be a part of Benrey??”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well, 'used to' would imply that I'm separated forever. No, they can easily take me back if they ever wanted. It's just that there's been no reason to..."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon furrowed his brows more, thinking this over as well. "So... if he did do that would you... like... die?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He paused, "I guess die isn't the right word... but you'd be gone, and there would be no way to bring you back? Like he could make another skeleton and make it autonomous, but it wouldn’t... be you? I guess?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Elton tilts his head innocently.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Philosophers would be mauling each other to near their physical deaths had they had the chance to listen to such a seemingly innocuous conversation; about the mortality of an alien skeleton no less! What is characterized or is ever defined as the "self" becomes convoluted in the world of Griilliis. They just are. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Come back? I will always be here - from the moment I was willed it was set in place that I simply 'Am'. If I return to Benrey, that won't remove me. I am him; he is me."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Elton explained, hoping that Gordon wouldn't grow forlorn from his initial assumption of the skeleton's potential to simply cease existing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"And I will always be me, Gordon." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Upon signing the borrower's name, honey and lemon colored orbs flew out of his skull. Elton grows excited, flapping his arms some before signing his revelation to Gordon. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"See that?! That's your sweet voice name. Honey with lemon. Same as. G-O-R-D-O-N."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon watches intently as Elton signed, the worry he had felt before melting away, revealing a little bit more confusion. So, Elton and Benrey were the same? Completely? Then why was one Elton and why was one Benrey? Why was one a skeleton? Why was one not a skeleton? Why didn't they look the same? Why....</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His thoughts trail off when he saw Elton’s excitement, his eyes being filled with the sight of the new sweet voice colors. His sweet voice name. He would be lying if he said the honey and lemon colors didn't look stunning. Seems the sweet voice was as stunning as always.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Woah..." he paused before smiling, "fuck yeah! That's awesome!" His tail returned to wagging, just a little. He was excited to have a sweet voice name. His hands reach up and grab a honey colored orb, he continues to smile. "Wait, do you and Benrey have a sweet voice name?" Wait no, that's wrong, "sorry, do you have a sweet voice name?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Elton wishes he could smile at Gordon.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He shakes his head no. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"We don't. We haven't seen another Griillii in over a millennium, and even then, the names of others were not important to us." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Millennium was signed as "1,000 years."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh shit..." Gordon rubs his neck a little as he thought about the information he was presented, "that sounds... kind of shitty. I'm sorry to hear that." Gordon had always been a bit of a loner, but it was hard enough not seeing another borrower for so many years. Not seeing anyone like you for 1000 years must be really difficult to deal with.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm sorry if this is like... rude to ask, but how old even are you?" He'd been on earth for hundreds of years, hasn't seen another Griillii in a millennium, so that implies Benrey, and Elton, had been around for a long time. Did they exist before the Earth was created??? How long do Griillii's live for??</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It took a moment for Elton to calculate the number and to think about how to tell the other.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well, I am as old as for however long you've been in this apartment. But Benrey, he's-"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His boney hand does a "so-so" motion before resuming. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"9 B-I-L-L-I-O-N. Plus or minus a couple million years? The exact number is hard to pinpoint." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The borrower’s ears perk up and he sat up a little, so much for relaxing. How do you relax when you learn your roommate is around 9 billion years old?! That should not be possible!</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"N... nine... billion???" It was hard for the borrower to process such a large number. Sure he considered himself a little math savvy, it helped him keep organized and know what he needed and how much of it, and while borrowers did have some schooling it was usually focused more on survival then their equivalent to math and science. To try and process such a large number when the most he needed to use, ever, was basic multiplication, division, addition, and subtraction, was rough.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He felt like he might get a headache as he tries to understand what exactly that means. How could something live for so long? It shouldn't be possible! It just shouldn't. Right???</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He moves and puts his head in his hand, still trying to process what the fuck he just heard. "Shit..."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Blue spheres of light hover under his face and float up, lightly bumping against Gordon's cheek. A boney hand is placed on his shoulder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The borrower looked over when the skeleton did so, he watched quietly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Um... how long do Griillii's live for?" He tilts his head a little.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With one hand, Elton points and motions the sign for 'always', roughly translating to, "Forever."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh shit..." The borrower blinks. Damn. If 9 billion years threw the borrower for a loop, the idea of eternity gave him a fucking headache. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>That also brought some odd ideas. Could he get into a relationship with an entity that would outlive him? Would Benrey want to date something as small as him? Something that will vanish in a blink of an eye for the other.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Elton administered some more calming blue sweet voice and threw in some heal-beam as well. The skeleton would have reassured him on more time shenanigans, but that would have to come for another day. Gordon had already absorbed so much information; information that would boggle the mind of anyone that wasn't a Griillii. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"'Try not to think too hard on it. You need rest."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon nods and lays back down, he moves his hand to his head and sighs. "Yeah.... yeah okay.... I should sleep."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The calming sounds of teal to green heal beam on his arm would be the last thing to grace his ears before sleep befell him. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you all so much for your support! We hope to upload chapter 14 tomorrow since chapter 13 is so short.</p><p>Also! Icy made some drawings of Elton: https://prince-aster.tumblr.com/post/634738125825032192/elton-is-a-funky-little-skeleton-boy-that-i-have</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. And Often Through My Curtains Peep</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The Griillii had been trying to contact his friend in New Mexico for the past 10 minutes to little to no avail. He figured it would take a while - it always did - with Tommy being long distance in another country and being so busy all the time. Seeing his old friend's face was truly a treat.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Face Time Calling Sound: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zzlpGk955Ds </p><p>Now sweet voice translations fam. But this chapter does feature Tommy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>'Do do do do do.'</span>
</p><p>
  <span>'Do do do do do.'</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"C'monnn pick up." An impatient voice bemoans. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>'Do do do do do.'</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then suddenly the sound of someone picking up alerted the caller that there was a successful connection. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yooo!! Tommy!!" Benrey stopped his idle pacing to greet the young man on the other end. His face took up most of his camera goofily, a quirk he never bothered to correct himself on. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Griillii had been trying to contact his friend in New Mexico for the past 10 minutes to little to no avail. He figured it would take a while - it always did - with Tommy being long distance in another country and being so busy all the time. Seeing his old friend's face was truly a treat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The voice on the other side gasps in excitement, "h-hello Benrey!" A bark could be heard before the man shushed the dog. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>On the other side of the phone Tommy flaps his arm excitedly, the phone held in his other, messy hand. Sunkist was laid on the floor at his feet, tail wagging a little.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's... it’s been so long since you last called! I m-missed you!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Bro, I've missed you too... It's been, like, way too fuckin' long." Benrey mused with a smirk. He let himself collapse onto the couch before getting on with what he wanted to talk about. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"So, like... A lot has happened. And a bro may be in need of some, uhh, miniature doll stuff?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>How did you even word such a request? It's not like it was commonplace for humans to call one another and ask how to buy clothes or furniture for tiny mouse people - well, unless that was their hobby, then go off. Regardless, he still needed Tommy's help: he was the only friend he deeply trusted. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tommy smiles brightly as Benrey spoke, only to pause. "Miniature doll stuff? O-of course, I can get you some! Can... can I ask why?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The scientist began pacing back and forth as he spoke. Sunkist lifted her head a little to watch her owner pace the kitchen floor.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Benrey's end was silent for a few pauses before a sigh was heard.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well, you see, there's this guy and..." The Griillii embodied a meme for a second there before chasing away a blush on his cheeks. "He's kind of like, 4 inches tall?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He knew Tommy wouldn't call him crazy flat out, after all, both of them personally knew and experienced unadulterated crazy at Black Mesa together. However, he still couldn't shake the feeling of seeming like he too was on the precipice of insanity, no matter how nice he knew Tommy to be. The man would never be so cruel. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The scientist gasps when Benrey says there was a guy; he bounced a little on his heels. Benrey had a crush??? Oh, how exciting!!! More exciting than... than a can of soda on a sunny day! Tommy didn't vocalize his excitement though; he would wait for Benrey to finish speaking first.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The silent pause made Benrey clarify more.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah, a- a tiny little mouse-man that is in need of a wardrobe, and uh, I was hopin' you could possibly maybe help a bro out?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tommy’s small bouncing paused when Benrey continued. Four inches??? Well that's... that's smaller than a can of Sprite! </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"W-well of course Benrey! I would love to help!" He paused, "but are you... are you sure? Four inches is really small! Especially for a p-person!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Super sure, man." Benrey confirmed with determination. It was then that the memory of why else the clothes were being sought after smacked him in the face. The arm! His fucking arm! Fuck. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Though I have to note something... Something dire, about the little guy." his voice grew solemn, not liking the pain this next fact would derive. He could feel his face pull into a deep frown.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tommy frowns a little at Benrey's solemn tone and expression, rarely did Tommy hear Benrey sound like that. It made him worried, very worried. "O-of course! Is everything okay?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sunkist noticed Tommy's worried tone and stood up before leaning against their owner. Tommy moved his free hand to pet the dog. Fluffy and perfect, just as it was made to be. He smiles at the feeling, his worry melting away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"His arm, it uhh..." The Griillii swallowed. "It got cut off.... And- and I was wondering if maybe D-Darnold could take a look? Get him a new one?" He tried with a hopeful tone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tommy perks up before nodding quickly, "of... of course!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He then got an idea, "oh! Me, Darnold, and Forzen could... could all come over! T-to visit! Darnold and I could help your... your friend! A-and you and Forzen could play games! Oh, it would be so much fun to see you a-again!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Bro, - you'd do that for me?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>This plan had Benrey immediately sitting up in his seat, expression beaming with an animated glint in his eyes. He almost didn't expect Tommy to accept so fast, but, then again, this was Tommy fuckin' Coollatta he was speaking to: dude got shit done.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Y-yes! I'm sure I could get us on the... the next available flight! We'll be there faster than... than a cheetah!" Tommy had returned to happily bouncing on his heels. Oh this would be so fun!</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"M-maybe I could bring Sunkist too! She's... she's really gentle! Especially with small things!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A chortle left Benrey's throat at the scientist's euphemisms. They were always so adorable. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah that sounds pretty poggers. I'm sure the apartment complex wouldn't mind. Might suggest getting a hotel, however. Pretty cramped in here for 5, ya know?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>For a moment, Benrey lived in a world where he forgot that maybe bringing 3 giant strangers and a huge dog into his apartment might not be the best idea. Surely the time between now and when Tommy arrives would be enough time to warn the Borrower and prepare him.</span>
  <em>
    <span> Right?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>"O-of course! I can start looking for a nearby hotel!!" He paused, "what's your... Your address?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had returned to pacing. If they were going to take a plane, they'd need tickets and a carrier for Sunkist. Or Sunkist could fly herself there.... Darnold could use his rocket boots... but after the kidnapping incident Sunkist hadn't let Forzen ride her. So, a plane would probably be best, for his sake.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"And what kind of equipment should we... we bring? A-Are there any stores we can get the... the supplies we need for a prosthetic? This is all so... so short notice! What are we going to need to... to bring!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Woah- It's not super duper urgent that you get here in like, the next 24 hours. It's chill bro. Just maybe sometime in the week... still kinda sudden for us too."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Benrey tried to soothe Tommy's fire. A lot needed to be figured out, however, the most important items were the clothes. He sighs some, feeling bad for making it seem like Tommy had to get here ASAP. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'll text you my address, don't really remember it off the top of my head,"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Benrey admitted. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"And as for stores? Not really... Not really much up here in this part of the world. Mostly just lil fishing villages n shit like that. Largest town is about an hour drive from here - St. John's, that’s also where the airport is as well."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"But... but I'm just so excited! It's been so long since I last... last saw you!!" Tommy shook a hand excitedly as the other held the phone. Benrey's words did get him to calm down a little, a week or so was much more time to plan when compared to a day or so.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He chuckles, yeah, he could imagine something like an address being hard to memorize. He's pretty sure Forzen had that same issue. His pacing came to a stop as he thought things over.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I-I suppose we could always drive to... to the bigger town if we need anything. I doubt they'd let our equipment on the plane. It... it definitely wouldn't be OSHA approved to have it all loosely packed in a s-suit case."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wondered if Darnold would still be able to bring his rocket boots.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Still! I'm... I'm already looking forward to it! It's been too long since we... we last hung out." It would be a lie to say he hadn't missed Benrey, he considered the alien his best friend. One of the few people who could understand his half human nature... even if he himself struggled to understand it. He understood why Benrey moved, it was for the best! But he did still miss all the time they used to spend together.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This was just an excuse to make up for lost time then! He was sure it would go perfectly!!</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hell-yeah man. Loving this game plan, though I wouldn't know how to sneak contraband on to a plane... Maybe your old man could pull some strings? I know he's more than capable, lol." Benrey playfully suggested, fiddling with a bit of his hair that fell into his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tommy paused before he began stimming with his hand again, a happy gasp escaped him. "G-good idea Benrey! I'm sure my dad would be more than... then happy to help!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tommy hops more, very, very excited. He gets to spend time with his best friend, his boyfriends, his dog, and whoever his best friend’s new friend is!!! This was going to be the best week(s) ever! He was sure of It!</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"We can get lots of s-soda too! If... if you don't already have lots."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Dude, bring as much soda as possible!! Bring the good stuff!!! I miss soda from the states. Oh!!" Benrey needed to mention the clothes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Could you link me to some websites for maybe finding custom made clothes for dolls? Wanna see if I can get a fit for him before you all come over."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had only seen the Borrower in the handmade garments and gayly wondered how handsome he would look in some fresh Gucci. The Griillii in him wanted to spoil Gordon absolutely rotten.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Of... of course! I'll text you some links and... and see what I can do about the soda!" Tommy stopped his pacing once again to lean against his counter. He had a massive smile on his face, "it was... was great to talk to you again! I... I need to go! The cookies I'm... I'm making for Darnold and F-Forzen are... are almost done!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He glanced at his oven once before smiling more, "G-Goodbye Benrey!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Smell ya later, bro!" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>With their farewells, Benrey hung up the phone, leaning back into the couch with a sigh. His thumbs got to work in looking up his own address to send to his friend. Idly thinking, he put together a small to-do list: clean the apartment, get Gordon prepared, go hunting for small clothes in St John's, and maybe make cookies for the borrower too…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tommy would link him some cute custom doll clothes and patterns for if he wanted to make his own. He also informed Forzen and Darnold of their new plans for the next week. Tommy was very, very excited.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was warming up to becoming a very, very busy week. Ghetsis help them.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Icy's first drawing of Griillii! Benrey: https://prince-aster.tumblr.com/post/634820005794562048/one-of-the-first-drawings-of-griilliibenrey-i-did </p><p>Behold, the next promised chapter! Thank you all for your support.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. For You Never Shut Your Eye</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Despite a rude awakening, Elton tries to get Gordon back on his feet and ease the man's worries. The skeleton does his best to give his new boyfriend some TLC.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Notes: Elton is gay.</p><p>But we been knew. Also, that heal beam is pretty fast acting.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>It was around this time that the borrower began to wake from his sleep. But it wasn't a slow, natural awakening. The borrower let out a soft hiss before whimpering in pain. His eyes squeezed shut and his good hand grasped at the severed limb. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Phantom pains.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The nub felt like it was burning, causing tears in the borrower’s eyes and his form to shift uncomfortably. His ears pressed against his head as his tail tucked between his legs. Those tears then rolled down his cheeks when he opened his eyes and finally faced the wound again. He bites down on his tongue so as to not scream and distress the others.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The taste of copper in his mouth informs him that that wasn't a good idea.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Unaware of the man's distress, Elton continued to fiddle with the bowl of water that had long since grown cold. He was trying to push it far away to another part of the bed to keep it from spilling near Gordon. The success kept him at a far distance. It wasn't until the skeleton turned to look at him, after getting intuition to check on the other, did he notice. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>If Elton had skin he would've jumped out of it. Gordon was crying and the sweet voice cocoon was gone. The fear and concern got the skeleton to start sprinting, reaching the borrower in seconds to sit down and start administering care. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Elton starts with calming blue orbs; gently caressing Gordon's cheeks between his boney hands to turn his head towards him, before shooting the sweet voice at his mouth. His thumb-bones tenderly wipe away the tears from his cheeks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon's head snapped up to face Elton when the skeleton put their hands on his face. Tears rolled down his cheeks when he first met the cold black gaze of the skeleton. He leaned himself a little into one of the hands, just needing some sort of comfort. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His tears slowed immediately, and his breathing began to return to normal as well.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But since the pain wasn't fading quiet yet, Gordon dug his nails into the skin above his shoulder, trying to just will the burning sensation to stop. His tail remained tucked and his ears remained flat against his head as he tries to deal with the massive amount of fucking pain he's in.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Shit." He hissed through his teeth. As the other entity in the apartment might describe it... this is not very poggers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Even the dosage of sweet voice he administered didn't seem to be enough, Elton lamented.  He needed to hit the pain at its source. Keeping a hand on Gordon's cheek, continuing to rub comforting circles, the skeleton angled  himself to start applying the team-green heal beam to the irritated stump. The cocoon was beginning to form once more with inklings of blue stitched in.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The borrower watched as the skeleton worked, still leaning into the hand for comfort. He was sure if this had happened even just a few months prior he'd be freaking out, struggling against the skeleton, trying to rip off the odd substance wrapping around his arm. While he couldn't say he trusted the skeleton, and by extension Benrey, completely, he also couldn't say he wasn't thankful for everything they had done to help.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He leans back into the pillow, as relaxed as he could be. Shit, that stuff could be really fucking strong.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He finally released the death grip he had on his nub when the cocoon began to form. His tail gave small, flicks, instead of just being tucked under him. He took deep breaths as the cocoon began working, even the slightest relief in pain was welcome. It was much better compared to the agony he had felt before.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"T-thank you."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The skeleton nodded in response, the hand giving a few pats to his cheek. It was a silent 'you're welcome'. Relieved that Gordon was no longer in pain, Elton took a few locks of the borrower's flowing hair and started to idly run his fingers through it. Occasionally he would run the phalanges along his scalp to softly scratch and massage with intent of giving the other some much needed attention.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon closed his eyes and let himself lean into the scratches. That felt amazing holy shit. His tail begins wagging as he continues to lean into the touches. "Mmm..."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A soft purr escapes the borrower as he leans more into the pillow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This delighted Elton to no end. Phew. Successfully calmed Gordon down and even got him to purr!! A total win... for now.  Boney fingers worked their magic: detangling the wavy brown curls, picking out miscellaneous clumps of blood, and combing the hair between his fingers. Yeah, he definitely needed a bath soon.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon continues to lean into the skeleton's hand, but his ear would twitch every time the fingers snagged on something. Gordon was coming to a similar conclusion of yeah, he needed to wash his hair, and clothes, but he still couldn't get out of bed. Even if he did make it out of bed, though, he still lacks a way to get around because.... because....</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm sorry," it's weird to feel ashamed of something you have no control over. He isn't sure if he's apologizing for his messy hair or losing an arm, but he still felt compelled to say it.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘God Gordon don't cry about this again, you already did that. Jesus’</span>
  </em>
  <span>. He starts blinking away the tears that tried to form, not looking at Elton.</span>
  <em>
    <span> ‘Pull yourself together!’</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>The sensation of something smooth and cool presses against Gordon's cheek. His hair is no longer being messed with, the hands now wrapping around him in a comforting embrace; about as comforting as a pair of boney arms could be. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A skeleton kiss with a bone hug. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Elton didn't understand why Gordon felt so guilty, but understood that he probably would've felt the same emotions had he been a mortal too. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He pulled away from the kiss to wipe the tears away on the visible side before cupping the borrower's other cheek to have him face him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘You don't have to hide anymore…’ Elton signs with one hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The borrower paused when he felt the cool limbs embrace him, it was odd, kind of uncomfortable, but welcomed. He tightly hugs the skeleton back, his ears pressing against his head as he did so. His face grew a little warm once he realized the other was trying to kiss him. Part of him worried Benrey would be upset, but then he remembered Elton and Benrey were, apparently, one in the same. So he blushes more.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He slightly leans into the boney fingers as they wipe away the few tears he had; God, he really was a mess. He lets the skeleton move his head to face them, his green and brown eyes meeting the empty sockets of the skeleton’s. It was cold, but weirdly comforting.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"... I.... I don't know..." but he had to hide. He's a borrower!</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The hands gently patted his cheeks before pulling away. Some sweet voice bubbles that were the color of chardonnay were blown towards Gordon. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>'You're okay, everything will be okay...'</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Elton translated calmly with a firmness to his hands' movements. He paused, then signed, </span>
</p><p>
  <span>'We may be strong, but you are stronger.'</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon watched the sign quietly, frowning a little more. His arm move to hug himself and his tail also curls around his legs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"... but I'm not! I can't do shit anymore! You can.... you can change your form and size, you can be fucking intimidating, you can go outside and not be fucking terrified of everything! I can't! I...." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He moves his hand to wipe away his returning tears. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm fucking useless. I can't hide, even before this whole mess I couldn't!! In any other household I'd.... I'd be dead! There's no fucking way!" He felt angry, but not at Elton or Benrey, at himself. He felt angry he let this happen to him. That he was unable to do anything about it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He knew he sounded like a broken record but ever time he looked at his arm it was all he could think about.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Elton solemnly watched. This was going to be a long journey for Gordon. The skeleton wishes he had the innate knowledge of a therapist, but all he could do right now was just try.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>'You are not useless. You can still stand, still use your other arm, and still think, yes?'</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The borrower paused before shrugging. "But..."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He sighs and curls up more. "But I'm still weak. I can't... I can't do anything like this. I... I'm trapped...."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The sound of bones moving alerts the borrower to Elton standing up. A boney arm extends a hand down at him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>With one hand, Elton signs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>'S-T-A-N-D. We walk.'</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon hesitated before nodding, he wipes away the few remaining tears before taking Elton's hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He would be a little shaky at first, both due to the bouncy texture of the bed and being weak from spending so long in bed. He held onto Elton's arm so as to not fall back down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Elton was quick to help stabilize Gordon, wrapping an arm under and around the borrower. He would be his crutch. He took the first experimental step with their eye sockets on Gordon.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon frowns as he finds himself unable to stand on his own. Sure it was nice that Elton was helping but... but it didn't stop his feeling of helplessness. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Despite this he still decides to try and walk, starting with the first step. He leans into Elton, stumbling a little as he did so. "S-shit..."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>'1 s-t-e-p. take t-i-m-e.' </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Signing with one hand was hard. Sweet voice made of honey and lavender sang out. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>'y-o-u. g-r-e-a-t.'</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon's ears perk up a little before smiling a little. "O-Okay... okay... uh, thank you"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He carefully takes another step, leaning a little into Elton when he stumbled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The two eventually make it to the edge of the bed, Elton holding dearly to Gordon to ensure he didn't stumble off. He turned to him and signed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>'You t-r-u-s-t me?'</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The borrower paused, his tail flicked nervously as they stood so close to the edge. Did He?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yes. He did. At least he thinks he did.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Without Elton, without Benrey, he'd be dead. Trapped in a cage with [REDACTED] running tests on him. Torturing him for their own amusement, revealing borrowers to all of bean kind.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I... I do..."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With the strength used to perform impossible acts of dexterity, the skeleton turned and lifted Gordon bridal style. He held him close and tight as he leapt off the bed, descending at a slow speed down to the ground.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon’s ears perked up and he flinched a little when picked up. He held onto Elton, expecting a harsh and sudden drop.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A drop that never came.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He slowly opens his eyes, looking around a little as they slowly descend. He recalls seeing Benrey do this when he was first getting to know him, so he shouldn't be surprised... but it still felt odd. His brows furrowed a little in confusion.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Upon reaching the floor, Elton stabilized himself and gently helped Gordon onto his feet. He still held dearly to the borrower, hoping the stable ground of the floor would be easier to walk on than the cushiony mattress. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>'S-t-e-p together. 1... 2... 3...'</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The solid earth was much better, his ears returned to the usual position but his tail continued to sway. His eyes glanced up at Elton, "o-okay".</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He took the next step on three, stumbling a little but not falling.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The skeleton nodded approvingly as if to say, "there ya go! You got this!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Each step taken was counted off by Elton, their slow movements taking them towards the door. Benrey wouldn't be barging in anytime soon, he made sure of it to ensure Gordon has no interruptions or scares that might hinder their progress. He was doing so good too; he couldn't be a more proud mass of bones. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>'How are you feeling?'</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon's tail was wagging a little as he walked. Sure it was slow, and he needed to rely on Elton for support. But just being up and moving felt refreshing to the borrower. While he could no longer dash across countertops or use his hook to access seemingly impossible locations, this was a start.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He glanced at Elton when the skeleton began to sign, he paused. How did he feel? Confused, thankful, worried, alive, nervous, who knows what else. He racked his brain for a proper answer before he smiled softly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"... Better."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This seemed to brighten the skeleton's demeanor - if expressions were even visible on the skull. Elton gave a thumbs up as a response due to the limited range of phrases able to be said with one-handed sign language. He knew that in order for Gordon to start feeling better he would definitely need a warm bath to ease the aches that were probably wracking his body. Being manhandled by a monster didn't exactly loosen up muscles. Making the decision final in his skull, he pointed at Gordon, then twisted the hand under with a claw that pulled towards his ribcage , before spelling out "bath". The rough signing translated to: </span>
</p><p>
  <span>'Do you want to take a bath?'</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon's ears perk up before his tail wagging slowed to a stop. He really, really did need one. The blood from his own arm and cutting off [REDACTED]'s finger still stained his upper body, even without his tunic. He could imagine he didn't look or smell great either, not after all the shit he had been through. He really did need one but...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He felt hesitant. He hadn't been.... well... naked around Elton and Benrey. He was sure he could bathe himself, or at least, he hoped he could... but his arm... his arm may make that difficult. He knew he'd need Elton, or Benrey, to set it up for him because of... well... because of his arm.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I... yes but... is that a good idea? With um... with this?" He gestures to the nub wrapped in sweet voice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Elton inspected the arm-stub. The heal-beam has helped a small layer of scarring to form over the muscle and bone; it's just starting to heal, and is still at high risk of bleeding out again if agitated. Another couple of weeks with rest and sweet voice healing and the injury would be fully healed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>For now, the skeleton deemed the arm okay enough to put in water - the teal-green would act as a hydrophobic barrier that would keep the stub from being sensitive to the temperature, the soap, and cleansing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Elton would have blinked if he had eyelids. He sang more teal and green at the nub, making sure to add a good amount of layers. Usually it would be bumpy from orbs clinging to each other, but that would allow water in, so with his boney hand, Elton smoothed the voice out like icing on a cake, plaster on a mold, mud facial on a Karen, or whatever other analogies there are. The colors had turned opaque from their usual translucency upon being smoothed out, effectively sealing the wound and hiding it from the borrower. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Elton pulled away and made a knocking motion with his hand. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>'Yes.'</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon watched as Elton applied more sweet voice and smoothed it out. He then looks over the nub quietly, "huh..."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His eyes then look back at Elton. He... He did need a bath, like, really badly. His tail flicks a little, giving away his slight nervousness. He wasn't sure why he was nervous - embarrassed maybe? Shame? Who knows.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I... okay. If you’re.... if you're sure." He takes a deep breath in before forcing a small smile. </span>
  <em>
    <span>‘Fake it till you make it Gordon.’</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>'I can wash clothes.' </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Elton offered, guiding the borrower to the bedroom door. Thankfully it had been left partially open in the event Gordon got the opportunity to walk around again; the same had been done to the bathroom door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The borrower continues to walk alongside Elton, staying close to the other for support. He really, really didn't want to fall on his face right now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He nods to them, "that... would be nice. Uh, thank you."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The skeleton nods back. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It takes a decent while, but the two manage to finally make it into the bathroom. Now standing  at the base of the large sink, Elton realized a new problem: how was he going to lift Gordon up to that height without jostling him too badly from the force it would take to leap that high? Descending was one thing, it was ascending that troubled him some. He didn't exactly have a means of helping the borrower climb up places - a skill that he would need to acquire ASAP - but he wondered if... </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A soft knock on the wooden door frame caused the skeleton to turn around.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon noticed Elton's pause and frowns. He couldn't exactly read the expression of a skeleton so he honestly had no idea why the two of them had paused. But before he could think too much on it he heard the knock.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Someone's up early. Need a hand, err... Need, a uh, need a lift?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Benrey quizzed, peeking from around the corner. He bit his tongue back from the facetiousness that slipped.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The borrower turns his head and looks over, ears perking up a little more due to the unexpected sound. Oh, just Benrey. Good. His ears returned to their usual position.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon's green and brown eyes glanced up at the sink, then back to Benrey. Ah, that must be why Elton paused. Guess that makes some sense. He nods to Benrey, moving his hand to rub his neck a little.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Uh, yeah. That’d be nice."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Upon affirmation, the Griillii steps into the bathroom, and kneels down before the two. A large hand is placed down next to Elton and Gordon for them to step onto. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"All aboard the Benny express, bro." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He chuckles softly. Elton takes their cue and starts to help Gordon onto the hand, sitting down on the palm so it would be more stable for the both of them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Thank you." Gordon accepts Elton's help and slowly gets on the hand. He felt better than when he had first gotten up but he was still not perfect.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He sits down next to the skeleton, his tail flicking back and forth as he glances around. It's been a while since he was last held in a hand that wasn't about to throw him in a cage or remove his arm. Fucking [REDACTED]... asshole. Thankfully, the hand that currently held them just wanted to hold and protect the borrower, to love him indefinitely. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Making sure the two were secured, Benrey slowly lifts them up, careful not to jostle either as he brings them up to his chest. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Club goin' up- on a Tuesday~"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He sang as he stood, using his second hand to help navigate his passengers to the sink counter. The hand laid out flat again on the porcelain surface.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon chuckles a little as Benrey sings. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once the hand was laid flat Gordon slowly stood up, a little shaky at first, but still okay. He smiles softly, proud of himself for standing on his own. But he wouldn't risk walking on his own, his legs didn't quite feel ready for that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Elton clapped a bit, so proud of Gordon's small progress. He was soon at his side helping him walk off Benrey's hand. The hand retracts once the two are off. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Thank you." Gordon says again to Elton once off the hand. It was nice to not be trapped in the bed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I think we may, uh, have a clean dish under here." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Benrey mentioned while lowering down to open the cabinet under the sink. He grabbed a nice looking shallow-ceramic bowl and a selection of soaps that came in a mini sample collection. He set the bowl down on the corner and placed the soaps down by the borrower to let him take a gander at. Despite having all these soaps, the Griillii didn't need hygiene items; not because they were gross, but because bacteria didn't survive on the surface of their skin. No bacteria, no smell.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon turns his gaze to then watch Benrey search for and place down the ceramic bowl. His tail swayed a little as he watched them do so. He then glanced around the bathroom: he didn't enter the bathroom too often because he really didn't need to... He also didn't think he saw Benrey enter it much either... Odd.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Bro, please use any of these soaps. I just have 'em here, being unused. Fuckin' tragic. I only got em cause they looked cool and were expensive."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon’s thoughts paused at the talk of soaps before nodding, "um okay. Uh, thank you, again." He rubs his neck again; wow, he really did sound like a broken fucking record.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A small look of amusement graced Benrey's face; Little feetman's way too polite. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Y'know I might just have to kiss you if you keep this up." He mentioned in passing as a finger lightly ruffled Gordon's hair.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon blushes at the comment, his tail wagging as Benrey begins to mess up his hair. He moved his little hand to swat the finger away. "Hey! I'm about to try and clean that!!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh? Wig?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The finger pulled away and moved to the unopened array of bar soaps. The box was labeled "Goat Milk Soap by Snorf, est. 1950. Made in Nevada, U.S.A." and had 7 different scented soaps displayed within: fig leaf; honey &amp; orange blossom; sweet grass; vanilla cream; honey oats with milk and cinnamon; honeyed grapefruit; and lavender. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Which, uhh, which flavor appeals most to you?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Benrey asked, opening the top of the box to access the soaps. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I can even pull 'em out, see how each one vibes."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon approached the box and read it over quietly, beans really were spoiled. ‘</span>
  <em>
    <span>So many choices, how do you ever decide?? Well... the sweet voice Elton gave him had a honey color to it... so it would be kind of funny if he chose something with a honey scent in it.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Okay that idea narrowed down his options. Honey and orange blossom, honey oats with milk and cinnamon, or honeyed grapefruit.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Well he wasn't all that interested in honeyed grapefruit, didn't have the right... what's the word Benrey uses... it didn't have the right vibe to it.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Honey and orange blossom sounded nice, but it was a little too on the nose. I mean, he dressed in orange and had honey in his sweet voice name, not very subtle Gordon.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>That left honey oats with milk and cinnamon. Hm... it sounds nice. Would probably smell nice. Eh, fuck it, why not.’</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>"Honey oats with milk and cinnamon, please."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The clawed hand reached into the box, pulling out the selected soap bar with careful fingers. Benrey unwrapped the soap bar and placed it down by Gordon for him to investigate. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yo this smells really fuckin' good. Epic choice. Have a sniff." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Benrey commented while using a nail to cut a small corner piece off that looked like it would be a good size for Gordon to use. He held the piece out for the other.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The borrower took the small piece of soap before smelling it. </span>
  <em>
    <span>‘Damn, that was good. Well done Gordon!’</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He chuckles to himself before looking up at Benrey, "you’re right, that smells fucking amazing."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Pog." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A half-smile is given to Gordon. Benrey put the other soaps away and then grabbed the bowl, holding it under the faucet. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"So, uh, what kind of temperature would you like?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Warm. But not, like, hot. I don't want to burn." He was sure Benrey would never actually burn him, at least he greatly hoped the other wouldn't, but he felt it needed to be said. Just in case.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah yeah, it'll be cool... well, uh, not cool, but?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They tried with a sheepish grin at their backfired pun. The warm side of the faucet was turned on, filling the 2 inch basin to about half-way with steamy water. Benrey placed the bowl in the corner once more, and stuck a finger in; it felt all right? Elton stuck a hand in as well, and nodded up at the giant. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh fuck yeah. I hope this is fine, bro. Come test it out." Benrey called out with Elton rushing back to help Gordon over.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon smiles at Elton before letting the skeleton help him over. He did feel embarrassed that he needed the skeleton's help to move around, but he was also thankful that Elton was willing to help.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once close to the basin he stuck his hand in, gently feeling the water. He paused before nodding and pulling his hand away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's good." He nods.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Sweeeeet. Here's a wash rag that you could maybe use as a uhh drying towel." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Benrey mentions and pulls out a thin but soft looking washcloth from seemingly nowhere. He places it down next to the bowl. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"That should be everything, i think? Don't think I have a rubber duck your size, which is real cringe."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon paused before chuckling, "I should be fine without a rubber duck."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He then paused. "But in all seriousness... thank you. For everything. I... I don't know how I'll ever repay you." He rubs his neck a little as he spoke, feeling a little ashamed that he needed so much help.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"you can- uhhhh,  you can kiss me?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Griillii suggested with a smirk, lowering himself to lean against the sink.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon's face goes red and his ears perk up at that, his tail also begins wagging like crazy. Someone might get the wrong message from all of this, he was shirtless, in a bathroom, and genuinely debating whether or not he should kiss Benrey. Fuck.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"... you promise your not gonna fucking eat me or some shit?" His wagging tail gave away his nervous excitement since he'd managed to keep his voice steady.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A small bluish blush appeared on Benrey's face and he lowered his head close to Gordon to keep him from having to walk more. He gazed at the borrower with hopeful eyes. </span>
  <em>
    <span>‘Please don't be a prank.’ </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>"You keep- you keep makin' me promise as if I'm gonna do it someday." He teased with the tip of his tongue playfully blepping out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I have to be sure you're not going to try something." Gordon sighs. But his sigh couldn't hide the fluttery feeling in his chest as he looked at Benrey. </span>
  <em>
    <span>‘Fuck, he was kind of cute.’ </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>The borrower then took the few small steps needed to be close enough. He paused, ‘</span>
  <em>
    <span>was he really about to... yeah. Yeah he was. Don't kid yourself Gordon.'</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He leaned in and plants a kiss to the bridge Benrey's nose. Not brave enough to kiss his lips... er... well at his size he'd probably only be able to kiss a lip.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>To Benrey, the kiss was more than enough compensation. More blush appeared on his face as he pulled away with a small bit of pink and blue sweet voice floating out of his mouth. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"S-see? no- no munchin' no snackin'-- just a lil 'kith'." He shyly stammered. "Better- uhh better get in before it gets cold."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah..." Gordon wasn't sure he was comfortable getting undressed around Benrey and Elton. "Uh... could you.... turn around for a second? I dont... i dont like being naked around other people."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh- shit, of course y-yeah. I'll be in the kitchen," Benrey awkwardly thumbs to the door to take his leave. "Elton will wait on the corner or floor if you, like, need him for anything." He finishes and slips out of the room, hiding the blush on his face. Elton sat facing away from the borrower on the edge of the sink when Benrey pointed him out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Okay, uh, thank you." Gordon watches as Benrey leaves, he also makes sure that Eltons back is turned before he starts to get undressed. He didn't know how Elton saw anything without any eyes, but apparently he did.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He folds up his pants, socks, and glove, before pulling the string out of his hair. He ran a hand through his mess of brown hair just to try and make it a little less tangled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With that done he got himself into the two inch basin. He sits down and smiles, letting out a soft purr as he relaxes in the warm water. Fuck that felt amazing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>In a silent shuffle of movement, the clothes were soon collected by Elton who did not dare take a peep. He took the clothes and jumped off the sink to run off to go clean them somewhere, leaving the borrower to his own devices.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon heard Elton moving around but trusted the skeleton enough to not turn and make sure they weren't looking. Instead he grabbed the chunk of soap Benrey had gotten him and began cleaning himself up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It felt fucking amazing to get all the blood and grime off his skin and out of his hair. He could almost describe it as... freeing. A reminder to himself that he wasn't fighting for his life, he wasn't so worried about survival that he couldn't enjoy a little time to himself. Sure it was just a bath, but how often did he get to bathe and really enjoy it? Not often.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He made sure to also clean his ears and tail, while they weren't blood soaked like his stomach it was still a good idea to keep them clean.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>shout out to @Omnidadofficial/@Omnidadcreation via Twitter for letting us reference your Invader Zim OC Snorf and their goat farm in Nevada. Blease go check em out if you're a furry - they make amazing fursuits. 🥰💕</p><p>P.s shout out to the person who told me I uploaded this to the wrong fic, your the real MVP.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Till The Sun Is In The Sky</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>"The clean kitchen had a purpose now - HE had a purpose now: take care of Gordon. Being lackadaisical for so long got boring, he was bored of being bored, however, the Griillii was surprised that he's now finding the motivation to do things not just for himself, but for someone else. "</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sorry for the week-late update!! Thanksgiving and finals week really smacked time out of both our hands, so have last week's update and this week's update! </p>
<p>The bois be baking. owo</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>"So we got the sugar, brown sugar, salt, butter, da egg, the vanilla juice, flour... fuck," Benrey broke his listing and started to search around the kitchen. "Was it baking soda or baking powder???" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was magnificent having counter space again and being able to actually use the kitchen. The clean kitchen had a purpose now - HE had a purpose now: take care of Gordon. Being lackadaisical for so long got boring, he was bored of being bored, however, the Griillii was surprised that he's now finding the motivation to do things not just for himself, but for someone else. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Typical case of a lovestruck Griillii. Surely at the start of this mess, he had hoped for it to be just a simple crush and an excuse to mess with the borrower. Traveling with him for months, annoying the shit out of the tiny man, pranking him, being a jokester, and then finally liking him made Benrey's mind spin for once. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Where had the time gone? How did he fall so fast? </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Oh yeah, time is fucked. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>What was supposed to be perceived as a day-and-a-half to the Griillii ended up feeling like 3 full years when he had shrunk down and mimicked borrower anatomy. In turn, his mass had overcompensated for the need to have a long adventure and increased the time by a fraction, resulting in Benrey developing and molding the crush into full on like-like feelings. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>'Just say love. You've told him already. Why not just say it?' </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>... </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Ohh it was baking soda! Fuck yeah." Benrey remembered with a little cheer. He reached for the ingredient and set it with the others. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Then last, and most certainly not least, da chocolate chuunnnnks." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The bag plopped unceremoniously onto the counter next to the gathered items, thus concluding Benrey's list of things needed for chocolate chip cookies.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Now for the uhh, oven, i think...?" He mused, leaning over the stove to squint at the dial settings, mumbling the other settings in search for the needed one. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Meh nnmeh nuh muh- uhhh, bake!" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The oven started to preheat at 350f/180c leaving Benrey with the time to get the dough put together. And time to silently fret. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Shit, i hope he even likes chocolate chip cookies... what if he likes macadamia-nut, or peanut butter... sugar cookies?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon had Elton drop him off on the kitchen counters, he convinced the skeleton that a change of scenery would do him good and he promised to be careful. He'd been getting better at walking, sure he occasionally needed to take breaks, but he was regaining his strength. Now, he was actually able to walk on his own! No help needed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>... Still missing an arm, but there wasn't much he could do about that.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He weaved through the baking supplies, looking them over. He was curious. In the short amount of time he'd spent in Benrey's apartment before fleeing in fear, he'd never seen them bake. Or really do much outside of eat, sleep, and game. It seems their time as a borrower must have done some good, since they’re being much more active.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Benrey's rambling was heard, Gordon wasn't paying too much attention but he still listened. He was a little ashamed to admit he was startled when Benrey just dropped a bag of chocolate chips on the counter. Gordon nearly fucking sprinted.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But he calmed himself down and returned to his wandering, listening to Benrey talk to himself. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His ears perked up when Benrey spoke about chocolate chip cookies, he assumed the 'he' Benrey had mentioned was Gordon, himself.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Oh! So that's what you're making." He chuckles to himself, feeling a little dumb for not figuring it out sooner. "Yeah dude, I like chocolate chip. Though the others are good too." He'd had quite a few cookies in his time. Living with a fairly-forgetful and elderly bean, who loves to bake, will do that to you. As he had said before, he was kind of spoiled by the older bean... wonder what happened to her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Benrey flinched in genuine surprise when Gordon broke him from his stare off with the mixing bowl, a stream of teal shooting out in a squeak.  How the hell did Gordon get there? How did he not sense him?? Fuck he also had heard him rambling - well, that at least solved his initial worry. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon blinks twice, surprised when Benrey shows actual-genuine surprise. Well, that's a nice confidence boost! So apparently it was possible to sneak up on Benrey; difficult, but possible.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The Griillii stared for a split second and then smoothed out as if the borrower hadn't spooked him just now. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Y-yeah man, uhh... Makin' some recipe I found online. How long- how long you been there?" He quizzed while lowering himself to be eye level with the counter.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon’s eyes watch as Benrey shifts to be more eye level with him, he smiles at the gesture.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Only a minute or two." He shrugs. "I told Elton getting out of the bedroom and looking around would do me some good. Of course I don't plan on fucking leaving the apartment, just wanted to do more then sleep."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He begins looking over Benrey's supplies again, his tail curiously swaying behind him as he did so. He's seen cookies made, especially since he did once live with an elder bean, he saw it all the time in fact, but he'd never done much of his own cooking or baking. Some borrowers did, but not Gordon. Never had the right supplies or enough time.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Is it hard to make cookies?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Mmm," Benrey smacks his lips in faux thought. "Nah. Just gotta mix the sugars, other dry stuff n then the wet... Only 'problem' we may have is the lack of utensils..." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Benrey realized with a soft frown that quickly did a 180 into a smirk. He raised a clawed hand up and it melted right before their eyes, shifting and morphing into a black spatula with similar accents to the blade Gordon owned - though it was blue instead of red.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Oop. Problem solved! So, uhh, wanna- wanna help me bake?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordons ears perked up as he watched the hand shift into a spatula. That... that was.... honestly he doesn't know why he's so surprised, he's been carried around by a skeleton for the past little while. He shouldn't be surprised.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He noticed the similar accents and frowns in thought. </span>
  <em>
    <span>‘Huh... maybe it was a coincidence? Maybe?’ </span>
  </em>
  <span>Despite how unlikely that was, it was the only logical explanation. That was a shiv. This was Benrey. That's the tool used to cut off [REDACTED]'s finger. This was Benrey. That shiv ended up costing him an arm. This was a Griillii who had kind of been spoiling him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His tail wags when Benrey asked if he wanted to help, a big smile forms on his face. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Fuck yeah I do!" He grins.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Benrey smiled at this and rose to his full height. They still needed a straining siv for the dry ingredients - oh yeah, duh; the other hand transformed into the needed utensil. Still needing hands, the tool arms shifted down and a 2nd pair of arms sprouted from the Griillii.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Here, take my phone and read out the steps to me. We could even let you measure out the dough to make cookies that are, like, you sized once I finish mixing." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Benrey suggested while pulling out his smartphone from his pocket and placing it down next to Gordon. He opened the device and the recipe website displayed the instructions for "the best chewy chocolate chip cookies." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Oh, and if you wanna play music too, you press this button," He presses the home button. "Then uhh press this square with the red 'n white triangle," YouTube was selected. "And in this section, there's a music playlist that I've put together of songs that I think are dope as hell. Just select whatever song you think looks cool. No wrong choice on this playlist." He boasted. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Benrey did his best to explain the basics of working a smartphone to a person who probably had no idea what the fuck he was talking about; but he still wanted to explain since the borrower would probably be living with him from now on.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon watches and listens quietly, his ears perking up and his tail wagging a little more as he looks over the phone. He's never personally interacted with a cellphone, but damn has he wanted to. He watched as the entity used the odd device. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Huh..." He shifts close to read the names of the songs. One in particular piqued his curiosity. A song by some dude called 'Frank Sinatra'.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sure </span>
  <em>
    <span>'I Love You Baby'</span>
  </em>
  <span> isn't the most eye-catching name, but after all the shit he's been through a mindless, sappy love song would probably be fine. He uses both hands to select the song.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His tail continues to wag when that both actually works and the music begins playing.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Woah! That's... really cool!"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Right?" Benrey chortled, blushing from the song choice. It was the song he wanted to confess to Gordon to. And now... by Bikriin, he had selected the song. He started to softly sing along with the words. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The borrower paused before perking up when Benrey began to sing. He looks up at them, watching quietly. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"You're just too good to be true~" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Benrey lowered himself near Gordon letting multiple eyes open. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon shivered when Benrey looked at him with so many eyes, yeah he needed to get used to that. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Can't take my eyes off of you," </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The yellow eyes close and a finger boops Gordon on the head.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"You'd be like heaven to touch..."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It then curls around under his chin.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I wanna hold you so much," </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon laughs and blushes when poked, swatting the finger away as he blushes. Of course he stopped trying to swat it away when it curls under his chin, oh fuck, yup, he was blushing a lot.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The Griillii’s finger pulls away, but is replaced by a few more fingers gesturing in a silent question. 'Wanna dance?' </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"At long last, love has arrived... and I thank God I'm alive."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The borrower paused again before chuckling and nodding, he did a small spin before taking one of the entity's fingers to dance with it. His tail was wagging happily as he did so. Yeah, this would definitely be against the rules.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eh, who cares. It was fun. It wasn't baking like he originally thought, but it was fun.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"You're just too good to be true... can't take my eyes off of you~" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Benrey beamed ecstatically when Gordon took a finger, the multiple eyes opening again for the lyrics and lovingly gazing at the other. The Griillii would've taken steps of his own but figured it would be a bit difficult and probably dangerous for the other. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Pardon the way that I stare, there's nothing else to compare..." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The multiple eyes half lidded themselves watching the borrower dance with his fingers. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"The sight of you makes me weak,"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Benrey leads Gordon through a light spin. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"There are no words left to speak... but if you feel like I feel... please let me know that it's real," </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A finger from the free hand came and lightly pressed itself against the smaller man's back. The blush growing on Benrey's cheeks while his main eyes looked away bashfully. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"You're just too good to be true... can't take my eyes off of you." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The eyes look back up, his hand doing its best to lead the other through a very messy and uncoordinated dance when the music picks up.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon wasn't a very skilled dancer, he could dance, but he wasn't amazing at it. He'd also never danced with only one hand or an entity much larger than him. But despite these challenges it didn't bother him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The borrower had a massive smile on his face.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He lets himself be twirled and he continues to follow the Griillii's lead. His tail following behind him as his hair flowed freely as he spun. Gordon was lucky enough to have enough control over his tail to not trip himself with it, but it still wagged like crazy behind him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He didn't mind the messiness or lack of coordination. This was fun. It was fun and it made his heart do flips in his chest. Plus Benrey was singing, and it was beautiful.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon would not complain.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He loved this all too much to complain.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I love you baby and if it's quite all right, i need you baby to warm the lonely nights," </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The finger on Gordon's back moved away to lay flat on the counter with the hand, Benrey's palm opening itself up as a secondary dance floor. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I love you baby, trust in me when I sayyy~" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Benrey's "heart" was pounding while giving Gordon a hopeful look. The words to this song were hitting close to home.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon did one more spin on the counter before stepping onto the large, clawed hand.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He chuckles at the sight of Benrey's hopeful expression, he felt himself blush. He loved the fluttery feeling that filled his chest as he smiled up at Benrey. This was nice, so fucking nice.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Benrey grinned back down at Gordon, carefully lifting their hand up to bring the borrower to face level. He had no right being so cute, so dashing, so handsome. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Oh pretty baby don't bring me down I pray, Oh pretty baby now that I found you, stay~" Gordon smiles at Benrey when brought to eye level, he gave a small wave before he returned to dancing. He still followed the others lead, but improvised his steps since he wasn't following another person, just the movements and guidance of a clawed finger.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Benrey starts to move his own feet to the music, being careful not to move too fast for Gordon's sake. He doesn't seem too half bad at it - it's almost like he had been preparing for this moment, or something. The dancing slowed at the next line.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"And let me love you baby... let me love yoouu~" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The Griillii purred into repeating the first chorus with a few orbs of pink to blue sweet voice flying out. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"You're just too good to be true. Can't take my eyes off of you,"  Benrey was careful to not lead Gordon too far to the edge of his hand.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The blush on Gordon’s face grew as he saw the sweet voice and listened to the lyrics. It was enchanting really, the music, the colors, the words. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He especially blushes at the deep rumbling sound that was Benrey's purr. He'd never quite heard anything like it. It was uniquely Benrey's. Oddly fitting for the sharp-toothed-and-claw-handed, yet surprisingly gentle, creature.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon decides to playfully purr back, his tail wagging more as he did so.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"You'd be like heaven to touch. I wanna hold you so much. At long last, love has arrived. And I thank God I'm alive... You're just too good to be true, can't take my eyes off of you~" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The music picked up in beat from the bridge for the final time before the dramatic ending stanza. A soft pause was garnered from the band holding the last chord in a decrescendo that lead into, </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I love you baby! And if it's quite all right, I need you, baby. To warm a lonely night." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The steps Benrey took were a shortened version of the dance he had wanted to lead Gordon through at borrower size. Another hand sprouted amidst the passionate singing to help the Griillii gesture and express more. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The borrower paused when he noticed Benrey form another hand, before he chuckles. He couldn't say the expressive hand wasn't endearing, it was kind of fun watching the extra hand add more to the lyrics.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I love you, baby... Trust in me when I saayyy-" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The hand points to himself with all fingers planted on his chest. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Oh pretty baby, don't bring me down, I pray. Oh pretty baby, now that I found you stay. Oh pretty baby, trust in me when I saayyy~" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Benrey's finger guided the borrower in a series of jives, managing to even dip the man with precise fingers. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon continues to let Benrey lead him, blushing and laughing as he's led through each jive. Of course his laughter was cut short when he was dipped. His ears had perked up and his tail wagged even faster in response to the dip. Green and Brown eyes look up at the Griillii.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I need you baby! Well won't you come my way? Oh pretty baby. Now that I found you, stay," </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon was lifted closer to Benrey's face, the finger pulling him to the edge of his wrist. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"And let me love you baby…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The borrower doesn't fight when moved to the edge of Benrey's wrist.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Any other time Gordon might have been nervous or scared of being so close to the edge. But instead he was red in the face, chest fluttering as he looked at Benrey.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The Griillii softly sung, finishing the song by gently pressing the tip of his nose against Gordon's chest with half-lidded eyes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Let me love yooou~"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The tail on the borrower was going full speed as he found Benrey so close. His eyes met the intimidating yellow ones, a small shiver running through his body with how close the two of them were.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He didn't break the silence.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As the music ends, Gordon looks at Benrey. The dance, especially the ending, had left the borrower completely red in the face. His tail wagged happily behind him as he held the gaze. He was worried that if he moved or spoke it would break the calming quiet that now filled the kitchen.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Thankfully the next song to come on the playlist was a slow and peaceful lofi original, letting the two have a moment of respite. The nose nuzzled Gordon some, but didn't pull away; wouldn't want to let him fall or lose his footing. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Man, teach me how to dance sometime. That was-- that was fuckin' epic; you were like, so so amazing." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Benrey quietly mumbled in a tone only Gordon could hear. A smirk and intense blush of his own graced his face. Man, seeing that tail wag and his beautiful eyes light up... so fucking worth it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Y-you were really good as well." Gordon smiles up at Benrey, his cheeks still covered in blush.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He paused before smiling more, he then leans in and kisses Benrey's nose. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"So... should we start making those cookies?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The Griillii ate up the kiss and pulled away, his own lips planting themselves on top of the smaller man's to return the favor with a quick kiss. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Fuck yeah. You want back on the counter or wanna chill on my shoulder? Phone can be placed anywhere, so no worries about that." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Benrey inquired while returning back to the cookie baking station.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon blushes more when kissed on the head, oh wow, he didn't expect that. He adjusts his hair a little, a dorky, flustered smile on his face. His tail was still wagging like crazy too; he moved his hand to try and catch it. Stop it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"You don't think having the phone on your shoulder while it's playing music would be too distracting?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I mean you being here is pretty distracting enough, Mister Gordon Blushman." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A chuckle left Benrey while lifting the borrower to his right shoulder.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon rolls his eyes before getting onto Benrey's shoulder and sitting down. A playful purr escapes him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Well I can always just leave if I'm too much of a distraction." He was just joking, teasing. He hoped Benrey wouldn't tell him to go.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Whaaat? Noooo." Benrey playfully whined with a pout. "How will I- how will I even know how to make the cookies, bro? Without my baking buddy?" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Guess you'd have to figure that out for yourself." Gordon smiles and shrugs, looking up at Benrey.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>One of the Griillii’s many hands stretched and reached for the phone on the counter, picking it up and bringing up to the shoulder Gordon sat upon. Black tendrils from the Griillii's shirt sprouted and coiled around the ends of the device, securing it in place with the screen facing Gordon in a landscape position; a tendril turned the phone on and the screen rotated accordingly, now on the cookie recipe page while the music played in the background.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon flinched a little at the sight of the black tendrils, he hadn't expected that. Despite his initial fear he did shift closer, giving the chocolate chip cookie recipe a quick read-through so that he knew how to instruct Benrey.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Plus I think I'm a little small to be your baking buddy, might just be a baking assistant, or mascot."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Nonsense. You're like, the best greatest bud." Benrey lightly shook his head, not believing Gordon for one second. The utensil hands came up and readied themselves, awaiting for the borrower's instructions.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"What's the first step, bro?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"The very first step is to preheat the oven, which you've already done." Gordon smiles, glancing at Benrey before looking back to the phone.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As he began to focus on the words on the screen his wagging tail slowed, moving in small back and forth motions, his ears slightly perked, showing he was focused and attentive. He didn't want to mess this up. Otherwise Benrey may not let him help with cookies again. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"So we start by... whisking together the sugars, salts, and butter. It says to use a large bowl and whisk until it's a paste with no lumps." He paused, oh! It’d be a good idea to tell Benrey how much of everything they need as well! "You need 1/2 cup sugar, 3/4 brown sugar, packed, a teaspoon of salt, and 1/2 cup of melted butter!" He smiles up at Benrey once he finishes reading.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The Griillii mumbled the instructions to himself for a few seconds to memorize what Gordon had stated. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Aight. Makes sense, makes sense." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Benrey was quick to measure out and scoop things into the bowl with his multiple arms. It looked comical seeing the limbs all working together, sort of like a spider almost. The arms working on the butter stretched up and microwaved it for a few seconds without Benrey needing to look. Everything was sifted together, mixed, butter over it, and mixed again to where it began to form a thick sugary brown paste. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon watches how seamlessly the arms worked together, he was silently amazed by it. With how many times he's tripped and stumbled on his own four limbs, well, five if you count the tail, either way he's pretty sure having more than that would lead to even more accidents. But not for Benrey, apparently.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"What next, cookie commander?" He couldn't help but grin at that one.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“The next step is to whisk in the eggs and vanilla. Beat it until light ribbons fall off the whisk." Gordon then scrolled up on the phone until he re-found the measurements. "You need... 1 egg, and 1 teaspoon of vanilla extract."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Some arms were pulled back into the Griillii's body, no longer needed. The next steps were completed; the egg and vanilla being whisked in until the ribbons formed, while the egg shells were disposed of by Benrey absorbing them into his hand. Gross - but, effective. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"We got dem ribboonnnss. I wanna assume we need the flour and soda stuff next, right?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon watched with a mix of confusion, shock, horror, and amazement as he blatantly watched Benrey absorb the egg shells. He... he wondered if he should feel safe on Benrey's shoulder... but if the other planned to hurt him they would have done it by now.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>... Right?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Yeah, it's flour and baking soda next." He smiles, "specifically we need to sift the flour and baking soda, then fold the mixture with a spatula. It also says not to overmix it. Overmixing will cause the gluten in the flour to toughen which will result in cakier cookies. The measurements are..." He scrolls back up, "1 1/4 cups all-purpose flour and 1/2 teaspoon of baking soda."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Ooo, gluten is so weird like that. Unless you want cakey cookies, lol?" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Benrey quipped while adding the rest of the ingredients to the cookie dough mix. Once it was mixed enough, he reached for the bag of chocolate chunks and easily tore it open. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"How much chocolate ‘you cravin'?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Well... the recipe calls for four ounces of milk chocolate and 4 ounces of dark chocolate. So that should be good." Gordon looks away from the phone and up at Benrey's face, "unless you want more, of course. I'm fine either way."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Cool cool. We'll just follow what the recipe says then." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The Griillii compromises and eyeballs the amount of chocolate chips and chunks he throws in. A hand reaches in and pulls out a small chocolate chip piece, lifting it up to Gordon. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Want some?" Benrey offered.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Fuck yeah!" Gordon smiles and takes the chocolate chip. He smiles brightly and takes a bite.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Mmm! Yup. Can't go wrong with chocolate.’</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Okay. Now we want to fold the chocolate chips in, afterwards we want to chill the dough for... 30 minutes. Unless you want a stronger taste, the longer it rests the more complex the flavor is." He squints at the phone, wow, didn't realize cookies had complex flavors.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Benrey hummed in thought for a moment. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Hmm, I mean, I'm down for any flavor of cookie. I'm more worried about- uhh, about what flavor you want. Ya know?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I think it’d be best if we just follow the instructions, so, 30 minutes." The borrower turns to Benrey and smiles, his tail wagging happily behind him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Truuue. Cookies gotta take a chill pill for a while, helps with shaping them a bit too, i think?" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The bowl of cookie dough was picked up and brought over to the fridge while Benrey rambled.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Oh! Fun chocolate chip cookie fact, did you know that the creation of these cookies were an accident? Like, some lady was in a rush to make chocolate cookies, but forgot she'd run out of cocoa," </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The fridge door closed and Benrey began walking to the living room.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"So in a quick pro strats attempt, she used logic and thought 'woah! If i put these chocolate pieces into the dough, it'll melt and mix with the cookies while baking!' But guess what didn't happen. Instead, what came out were the first chocolate chip cookies. The people she was making the chocolate cookies for loved them - even more than the OG ones she was supposed to make.... Moral of the story? Uhhh. Cookie good." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Benrey finished on a less than inspirational note, having grabbed the TV remote and a PS4 game controller, turning both systems on while taking a seat.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon listens to him ramble, tail swaying behind him. "Huh... that's kind of cool. I didn't know that. But cookies are good."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He then watched Benrey pick up the tv remote and controller. He gripped onto the shirt to make sure he didn't fall off the entities shoulder when they sat down, his eyes remained focused on the items in their hand.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"So... I take it you have something in mind to do as we wait for the cookies to 'take a chill pill' as you put it."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Mmhm." The menu screen loaded up and the game was immediately selected; the SEGA logo popped up and transitioned to the game's menu screen that displayed: Yakuza Kiwami.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span> "Gonna play some uhh Yakuza Kiwami. It's a serious crime drama about some Japanese mafia dudes. Though, I must warn it's kinda boring to watch."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon paused before shrugging, "that's fine. It's just so we can kill thirty minutes."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He crossed his legs and rested his hands in his lap, eyes glancing at Benrey before focusing on the screen.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The phone on the Griillii's shoulder had been removed by the very tendrils that held it, setting a timer for 30 minutes and haphazardly tossing the phone onto the couch. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Woot timer set. So basically I'm gonna start from the very beginning so that you can know the story ‘n stuffs. ‘S'it's pretty cool." Benrey explained while starting a new save file.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon nods and turns to watch the tv. "Sounds good dude." He never paid much attention to what Benrey was playing when gaming, he just knew humans were often distracted enough that it was fairly safe to go out scavenging as they drowned themselves in the loud sound and changing colors of the tv.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>For the next 30 minutes, Benrey played through the beginning of the first Yakuza game. He explained any questions Gordon had about human life, especially Japanese life and culture, while also mimicking the character's voices to read the dialogue that wasn't voice acted. It seemed like time had flown by for the timer started to buzz on the couch; no sound, just buzzing that the Griillii could pick up on.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As Gordon watched the game he eventually shifted from sitting to lying on Benrey's shoulder. Gordon rested his arm behind his head as he watched the t.v. He had a handful of different questions but mostly just watched. It was a little confusing, but he didn't mind. He lacked a lot of context but that's because he was, obviously, not human.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon began to feel tired around the fifteen minute mark. This is the longest he'd been awake since the incident, he was approaching the time he usually napped - since he was still in recovery.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was around the twenty minute mark that the borrower actually fell asleep.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Benrey paused the game and glanced at the borrower on his shoulder. </span>
  <em>
    <span>‘Aww, woah. The little dude conked out.’</span>
  </em>
  <span> A soft smile formed from the sight. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Well, don't wanna wake him - he needs rest. That, and Tommy had idly mentioned something about 'feeling like you got hit by a truck' if woken up too soon or whatever.’ </span>
  </em>
  <span>Yes Benrey had once impishly woken Tommy up to show the man a new poggers high score (world record even) in this really hard game he'd been grinding at for weeks, but the Griillii knew better now. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Just, don't wake Gordon. Get the cookies finished. And let him rest. Simple.’ </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The controller got placed on the coffee table, leaving Benrey with a free, but very uncertain hand. It shouldn't be hard to just pick the tiny man up, however, picking him up when he's awake is easier - he can tell you if it's okay or tell you if it's too scary - but what about when he's asleep? Benrey gulped. Gordon was known to be a pretty light sleeper, and any slight movement, sound, or even a smell could potentially stir the alert man, and Benrey seemed to be very talented at scaring the poor dude... </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A hesitant clawed hand hovered over the borrower. </span>
  <em>
    <span>‘Dear Ghetsis please don't wake up.’ </span>
  </em>
  <span>Benrey blinked dumbfoundedly as he now held Gordon in his hands. He nervously bit his bottom lip while he watched - any second now... </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>... </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>...</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon did not wake up. A quiet sigh of relief sounded from Benrey from the success. The Griillii brought the smaller man up to his chest with the side of his hand pressing against it; two more arms sprouted to help with the cookies as he entered the kitchen. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Working as quickly and quietly as possible, Benrey did his damndest to get the cookies in the oven, having even scooped out tiny bits of dough to try and make some cookies that were more Gordon-sized. He ended up microwaving the smaller cookies since they would've burned in the larger oven.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The borrower remained completely asleep as the Griillii worked on the cookies. His chest continued to rise and fall, showing his calm and steady breathing. His tail was completely still, unlike it's usual active motion during the day, his ears also remained in their neutral position.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He was comfortable in the giants hold, not minding, or not noticing, the quick but quiet movements of cookie making.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>After 15 minutes of standing there with a sleeping Gordon, Benrey removed the cookies to let them cool while he returned back to the couch. The two arms disappeared and the free one took precedence to turn off the gaming system, switching the TV to a station that was currently playing a documentary about space. Seems relaxing enough. Benrey thankfully had half a brain to not flop onto the couch like usual and instead opted to gently lay himself down. The hand holding Gordon placed him down upon Benrey's chest.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon only really moved when Benrey laid him down on his chest. He shifted to lay on his side and lean more into the creature's warmth. He didn't have his usual bed of cotton, or the giant bed with fuzzy blankets. So the borrower pressed into the warmest thing he could, trying to bundle up like he normally did when sleeping.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aside from that he continues to sleep peacefully, not comfortable enough to start purring but not uncomfortable enough to wake up.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Benrey's lips purse while watching Gordon's silent pursuit to seek warmth. Shit, he probably needs a blanket or something. His eyes glanced around the couch; no dice - well, in this case, no blankets. Well... there was one thing. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A large nervous hand lays itself across the borrower in a make-shift shield from the open air. It cupped over the tiny man, trying its best to not put its full weight on him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon relaxed when the hand draped over him, his small squirming stopped again and he grew still. Softly breathing.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Soon his soft breathing mixed with something else, thanks to the extra warmth Gordon had begun to softly purr. A small smile formed on the borrower's face.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Immediately relieved by the reaction, Benrey turned their attention back to the documentary marathon - a marathon that would carry on into the next morning for the same time that took the borrower to sleep. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. As Your Bright and Tiny Spark</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>"Gordon wasn't sure if he was terrified of Benrey, or in love with Benrey. He supposed that for all intents and purposes, it was both. He feared yet also loved the creature. He felt an odd combination of worry and affection anytime he was held by them. He loved their kisses but felt the need to ensure those teeth weren't going anywhere near him. It was confusing as all hell."</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>"Gays uwu" -EpicAandK</p>
<p>"For this chapter, it's at the late sunday posting because yesterday (December 5th) was my 20th birthday!! Woo!! ;w ;" -Icy</p>
<p>After baking, the gays go shopping... And Gordon learns something new in probably one of the worst places you can learn something.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Gordon Freeman wasn't sure how to feel about Benrey.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>On one hand he was the most terrifying thing he's ever seen. A borrower's worst nightmare. He could smell your fear, form new limbs, change size, make whatever Elton is, and a whole bunch of other things Gordon probably didn't even know about.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>On the other hand, he was also the nicest person he's ever met. He saved his life, he's helping him recover, he let him use the bed, he made steak, they baked cookies together, and the list goes on and on.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon wasn't sure if he was terrified of Benrey, or in love with Benrey. He supposed that for all intents and purposes, it was both. He feared yet also loved the creature. He felt an odd combination of worry and affection anytime he was held by them. He loved their kisses but felt the need to ensure those teeth weren't going anywhere near him. It was confusing as all hell.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon currently sat on the bar section of the countertops, he was watching the other quietly. He was pretty sure they were going to make more cookies together, but he also wasn't entirely sure. So for now he watched, his tail lazily flicking behind him as he watched them move around the kitchen.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Just watching the other gave him a bunch of confusing emotions. Adoration, joy, worry, nervousness, shame.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He was pretty sure he loved Benrey, no, he was sure. He practically kissed his nose or finger anytime he was given the opportunity. But despite all the affection he held for them, he wasn't certain how much he trusted them. Yes they saved his life so he knew Benrey would never mean to hurt him. Doesn't mean he still can't.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The entity could drop him, forget he was there and crush him, accidently put him on the cookie tray and turn on the oven, who knows.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Okay maybe he shouldn't think such morbid thoughts, it wasn't helping.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Uh... what kind of cookies do you wanna make next?" Nailed it, excellent distraction Gordon. Talk to the entity that you had mixed feelings about. Not about those feelings, of course, but about something trivial to get your mind off everything.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Mmm," The creature in question smacked his lips in momentary thought, staring into the almost barren fridge - as one does. "Well, I uhhh mostly just prepared for chocolate chip cookies? But like, if you're craving other flavors then we gotta go to the store." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Benrey finally closed the fridge and stepped away to converse with the borrower. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Plus we need milk. Can't enjoy cookies without milk, ya know?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon's tail began wagging a little when Benrey looked, much like a dog's tail might give a happy wag when you give it your attention.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"It’d be fun to try and make other flavors of cookies as well." He says aloud, "what kind of cookies should we make? There's so many. I never understand how you beans decide what to choose." He was more so talking to himself than the Griillii, seemed he forgot to completely zone back in.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He blinks, oh yeah, fuck. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Yeah, maybe if you're going to pick up milk you should restock your cupboard too. It's.... looking.." He glanced around to make sure Elton wasn't nearby, "bone dry."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That got a snicker out of Benrey.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Bro, you're so fucking right. It's even hard for me to make a decision sometimes. Just gotta know what options there are and just go with the one that sounds the most epic." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He pulled his phone out of his pocket to start searching up types of cookies cause even he didn't know what kinds there were; humans, or 'beans' as Gordon would call them (and him), were always coming up with new food trends and recipes. It was hard to keep track. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Lookin' at this list, there's so many kinds of cookies. Oof. Uhhh," He scrolled through the list and read names out. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Snickerdoodle, oatmeal raisin- oh fuck that one. That's one I would not wish upon you, bro. Like I can eat anything, and find it enjoyable - even tree bark - but fucking oatmeal raisin cookies? Fucking cringe." The rant was passionate but died down as the Griillii kept reading. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Uhh gingersnaps, shortbread, sugar cookies, peanut butter, YOO WHOOPIE PIES? Forgot about those oh my Ghetsis." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Benrey quickly fumbled with the phone to quickly pull up a picture of a chocolate whoopie pie to hold it up for Gordon to observe. Then again, he should've been showing the man the other cookies too, but that can happen at any time regardless.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The borrower's ears perked up when he was shown the picture on the phone. Wow, that... actually looked amazing. "Woah, what is that?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He honestly hadn't seen a whoopie pie before, the old bean he lived with mostly made chocolate chip, sugar, and peanut butter cookies. Not... well, whatever that amazing thing was. He was very curious and wanted to try it. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Could we try making that?"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Benrey nodded happily in response. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Fuck yeah bro. Let's go right now; still a decent time, I think?" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He took a quick look at the clock and then turned back to Gordon. Two twenty-four. Yup. Still a good time. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"You wanna... wanna come with me?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon had never been to a store before. He'd been in homes, apartments, and outside. But never specifically a human store. Normally he'd refuse; too dangerous, too many beans, too much risk.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But now he wasn't scavenging.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Now the little borrower was filled with curiosity about these stores.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"S-sure." He nods before pausing, "... would it be safe?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The Griillii blinks in response for a second. Oh yeah, the other had more concerns about safety n stuff than he ever could; but now, those concerns were his. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I'm positive it would be if you stick close to me. Big ole Benrey's here for you, bro."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A bit of electric blue sweet voice hummed out of him, floating like bubbles out of a bubble blower. He forced a small grin to stop the song short, still uncertain about how the borrower felt about his voice.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon watched the colored orbs curiously, his ears perking up at the song. It was kind of nice, pretty.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I... okay." He nods, "it would be nice to go out for once." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He stood up and stretched a little, "how do we want to do this?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Could ‘put you in my pocket? Just gotta get my sweater with a pocket on the chest. " </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Benrey gestured to the bedroom with a thumb, the other hand held itself out for Gordon to step on. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Be little gordo in my pocket."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The borrower once again climbed into the clawed hand. He holds onto the index finger for support once on the hand.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I guess... wouldn't get to see much from a pocket though." His ears drooped a little, he wanted to see the world outside, feel the fresh air again. He honestly didn't realize he said it out loud at first. It took his brain a minute to realize what he had said, quickly Gordon tried to back track. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"N-not that I mind! If that's what's safest then that's what we'll do!"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Watchful eyes catch the disappointment, making Benrey quick to suggest other methods. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Well, there's always the option of riding on my shoulder? I mostly suggested the pocket cause it's like... kinda really fuckin' cold out." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The hand brought the borrower close to his chest, a finger from the other hand coming to rub at his back reassuringly. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Like, freezing cold. Nip you in the ass cold... Where would you, uhh, want to be? I promise you'd be safe anywhere."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Oh..." Gordon paused in thought, trying to think of a good spot that is both warm and allows him to hide if needed. His ears then perk up and his tail begins to happily wag, the little borrower got an idea.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I could go on the front of your sweater! It would be warm and I could have a pretty good view of everything."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Oh pog? Mean like in my collar?" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon got lifted to the spot Benrey thought he was talking about. The Griillii pulled the plush sweater collar out some for the other to climb in. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Does seem really warm now that you mention it. Probably just need to be careful about not slipping down."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon nods, crawling in and getting himself in place, moving to hold onto the shirt collar. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I think I should be okay, thanks dude."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He looks up at the Griillii and smiles brightly, his tail wagging a little. He was excited to finally get to go outside.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"No prob. No prob. Elton got your shoulder patched for the day, you had breakfast, and the kitchen is clean enough." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Benrey did some glances around while checking off the list aloud. Fuck, yeah. Everything seems to be in order. Not much needed to be done, and Elton could handle the rest and hold down the fort. It's go time. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Whips, nae naes, I think we can leave now...." The door was almost in reach till the Griillii had a quick reminder about something important laying on the coffee table. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Ohhh yeah! My wallet - that's right. Beans need, like, this fucky lookin' paper in order to get stuff they want. Slips my mind a lot, especially when I don't use it for so long. Though, I've been poppin' some tags these past few days." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He pulled out a blue Canadian 5 dollar bill with some balding nerd's face printed on it to show Gordon. Currency on Earth had always fascinated the Griillii, watching the humans go from gold to credit cards. He didn't understand it, nor did he try to; it just made no fucking sense. Though, if he was going to live on this planet he still needed to abide by </span>
  <em>
    <span>some</span>
  </em>
  <span> rules. Tommy had explained as such and had been gracious enough to send him "little" stipends of cash every once in a while. Something about "preventing Benrey from stealing in mass quantities and causing another mysterious market crash" or whatever.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"But yeah. It's real cringe." He huffed, putting the dollar back into the wallet and shoving it into his sweatpants pocket.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I've seen beans use those before." Gordon said as he looked over the money, "I never understood it though. Why would you trade away perfectly good stuff for something so flimsy?" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The struggles of not being human while living in a human society. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Still the borrower was excited, he loved to learn. He could learn a lot about beans from this. He chuckles to himself "if I had known we planned to go out I would have gotten my notebook."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He paused.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Oh yeah, no, that wouldn't work. He hasn't figured out how to write with his non dominant hand.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Uh, nevermind. Let's just go."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Benrey gave a grimace to that realization, only able to say, "F..." in response while walking out the door. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>For whatever ungodly reason, Benrey somehow had a car to get from place to place. It was rarely ever used, but he'd utilize it every once in a while when Tommy would come visit or if he just wanted to take the scenic route across the countryside. When you were a celestial shadow monster, driving didn't sound as much fun when you could just zip around at intense speeds. However, the Griillii couldn't just subject Gordon to the conditions he thrived in; it would cause the other to not... thrive. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Once more, thank Ghetsis for Tommy, with his best friend gifts and for the silver Dodge charger Benrey was currently getting into.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon looked at the car as they approached. Once again he'd seen cars, lots of them, heard humans talk about cars, watch commercials featuring cars, cars, cars, cars. But Gordon had never actually been inside of a car. Curiously he looked around it's interior as Benrey got in, looking over the seats, dashboard, steering wheel. All of it was... different.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"This would be a shit place to have to borrow from." He mutters to himself.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>No easy hiding spots, no obvious place to build any sort of home, not a whole lot that was useful. No wonder he'd never been in a car before.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Fucking, right? Major sucks. 'so cramped in here too... Well, not for you, but, lol." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Benrey closed the door and with a press of a button, the engine of the muscle car roared to life. He quickly adjusted the thermostat to blow warm air to start making it warm enough for Gordon to feel comfortable.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The borrower's ears perk up a little when the engine rumbles. It's not an unfamiliar sound, but it still surprised him a little.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He relaxes more when he feels the car beginning to blow warm air, a soft hum escapes him. This was nice, this was very, very nice. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Hm, yeah, I suppose. If you're cramped though... couldn't you make yourself a little bit smaller? At least until we're at the store?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A light shake from Benrey's head prematurely told him the answer. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"This is as small as I can get for the time being. Fucking sucks. It's a personal cool down we have... Just gotta not eat for uhhh, a couple more weeks?" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He lamented to Gordon, pulling the useless seatbelt over his person; don't want a ticket anytime soon. Feeling the borrower relax against him told him that he was secured in his spot as well. A hand reached for the gear shift and shifted to reverse.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon leans into Benrey as he begins to drive, but his eyes are more focused on everything outside the window. His hand gripped the shirt collar tighter as he looked around. It was odd seeing the world from so high up, or at least high up compared to where Gordon usually stood.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Woah..." He breathed, smiling brightly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The Griillii could literally smell the excitement and happiness radiating off the borrower. Humans need to figure out how to put this shit in a candle cause holy shit was it the most amazing scent. He couldn't stop his own smile from forming. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The small town’s view didn't last long once Benrey hit the highway; nature soon taking over the immediate view. Evergreens dusted in snow zipped past the window with a small body of water passing by every once in a while. The landscape was mostly flat, but it provided a serene sense of repetition that allowed the flora to be gawked at properly. Contrasting the long stretch of grey road, pristine white lined the edges of the road and sky creating a beautiful scenery of a perfect early winter's afternoon. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Love the little town we live in. The name's fucking hilarious too." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Benrey mentioned with some eyes fixated on the road and other eyes looking down at Gordon. If you have em, might as well us em.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon watched the scenery with amazement, his eyes filled with wonders, and his tail was wagging like crazy. He admired the landscape and nature. He pointed out any animals they were lucky enough to see, it was mostly birds, but he did get really excited and nervous when he saw a moose. Luckily it was nowhere near the road, but still, it made Gordon's day.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His attention is pulled away from the window when Benrey spoke. His head turns and he looks up at Benrey. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"It does? I honestly didn't know it had a name, I just lived there." He shrugged.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Mood...." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Benrey let out a soft chuckle as well. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"But yeah, wanna know the name?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon paused before he shrugged again, "sure. I guess it would be a good idea to know the name of the place I've spent my entire life in."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Oh man. Oh fucking man.’</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"We live in uh..." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Benrey had to clear his throat for this. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"We live in Dildo."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon laughs, assuming Benrey was just pulling his leg. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Fuck dude, could you imagine! If I spent my whole life unknowingly living in a place called fucking dildo?!" He wheezed. "Very funny, now, what's the name actually?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The Griillii had a death grip on the steering wheel while his teeth dug into his bottom lip, tears of suppressed laughter prickling at his eyes. Don't fucking LOL on the road, man. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Pfffchtt- being, 'm being serious! We live in Dildo. Kinda... kinda why I chose to live here." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Of course Benrey had the sense of humor of a 6th grader.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon blinks. "No, no! There is no fucking way I've spent my entire life in Dildo! No!"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He reaches his hand up and lightly smacks Benrey's chin. "Please tell me your fucking joking. You have to be. What bean decided to name an entire community Dildo?!"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Ahahaha!" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Benrey released the laughter, the tiny smack and Gordon's disbelief making this so fucking hysterical. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Bro, I don't- pfft aha- i don't know what to tell you!! I mean we got fucking Nuggetville to the south and uhhh Bacon Gove to the east. Beans be hungry and horny i mcfuckin guess???" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The Griillii tried to explain with a straight face; keyword "tried". </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"What... what if we were gay. And we lived in a dildo... and we kissed. That would be fucking crazy right?... just kidding... unless?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Oh. My. God!" Gordon put his head in his hand and sighed, loudly. "You have to be fucking with me. This... oh my fucking god."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He listens to Benrey for a moment before sighing again. "It would be crazy. Because WHY would you name it Dildo?! Out of everything in the world, you picked Dildo?!? Why! I don't get it."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He rambled for a minute before letting his hand fall, "I will never understand beans."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"At least.... at least it isn't called 'fleshlight', ya-" A chortle from Benrey broke his statement.  "Ya know?" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A hand lightly hit at the steering wheel. Little did the two know that it was actually named after the phallic shape piece at the end of a boat. Dildo. Ghetsis have mercy.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon sighs loudly, again, his hand gripping his hair. "Shut up. Shush. I... I can't deal with this shit. I can't! Fuck."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"B... Bbb-.... Benis land." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Was the last quip given by the Griillii with the stupidest grin plastered on his face. This was the most fun he's ever had in a car.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon sighed loudly, leaning back in defeat. "Why the fuck would you say that?!"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He leans his head against Benrey's collar bone, leaning his head back to look up at them. He was glaring a little, it was only playful annoyance, his wagging tail gave that away, but still. "Just why?!"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Mmn. Why not?... We live in pee pee poo poo." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Benrey had to wipe away some tears at the corner of his eyes. Just in time to be able to shift lanes. Too fucking funny. He wanted to see how far he could devolve it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"WE DO NOT!" Gordon points an accusing finger at Benrey, "you fucking lair! I swear if there is some place called 'pee pee poo poo' or whatever the fuck I will lose. My. Shit"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Mmm. Fuck around and find out. You'd be surprised."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Without a doubt there was no such thing as a town called 'Pee Pee Poo Poo' - a gamer could dream couldn't he? There's bound to be a town like that someday... </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"... At least we're driving to a uhh, a more normally named town." Benrey reassured, calming down some.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I hate everything." The borrower huffs and shakes his head, "beans are crazy."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon then looks back up at Benrey, "and what's the name of the town we're going to? If you're lying about it being normal I'll... I'll... I'll do something, and it won't be nice." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nice save Gordon.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Woah a not nice Gordo? Fucking, I'm kinda intrigued now... buuut I guess I can indulge. We're going toooo Bay Roberts for this big supermarket store they have there." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Benrey explained, turning down the exit that led to the next stretch of road that would lead them to their destination.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Thank fuck." Gordon sighed with relief, beans were odd.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The borrower then grew quiet. He watched as the scenery outside shifted from the snow covered outdoors to the industrial realm of beans. His ears perked up a little as he watched the slow transition. More cars were on the road around the town, more structures could be seen up ahead, fewer wildlife was visible.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Huh..." he was curious about it. The way beans lived, spoiled with choices and safety, it always fascinated Gordon. It's why he had built himself a notebook, a notebook he could no longer use, but still.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The car pulled into the parking lot of a large store called Dominion, a local Newfoundland grocery chain that had the same appeal as a Kroger or a small Wal-Mart. It had just started to lightly snow outside when Benrey parked the vehicle.  He adjusted his collar and jacket some before peeking down at Gordon. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"You ready freddy?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"My name is Gordon." He huffs before nodding, "yeah, I'm ready."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He got comfy in the sweater, liking the warmth of said sweater and Benrey, especially in the cold.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The two got out of the car and Benrey realized he needed to do something his Griillii self has never done before; warm up instead of freeze in the cold. He focused on trying to keep his body radiating delicious heat on their way in. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The store wasn't very packed, thank Ghetsis, leaving the layout of the store much more obvious: each numbered aisle had their own list of item themes for specifics, while the produce, seafood, dairy, bakery, and other miscellaneous items were all off in their designated corners of the store. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A soft hum left Benrey while he stood there going through the mental list of what was needed: well, the only thing truly needed was milk - the rest was up for him and Gordon to decide on for filling the cupboards and fridge. They could get milk, but it would go bad. So, milk last. Fun now.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"See an area you wanna check out first?" Benrey mumbled to Gordon.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon leaned into the cozy warmth, smiling at the feeling. That felt so fucking nice.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He gets out of his comfortable daze when they enter the store, his ears perk up completely. He wanted to soak in all the new sights and sounds. There was so much... stuff! Gordon was once again left with the question of how do you decide on anything?! There's so much!!! It's almost overwhelming, all the new sights and smells, and just everything.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Despite his concerns about having to decide, something caught his eye that immediately helped him make up his mind., "yeah," he chuckles. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Obviously we need to go into the snack aisle." He pointed up to the aisle sign that specifically mentioned snack foods.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>This caused the Griillii to smirk when he gazed in the direction the hand pointed towards. Gordon was just too perfect... </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Oh fuck yeah, dude. Get some gamer fuel." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Benrey quipped, grabbing a nearby shopping cart. Careful strides were taken by him, only slightly nervous of potentially losing the borrower. God forbid what would happen to the store if Gordon went missing for real. Soon the aisle of junk food was laid out before them. All sorts of chips, trail mixes, nuts, and whatever else belonged in a sizable snack aisle littered the colorful shelves.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon's tail began to wag again, he happily looked around the aisle. So many snacks!!! Chips, chocolates, trail mix, candies, and more! It was a delightful sight to the borrower, so many choices!</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Woah... this is amazing! There's so much here!!!" His tail only wags more as he looks around.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The ecstatic little tail tickled Benrey some, causing a bit of chuckling to bubble out at both the borrower's awe and the tail pulling a silly. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Here, I'll stroll down the aisle for ya. Just tell me what you might like. Everything is free game, bro. Go hog wild." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Benrey pushed the cart slowly down the aisle to allow Gordon enough time to analyze each item carefully.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Wait really?" Gordon looks up at Benrey before smiling brightly. He happily begins to point out snacks he's had or always wanted to try. Doritos, the trail mix Benrey had given him, Kit Kats, Reeses, Lays, and more. He was very, very happy to be here, pointing out snacks, talking about what he knew about them or what he had tried.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He may need to be reminded to breathe as he was talking so fast.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Bro chill bro chiillll... take it slow, please?" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Benrey chortles some while reaching for the items Gordon had speedily requested, managing to grab most items super fast with no one peering down the aisle. Seeing Gordon like this was super cute, and so worth the trip.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon blinks before laughing at himself, running a hand through his hair. "R-right, fuck, sorry."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The borrower decides to take some deep breaths, to calm himself down a little. He got a little too excited there. He doesn't want to risk someone seeing him or making Benrey hate him because he's annoying.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Huh? Don't... no need to apologize. Just trying to keep up so I get everything you want." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Benrey hummed  while grabbing a bag of lays potato chips and placing it in the cart. He tilted his head down and planted a quick and uncoordinated smooch on the borrower's head. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"You're totally gucci right now. You have like, such amazing taste."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon's ears perk up and his face flushes. Oh, oh wow. He had not expected that.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He nods, brushing some hair out of his face, "o-okay. Uh, thanks. Glad you... Glad you think so." He was very flustered by the surprise kiss.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Benrey didn't respond for his own excitement pierced through for a moment.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Yoooo we should get some fuckin' sodaaa." The basket was grabbed and he pushed it in the direction of the soda isle. It was just as colorful as the last section of food, but instead of bags it was bottles and boxes and cans. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"You goootta try Mountain Dew bro."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Benrey stated. A case of the aforementioned soda was quickly retrieved and placed into the basket. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"See any that catch your eye? I'm sure you can't go wrong with any of em, though sparkling water's kinda jank. Unless you like that stuff then that's cool too."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I don't think I've tried most of this stuff," Gordon admits, "I figured it was too much of a risk and not enough reward. At least with the leftover cans. No way in hell I'd never move a full one."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He begins to quietly look over all the different styles of soda. He paused when one caught his eye, before chuckling. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Since it seems my main thing is the color orange, that would mean we need the orange Crush." Of course color wasn't the only reason he picked it out. Yes the bright orange color of the box got his attention, much like the bright green of mountain dew, but just the overall appearance caught his eye. The bold white text, with the green outline, the little soda splash around it. It piqued his interest.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Niiiiccee." Benrey approved at the stellar choice. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The case of orange soda was promptly added to the cart, and then a second one was added; if Tommy was gonna be here in a week, you gotta have enough orange soda for him. The Coolatta heir was like a coffee addict with the stuff - the same attitude as like "don't talk to me until ive had my Sunkist." Did that mean that different brands of orange soda were like different brands of coffee to him? Yeah most likely. Shit... When would be a good time to tell Gordon about the upcoming guests? </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Orange soda is sooo fucking good."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I'm excited to try it then!" Gordon turns his head and smiles up at Benrey.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When he looked away again he noticed just how much soda the other man had grabbed. He paused, before frowning a little. He knew Benrey drank a lot of soda, but still, that seemed a bit much for one bean and a borrower. Did he grab so much because he was always hungry? </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Hey dude, that's a lot of soda... do we really need all that?" His gaze remained on the case of mountain dew and two cases of orange crush.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Oh fuck. He needs to be told. It's kind of like, mega fucking important…’</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tensing from the situation he now found himself in, Benrey's hand came up and rubbed at the back of his neck. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Now uhm..." A lipsmack. "Don't... uh... freak out, please? I would- I would never let anything bad happen to you, but uhh..." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon turned his head when Benrey began to speak, listening quietly. He quickly notices how nervous Benrey looked, that wasn't good. What also wasn't good is Benrey saying he'd never let anything bad happen while looking nervous. It made Gordon's ears droop a little, he was now a little nervous.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Why was the Griillii so nervous about this? Oh yeah - Gordon could hate him for this. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I-I invited my best friend over and asked him to bring his b-boyfriends with him... one of them can like, make uhhh... make a new arm for you?" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He couldn't meet the other's gaze, looking to the ground with a heavy frown.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The borrower’s ears then pressed against his head completely at the news. Gordon wasn't proud of his reaction, his tail tucked between his legs as his form began shaking. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"W-what?!" His hand gripped the fabric of Benrey's shirt collar. "N-no! No, we... we can't have more beans over!" He was panicking, his breathing going quick at the mere idea of more humans.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There's that terrible awful awful smell again; it was even stronger from the close proximity. It didn't help that Benrey could feel Gordon's panic against his skin. Bits of blue calming sweet voice dribbled out of his mouth, wiping it and then blowing some bubbles of it at the borrower. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"N-no need to have a Panic! At The Costco," this was a Dominion store. "The-they're fucking nice people. Wouldn't hurt a fly, and- and you'd be able to get a new arm! A lil robo arm, bro." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Benrey softly rambled, feeling like complete and utter shit.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon tried to swat the calming blue orbs away, but despite this he still felt himself calm down. His breathing returned to normal, his shaking stopped, and his tail was no longer tucked between his legs, his ears didn't move though.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"The last time I interacted with a human resulted in me losing a limb! I-I have the right to be fucking worried!" He defended, still looking up at Benrey.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Sure, they're nice to you! Who knows how they'd act around a fucking borrower! They could step on me, throw me, eat me," his shaking had returned as he begins to imagine all the horrible things they'd do to him, "experiment on me, burn me, lock me in a box, tear me apart."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>All of his fears translated easily into the Griillii's mind, causing the clawed hands that gripped the basket to shift into talons, effectively slicing through the metal and plastic. If those things ever happened to Gordon, the assailant would beg for the same to happen to them as opposed to the hell the Griillii would put them through. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I-... I know you do..."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Calm your breathing Benrey. Be his rock. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"That... that would never happen. I-I won't allow it." Benrey swallowed, "they were nice to me, big ole scary me. Tommy, Darnold, they... they made me good. Not, not a big bad." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He admitted solemnly. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Absolutely 100% certain that they would be just as kind to a tiny innocent man. Tr-..." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That word. He'd sang it plenty when they'd dance, but that didn't mean he had the right to throw it around outside of lyrics. But it's what he wants, right?... For... for him to be... </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Trust me."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon tightened his grip on the fabric of Benrey's shirt, a few loose tears rolled down his cheeks. He didn't want to deal with more humans, he didn't want anything to do with the supposed friends Benrey had invited over, he didn't want this. He hadn't really been listing, not completely. His mind still raced through all the horrid things they could do to him. One bean was bad enough, but multiple?!</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Beaten, bleeding, dying. Those were the thoughts consuming Gordon's mind.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Then Benrey said something that snapped him out of it. It was a simple phrase really, 'trust me'. Sometimes it was just a cute thing to say, like when they danced together, other times it was like this. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Did he trust Benrey?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He's said both yes and no many times. He let Benrey hold him, carry him, take care of him, but he also still felt a home grown sense of fear each time. Even if Benrey didn't mean to, he could easily kill Gordon, he knew that. Yet... here he was, resting in the front of his shirt, tightly gripping Benrey's sweater.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"... c... can you promise that? That... they won't h-hurt me?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Quick soft nods preludes the answer. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I promise, Gordon."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>No bros, no quips, no slang; just genuineness. Afterall, this was the man's life they were swearing on here. The man Benrey had fallen for. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I swear on it... I swear to you, I swear to fucking Ghetsis himself."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Big swears called for big promises, promises that the Griillii would implode for to keep. The heavy words persuaded his eyes to betray him, allowing for an unprecedented warm and heavy droplet to cascade down his cheek and splash next to the borrower. A hand quickly wiped his face clean of the evidence.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon fell silent as he listened to Benrey. His eyes were focused on the Griillii, he wanted to see if Benrey was certain, even the slightest hint of hesitation would send him into another panic.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His hardened expression melted away when he saw the tear. He got a little wet from the splash, but that didn't matter.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Okay," he took a deep breath in, then out, "I trust you."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The borrower then leaned up and pressed a shaky kiss to Benrey's chin.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He was still terrified. His brain overflowing with all the horrendous ways he could die thanks to a group of beans. Despite this however, Gordon had Benrey. Benrey would help keep him safe. Gordon used to not be one for relying on others, it's kind of what helped him decide to leave the others behind, but when you have to rely on someone else you learn to appreciate them.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Trust.... Benrey was... trusted. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The Griillii desperately wishes they weren't on a shopping trip currently, so that he could easily hold Gordon in his hands and say these things to his face rather than the other being under his face... Benrey hummed some more blue that shifted to pink and then back to blue and then to an electric blue. What a fucking mess.... They should probably get some real food items for proper meals, snacks and soda could only be good for so long...</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bikriin help.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon looks up, admiring the colorful orbs. He leans into Benrey so he can better watch the orbs floating around them. He always did find the sweet voice beautiful, even without the calming blue it seemed to sooth Gordon. Fun colors and a nice song can do that to a person.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He didn't mind that they weren't moving or that Benrey didn't respond. He took a moment to just listen to the sweet voice and calm himself down. He began to take deep breaths. In, then out, in, then out.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A few tiny eyes opened under Benrey's chin, observing Gordon to see if he was all right. Oh, just relaxing. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"'M sorry if I uh... killed the vibes... did... did you still wanna see what else they may have in this place?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Benrey offered, wanting to change the topic so they could both move on and at least maybe address the situation later in the privacy of their home.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon nods, opening his eyes again and looking around the store. Despite the terror that had gripped him earlier, a store was a new opportunity, a chance to lean, he didn't want to waste that.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"It's fine... a-and yeah, I do."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And they were off. Having explored the snack aisle and the soda aisle, Benrey took Gordon around to every section, even if they didn't need anything from there, he still wanted to show the borrower all he could. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>If there were food samples, Benrey would take one and share it with Gordon. If there was a cool looking food, Benrey shared it with Gordon. If there was anything cool or eye catching, Benrey shared it. He would give the whole world to the borrower. Needless to say, after hours of gawking around and filling their basket with all sorts of foods, the two now found themselves in the little miscellaneous toy aisle that most grocery stores held. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Benrey blinked, looking over the dolls they had hanging on display. He looked until something caught his eye: doll clothes. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Psst. Gordo... see the uhh, doll clothes? Think they'd fit?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon was more than happy to look around with Benrey, he also pointed out something he recognized or thought looked cool. His tail eventually returned to wagging and his ears perked up, showing he was listening and attentive. He loved this. So many new things! So many choices! His favorite part was definitely the food samples, that was just fun.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He was also very thankful that the store was nearly empty. But anytime they saw a human Gordon would duck a little into the sweater and shake a bit. He was not in a good place when it came to humans, not right now.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He didn't notice the doll clothes at first, but perked up when Benrey pointed them out. Curiously he looked over the clothes, his tail wagging slowed as he inspected the items. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Huh. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I... I think so yeah. Maybe not perfectly, but they could work."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Benrey curiously reached for the plastic enclosed articles of clothing, pulling it off the rack. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Inside were 5 different long sleeve long pants outfits for male dolls: a white with red stripes long sleeve shirt with white pants; a light green sweater with a couple of accenting black and white lines paired with grey pants; a salmon low collar sweater with the number 7 on it with polaroid pictures behind the number that contrasted with the sleek scale-pattern grey pants; a purple sweater with 'NEW YORK FASHION DISTRICT' embroidered on it with a pair of long khakis; and finally a green long-sleeve shirt with a white star that had the words "i love you" arching over the top. It too had white pants. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The Griillii glanced around, not seeing nor sensing anyone nearby. Perfect. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He then did something scandalous. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A clawed finger turned into a sharp talon that easily pierced the hard plastic, easily slicing open the package to retrieve the clothes inside. Each outfit was pulled out and laid across Benrey's hands, a third arm taking the package and placing it in the baby seat of the basket. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Which one you wanna try-on first?" Benrey quizzed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon watched quietly as Benrey snuck the items out of box, he curiously looked them over. They weren't his usual style, but then again, the borrower didn't have much of a style other than comfortable and easy to move in.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Fuck it. Hand me the 'I love you' shirt." He chuckles at the mere thought of wearing it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The green shirt was promptly delivered by two large fingers, held out close for Gordon to easily retrieve. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Ooo? Can't wait to check it." Benrey amusingly hummed, turning his gaze to the rest of the doll stuff available. Wonder what else he could spoil Gordon with. Didn't really see much at this store. They would probably have to go to the mall here to check things out, that or simply order online with Tommy's help.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon took the shirt and quietly began to feel the texture of the fabric. His ears perked up a little as he did so. It was obviously doll clothes, so it wasn't made to be the most comfortable, still, it wasn't half bad. Not as good as his own orange tunic, but not bad.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His gaze shifts away from the first and up at the Griillii, "um... do you want me to try it on now? Or when we're at home?" He didn't want to remove his shirt and have a human walk down the aisle or something dumb.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Benrey hummed in thought. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"You could always pull it over your tunic or whatever, see if it fits even with it on.... or," the outfits held in his hand were stashed into his pants pocket and the plastic box was grabbed and pressed into his side, phasing through and disappearing.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"We try 'em on at home, free of charge." A smug expression formed. Lifting the shop as they say.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon didn't know what shoplifting was, in all honesty. He'd heard beans talk about it but he didn't know what exactly it was. So the smug expression confused him a little. "Uh, I guess we try them on at home then?" He shrugged.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Man the innocence was great. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Poggers." Benrey softly cheered, pushing the cart in the direction towards the dairy aisle. They just needed to grab the milk, check out, and then head home. Easy. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Milky tiiime. Time for milkies." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The Griillii really needs to learn how to shut the fuck up. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>-----</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>For most of the shopping trip, Gordon stayed comfortable in Benrey's shirt. He still pointed things out and rambled happily about various items he saw in the store, but he was beginning to miss home.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The car ride was the same as before, he pointed out any fun wildlife he saw, and was silently thankful that the animals were outside the car while he was inside said car. He knew an up close encounter with most of those creatures would lead to a lot of pain and possibly even death. No thanks.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He smiled when the apartment building came into view, sure the entire apartment complex wasn't home, but it was a bit of a comforting sight.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Same goes for the lobby, hallways, and most of the walk to Benrey's apartment, it was comforting.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It wasn't as comforting when they actually entered. He shifted a little in Benrey's collar. Plenty of beans could fit in their small one bedroom apartment, Benrey's friends could fit. His home could be overrun by humans.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He tensed at the thought, no, no don't think about it. Not now.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"U-uh, now that we're home, should we want to make cookies first? Or should I try on those outfits?" So long as we don't talk about them.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Benrey opened the door and entered their apartment, holding multiple bags of groceries with multiple arms. He let Gordon hang out in his collar while he put things away, making idle chit chat with him as he worked. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"You should totally try out the gucci. I can, like, take you to the bedroom, n give ya the clothes. You try em on, see what does and doesn't fit, and Elton can bring ya back." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He offered, holding a free hand up for the borrower to climb on.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon crawled out of the sweater and onto the hand, before nodding. "That sounds good. Do you want to see each outfit? Do uh... what’s the word... a fashion show or something?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Runway Dildo? Fuck yeah, bro. Lemme slam the milk in the fridge and then we can get the hottest new tv special going." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Benrey jested while placing most of the unorganized groceries on the ground, keeping only the milk and other perishables in hand. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Please don't call it runway Dildo." Gordon sighed loudly, this was a mistake.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The two soon navigated to the bedroom. Elton had set up a large hardcover book stage on the bed, and constructed a shoddy curtain set-up made from book holders and pillow cases. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The borrower sat down in the clawed hand as Benrey walked to the bedroom, his hand held onto Benrey's thumb, just in case. He didn't want to risk falling.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Woah what the fuck. Didn't know he could do that." Benrey commented on his other self's engineering skills while setting Gordon down on the "stage". He pulled out the stolen clothes and handed them to the skeleton and borrower.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordons ears perk up at the sight of Elton's handy work. Once he was put down he began to look over the stage, "woah... I... I was just kidding with the whole fashion show thing. But fuck, this is kind of cool! Well done Elton!" He turns to the skeleton and smiles.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Taking the clothes from Benrey he begins to feel their texture, seems they were mostly made from the same if not similar materials.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Elton chirps happily with a few orbs of yellow. He takes the clothes and sprints off behind the curtain to help Gordon get things set up. How exciting!</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Backstage, Elton inspected the clothes similar to how Gordon did, and didn’t find them appealing in texture for the other. Nothing a little sweet voice won't fix. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>From the jaw, sweet voice ranging in colors from cream to tan to black like an eclair was sung over the articles of clothing. The material changed and shifted, turning into a softer and more comfortable fabric. That's the power of fabric softener sweet voice. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Elton knew Gordon was watching, and held out a bony hand for the other clothes the borrower held.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon followed Elton backstage. His chest was filled with a nervous excitement, he didn't expect Benrey to respond so positively to his fashion show idea. He assumed Benrey would take it as a joke and say he wasn't interested, or something.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Instead he now nervously rubbed the shirt texture, why was he having stage fright? He was showing off for one person?? He shouldn't be this nervous. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He looked over when he heard the sweet voice, ears perking up at the sound. He watched Elton do... something to the clothes. He honestly wasn't sure. But he already said he trusted them, so he hands Elton the clothes in his arms, tail flicking curiously behind him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Elton threw the sweet voiced clothes back at Gordon in exchange for the newer ones. Surprisingly the treated clothes were already dry and ready for Gordon to try on. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was a quick process for the skeleton, and soon the entire ensemble was set and ready to go. He left the clothes for the borrower to mess with while he ran off to get more things set up.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon curiously felt over the new texture, that was amazing! He adored the softness of the new items. "Thanks Elton!" He says as the skeleton leaves.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Once alone in the room he got the first outfit on. Specifically he got on the 'I love you' long sleeved shirt, and the first of two pairs of white pants. He left his orange tunic and black pants folded neatly next to the other outfits.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The outfit didn't look bad on Gordon, it was actually pretty nice. Comfortable too.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was then that funky upbeat music started to play from the other side of the stage; courtesy of Elton stealing Benrey's phone and loading up a playlist he found online for this kind of stuff. That wasn't the only magical thing that seemed to be going on, the skeleton was wearing suspenders with a bow and a top hat!! What the fuck!! </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He did look pretty dapper doe. Elton gave Gordon a thumbs up and went past the curtains and onto the stage. Singing sweet voice to the Griillii, the skeleton announced the fit Gordon was rocking, the season, and other silly fashionista stuff. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Loud clapping was heard soon after, it sounded like a whole audience, yet it was just Benrey fucking around with a bunch of arms.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon nearly wheezed with laughter when he heard the music, oh my god, he was actually doing this. He only wheezed harder at the sight of Elton, honestly the skeleton looked better dressed then he did! Maybe Elton should be doing the runway walk not him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His ears perk up at the sound of the clapping, he so hoped that when he went out there it was just Benrey. Even if Benrey just made more skeletons to fill seats he may be overwhelmed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He took a deep breath in, then out. He figured either the curtain would open or Elton would give him some kind of signal as to when he should walk out. They really didn't plan this.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Oh well.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon was more focused on calming himself and filling his confidence with false reassurance.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Elton's head peeked through and then returned back. The pillowcase curtain began to rise, showing Gordon off to the audience consisting of just Benrey at the foot of the bed, sitting on his knees on the floor. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Yoooo!! Fucking work it!" Benrey cheered upon spotting Gordon, giving a catcalling whistle and more applauds.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon laughs, and Gordon laughs hard, yeah he did not expect this. He blushes at the sound of the whistle, oh wow, ok. Well, it seems like they wanted a show. Gordon did not want to disappoint.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The borrower grabbed the string that kept his hair in its ponytail, tossing his hair back as he freed it from the string. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>‘God this was so dumb.’</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>In as dramatic a fashion as he could he put one hand on his hip and began to saunter down the stage. He stopped at the front and blew a kiss to Benrey. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>‘This was so very dumb.’</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Matching the extra energy, Benrey mimed catching the kiss like a giddy high school cheerleader. He had the stupidest grin on his face, enjoying this immensely. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Dear Bikriin, he was so handsome with his hair down like that - untamed, wild, majestic.’ </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Maybe he's born with it... maybe it's Maybelline?’</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon laughs as he watches Benrey catch the kiss. He quickly turned heel and began the fashionable walk away. This was so, very, dumb.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Still, he was having fun. He actually completely forgot about the looming threat of more humans possibly coming over. Instead he was focused on deciding what outfit he should wear next.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The curtain closed and applause with whoops and cheers was heard. Elton ran over to help Gordon switch out of the clothes and picked an outfit for him; the white with red stripes shirt. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Elton gave Gordon a thumbs and went back out to announce yet again while he got ready.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon chuckles and takes the clothes, giving him a thumbs up in turn.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He quickly got changed into the next outfit, yeah, these where really fucking comfy thanks to whatever Elton did to them. He had to make sure to thank the skeleton again. He paused before getting an idea, the last step of his get ready process was to put his hair into a braid. It was a little messy, because he had to make it quickly, but he figured it would be a cute little addition to their fashion show.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>With that done he was ready for round two.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The curtain opened, and the air had balls of sweet voice suspended like lights that matched the colors of the latest outfit. They flashed and changed colors to the beat of the music.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon smiles brightly at the scene, god he must look so stupid right now. He begins to do his best model walk, once at the end of the stage he did a small spin before taking on a model pose. One hand on his hip, one at his side, and an over the shoulder look. He winks at Benrey before tossing the braid and beginning to model walk back.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Lookin sexy, yooo oh my god!!" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Benrey called out and then cackled from the hilarity of this situation. Both were getting giddy and silly over some clothes he shoplifted from a grocery store. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They continued this for another 10 minutes or however long it took Gordon to cycle through the clothes, walk on stage, be flirty with Benrey, and then have the Griillii throw flirts and compliments. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>On the last outfit when Gordon was walking away, Benrey called out, "Ayy baby, come back my way. Dayumm."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He then proceeded to do that cringe ass face that guys do where they bite and suck on their bottom lip, furrow their brows, and rest their chin in a finger gun. You know the one.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon couldn't not wheeze at the sight, he nearly doubled over with laughter. This was so fucking dumb! So dumb! Once he was backstage for the final time he changed back into his orange tunic, all the other outfits were nicely folded and put to the side.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Well that was fun. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>With the fashion show now over he gathered up the clothes, he figured he should bring them to Elton. Elton probably had some place he wanted to put them, and he wanted to thank him again. So he walks over to the skeleton and smiles. "Hey dude. Thanks for your help with all of this, and nice top hat by the way."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The compliment seemed to make Elton beam intense joy, you could see it rattling his bones. He tips the hat towards Gordon, "m'gordon," and takes the extra clothes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Benrey had retrieved his phone and started browsing through things as he waited for Gordon to return. Should probably get take-out for lunch; the Griillii was feeling peckish and figured the other was too.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon chuckles when Elton did so, smiling brightly at the other. "Well, I should go see Benrey. Thanks again dude."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He waved goodbye before walking away, moving over to Benrey with a small. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Hey dude."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The phone was immediately put down for Benrey's attention to fall on Gordon. He returned the wave with a smirk. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"'Suuup. Feeling hungry yet? Could order us some take out for lunch." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He offered, lowering the phone down for the borrower to take a gander at. On the screen was an application used for ordering food for delivery from local restaurants. Each restaurant had its name, theme, and a mini preview image of the food they may serve.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"That sounds amazing actually. Modeling is hard." Gordon chuckles. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He then walks over to the phone and begins to scroll through the different restaurants. "Is there anything specific you're hungry for?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Other than your love and affection? Not a fucking clue." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Smooth Benrey, smooth. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I'll have whatever you're having." He chuckled, watching Gordon scroll with fascination.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The borrower's ears perk up and his face fill with blush. Oh damn, that was kind of smooth.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>After a moment's pause, he needed to let his brain restart, he returned to scrolling through the phone. He eventually found something that caught his eyes, a nearby burger place. He curiously clicked on it, eyes lighting up a little when he saw all the different burgers they had. "Ooooh"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Fuck yeah, bbbborgers." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Benrey buzzed in approval to the choice. He couldn't wait to see what Gordon would choose - that place always had good shit when he'd order from them.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon laughs and nods, soon deciding on one. It was just an average burger, lettuce, pickle, tomato, ketchup, mustard, all the fun stuff. He clicked on it before smiling up at Benrey.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I suppose it goes without saying that I can't eat this all on my own?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I mean... technically you could, if you were uhhh... brave enough and if food didn't spoil ever." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Facetious joking aside, Benrey would be honored to help Gordon eat the burger.  His clawed finger went to the checkout section and paid it in full, giving a generous tip to the poor sap that had to type "Dildo" into the GPS. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"There we gooo. It should be here in abooouuut 30 minutes. Gives me enough time to put up groceries and just relax with ya."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon nods, "sounds good dude." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And maybe if they don't talk about the looming threat of other people Gordon can pretend that conversation never happened! Maybe they won't even show up!</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>"Panic at the Costco." -Icy</p>
<p>"Sir this is a Starbucks." -Epic</p>
<p>Apologies to you few oatmeal raisin lovers. Doubly sorry if you like oatmeal raisin cookies AND keep bread in the fridge. Smh. &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Lights the Traveler in the Dark</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>"So like," The voice was muffled from taking a bite out of a burger. "Cereal mmright?" Some chewing. "Is it a soup?"</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Behold. Another chapter of nonsense featuring these fools. Also there is a small talk about Griillii mating, we don't plan on nsfw content or chapters, it was more just for context and further information on the species.</p><p>Sweetvoice Translations:<br/>Pink - Love<br/>Brown like a gingersnap - this shit slaps</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>"So like," The voice was muffled from taking a bite out of a burger. "Cereal mmright?" Some chewing. "Is it a soup?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Benrey quizzed Gordon while having lunch with the borrower. The food delivery service came right on time with the simple burger Gordon had ordered Benrey helped by slicing a small sliver of the burger off to be borrower sized and placed it on a plate with a potato chip from the snacks they bought. Along with the food, a bottle cap filled with mountain dew sat on the dish that was laid on the coffee table. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The television played miscellaneous documentaries and shows they'd been watching while waiting for the food, now neglected for the sake of listening to the conversation the Griillii was starting.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon had been peacefully enjoying his food. He'd been curious about the documentaries playing on the tv, but he wasn't overly invested in watching them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He flinched before turning to look up at Benrey. The question sounded like nails against a chalkboard. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"W-what?! Dude! Of course not! Why would you fucking say that??"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Benrey swallowed, doing very well at keeping his face deadpan and focused. This was a very serious topic to debate afterall. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I dunno... like... chunks of food in a liquid... gotta be soup. Just, cold soup. Ya know?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No." Gordon sighs loudly, pinching the bridge of his nose, "cereal is a breakfast food, soup is like a fucking lunch and dinner shit. They're not the same."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I see people having cereal at any time of the day, to be honest. Ham is served in the morning, even steak is served at breakfast sometimes. Aren't they dinner foods too?~"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah, but there is no such thing as a breakfast soup! It's not real!" Gordon's tail gives an annoyed flick as he crosses his arms. "And just because they are doesn't mean they should."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I mean, by all definitions, you could say that cereal IS the breakfast soup."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Benrey smirked. Oh golly he's done it now, seeing that little tail flick meant trouble - trouble he so badly wanted to be in. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Milk is just broth; can be changed - like switching chicken broth for beef broth, for cereal you can switch cows milk for almond milk."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"MILK IS NOT BROTH! I WOULDN'T POUR CHICKEN BROTH INSTEAD OF MILK IN MY CEREAL!" Gordon threw up his arms and glared at the other. "Yes there are different milks and different types of broth. That does not mean they are interchangeable!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Benrey's face broke, boisterously cackling at the glares and yells, feeding off the chaos he was causing between them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Ahahahaaaa... you can-- you can put chicken broth in cereal if you're not a fucking coward." :)</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Just because you can doesn't mean you fucking should!" The mere thought of chicken broth and froot loops left a bad taste in Gordon's mouth. Ew. Ew ew ew. "You wouldn't drink a cup of broth, you just wouldn't!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Benrey smacked his lips like a know-it-all. He knew he was wrong, he just wanted to see how wrong he could get. Gordo wasn't making a very good case for himself either. Kinda cringe. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Drinking soup broth is how most soups are consumed, actually. Like those Campbell's to-go soup cups?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You wouldn't take a container of pure broth, pour it in a glass, and drink it! Fucking no!" Gordon glares more. "Cereal is not soup! Cereal without milk is still cereal, if I had things that commonly go in soup, like carrots, or potatoes, or rice, or whatever! Without broth they are not soup! Cereal is cereal even without milk!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah I would! I'd take shot-glasses of broth!... Oh shit, I swore I picked some up for making soup later. So fat fucking bet, Freeman. I'll do it right now," The Griillii challenged, being egged on. "Rice and corn can go into soup, cereal is made from rice and corn, babe. It's not hard. And milk is often cooked then cooled rapidly in a process, called 'pasteurization' so you could say the milk 'broth' has been boiled." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Benrey stated while reading all this fucking information from his phone. He wasn't smart enough to think of shit on his own, that just meant Gordon was super intelligent and smart for being able to argue this far along.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"IT'S. NOT. SOUP!" Gordon gripped his hair. "You can make loads of things with the same ingredients! It doesn't make them the same!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He sighed loudly, there really was no winning this argument, but Gordon was stubborn. Stubborn to the point of pulling out his own hair and greying early because he can't just walk away. "It's just not! Any reasonable being would tell you it's not! And please don't drink fucking broth just to prove a point. Just because you can doesn't mean you should!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Benrey tsk'd and shook his head, shoving the rest of the burger into his mouth. He hummed in thought while chewing before swallowing to speak. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Aww... Damn. That's uhh, that's a real bummer... especially since I'm just fucking with you."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon blinks twice, taking a moment to process the new information. His hand let go of his hair and he pinched the bridge of his nose. He just spent how knows how long arguing with a creature that could crush him just to be told they were fucking with him. Mother fucker.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He took a deep breath in, then out, "your fucking with me?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Benrey blinked stupidly out of a staring contest with nothing, eyes fixating on the borrower. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Huh? Whuh? Yo, we're fucking? Like right now?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Griillii became the epitome of the flushed face emoji. I mean, this was so very sudden, and Benrey had burger breath... maybe Gordon was freaky like dat doe. Ahaha just kidding.... unless?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon's face went red as his ears shot right up. That was not the response he expected, like at all. He choked a little on his own spit because he was so fucking shocked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"W-what?! No! I don't--- we've been together a few days?? Not to mention you'd probably fucking crush me!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Benrey snorted and wheezed. Too priceless!! Too good!! A real knee slapper. A tear jerker. Comedy gold!! </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Fucking gOTTEM. AHAHA." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He threw himself back into the couch, a hand coming up to wipe at his tears that flowed freely in hysterics.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon crossed his arms and huffed. Stupid alien, stupid feelings, stupid blush. His face was still red but he decided he wouldn't look at Benrey. He was not as above petty behavior as he likes to pretend he is.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He did flinch a little at the sudden loud volume, ears pressing against his head. Not out of fear, just in the hopes to lessen the volume of the hysterical laughter.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As soon as the laughter started, it died down quickly.  Benrey phewed the rest of it out and ended it with a couple of giddy chuckles. The chuckles faded into a pensive silence when Benrey finally noticed the peeved looking borrower. He nervously coughed before asking, "Hey, you feelin' aight? Haven't uhh... Haven't finished your borger..."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon blinked and chuckled, his ears returning to their usual position when the loud noise stopped. "Yeah sorry, got distracted."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He grabbed the last little bit of his burger and returned to eating. Note to self, Benrey could be really, really, really loud.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Mmm... whatcha thinkin' of?" Benrey curiously quipped, head resting on his hand and bent arm on his leg.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Just about how dumb someone would have to be to think cereal is a soup." Gordon chuckles before taking a bite of his burger.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Ohhh. Sounds kinda cringe, not gonna lie. Can't believe there are dumbasses out there that are like that. Fucking monsters, amiright?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Griillii jested, acting as if he wasn't just the one advocating for Cereal = Soup rights. Benrey couldn't stop the grin on his face while lifting the can of mountain dew up to sip at it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The borrower rolled his eyes and sighed. Benrey would be the death of him, not because he kills him in some horrifying fashion, it's because he'll say something so dumb Gordon gets a headache and fucking dies.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon then finished his burger, damn that was good. "Anyway, thanks for the food dude. Do we want to make those cookies now?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>An obnoxious slurping sound was heard till Benrey replied. Oh yeah! The whoopie pies!! </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yoo, fuck yeah. I've never really made these kind before, so it's gonna be real interesting to see what comes out." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He noted while pulling up the recipe on his phone and scrolling through it some.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Neither have I. I'm very new to this whole baking thing." The borrower nervously chuckles before he walks closer to Benrey. He knew the other would have to pick him up so they could bake like they did last time. Gordon would read off the instructions as Benrey followed along.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The hand that was always there laid itself out for the borrower. It was starting to feel like a natural thing to the Griillii - eat, exist, think, and care for Gordon. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"One of these days I'm gonna shrink down and we'll bake, like, you-sized things together." Benrey noted it as more of a promise than a mere dream.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon stepped onto the hand and sat down, holding onto a clawed finger as a safety measure. This thing didn't come with seatbelts.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He looked up at Benrey when he spoke, ears perking up a little. "That sounds fun!" He grins before pausing, "I don't know if we could work the oven or microwave at my size though. Let alone get all the ingredients out."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The two made their way into the kitchen as Benrey elaborated. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well, I could always get the needed stuffs out for us, measure bits out too, and I could work the microwave? Fuck, i could even stand in it to make sure stuff won't burn. Just. Don't follow me in. If I do... that..."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The laughable radiation microwaves would give off felt amazing to Griilliis. They literally ate stars and all kinds of radioactive matter in space; some little itty-bitty radio waves were child's play.  Despite this, Benrey knew very well that such conditions would kill Gordon - he wasn't completely stupid.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The borrower frowns a little, he didn't like the idea of Benrey going into a microwave. While he hadn't seen it, he knew those things could kill a borrower. Seems Benrey could survive in a lot of places that would just kill Gordon, a microwave, an oven, the fridge, who knows what else. It was both fascinating and terrifying.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I don't want you to get hurt, that sounds dangerous. Besides, I like cooking this way, even with the height difference. You... you don't have to make yourself small just to hang out with me. I like you for you... no matter what size you are."</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Fuck, now that he said it that sounded really cheesy.’</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Good thing cheese tasted delicious. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Benrey stopped in his tracks, having made it to the stove area anyways, and lifted the borrower up to his blushing and wide eyed face. He had proved to the borrower that he was capable of being safe, but yet... that still didn't stop him from caring about this monster's well-being... Gordon also likes him at this size too? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ever since [REDACTED], Benrey sort of figured that Gordon had been wanting him to return to his borrower self, so he could be less intimidating, more relatable, more... loveable. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He certainly didn't expect this, being silent about the humongous elephant in the room for quite a while. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Moments like this had Benrey wishing he was a borrower again so he didn't potentially scare Gordon everytime they held gazes like this, so talks could be easier. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"A-are you... uhh, you sure...?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>What a stupid question Benrey, he thought to himself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Without hesitation the borrower nods. He knew he cared for Benrey; loved Benrey. He knew that he was still slightly scared of them or what they could do to him, of what anything larger than him could do. That fear had been given to him since he was a kid, it's what he was taught, it's what he used to survive. But that fear didn't stop or change his love for Benrey.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Of course I'm sure." He let go of the clawed finger and stood up, walking closer to Benrey’s face. "I'm sure." He repeats, "you have helped me in so many ways, you've used your larger size to help me when I couldn't help myself. So yes, I am absolutely sure."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He leaned in and presses a soft kiss to the Griillii's nose.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pink bubbles started to float up past the borrower after the kiss, deep blue staining across Benrey's cheeks. His mouth was slightly agape, pleasantly surprised at this revelation between them and just... always in awe when Gordon kisses him. Fuck, he's hella gay - but that's like saying the sky is blue. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"P-poggers..." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He breathed out the only response that could be processed in his mind.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon pulls away to admire the sweet voice, he quietly admired the color, reaching out to poke one.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He paused though when Benrey spoke, before laughing. The response was surprising, but Gordon also found it really fucking funny. This sweet moment between the two of them, of admitting they like the other no matter what, and all Benrey could say was poggers. Maybe Gordon laughed harder than he should, but then again, he was startled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Pretty poggers." He wheezed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was music to Benrey's ears regardless, the Griillii finding the laughter infectious and chuckling along with the tiny man. For some reason it was even funnier hearing Gordon say it too. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I- uhh- ahaha- i really love your laugh, bro--" Benrey's words were cut off by more chortles.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The borrower paused, blushing when Benrey complimented his laugh. The fact that the compliment was unexpected only made him blush more. "Oh! Uh, thank you." He tucks some hair out of his face, his quick braid beginning to fall apart.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Griillii's laughter sounded like music to Gordon's ears. It was amazing, sometimes loud, but still amazing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I like your laugh too." Fuck, he hoped that wasn't as awkward as he thought it was.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Bro, that's- that's gay~" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Benrey's chest warmed at the reciprocation. The hand pulled the smaller man away and placed him on the counter next to the stove, the giant's smartphone was then given to him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"So gay, in fact, that I might just ask you out on a bake-date." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'd love to go on a bake date with you." Gordon chuckles as he gets onto the counter and begins to scroll through the phone. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Putting the playfulness aside, Benrey got to work in retrieving the ingredients he'd skimmed over on the recipe list. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"So flour, cocoa powder, baking soda, sodium chloride, brown sugar.... uhh, can you read out the rest for me, man?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was proud that he could remember that much off the top of his head, almost assuming things that would be used.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You also need unsalted butter, eggs, buttermilk, vanilla extract, powdered sugar, and some marshmallow fluff." Gordon slowly scrolls threw the list as he reads the ingredients out loud, "and those are for both the icing and the cookies themselves."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He sits down next to the phone and watches as Benrey grabs everything they need.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Soon everything was collected and laid out for them to begin. Utilizing his shifting abilities, Benrey measured and separated ingredients out as Gordon read them out to him; each ingredient being dispensed into new clean bowls they'd bought at the store. Things would go much more smoothly now with efficient preparations. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Fucking sweeeet. Lookit that bro. Now we can just dump the stuff in the bowl as we mix it n shit." Benrey proudly cheered. He turned to the borrower seeking guidance, "so what's the first step?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well to start with the cakes, or cookies, or whatever, we need to preheat the oven to 350°F, 180°C" Gordon reads, scrolling to the instructions page.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"The next step is to sift together the... flour, cocoa powder, baking soda, and salt!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With a few clicks and a timer set, the oven was prepared to start warming up. This left Benrey with grabbing the large mixing bowl and shifting his hand into a sifter, pouring the ingredients Gordon listed through thin grates. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Pog."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon smiles as he watches, ears perking up a little as he did so. He was still interested in the semi new activity, and he liked watching the process of how these things are made. Once again, if he could take notes, he would.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Ok so it says to then put that aside and line two baking pans with parchment paper."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"TWO baking pans, huh?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>That stumped Benrey for a moment. Did they have a second pan? Squatting down, he opened one of the cabinets under the counter to start shifting through whatever he had haphazardly stored under there. It took a bit, but he found a second baking sheet for the cookies! </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yooo I foun- dOH." The griillii's victory cheer got cut short by his head clumsily banging on the edge of the opening. Sounded like it fucking hurt.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Ow ow owww." Benrey cried out in pain the same way a person may say "ow" when getting injured in a video game. "I found a pan though!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon rushed forwards, getting as close to the edge of the counter as he could to look at Benrey. His expression was filled with worry. "Dude! A-are you okay? Fuck that sounded painful!" He rambled, worried for the alien that had never felt pain.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A mischievous idea sparked in Benrey's mind. He concealed the expression with an absolutely baby facade as he glanced up at Gordon. Dramatic and watery crocodile-tear eyes met the concerned brown and green ones. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Y-yeah man. Real fucking cringe." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He mumbled while raising himself up straight on his knees. His damnable height allowed his chin to easily rest on the countertop next to the borrower. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Griillii gave a small pout before requesting Gordon with a task of </span>
  <em>
    <span>utmost </span>
  </em>
  <span>importance... </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"K-kiss it better?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon immediately noticed the pathetic facade the other put up. Those sad eyes with those big old crocodile tears. Oh how sad!!!</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He rolled his eyes at the newly given quest, a loud sigh escaping the tiny borrower. "Yeah, sure. Lean your head down so I can kiss the bruise. Ya big baby." He chuckles and walks closer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A hand quickly pushed back some of the blackish-blue hair as if getting it ready for a date. Once ready, Benrey's head tilted towards the smaller man, eyes looking up expectantly in anticipation for the smooch.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The borrower chuckles and finishes walking over. He leans in and gives the top of Benrey's head a gentle kiss. His tail wagged behind him as he pulled away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"There. Is it all better?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Wow doc, you're like a fuckin' miracle worker. I feel a million times better. What is your secret? Gotta be usin' cheat codes, yo." Benrey thanked in his own weird way as he stood up from the floor to get the pans set up with parchment paper.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon laughs at the odd compliment, but was glad to have helped anyways. "Anytime dude." He chuckles and walks back over to the phone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Next it says to get an electric mixer fitted with the paddle attachment. It wants you to cream butter and sugar together until light and fluffy, they’re saying it should take roughly three minutes. Add the egg and vanilla, mix until well combined, then add butter milk."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Benrey held up one of his versatile hands to stare at it. Electric mixer function with paddle? He was familiar with how it may function, but he'd need an example to mimic the tool and the action. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Can you, uh, search up what a mixing paddle looks like and the motion it makes?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah, I think so." The borrower shifted closer to the phone so he could find what Benrey wanted. It took a moment but he did eventually find a video of an electric mixture with the paddle attachment being used. He lifted the phone up for Benrey to see.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Is this good?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Studying the phone for a good while, a new arm emerged from the Griillii's side as his eyes were fixated on the screen. The arm shifted from black goo till it formed the shape of the paddle and began to mimic the motion the paddle made in the video. It moved in the mixing pattern till Benrey blinked back to reality. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Haha, go-go gadget paddle time." Benrey quipped nonchalantly as he grabbed the ingredients to follow through with the instructions previously listed. The sugar and butter in the bowl started to churn easy, forming clumps of cream colored fluff.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon grew silent when he saw... well... that. The Griillii's odd ability to shift his arm was fascinating and terrifying. He shivers before putting the phone down and re-opening the instructions. Focus Gordon, focus.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘We're making cookies here, not wondering about your boyfriend's odd anatomy.’</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>"Okay, next it wants you to slowly add the dry ingredients, mix until combined."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The hand in the butter cream bowl stopped once it was creamed enough, and a free hand grabbed for the sifted dry ingredients. Benrey was about to pour it in till he turned to Gordon. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Did you... wanna watch?" He softly asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon quickly nods, "uh, yes please?" He shifted closer, curious and excited to see more of the baking process, as well as what Benrey's odd limbs could do.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A hand gently lifted the borrower up to the Griillii's shoulder in the same position they had established last time. This would become the usual cookie spot. Benrey resumed the mixing and adding of ingredients once Gordon was secured.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon sat down on Benrey's shoulder and began to watch.  He wondered what type of notes he would have made based on what he's seeing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lots of notes about the arms Benrey had, and all the different things he could mold those arms into. He could see himself writing down questions about Griillii anatomy, "how does it function?", "how does it eat?", "is there any limitations to its abilities?", ect, ect. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He can also picture some fun notes on baking. Writing down what the different tools are, how to use each tool, different methods of baking, and who knows what else.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But since he can't write notes, and he doesn't want to distract Benrey, he just... watches. It wasn't as engaging as taking notes would be, but it is still learning.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The silence was shared till Benrey finished most of what needed to be done for that specific step. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You got that look on your face, bro. What's poppin'?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Benrey probed while glancing at the man out of the corner of his eye. The inner machinations of the borrower's mind were still very much of an enigma to the Griillii as his thoughts were to the other. Regardless, that still didn't keep the creature from trying to study his partner's body language; even when they ran around and borrowed together, Benrey would notice this Look Gordon got whenever something interesting was discovered or if something piqued the mouse-man's brain... Usually it was followed with him taking out his notebook and hurriedly writing information down with his right- oh... Yeah, he had a feeling for where this little question of his would lead to.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon looks over to Benrey when he spoke, ears perking up a little as he gave the other his full attention. He debated lying, on not telling Benrey what was on his mind, of not worrying him. I mean, there was nothing Benrey could do to help. He lost an arm, no more writing, pretty simple.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Um..." But lying to the other felt wrong. It wasn't a big lie or anything, but after all that the Griillii had done for him, they deserved an honest answer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Just... wishing I could use my notebook. I mean, I could write down everything I've learned! About you, about Elton, about baking, about stores, all of it! So... I suppose the easier answer is that I was lost in thought." He shrugs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A sad smile was given to Gordon. Yup, this was the expected outcome. Thank Ghetsis, they had technology. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Bro, lemme make that nerd brain of yours have a little brain blast." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Benrey softly spoke as a hand grabbed the phone from his shoulder.  He pressed the home button, and went into the apps;  finding the basic notepad app, and dragging it to an easily accessible part of the home screen. To show Gordon the magic that was smartphone applications, he showed the borrower how to open the notepad app, how to make a new note, how to title it, and then typing some dummy text that read: " My name is Gordon Freeman and I'm really smart, cute, and gay. :)”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The borrower watched Benrey curiously, shifting closer as Benrey showed him how to use the notepad app. He huffed at the note Benrey had made, the borrow, despite his size, still had pride. "I'm not cute." He muttered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Lemme get the fucking, chicken hat option set up for ya, while we're at it." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>With the phone keyboard open, his finger tapped a cog icon that redirected them to the system settings that specialized in the keyboard. Benrey messed with the settings and managed to make the keyboard extremely tiny; well, tiny for the Griillii's fat fingers, but still relatively large for the borrower's hand. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Try this on for size, mouse-man." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon blinks, tilting his head a little to the side as Benrey makes the keyboard smaller. Well shit, that would make things way fucking easier! </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Benrey placed the phone back into its vertical hold, the notepad app opened and ready to go for Gordon to use.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh, and to easily jump between ths recipe website and the app, you press the 3 little lines on the bottom left, and it'll make the apps into "windows" that you can select between."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When the phone was placed back in Gordon’s reach he quickly began to test out the things he had just been shown. Type things, deleting the note Benrey had written, things like that. His eyes fill with wonder as he begins to be able to take notes. Fucking finally! Sure, it was slow with only one hand, but it was better than nothing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Alright dude, thanks!" He smiles up at him before going back to the recipe, they were still baking after all.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Next step. Scoop mounds of batter, one and a half tablespoons in size, onto the baking sheets. Space them two to three inches apart. Then bake for 10-12 minutes or until the tops spring back when touched."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Benrey's heart got warmed from the change in Gordon's mood. The cookies were easily scooped out onto the sheets and transferred into the oven, ready to bake for the allotted time. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"And now we wait. Feel free to uh, type whatever you usually write in the meantime, yo." He offered as his limbs returned to normal, batter and other remnants being absorbed into his skin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon nods quickly, "alright, uh, thanks again dude." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He begins to type out the things he had learned about beans. Stores, baking, technology, and so on. It didn't take very long to type once he got used to the strange device.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then he moved onto all the questions and observations he had for his boyfriend. Some of them were repeats of stuff in his notebook, some of them were newer ideas. Either way it allowed him to infodump for a moment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Uh... would you be upset if I asked you some questions?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Huh? Questions?" Benrey hums curiously. "Sure, man. Why would that upset me, lol?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon shrugs, "I don't know if you're comfortable talking about, like, yourself? And your race?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He didn't want to push some unknown boundary with Benrey, but damn if he wasn't curious. He wanted to learn about the Griillii, about his boyfriend.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You're a little sweet pea, aren't you? Fuckin, sweeter than the cookies we're making I bet." The Griillii chuckles, carefully lifting the borrower and phone into his hands while moving to sit on the couch. He lifted Gordon up to his face for an easier view of his interviewer. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm an open gaming strats guide book; ask away~"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The borrower huffs and rolls his eyes, "I doubt that."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Anyway," he scrolls through the phone a little, finding the questions he had already written down. He really, really hoped Benrey didn't find his note taking weird or his curiosity annoying. "The whole thing you do, with your hands, how you turn them into other objects. How does that... work?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The scientists at Black Mesa had once sat him down for a series of similar questions. They wanted to know so badly how the Griillii was able to do the... things. At the time, Benrey honestly didn't have an answer for them, nor did he want to tell them anything. If he knew, it was his information to have, his knowledge to hoard. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>With Gordon, this interview seemed like it would be... fun and innocent.  Not demanding and malicious like the research facility's interrogations. The same very question Benrey would usually beat around the bush with others, now felt like a simple question a person would ask their date at dinner. A question that would only be answered to the tiny man in his hands; afterall, he was asking out of love - not with the intent of creating weapons for bootlickers. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Benrey would happily answer any and all of Gordon's questions - or at least answer them to the best of his ability. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He hummed, actually having to mull it over some. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well, I just kind of... imagine what I want to make, my arm feels tingly, and then boom - a shape is formed."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Benrey started with the simple answer; his perspective's answer. He realized he needed to elaborate more. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"My whole species was designed to be chaotic and shapeshift willy-nilly as we please; so as long as we eat enough. The more we eat, more shenanigans we're able to pull - also the bigger we, uh, get. But, yeah. We take in material we consume, strip it down to its basic elemental atoms," </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A new arm had formed. It disintegrated slowly to emphasize the steps. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"And we use those elements to practically play god and subconsciously will our forms to turn into what we want. "</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The hand reformed into the shape of a PS3 game controller. Benrey hoped he didn't ramble too much, or if it would be a satisfactory answer. He never mentioned the atomic deconstruction to the scientists ever, because they would know how to test his genetic make-up; if they didn't, they would find a way... tenacious bastards. This Griillii could only make a centillion amount of genetic reconfigurations, and despite it being a big number, it still wasn't infinite - not like other, more experienced Griilliis.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon gave Benrey his undivided attention, his ears perked up and his tail was still. He was focused. Listening intently to each and every word, only looking away to occasionally write notes. It was fascinating. Gordon would be lying if he claimed to not be thankful, it would be so easy for Benrey to call his curiosity annoying or cringe. He hoped he wasn't being annoying, he just wanted to understand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He didn't know what he'd do with all of this information, he just wanted to learn. He supposed if he ran into another borrower it would be a good idea to share it? Borrowers have always shared knowledge with their groups, it's how they learn what is dangerous, what is safe, what can be borrowed, and what should be left behind.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Would Benrey be upset if he showed another borrower his notes? How would Benrey even react to another borrower? Ah fuck, he went off topic with his thoughts. Reel it back in, Gordon, if those questions come up you can ask, not right now. Later.’</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>"That's really cool! Is that how you make multiple arms and eyes as well?" He tilts his head as he speaks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yepperooni. Me lookin' like this requires the same process. Otherwise I'd be," Benrey made a quick-raspberry-fart sound to simulate a generic sound for slime while the PS3 hand turned into black goo. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"But I'm sure you've seen that old picture of me vibing way back then." The Griillii chuckles.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon laughs at the sound before nodding. "The photo in the... uh... passport? Right? You were 100-some feet?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remembering the photo sent a small shiver down his spine. Right, that was kind of scary. A large mass that could easily crush a human let alone a borrower. It led him to try and run away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"... I should apologize, for how I responded to seeing it."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Benrey raises a brow at that with a mildly amused smile. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Whaaaat? Your response was the most, like, chilled one I've seen. No screamin', no faintin', none of that cheese. I'd kinda be concerned if ya- if ya didn't react like that; like, you good bro? lmao. But nah. Don't sweat it."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>If anything, the giant felt immensely proud and rightfully impressed that Gordon didn't react with intense hysteria, but rather seemed to immediately form a "what to do" plan to get away from the situation. Strong leaders tended to react well under intense pressure like that; pressure from a blackhole no less. Regardless, the borrower had reacted in fear and that didn't make the catalyst less painful for either.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"But... I kind of just ran off. I mean, sure, I didn't know you, but it was... okay maybe not an over reaction but I didn't let you explain it." He still felt bad. Knowing more about Benrey than he had before allowed him to feel bad for all the times he panicked and ran for it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It wasn't the only time I kind of just... ran for it? I mean I even stabbed you once!" Yeah, that's another thing he should probably apologize for. Even if Benrey hadn't seemed upset by the action, he still stabbed him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"So, I'm sorry."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A finger came up and cupped the side of the borrower's face, Benrey stared with a rare sincerity in his eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"How could I not forgive such a cute face, yo?" He hummed. "And ya know, if we maybe, like, um, go on some dates n gay stuff then you could stab me again~" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Griillii teases with a soft smirk, rubbing the other's face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The borrower blushes before leaning into the finger. He moved his hand up to hold it to his cheek, fuck, he loved the attention.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He perks up when Benrey mentions dates and being stabbed. It took the borrower a minute to comprehend what exactly had been said. "I-I mean, I’d love to uh... go on dates with you. But I don't... I don't want to hurt you! Do... do you want to be stabbed?!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The mere idea of someone wanting to be stabbed, especially after all that's happened involving a particular shiv, it surprised Gordon.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Y-you can't physically hurt me in a way that matters, babe." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Benrey reassured. "I mean, no one wants to be stabbed, but I figured that's the best way you'd be able to deal damage to me...." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He blinked till he realized that he probably sounded fucking insane to the smaller man right about now. Tommy had the same expression when he had to explain it to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh fuck, right. Fuck. Um. I guess the way my bud Tommy put it together in his head is that we Griillii are kinda..." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A sheepish expression formed on the Griillii's face as the finger pulled away to join his hand in rubbing at the back of his neck awkwardly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Really into pain?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon looked more and more panicked as Benrey talked about dealing damage. He didn't want to hurt the entity! Why would he want to harm his boyfriend?! That made no sense!</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His panic grew into confusion in the second part. Wait... hold on.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Did-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Um...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"... oh. I... I didn't know. Fuck uh... wow. I guess that makes your whole 'take me out to dinner first' comment make... more sense." He blinks, "so... you do want me to stab you? N-not now! But um," fuck this was awkward, "eventually?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Benrey shrugged, not honestly having an answer right now. He sure as fuck didn't prepare to suddenly  elaborate on Griillii sex education with his boyfriend of one week. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Y-yeah, eventually... Just kidding... U-unless?" He resorted to facetiousness in response to the awkwardness. "But uhhh, yeah. What- what other questions you got?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yeah this was moving a lot faster than the borrower expected. "Right, right. Uh..." Gordon scrolls through the phone, back up to where the question was. "I know I've asked a lot of questions about you, Elton, and how that... works. But I'm still very confused. Do you... share the same mind? Feel the same things?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well, yes, but also no? He's able to think and make actions on his own without my help, but ultimately stays linked to me. We can access each other's thoughts, debate with each other, talk things out, and even see what the other sees if we concentrate enough." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Benrey info dumped to Gordon. Talking about Elton and how the two entities were related felt like trying to explain why you can see out both eyes seamlessly, but the vision changes when one is blinded. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Anything he feels are sentiments of how I feel or would feel in his situation that grew from me simply willing him to just care for you. Think of it as like, having a 2nd you that can focus on other stuff you wish you could spend more energy on... A 2nd you to talk to... how would that go?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Griillii philosophically quizzed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Elton says hi by the way. Oh, and that your stuff has been moved to that little room of your's."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He finished with a smile. It didn't make a bit of fucking sense to himself, but it was the best take he had.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon wrote down everything Benrey said but still felt... well... very confused. It was honestly very hard for the borrower to understand. They were one, but also not. They shared memories, but they don't always both experience those memories. All very confusing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Okay, uh, tell Elton I said thanks?" He smiles, before pausing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Does that mean I should stop using your bed? Since my old bed is in that room?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Huh? My bed? Ohh you mean your large bed. Pfft! What for? Unless it's too hard...?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was Benrey's turn to be confused, unable to pick up on Gordon's meekness.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"H-huh? No, it's fine. Amazing even. But it is yours. You um... bought it. If you want it back you can have it." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The last thing Gordon wanted to do was steal from Benrey. Even if the other didn't use it much he wouldn't just claim it as his own. It felt wrong to. He didn't pay for it like beans did, he didn't build it like his other beds, he didn't really work for it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A playful smirk crossed Benrey's face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I didn't buy it though. My friend Tommy got it for me, but I don't use it like, ever. So, it's yours now. Well, technically anything I own is your's..."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He mused while glancing around the apartment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh..." Gordon tensed at the mention of Tommy, of the friend that would be entering their house.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A human.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He didn't want to think about that, about them. But his ears had already flattened and his tail was already tucked between his legs. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Why was he so afraid? Benrey already said he'd be fine! They weren't mean! He was safe! Right? Oh but what if he wasn't. All the awful things a malicious and cruel human could do. How many more things could multiple humans do??? He didn't want this. He didn't want to die. He wasn't ready to die! He just lost an arm, he can't lose his life!’</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>The borrower was spiraling, lost in thought. Tears pricked his eyes and a hand covered his mouth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Benrey's gaze returned to Gordon, his expression fell, observing and smelling the change in the man's demeanor. Another look Benrey had learned in their time borrowing together: a panic attack. A large finger carefully slid into his lap and added pressure by lightly pressing down into his legs and middle. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Meanwhile, Benrey racked his brain for what he could have said that maybe would've triggered these emotions.... Elton? Fuck no. The bed sharing? No. What else, what else.... Tommy? </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Very cringe of you Benrey - no one just “gets used” to larger creatures.’ </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey, Gordon?" The Griillii's voice lowered to a soft spoken timbre. "Buddy, what's up? What's, what's go you shakin', bacon?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon began to breathe a little easier when he felt the weight. He gasped for air, taking needy breaths as his hand lifted away from his mouth. He blinked away his tears and took a minute to breathe.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>In... out... in... out... in... out...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once he felt better his tail and ears returned to a more neutral position. He wasn't shaking anymore but he still didn't feel perfect. He blinks, taking another moment to remember the Griillii's question.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"N-nothing, nothing." He didn't look at Benrey. "When do you think the timer’s going to go off?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Benrey softly hummed. He knew it wasn't "nothing", but decided against pressing further. He leaned back some to peek over the bar counter. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Got uhh 2 minutes left..." The Griillii informed. "Could ask one last question if you'd like?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He offered as a means of distraction; man he was the worst interviewee even when he wasn't trying to be bad at it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon nods, "that sounds good." He wanted this last question to be something more light hearted, something fun. He smirks when he got an idea.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"So if you can change how you look, did you always intend to be so handsome?" It felt more like something Benrey might say to make him blush. The borrower wondered if the same sort of trick worked on Benrey.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The comment was quick to react within the monster. An immediate chemical reaction happened like putting mentos in Coca-Cola that brought forth a swarm of pink sweet voice to erupt out of the Griillii's mouth. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I-I--" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seems like he can't handle his own medicine. I mean, how else do you react to an attractive guy calling you handsome? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Benrey bit his bottom lip with a blush tinting his cheeks. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"J-just... made somethin' comfortable..."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon laughs when the pink sweet voice fills the air around them. Damn! That was much more effective than he thought it would be! His tail began to wag as he looked up at the glowing pink orbs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well... I like it." He softly purrs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A warm smile dances across Benrey's face as he leans in to nuzzle the borrower. They're able to embrace for a few seconds till an obnoxious drawn-out beeping sound echoes from the kitchen.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Guess that's our cue." The Griillii mumbles. He plants a chaste kiss to the other's head before lifting him back onto his shoulder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon had smiled when nuzzled, loving the soft affection. There was no hiding the smile on his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He flinched though, when the alarm went off. His ears perked right up and he turned his head to face the source of the sound. Oh, fuck, that startled him. The other thing that startled him was the sudden kiss that was pressed to his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Said face was now red. He didn't argue or struggle when placed onto the shoulder, instead he just got comfy and tried to process all that just happened. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Right, cookies!</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Y-yeah. Can you put the phone back where it was before?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yessiree. One mo-bile device comin' up." Benrey chimed while placing the phone into its place for Gordon to easily operate. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Baking duo assembled. The cookies looked fabulous coming out of the oven; not quite like the picture, but still adequate for their first time. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Fuck yeah, looks dope as hell." Benrey ooed at the cooling morsels of cake.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hell yeah!" Gordon grins. "Next it says to..." He goes back to the recipe and scrolls to where they left off, "let it cool completely on a wire rack. As it cools I'm pretty sure we can start the icing." He turns to Benrey and smiles.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The cookies were transferred to the rack upon instruction. Light airy steam rose from the soft spongy tops, filling the air with the sweet smell of chocolate cake. Sniffing the delicious scent got the Griillii to make haste in grabbing the icing materials. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon would instruct him on how to do the next final steps; the buttercream making, the cookie assembling and icing dispensing, and finally placing the cookie sandwiches on a plate. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And voila, the whoopie pies were done. A pie was grabbed by Benrey and placed onto a small single serving plate before Gordon was retrieved from his shoulder and placed onto the counter next to the confectionery. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well... How'd we do, chief?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon walks over to the whoopie pie and looks it over for a moment, "it looks pretty good."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Using his hand he got himself a decently sized piece of cookie and icing, well it was a decent size for Gordon. He happily bites into the piece of the whoopie pie and smiles brightly. "Shit! That is really fucking good."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He turns to Benrey and grins, "I'd say we did fucking amazing."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Niiiiccee, lemme try." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Benrey applauds with a single clap of his hands. He picks the pie up off the plate and brings it to his mouth. Sharp teeth sink in and cleave off a decently sized bite effortlessly. Chocolatey,  tender, creamy... it seemed to practically melt in his mouth. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Benrey grew starry eyed as brown gingersnap colored bits of sweetvoice sang out with a "Wooahh-" He broke a small chunk off for Gordon and put it on the plate for him to grab more, cause holy fuck was this shit good. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Fucking, poggers supreme! Hello??? This would be a perfect score in Cooking Mama." The Griillii purrs while going for another bite. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Haft s'more dude." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He gestures to the chunk with a messy mouthful.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon chuckles and grabbed some of the piece that Benrey had gestured to. He happily ate it, why wouldn't he? It was good. Really fucking good. His tail happily wags as he ate.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Beans are fucking spoiled," he chuckles to himself, "any other situation and I'd been eating stale crumbs off the counter. You all live like fucking kings."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chewing with a smile, Benrey hums playfully before swallowing to speak. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well, now you're gonna start living like this." He pointed out. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Prince Gordo~"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The borrower blinks before laughing. Prince Gordon huh? Wow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Don't princes usually have, like, robes or something? Like formal attire? Crowns, capes, that sort of thing?" He chuckles again before continuing, "I don't look much like royalty."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Shhh, you're just undercover bro. Incognito. Stealth mission. Sneak skill 100." Benrey smirks. "We'll get your royal garb soon enough, king. I mean, you already have the face of a royal~"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon blushed before laughing and shaking his head, "dude, I don't need a big fancy crown or anything."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He then looks back over to the whoopie pies they had made. "We should probably get those packed up, I don't think it’d be a lot of fun to just... leave them out." He doubts stale whoopie pies would be as good as properly stored, not stale, whoopie pies.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Gotta good point there. If I can find any, uhh room in the fridge. Never had it this full of food before." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Benrey comments while going to get a container for the pies. Miraculously, the cookies-pies-cakes, whatever the hell you can classify whoopie pies as, fit perfectly in the fridge next to the chocolate chip cookies from yesterday. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yo, wanna try one of the chocolate chip cookies? Kinda missed out on em yesterday, haha."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Of course I do!" Gordon chuckles, looking up at him. "The more cookies, the merrier!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"If you give a mouse a cookie..." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Benrey mumbled to himself jokingly as he grabbed a good looking miniature cookie - made just for Gordon while grabbing a regular size one for himself. The fridge door closed and he took just a few steps to reach the borrower, his hand holding the small cookie out for Gordon.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon blinks, looking up at him confused. "What?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He still took the small cookie and ate it, he helped make them he had the right to.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Huh?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A grin formed as Benrey bit into the cookie.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The borrower blinks before sighing and rolling his eyes. "Nevermind, asshole." He finished his cookie.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's not ‘asshole’, it's ‘blackhole’, thank you very much." Benrey playfully jabbed back before shoving his cookie in his mouth to finish it too.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon rolls his eyes and crosses his arms, "Okay, blackhole. Jeez, don't need to be so whiny." His tone was playful, tail wagging behind him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Nmeh te ne wehnah." Benrey mocked with a whiny tone, kneeling on the ground to be eye-level. A shit eating grin was plastered on his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The borrower laughed at the childish mockery, shaking his head a bit.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He then puts his hands on his hips. "I bet you think your sooo funny." He chuckles, tail playfully swaying behind him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yes. Actually. I see you chuckling n giggling over here. B-bet if I poke your your tum tum you'll giggle like the, uhh, like the Pillsbury dough boy~" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Griillii teases as his finger acts on that threat, lightly poking Gordon's midsection.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Laughter bubbles out of him before he swats the hand away, "hahaha! N-no fair!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He crossed his arms over his stomach, tail wagging more. "I don't know what you're talking about."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Ho ho~" Came an airy high pitch sound from Benrey as he mimicked the doughboy giggle. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Gordon giggle-man over here. Can't admit he has uh, has a cute laugh."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I do not." The borrower squints at Benrey. "I'm not even cute in general, why would I have a cute laugh?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Cutiepatootiesayswhat."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Fuck you" Gordon huffed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"That a promise?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Benrey had the widest grin on his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon choked on his own spit, before he started to walk away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm going back to bed!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The facade couldn't be held for much longer. Laughter began spilling out of Benrey so hard he had to press his head to the counter. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Nighty night little sleepy snooze-man~" The Griillii called out before breaking into more hysterics as he watched Gordon walk into the metaphorical sunset.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Sorry for this chapter being late. One author had a doctors appointment and was high off medication, the other forgot.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Though I Know Not What You Are</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Gordon decided to start reorganizing his little hole in Benrey's apartment. It had been a while since he'd used his old home in the bedroom so he wanted to get it cleaned up. He was sure Elton already scared off anything that lived inside the cozy space, but that didn't mean it couldn't use some good old organization.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sweetvoice Translations:<br/>Chardonnay - everything is okay/everything will be okay</p>
<p>This chapter has lots of misunderstandings, arguments, crying, and hysteria. If these things make you uncomfortable read with caution or skip this chapter.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>It was the next day when Gordon decided to start reorganizing his little hole in Benrey's apartment. It had been a while since he'd used his old home in the bedroom so he wanted to get it cleaned up. He was sure Elton already scared off anything that lived inside the cozy space, but that didn't mean it couldn't use some good old organization.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He started with simple things, cloths being put in the same space, needles being tucked away safely, bed receiving some more blankets and fluff. He also dusted the surfaces and washed the walls and floors of the space. Just wanted to make the place more livable. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sure he may not need it very much anymore, not with Benrey letting him use his bed and the Griillii cooking for him, but it was still nice to have his own space. It gave him a place to put all the stuff Benrey gave him, the shirts, shoes, pants, and any other trinkets the Griillii got for him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As he was organizing he searched through his bag and found.... it. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The knife.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He had picked it up without thinking, just sorting through the bag when he felt the metal object. He looked down at the blade and felt himself tense.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It had been used to cut off the human’s finger, [REDACTED] didn't even stand a chance against it. Then it was so easy for the crazed human to use this exact same blade to rip his arm off. The whole thing. He had lost the limb just below where his shoulder was. The memory of everything post cut was still fuzzy... but Gordon would be lying if he said he didn't get nightmares of the manic smile. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He slowly stood up... he... he needed to put this somewhere safer. Somewhere farther away from himself. He walks out of his home and glanced around, looking for Elton or Benrey.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They'd know what to do.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>----</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Rock. Paper. Scissors. Shoot!" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Rock. Paper. Scissors. Shoot!" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A heated game seemed to be taking place in the living room. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Rock. Paper. Scissors. Shoot!" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Bro, cmonnnnn it's been a full 5 minutes, fucking stop hacking me man.... Stop hacking you?! No that'd be cringe-- mother fuck-"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Rock. Paper. Scissors. Shoot!" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Rock. Paper. Scissors. Shoot!" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A giant claw threw scissors... a small boney hand threw rock. No words. Absolutely none could describe the complete bafflement, the pure buffoonary, the inconceivable amount of astonishment that was Benrey's defeat at rock-paper-scissors at the dry bony hands of his own subconscious. The Griillii slowly blinks, glancing from his hand down to the mini-skeleton that Fortnite danced in victory at his expense.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon walked out of the bedroom and over to the living room, the two seemed to be in the middle of something, so he would wait.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The borrower wasn't dressed in his usual orange tunic with brown pants combo, instead he wore one of the doll outfits Benrey and Elton had gotten him. Specifically he wore the light green sweater with black and white lines, along with its matching grey pants, he still wore his usual socks and glove with it though. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon was pretty sure his other green glove was lost with his arm, but now wasn't the time to worry about that.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He watched quietly as Elton began to dance, he didn't understand some bean dances, but whatever, it didn't matter right now. With their game seemingly over Gordon decides now is the best time to act. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His one hand fiddled nervously with the knife as he took a deep breath before speaking, "Elton. Benrey. Can... can I... ask something of you?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Benrey blinks again and looks down at the borrower with a smile. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Yooo. Yeah man, uh..." he quirks a brow, taking notice of the nervous demeanor and... the keystone. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"What's up?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Elton stops dancing to pay attention.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon hesitates for a moment, ears pressing against his head. He was debating on what to say exactly. </span>
  <em>
    <span>‘I'm scared of my knife?</span>
  </em>
  <span>,' </span>
  <em>
    <span>'I feel sick just looking at this random shiv I found?', 'I don't want this thing anymore?' Ugh. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>‘No no no. Those won't work. The last thing he needs is for Benrey to mock him over this, jokingly or not. Mouseman scared of his own blade? Cringy fears. Or whatever other nonsensical bullshit would spew from his boyfriend's mouth.’</span>
  </em>
  <span> He loved Benrey but his joking tone could really be a bother sometimes. Normally he loved it, but not right now.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Um..."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>What could he say that would avoid the most amount of teasing and also prevent the Griillii from worrying about him. He's had enough panic attacks for the week, he didn't need another.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Well... with you guys taking care of me, due to my um... arm... I've been thinking. I don't really need a knife anymore? ... L-like it’d probably do more.... harm.... than... good..." He took a shaky breath before looking back at them, "can't really use it with my non dominant hand!"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Keep going Gordon, you got this.’</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"So I was wondering if you wanted to take it? That way..." </span>
  <em>
    <span>‘I don't have to see it’</span>
  </em>
  <span>, "I don't have to worry about It!"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Something definitely smelled off about this... A sense of dread began to pool in the Griillii's stomach. He had been loathing for when this moment would come. He should've been transparent from the beginning... but if he had been honest back then, Gordon could have easily chucked him away - he wouldn't have been able to follow the borrower if the shiv wasn't present. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>'His arm also wouldn't be missing either with the shiv gone. He could've been happier. Safer.' </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>If he could feel it, Benrey would've felt the urge to vomit. His own fears from the early days of his stupid stupid Griillii afflictions came rearing back. He audibly gulped; how long had he been staring? </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Y-you're returning your gift?" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Benrey asked without thinking, Griillii nature overriding him; he wanted to melt away, and implode.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The borrower blinks, hesitating at the odd statement.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gift?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He hadn't been gifted the shiv.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He'd found it in his bag, in his room, stupidly late at night. Some time after their second meeting, when Gordon had stabbed Benrey with his old, hand crafted, kind of bad, blade.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sure he didn't know where the new shiv had come from, just that it showed up just as he lost his old one. But no one gifted it to him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"N... No? You didn't... this wasn't a gift. I just... found it." He shrugged, before looking back down at it. His thumb trailed along the symbol that occasionally glowed or shifted colors. How such a fancy blade ended up in his care he'd never know, but it proved to be something he couldn't wield. It was far too dangerous.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"B-besides. I don't... I don't need it anymore! I have you guys!" He pulled his face away from it to look up at Elton and Benrey.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He didn't know the knife literally was Benrey, or a part of him, or another odd and otherworldly form of connection between the black hole and the small blade.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The Griillii shivers from the symbol being touched. He would've appreciated the touch had the circumstance not been so... abhorrent. Had they isolated the borrower's statement of "I don't need it anymore!"   they probably would've taken it personally. But, they shouldn't feel guilty; they didn't cut Gordon! [REDACTED] cut Gordon!! </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>'You gave him the weapon. The weapon hurt him. You are the blade. You hurt Gordon.' </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Benrey's pupils slit when he meets Gordon's eyes. He could practically hear the heart beating erratically under the floorboards. So so easy would it be to just... take the shiv. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>'Take it, and say nothing. It would be one less thing to scare Gordon. Keep it from him... make things easier...'</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The malicious voice sweetly beseeches in his mind: it wasn't Ghetsis, it wasn't Bikriin... it was Him. Grohni. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Elton could only spew out a few balls of grey sweet voice from the air growing dense. He was afraid. Afraid of the evil god of impulses taking precedence in their shared mind. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I..." Benrey starts, trying to ignore the ill intent god. He needs to tell Gordon. Gordon needs to know. What kind of relationship would this be if he kept anything from the borrower... it wasn't right by Earth relationship means. It wasn't right by Ameanria relationship means.... not even a Griillii would keep things from their mate. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Th-that... it... it's..."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Benrey swallows his nerves. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"That </span>
  <em>
    <span>is</span>
  </em>
  <span> me, Gordon... m-my keystone..."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The borrower noticed something was wrong right away. Benrey was tense, it was rare he'd see the Griillii so hesitant. Elton didn't seem much better, and while Gordon didn't know sweet voice, he could guess that grey wasn't a good thing.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Had he said something wrong? Had he done something wrong? Was he breaking some unspoken rule??’</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He paused when Benrey spoke, only to frown.</span>
  <em>
    <span> ‘What the fuck did that mean? Keystone?? It was just some dumb knife he was having an over reaction to! He just wanted it gone! Who cares where it came from. Who cares what it is.’</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He grits his teeth before sighing.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I don't... I don't know what that means dude. Do you want to take it or not?!" Anger was his usual response when confusion and panic mixed together. He didn't mean to have such a harsh tone it's just... He needed to stop looking at it. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He needed it gone.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The Griillii flinches back. Show. Don't tell. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>'Be so easy... He's still clueless...' </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>No. No. No. Benrey glances around frantically till his eyes lock onto it - the old Canadian passport. He leans forward to quickly grasp the booklet, urgent to have it in sight, and then places it down on the ground. Without warning the Griillii dematerialized, no goop, no melting, just all the atoms stripping apart and siphoning into the document. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>In Gordon's hand, the blade vibrates and begins to break apart. The refined metal chips and rusts away to reveal the blade of the original handmade shiv. The symbols disappear, the hilt returns to its shoddy grip, and the colored gems disintegrate, leaving the borrower with his old friend in hand. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Meanwhile, the passport is going under its own transformation. The letters C-A-N-A-D-A shatter and shift around to form the same sigils that were present on the dagger, blue leather fades and melts into a pitch black, and the very symbol that Gordon ran his finger over appears where the bean nation's crest once resided; the symbol of Ghetsis. A symbol inherently Griillii. The decals glow a deep red as the passport returns to that familiar appearance; it was the book of information Gordon had once snooped through. The same book that scared the borrower into leaving in the first place.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The damned passport.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon froze as he quietly watched the transformation. He watched as this fancy, elegant blade turned into his old shiv. He watched as a random passport turned into a booklet that led to him running away.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His grip on the blade loosened, before it slipped from his fingers and fell to the floor. Gordon didn't know what to do, or even what exactly he just witnessed. Benrey was here, then he wasn't. That damnable blade was here, then it was just his old one. A normal passport was here, then it wasn't.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The borrower began to back up, his brain desperately trying to understand what just happened.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"You... it... I...." He couldn't think, couldn't form words. He didn't understand. </span>
  <em>
    <span>‘Keystones, transforming items, other worldly bullshit. It didn't make sense. I didn't make sense. It didn't. It didn't. He couldn't. Why would-- What was--’</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>'That is me'. A phrase Benrey had said not even a few minutes ago, but it suddenly clicked and his eyes went wide. He stopped his retreat to look down at the old shiv he had just dropped.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Your..."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Words Gordon, find your words.’</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Y-you were the blade... y-you... you were there... the whole.... t-the whole time."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"G-Gordon- please, let- let- let me explain. Please. Please..." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A grief stricken voice pleaded from the book. The sigils changed color from purple to cherry - he doesn't know how to say sorry. On the floor, a pitch black shadow began to slowly slither out from under the book towards the borrower. Benrey couldn't reform; the energy used to attach to the passport mixed with his overwhelming emotions kept him melted in shame.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon's eyes went wide when he saw the shadow slithering towards him. He once told Benrey that he trusted the other to never hurt him, that he knew he was safe with them. He believed that would be true no matter what.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But there's only so long you can deny your instincts for.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Borrowers hide, they stay secret, tuck themselves away to keep safe. An entire species dedicated to secrecy, hiding their very existence from the rest of the world. They set up rules to ensure this. Punishments for rule breakers so they can keep the whole of the group safe. Hidden was safe. Hidden was natural. Hidden was instinct.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon had been going against his instincts for a while now, it started with little things, and turned into this. The threat of human's visiting, the very entity that promised to protect him being the blade that hurt him. Breaking the natural order of things had lead to this, and when what you have doesn't work, you need to find something different. Sometimes you adapt, and sometimes you need to go back to how things were before.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It didn't take the borrower long to switch back to the way he was before, to his instincts. Front door was closed, that wasn't an option. In fact there was only really one place the Griillii never bothered to follow him to within this apartment. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His little hole in the wall.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>With no other options he stumbled back, before running.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was weird, running a full sprint with only one arm, he stumbled a lot more then before, but he wasn't concerned about that right now. He didn't have time to be.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"G-gordon---" The voice chokes out before being silenced. Verbal communication now lost on the Griillii.  What has he done? He wanted to give chase, feed into his predatory instincts, keep his partner close and comforted. But he shouldn't. It wouldn't be right. It wouldn't be fair.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>'Stupid Griillii brain, fucking idiot, can't even see that you're the cringe ass responsible for his pain and grief. The last thing he wants or needs to see is you.' </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Any part of Benrey for that matter. Not even Elton.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He really needs to collect himself... literally. The decision was made. On the coffee table, the skeleton broke apart into bones, bones that soon disintegrated into black nothingness before joining the mass on the floor.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>For a moment, the mass remained. Silence hung in the air while the borrower retreated to the bedroom. And then, he emerged: the black ichor pooled out of the passport and soon formed the humanoid shape of Benrey laying on the floor. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His eyes look so puffy and somber, staring up at the rotating ceiling fan. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Round and around...</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The watchful eyes follow the blades whizzing by. A heaviness tears into his heart. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Round and around... </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Teeth clench in pain with a sharp inhale. Face contorting into a grimace.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Round and around...</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A shuddery pathetic sound leaves the Griillii... a quiet sob that racks his body. A steady flow of tears pours from his eyes. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>'Let it out. Let it out now to keep Gordon from seeing you cry.'</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The borrower didn't stop till he had reached the hole in the wall, he stumbled in hastily, accidently scratching his arm on the rough wall as he slammed into it before stumbling inside. Luckily the arm wasn't bleeding, just scratched. He took a paranoid glance behind him before moving further into the room.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Each heavy breath sent chills through his body, he was trembling. He walked to the farthest corner in the room, as far away from the entrance as he could be. His back was soon pressed into the corner, he then watched the entrance and waited.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He held his breath and kept his tail tucked between his legs, ears pressed flat against his head.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon was on high alert, waiting for the predator to track him down, to kill him, take another limb, something. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Normally he'd try and re-collect himself, breath, calm down. Benrey would never hurt him. Elton would never hurt him. It didn't make any sense to. Why not have done it earlier? Why do it now? They were his friends, his loved ones. He depended on them. Needed them.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But his sensibility was currently gone.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Each breath was a desperate gasp of air as he began to hyperventilate. Tears streamed down his face as he stared at the doorway. Well, he stared for as long as he could, eventually his vision was blinded by tears. He felt anxiety come crashing down on his four inch form, making him shaky, and nauseous, and light headed. He struggled to breathe, to see, and even just to keep himself upright.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He pressed more into the corner and slid to the floor. Breathing growing harder, his hand moved up and began clawing at his neck. He couldn't breath.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>This lack of breath only added to his initial panic. If he was sensible he would realize he needed to calm down, but Gordon wasn't. Instead he clawed at his neck as his lightheadedness grew worse.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His emotions we're spiralling out of control and he didn't have the means to pull himself back together.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The irony befell the two in the sense that the creature who had been split apart into 3 pieces was pulling themselves together while the tiny man who had held strong began to break into pieces. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>By the grace of Bikriin, mercy of Ghetsis, and Elton's return to his mind, the Griillii was able to recalibrate himself after a minute or two of sobbing. He needed a plan. He needed to find Gordon. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Benrey wipes his hand across his face and gets up, inhaling the air for the borrower's scent. The meme of Morgan Freeman saying "i can smell you" facetiously echoed in his mind. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But not just yet. He knew where he was, but was he calm enough? The sniffling and a few stray tears told him he needed to work harder. Fuck. What was that method Tommy would use to calm down? </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Benrey has no need to breathe, but that doesn't mean he can't utilize the functions of it to manipulate his physical form and emotions.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The Griillii stood straight up and relaxed some before going off the memorized instructions from the voice of Tommy. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>D-Deep breath in for 5 seconds, hold… hold for 7, and out for 9. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Inhale.... Hold...... Exhale....... Repeat. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It took a minute, but Benrey soon found himself with a level head; some blissful orbs of chardonnay sighing out.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Choked sobs left the borrower as he continued to struggle for air. The tears flowed from his eyes like waterfalls, his nails leaving red marks all over his neck, the gasps of air only worsened his shaking.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There were a number of things that had built up, leading to this overflowing mess of an emotional outburst. Sudden change in lifestyle, trauma, stress, fear, his pre-existing anxiety, confliction emotions, and who knows what else. All of the things he'd pent up over the past months was now spilling out, drowning him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When someone is drowning they are often hard to notice and unable to call for help, Gordon's choking sobs and struggling gasps of air made sure of that. They tend to grab onto any sort of support they can find, Gordon's only real grounding surface was himself, evident by his struggling and deep red marks all over his neck. If a lifeguard or buddy fails to notice, or you failed to bring one and can't save yourself, you may pass out.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon would end up fainting, his form slumps and he slid to the floor. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His now unconscious body finally breathing.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Like clockwork, the bedroom door slowly opens right when the borrower passes out, Benrey carefully lowering himself to the floor to peer under the bed. Yellow glowing eyes narrow to focus in an attempt to see clearly into the hole; thankfully his vision was pretty poggers. What wasn't poggers, however, was what his eyes could see. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Oh no. Oh no no no. The Griillii sucked in a sharp breath of air and sat up in a panic. Gordon is unconscious. Did he hurt himself??? He could faintly smell blood and that made him worry even more. He needed to get small. Now... But how!! He had been carelessly eating with Gordon, acquiring mass that he was still trying to work from eating [REDACTED]. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>'C'mon Benrey do a big THINK. Make some brain cells.' </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And then it hit him -  he needed to split apart again, and not just make a mini skeleton... No sir. A giant skeleton. Wanting to use up as much mass as possible, the entity uses gravity and pressure to re-smash himself into a suspending bubbling ball of dark matter. Like a cell in the end stages of mitosis, a large ball broke off from a very tiny one. From large mass, calcium and collagen formed giant bones and various parts of a 7ft skeleton, and from the tiny mass of black formed the figure and clothes of a panicked rat man. The two collapsed to the floor: Elton casually sat up and soon started gawking at himself. Wow. So this was what it felt like to be the main mass's size. Meanwhile, Benrey was immediately up and sprinting for Gordon's hole in the wall.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The hood on the rat-borrower flew off while running, exposing his slicked back ponytail and worried expression. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"G-Gordon?" He tries his best to calmly call to the slumped over man, sliding down onto the ground close to him and immediately scooping his love into his arms and pulling him into his lap.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A tender hand places itself on the warm tear-stained cheek, thumb brushing the droplets away. Gordon was breathing. Thank Ghetsis. Benrey didn't dare try and wake the borrower up. Instead, he lightly rubbed his hand over the man's face: rubbing his cheek and petting back his messy brown locks as he waited for Gordon to come-to. Outside the room, Elton had quickly grabbed a cap of water and reached his large hand into the room, placing it delicately on the ground near Benrey.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The borrower would only be out for a couple minutes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When he did wake up he was dazed, tired. Tears still wet from all the crying, and he still felt a little faint.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tired green and brown eyes glanced around, before landing on the borrower that held him. "Benrey....?" His voice was soft as he moved his hand to run it through his hair.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He was home. In the apartment. Within the hole in the bedroom wall.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The borrower shifted and realized he was being held by the Griillii, his brows furrowed in confusion.</span>
  <em>
    <span> ‘What happened? Why was he being held? Why had Benrey shrunk back down?’ </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Well, the only way to find out is to ask.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"W... what happened?" The slight loss of memory was temporary, he needed to breath and rest, and it wouldn't be long until the memories started to come back.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But for the moment he was dazed and confused. His chest hurt from gasping and his neck covered in the red marks caused by his nails.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The concerned eyes had a flash of relief when Gordon came too, locking onto the hurting borrower. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Shhh, just... just take it easy for a hot sec, bro. Please?" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Benrey softly spoke, keeping Gordon hushed while he reached to the side and lifted the water filled lid. With just one arm he easily held it steady, bringing it up to Gordon while his other arm gently propped the man up on his lap. Dear Ghetsis this was so nerve racking. He lamented for when Gordon would use his smart nerd brain and remember what  had just transpired. Would he freak out? Would he angrily yell? The fluff tipped rat tail twitched nervously. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"D-drink some water. Not too- not too much at once, just sip."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon blinks slowly before nodding and doing as asked. He sipped a little bit of water without complaint, his eyes softly closing afterwards as he let out a gentle hum.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>For the moment despite his dizziness and over all not great feelings, he was comfortable in the Griillii's lap. Relaxing into him after taking a sip of water. The doll clothes he was currently dressed in weren't the most comfortable, but they still worked. Plus Elton made them a lot better.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The borrower then noticed how Benrey's tail twitched nervously, and it made him frown. Something scaring the Griillii had to be awful.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His ears pressed against his head and his eyes turned to look up at Benrey. "W... what's wrong...?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That simple genuine question sliced through Benrey's core, creating a snag in the fabric of his being that was threatening to come undone. How could he look at him with such dreadful fear one moment and then gaze at him with such pureness the next? It's not fair, it's not fair, Ghetsis, it just wasn't fair to Gordon. The Griillii, like the rest of his kind, doesn't deserve the concern. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Burning hot bright white bubbled up in his chest but he bit his lip to hold it back; the remnants of the forceful sweet voice rippled from the corners of his mouth in a white mist. He set the water down and glanced away dejectedly to the ground - away from those gorgeous eyes that have cried and grieved far too much. C'mon Benrey, be strong. So badly did he want to hug the borrower close and bury his face into his shoulder, cry out his apologies and explanations, but... He couldn't. Gordon would probably push him away, grow scared, and panic. Words. Use your big boy words, you stupid monster. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Monster... Gordon's monster. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tears pricked at Benrey's eyes as he sucked it up and tried his best to calmly speak.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"...M-me. I- I never wanted any of- of- of-." His bottom lip quivered, orbs going from grey to purple spilling out. He had to bite it back and swallow his nerves before they forced a sob out of him. Unfortunately, a few tears spilled over without him noticing. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I n-never wanted any of- of this to ha-happen. I never wanted to- to hurt y-you, Gordon." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His voice cracked and his head lowered even further in shame. 'You stupid fucking idiot. You're going to upset him.' The Griillii trembled as tears spilled onto the borrower's lap with a sharp claw coming up to grip into his hair, messing up the neatness of the done ponytail and staining the doll clothes. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"P-p-p-protect-- it was sssupposed to protect you, ssserve-" A choking sniffle. "Serve you. H-help you. Not this. Not fucking this. Not fucking this..." he quietly sobbed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"What are... you..." It was weird, one second he didn't recall anything prior, and the next it slowly bleeds into his memory. The panic, the fear, the realization, all of it. It slowly returned to him, giving him pause.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He blinks, processing all the new information. Okay, hold on. Benrey was the knife, or the keystone, as he called it. That was him. He was claiming to have given him the knife as a... way to protect him. Apparently? But if the knife was him... wait.. hold on. What.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He moved his hand to his head, feeling sick. Again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"... W... why didn't you... you s-s-stop it. I-If..." He swallowed down some tears, "if it w-w-was you? Why didn't y-y-you stop it! Stop him!" His voice grew more and more distressed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The Griillii flinched from the increase in volume, but breathed some out of his own crying to speak. To explain himself. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"The key-keystone i-is what keeps me h-here... Griilliis attach to," </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Benrey had to spit out some distressed bright white sweet voice. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"We- we attach to shit so we d-don't attach to a wholeass pl-planet n br-break it... sssslike Elton. C-can't control it u-unless I'm actively, cognitively, thinking about it. B-Benrey wasn't home- i-i was getting..." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He pulled on his hair. Stupid. Stupid. Shouldn't have gone to get the music. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I was g-gettin' my phone t-to play m-music for you-- i was- i was going to confess...." he whimpered. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>'Confess for what? He hates you now.'</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I-i didn't know- i didn't know. I didnt know till it happened. T-till-- till i-" More tears welled up. "T-till i tasted blood..."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The borrower watched him quietly, frowning at his stuttering tone. Gordon should be understanding, he should know the Griillii didn't know, he should be thankful he saved him at all, he should be grateful for everything that they went through together.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But sometimes you just want to be angry.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sometimes you want to lash out, even if you're hurting someone you genuinely care about.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sometimes it's easier to bare your teeth and claws, and rip apart the relationships you've built. Because you're hurt, because you're angry. It's easier to be angry then it is to be understanding. It's easier. This was easier.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"H-How could you n-n-not know?! Your-- You're some otherworldly e-entity f-from space! You said so yourself!" He snapped, tears rolling down his face as he lashed out. "How could y-you not know?! You said it yourself! It was you! You were there!"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He pushed away from the Griillii a little, which proved to be a mistake. Even just sitting up in his current condition made him light headed. His hand that shoved Benrey away moved to hold his head as he fell back down.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The other just took it. He deserved to be yelled at... he believed so anyways. Benrey's arm adjusted to support Gordon a bit better. Even in this moment he was failing the borrower. The rat finally glanced up to meet Gordon's pained, sad, and enraged expression. There wasn't a lot that the entity feared in this universe, but the way Gordon looked at him... he was petrified. He rose up from the ground, Gordon cradled in his arms and then placed him down in his hand-made bed. One thing Benrey confidently knew was that he wasn't wanted anymore. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>'Yeah. How could you not know? Did you really know? Did you forget like you always do? Good job, imbecile.' </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The evil god's voice slipped through the puncture holes Gordon and himself had made, berating Benrey on all sides. Benrey knew exactly why he didn't know, and knew why he couldn't just magically return. He had to be aware of what was going on and focus on the location of the keystone; but he was unaware and couldn't focus until it was too late. It was the Griillii's turn to slump to the floor as the voice continued to chew him out for Gordon. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>'Made in Ghetsis' image, and you still can't do a damned thing right. Even made the only person to have ever loved you hate you in less than a year. Disgraceful.' </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I-i-i-" Words were starting to fail the Griillii again. "I did... hnn, nt. Not-- I don't knoww. I don't know. I-I don't know." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He babbled between trembling sobs. Trying to say "I'm so sorry" failed tremendously by the phrase coming out repeatedly not in English, but in his native tongue. A sad pathetic string of words that sounded like abstracted English phonetics played in reverse started to spew from his mouth as he curled in on himself, wanting to be as small as possible. Orbs that were the color dirt floated out from under the hood he hid under.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon laid on the bed, hand still resting on his head as he waited for the dizziness to pass. His nails dug into his scalp as he took deep breaths.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When he finally opened his eyes he didn't see Benrey, but he knew now that sitting up to look around the room for him, wasn't a good idea. He heard him babble, then make... odd sounds. He could hear the sobs and hurt tone.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The borrower's ears pressed against his head as he listened to the heartbreaking sound of the universe's most dangerous predator cry.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He took a deep breath in, then out. The tears continued to roll down his cheeks. ".... Y-Y-You promised...."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Benrey had promised. And he'd broken it, hadn't he? Not even at his own conscious hands either. Just part of him managed to fuck up for him; his keystone no less - the object that's supposed to be the most detached part of a Griillii. That'd be like a shoe falling off your foot and then you come to find out that it was responsible for putting two men in the hospital through a weird series of events. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The Griillii whimpered in response, spewing more foreign phrases repeatedly till a pained word of English broke through: "sorry".</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon pulled on his hair. He didn't care how badly it hurt, he already lost a fucking arm how could anything hurt more than that?! He was useless. Useless useless useless.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He should be dead. In all honesty, it made the most sense. If a borrower can't maneuver, they die. If a borrower can't hide, they die. If a borrower can't borrow, they die. If a borrower can't follow their instincts, they die. It wasn't a difficult concept to grasp. Except for Gordon, apparently. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Who was he to think that he could break every rule in the book, fall in love with some weird alien from space, and live happily?! The rules exist for a reason.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"..."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He looks to the side, not saying anything as he continues to cry. Sometimes self loathing is a vocal assault against yourself, other times it's a silent train of thought. A silent scream. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sometimes it's a reminder of everything you've done wrong, not just the relevant bullshit.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The Griillii tensed when Gordon looked, despite having their face hidden beneath the hood. He'd stopped his nonsensical babbling after "sorry" and grew silent. English couldn't be properly spoken right now, so he was only making a fool of himself. Seeking darkness, his arms slipped into himself, taking refuge under the layers of cloth and scarves on his borrower form as he curled in on himself further. Silently, he was expecting the moment where Gordon would get the urge to yell more - to tell him to get the fuck out. He would have left already so the borrower wouldn't waste precious breath and energy on him, but a stupid part of him wanted to stick around and make sure Gordon was okay after that fainting spell. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"........."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And so the borrower and Griillii spent a moment of tense silence together, it wasn't necessarily suffocating, but it wasn't pleasant either. Gordon glanced at Benrey before staring at the wall. He stayed in this weird silence for a while, he wasn't sure how long.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When it grew to be a little too much the borrower forced himself to speak.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Look... I.... I need... I need space, right now. Fucking, a minute alone to process... all of this. Please. I just... please."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Listening immediately, Benrey rises from the floor without a hitch. He nods in understanding, hoping Gordon sees the acknowledgement, and then staggers out of the room.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon didn't look over until Benrey was gone, he glanced at the door before sighing heavily. He rolled himself over and buried his head into his bed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Today had been awful.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>---- </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was..... a pretty cringy day.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The Griillii slinks away to a welcoming dark corner of the bed, and slides to sit on the floor holding himself. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>‘The dark called... It wants you home. Safe and sound. In the void you'll be found. With the boundless gloom overbearing, hide from those who are uncaring. Leave them be, even if you can't see. Itching away the brain, enveloping in chains. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>‘The dark called.’</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <b>
    <em>‘It knows you're alone.’</em>
  </b>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>So this update is long time coming. We are very sorry, school killed both our motivations. Updates will probably be inconsistent but we will try our best.</p>
<p>Thank you all for being kind and understanding! ❤</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>He started with his own emotions. He felt hurt, betrayed, upset, and angry. Hurt because he's still missing an entire fucking limb. Betrayed because he assumed "I won't kill you" and "I won't hurt you" are one in the same. Upset because he just flipped his shit at the only fucking friend he has. And angry.... Why was he angry? Was he angry at Benrey? Or... or was he just angry at himself? Yes he started out angry at Benrey, he was pissed at the bean for letting this happen. But... he didn't. He didn't know. He said so himself, said he didn't know till he... tasted... blood...</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This chapter does have some angst, but its mostly the two talking it out and managing to forgive. ❤</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Gordon would give himself an hour or two to just... think. To process everything that just happened. He needed the time and space to sort through his emotions and the information he had been given. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He started with his own emotions. He felt hurt, betrayed, upset, and angry. Hurt because he's still missing an entire fucking limb. Betrayed because he assumed "I won't kill you" and "I won't hurt you" are one in the same. Upset because he just flipped his shit at the only fucking friend he has. And angry.... Why was he angry? Was he angry at Benrey? Or... or was he just angry at himself? Yes he started out angry at Benrey, he was pissed at the bean for letting this happen. But... he didn't. He didn't know. He said so himself, said he didn't know till he... tasted... blood...</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>With that he moved on to the massive infodump he just received. Benrey's weird relationship with Elton was also once shared with his shiv, he somehow tasted blood when Gordon lost an arm, and the creature was as confusing as always. Gordon was starting to accept that maybe he would never understand the entity.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It took him roughly an hour and a half to think over everything, and as he did so he realized he... he needed to apologize. Or something along those lines. He was still angry, but not entirely at Benrey. This doesn't mean he's just... okay with it now, but he needs to act like an adult. Not some bratty teen snapping at those who only want to help.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It took another half an hour to drag himself out of his self made bed as well as to tidy himself up. He changed out of the doll clothes and back into his usual orange tunic, he brushed his hair, used some water to wash his face, and left his bed by the entrance.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The first issue was where in hell would Benrey be. Instincts told Gordon he probably didn't go far, so he starts searching the bedroom.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"... B-Benrey? Are you still here?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eerie silence and a heavy pressure hung in the air. From the corner of the underside of the bed, where the light grew weak, sat a pitch black darkness that exuded the crushing yet alluring feeling.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The pressure made Gordon nervous, his ears pressed against his head. He didn't like it, made his stomach twist, leaving an unpleasant feeling. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He glanced around before noticing the darkness, under the bed. Gordon began to walk closer, as he did so he felt a pull begin. Leading him closer and closer to the black mass. Almost like a black hole sucks in everything around it. As much as he felt compelled to continue forwards he stopped next to the darkness, hesitating.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The dread in the air gave him pause, it was stronger now too. There was a real chance now that he had upset Benrey, the creature may strike. It may try and attack him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"... Benrey?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A head lifts, revealing a multitude of petrified glowing white eyes; the light from the orbs illuminated the broken-melting shape of the borrower facade - colorless. Little wisps of black essence bubble up and float off of the entity, losing pieces of itself bit by bit.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It makes a fearful sound before trying to hide itself further into itself. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"D-don't look... please? No- no want to scare, Gordon. No no... please?" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Despite having an hour to have calmed down, the Griillii didn't process time at all currently, leaving it still raw with its emotions and only able to speak in broken English. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>What was a minute supposed to be? What did a minute feel like? For once it wishes time would be concrete like how the humans experienced it; linear and smooth with two directions. For once it wishes that it didn't have the capacity to feel these horrid things - but that would go against its ultimate wish, its wish to love. Fucking emotions.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon frowned deeply at the sight, it made him sick. Seeing Benrey so distressed, so unhappy, so... unlike himself. It hurt... a lot. Gordon did this... Gordon caused this... all over some stupid blade. He hurt his friend. He hurt them over some dumb knife he didn't want to see all because of something that was completely out of his control.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"B-Benrey I..."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was hard to find the words. If he said the wrong thing Benrey may fall apart more, he didn't want that, he didn't want to hurt them. This isn't what Gordon wanted. God, why was he so fucking stupid.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He tried to take a step closer, "I..."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He took a deep breath before finally finding his words.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"W-we need to talk... about... about all this."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As if Gordon himself were made out of scorching light, the shadows near the borrower retreated immediately.  The blackhole said nothing, but nodded in response. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>...</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"O-okay... yes."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It finally manages to push out. Internally it chews itself out for not being able to say more when it's the most fucking important that it speak coherently.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon stopped approaching when the darkness flinched back. That... that hurt, a lot. But it was understandable, he did just spend a bunch of time yelling at the other. Fuck.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Instead of approaching Gordon sat down where he stood, looking at the shadowy mess, then to the growing form of Benrey.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"... I... I need to apologize."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The words perplexed the monster tremendously. Those white eyes raise back up to look at the borrower, seemingly disbelieving it heard correctly.  It wouldn't doubt if that was its next sense to fail after the sense of smell. Ghetsis, it hoped Gordon wouldn't be mad for not hearing his words and replying to the wrong thing. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"But... No. No. Why? Gordon not bad? Do not bad??" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It tried.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon frowns more at the sound of Benrey's broken English. His eyes glanced to the side for a moment as he heard distress in the other's tone. Gordon is bad, Gordon hurt his friend. Gordon lashed out and made harsh accusations.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He shook his head slowly, taking a deep breath. "I did though, i did do bad."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Green and brown eyes shifted to look back at Benrey, "I yelled at you. I accused you of something awful. I blamed you for something you had no control over. I hurt you..."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"H-hurt...?" It mimicked with a few orbs of dirt sweet voice floating with the question.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Is this what it felt? Hurt...? The Griillii had felt: fear, happiness, love, disgust, anger, worry, and pain. Pain had been once understood to equal hurt, as explained by Tommy, but pain for the monster felt... nice; it was supposed to anyways. But this... the way it felt now, was pain without pleasure. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Not to be mistaken with the times it felt playfully hurt, got a little sad at things, or even when it had a small oopsie-daisy.... No, this was much much worse. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>For the first time, Benrey felt agony.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The eyes stare at Gordon while glowing white tears that look like falling stars in the somber night sky cascade down its face. Inky black shadows flow towards the borrower curiously after their little scare.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon glanced at the shadows that moved towards him, he was nervous but he didn't move away. No, instead he let the shadows move closer, he didn't run this time.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>‘He did this.... He caused this... He fucked up.’</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The borrower hated seeing Benrey like this. The entity had fallen apart, all because of some fear induced reaction, all because of Gordon's instincts.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I fucked up." He sighed, "I shouldn't have yelled at you, I shouldn't have assumed you could have done anything, I shouldn't have done what I did." It can be hard to admit that an in-the-moment decision leads to someone being hurt. "I shouldn't have run, I should have stayed and talked it out. Like an adult."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>‘You need to be smarter than this Gordon, you need to be better.’</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"You have every right to be upset or angry. I.... I can't take back what I did but... I'm sorry. I'm sorry and I hope at some point you can forgive me."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"F-forgive you... Forgive... Forgiveness?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It took a moment for the creature to mull it over, but a verdict had been made. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Forgive... Gordon. Yes, yes yes..." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The Griillii was quick to forgive the borrower by speed running through his emotions; despite the revelation, the pain was still ever present. He felt cold, like a true void - the shadows seeking the warmth and light of a star. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Leaning and shifting towards Gordon, the blackhole closed the space between them, large arms wrapping around the smaller man and pulling him close. The Griillii buries his face into the other's shoulder and starts to weep. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I forgive. I forgive you. I'm sorry. I'm sorry too." He mumbles, English becoming easier to express once more.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon felt the pull of the black hole increase as the Griillii moved closer. He wasn't afraid, not like before. He quickly hugs them back, squeezing them tightly as they buried their head into his shoulder. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The star would happily give the darkness the light and warmth it craved.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Even as a borrower, Benrey was still bigger than Gordon, six inches tall, compared to Gordon's four inch height. The hug somewhat swamped him because of this. He actually appreciated the large hug more. Even before he knew Benrey he always somewhat liked to be held, by friends and family, of course. It's not as nice when a random stranger picks you up... but Benrey wasn't a stranger. Not anymore.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The soft apologies only caused Gordon to lean more into Benrey. He shook his head no, "don't apologize. You didn't know, you were trying to do something nice... you didn't know." The borrower kept his voice soft, wanting to comfort him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>In the goopy state, Benrey practically melts into the loving warmth of the words. Sweet voice hums out of the crying monster but is unable to have any color other than white. Still not all right. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"B-but my- my keystone- i should've- i should have--" The hold tightens desperately as if the star in his arms would burn out. Self doubts, growing like weeds, surfaced - his tears watering them. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I'm s-sorry imsorryimsorry-"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon frowns more when Benrey continues to cry and apologize. It hurt to see him like this. A being so powerful, so intimidating, yet somehow so broken. All because of Gordon. It hurt to see.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tears pricked his own eyes as the entity hugged him tighter. "No... don't be. Please..."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He moved his hand and cups Benrey's cheek, turning the others head to face him. He looked into the white eyes and felt himself begin to cry. "You didn't know... I shouldn't have snapped. I'm the one who need to be sorry..."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He leans a little closer, "I'm the one who needs to say sorry. Not you."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He then softly kissed him, keeping it gentle in case the other wanted to pull away</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But a blackhole doesn't ever pull away; it pulls closer. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The kiss felt electrifying and life giving, creating a small orange glow around their embracing mouths that bled into the void. Benrey closes his multiple eyes and needily kisses back, a clawed hand cupping the borrower's face on the opposite side.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As the kiss deepened, the orange glow tore across the Griillii in a rippling wave that ate away the pitch black to restore color once more. The goopiness recedes to solidify the faux borrower, but still some drippiness remains - not in the form of dark matter coming undone but in the form of tears that cascaded down Benrey's face. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The light lit up the boundless gloom, shedding away the agony for love.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The borrower shifts his hand up and gently removes Benrey's hood. He gently ran his fingers through Benrey's hair, almost mimicking the time the Griillii zoned out while petting Gordon. He kept each touch soft and loving.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He ran his fingers through the hair again, then said hand shifted to one of the faux borrower's ears. He softly pet the large, fluffy ears, sticking mostly the base of it as he lovingly pet it. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The borrower tilted his head a little to deepen the kiss. His tears slowed but did not entirely stop.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Benrey's hand on the other's cheek mirrors the movements done unto him. The careful hand slides to take the much smaller and cuter ear into his fingers' grasp, chasing after that ridiculously soft fluffiness. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>'Ghetsis, he's... he's so much softer at this size. So much warmer.'</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon broke the kiss and leaned into the hand petting his ear, softly he began to purr, tail wagging behind him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He slowly opens his eyes to look up at Benrey, a small smile formed on his face as he admired the alien. Their grey skin, sharp teeth, yellow eyes, all of it was otherworldly and oh so enchanting.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His hand continues to rub the ear, his purring growing a little louder as he did so.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Once he finished admiring Benrey, he leaned back in to kiss away the tears that stained the other’s cheeks. Each kiss was soft and loving. A quiet apology to go along with all the other apologizing he had already done.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Benrey leaned into the star's rays, his cheeks becoming positively sunburned with every touch. The deep rumbling purr of the Griillii matches Gordon's own little sounds. He opens his mouth to air an angelic sound that lets forth a stream of sweet voice orbs that went from pink to white. A claw reaches for a pink and white ball and grabs it to present it to the borrower. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Pink to white..." Benrey leans in to kiss a few of Gordon's tears in return. "You are my light." He purrs before pulling away some to let the lights be observed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The borrower blushes more when Benrey kissed away a few of his tears, his purrs only grew louder in response.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Then he looks up at the pink to white sweet voice that floats above them. It illuminated the dark space underneath the bed, the soft glow helping Benrey stand out even more, his stunning facial features illuminated with the soft colors.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Normally the sweet voice would hold Gordon's attention, usually he reached his hand up to touch the orbs, to admire them closer. His curiosity often drew him towards the glowing orbs of song. His brain filled itself with its usual questions about the Griillii, its nature, its abilities, its everything. His mind would often wander off on some tangent about the world outside, how amazingly beautiful and terrifying space must be.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But this wasn't his normal reaction.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When Benrey pulled away so the orbs could be admired, Gordon glanced at the orbs of song, of course, but his eyes soon drifted back to Benrey. Green and brown eyes soaked in the sight of Benrey, his purrs growing louder.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His hand pulled away from Benrey's ear and softly pressed to his cheek, then it gently trailed down to his chin, then it glided along his lips.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>With ever so gentle movements the borrower admired and examined Benrey's face. Gently trailing his fingers along each and every detail of the others odd, grey skin.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"</span>
  <em>
    <span>Enchanting...</span>
  </em>
  <span>" he softly breathed, not even aware he said it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The object of his affection leaned into every touch and melted from the word. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"N-no you..." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Benrey murmurs, his own eyes admiring every delicate feature of Gordon's face with immense adoration. He can't help but smirk from the silly, but true, clap back. Gordon was absolutely stunning to the Griillii. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His unruly waves of cinnamon brown curls; the warm skin that seemed perfectly sunkissed despite not having much sun exposure; those two astute orbs, one green one brown, that dazzled like two planets; a gentle caring touch; and a sharply smart and curious mind made Gordon the perfect, enchanting - as he put it, foil to the Griillii. He was the light to their dark. </span>
  <em>
    <span>His little shining star.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon laughs and blushes a little at the entity's silly clap back. He was flustered both from the clap back he received, and that he had actually just said that out loud. It wasn't his intention, but he couldn't deny the fluttery feeling in his chest. The yellow eyes on Benrey's face were less intimidating and more so something to be lost in. Their playful nature was endearing and welcomed. Their endless pull was less terrifying and a welcomed reminder that Gordon is wanted, </span>
  <em>
    <span>needed</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The little star continues to softly trail his finger along Benrey's face, soaking in every tiny detail. Every single perfect imperfection. It only helped his purring to increase, his tail happily wagging behind him. There was no hiding his happiness.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He leans in and presses a soft kiss to the Griillii's nose, right on the bridge of said nose. A mimic of what he would do when Benrey was much, much larger than him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I... I'd be lost without you, Benrey. I'd be dead. There aren't enough words in any known language to allow me to properly thank you.... I... I should have never snapped at you..."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He took a deep breath, in, then out. "I'm so fucking sorry."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I... I forgive you... y-you helped me realize, uhh, that I have the... the capacity to feel hurt..." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The Griillii reassuringly kisses his forehead to continue. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"That hurt is only possible because of the one thing, the best thing, that you've helped me discover, bro... Something that's very very fuckin rare for a Griillii to have..." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Benrey presses their foreheads together and his eyes flutter closed. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Gordon Freeman... you've helped me find the capacity to </span>
  <em>
    <span>love</span>
  </em>
  <span>."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon paused before very gently nuzzling Benrey's forehead. His hand skid down his cheek, to his shoulder, then down his arm, and finally stopping at the Griillii's hand. Gently he intertwined their fingers, his green and brown eyes closed as well. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He didn't know what to say in response, his chest felt all fluttery and his tears had finally stopped. To be here, to be loved.... it was the best feeling in the world.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>No. It was the best feeling in the entire cosmos.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>While he may never see space, nor understand it's vastness. The little star didn't need all the answers, not right now. In this very moment Gordon had everything he needed. He didn't need his arm, or his equipment, or his instincts. He needed what he had, and what he had was Benrey.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"</span>
  <b>
    <em>I love you too.</em>
  </b>
  <span>"</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you all so much for your support! Hope this chapter makes up for the sadness of the last one!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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